Brief Description of Me: Hello, everyone. I'm twenty-three. As a recent college graduate, I'm employed as a librarian, tutor, and babysitter, but I would love to eventually settle down as an English teacher and an author who writes actual books instead of just fanfiction.

For fun, I read, write, and surf the Internet. I've recently started writing a blog that so far contains reflections on hockey (including a number of posts on the Miracle team) and gymnastics, but will eventually also be home to my musings on literature and philosophy as inspiration strikes, so I invite you all to check it out. You can locate the blog at glimpsesfromanivorytower on wordpress.

My favorite subjects are history and English. My favorite books are all the Harry Potter series, anything by Tamora Pierce, anything by Phillippa Gregory, the Chronicles of Narnia, and basically anything except cheesy romance novels that come under my nose, although I have a soft spot for historical fiction and fantasy. My favorite movies are Star Wars and Miracle, so please don't judge me as an odd girl.

Politically, I'm independent and generally confused. Socially, I'm considered friendly and smart, but not popular. I've never drank beer or anything, and I've never smoked.

I am one of four kids, which is why I might sympathize with the Weasleys. I don't eat fast food or drink soda, making one strange American girl.

If you read my stories, I'd love it if you took a moment to comment on my work, since I'd like to be an author one day.

Poems:

I Asked God

I asked God to take away my bad habit.

God said, "No.

It is not for me to take away,

but for you to give it up."

I asked God to make my handicapped cousin whole.

God said, "No.

His spirit is whole;

his body is only temporary."

I asked God to grant me patience.

God said, "No.

Patience is a byproduct of tribulations.

It isn't granted;

it is learned."

I asked God to give me happiness.

God said, "No.

I give you blessings.

Happiness is up to you."

I asked God to spare me pain.

God said, "No.

Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares

and brings you closer to me."

I asked God to make my spirit grow.

God said, "No.

You must grow on your own,

but I will prune you to make you fruitful."

I asked God for all things

so that I might enjoy life.

God said, "No.

I will give you life

so you may enjoy all things."

I asked God to help me love others

as much as He loves me.

God said, "Ahh, finally, you have the idea."

Candidate for a Pullet Surprise(Often called "An Owed to the Spelling Checker")

I have a spelling checker.
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.

Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed to bee a joule
The checker poured o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.

Be fore a veiling checkers
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if were lacks or have a laps,
We wood be maid to wine.

Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know faults with in my cite,
Of none eye am a wear.

Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped words fare as hear.

To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should be proud.
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaws are knot aloud.

Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft ware for pea seas,
And why I brake in two averse
By righting wants too pleas.

Paradoxes of the English Language:

There's no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England, or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, and two geese. So one moose, and two meese, and one index, and two indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? That you comb through the annals of history but not a single annal?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love?

Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it!

Upon request, for Tamora Pierce fans, and for anyone else interested, here is an essay detailing various forms of address for members of the nobility at : http:///node/48

While there is no "i' present in "team", both "i" and "me" make an appearance in "media."