tortgirl
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Joined 10-10-07, id: 1395498, Profile Updated: 08-20-10
Author has written 11 stories for Twilight, Darkest Powers, and Inception.

Hi, I'm tortgirl. I used to love writing Twiligt paradies but now I'm into Inception. Like hardcore, insane its my crack addiction. I'm a huge A/A fan but don't like reading storties with no plot.

Favorite books:
Hunger games
Harry Potter
Jellicoe Road
Gemma Doyle Trilogy
Water for elephants

Movies:
Moulin Rouge!
Inception
(500) days of summer
Donnie Darko
Scot Pilgrim Vs. the world

Bands/Singers:
Radiohead
Muse
The strokes
Belle and Sebastian
Regina Spektor

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Notes with Alice, Bella & The Cullens by lanna-misssunshine reviews
Who are Batman & Pigeon? Emmett is Captain Doofus? What are the Cullen's irrational fears and why oh why does Jasper have a spoon in his pocket? (Kind of weird, read the summary in the a/n inside, it gets back to BxE normal note passing after a few chapters, promise.)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 95 - Words: 111,014 - Reviews: 4393 - Favs: 794 - Follows: 468 - Updated: 7/11/2013 - Published: 10/3/2007
Frisson by tripodion reviews
You missed it didn't you? The frisson. The feeling of falling you get during the Kick. The feeling you got when you kissed her. The rush of a heist. Gets addicting doesn't it? But beware, because it will kill you someday. And that day is getting closer.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 24 - Words: 40,052 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 7/25/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur
Capitulation by imperfectandchaotic reviews
Falling. The bishop falls for her, as does the die for him. It's like a kick, pulling them up for air when they find themselves drowning in the shadows of an ill-fated dream, thrown in by someone who wants nothing more than to rip them apart. Complete!
Inception - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 71,282 - Reviews: 1219 - Favs: 873 - Follows: 664 - Updated: 5/23/2011 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur - Complete
Matryoshka by mixed.vinyl reviews
Half a year after their successful inception, Ariadne receives an offer of another job with the team, and just like the last time, she has no idea what she's getting into.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 83,216 - Reviews: 919 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 614 - Updated: 5/3/2011 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur - Complete
Stuck by Queenhaq reviews
Arthur/Ariadne. It's been months since they attempted inception and Ariadne's guilty conscience won't leave her alone.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 14,986 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 11/28/2010 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur
Shadows by itakethewords reviews
The seed of fear can trap us in our own prison. What's behind the eyes of the people we think we know?
Inception - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 28,140 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 9/12/2010 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Complete
And Merrily we Fall by Don'tWorryBeHyper reviews
It has been less than two months since the Fischer job, and the team finds themselves back at work trying to stop an attempt on Fischer's life. As they venture deeper into dreamspace, Ariadne struggles to keep the world around her from collapsing.
Inception - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,359 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 7/22/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur
In Somnis Veritas by Kitera reviews
Adjusting to normal life after the job is difficult for Ariadne. Inception changed her life and it changed the world once word got out that that's how Fischer ended up dismantling his father's empire. Now there's a new job and the old team; the only team.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,043 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 206 - Updated: 8/3/2010 - Published: 7/21/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2129 - Favs: 3,539 - Follows: 1,646 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
A Great and Terrible Parody by GucciLovingStrumpet reviews
A slightly mad, if not insane, chapter-by-chapter parody of A Great and Terrible Beauty.
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 8,802 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 5/28/2009 - Published: 12/30/2008
Winter Passing by Carysbyrne reviews
A young noblewoman is heartbroken as she is about to be married off to an evil, conniving lord. However, the wedding doesn't go quite as planned. Warning: contains MAJOR season 2 spoilers.Please read and review!
Robin Hood BBC - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,254 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009
Stephenie Meyer and the Renegade Characters by browniechadowes reviews
Stephenie gets a little annoyed when her characters try to alter/comment on her novel, Twilight. Rated M for language mainly due in part to Jessica's inner dialogue
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 31 - Words: 23,901 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 4/20/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Stay by DaggerQuill reviews
He knew he should have said “goodnight” and left, closing the door gently, but firmly behind him, but his hand remained frozen on the doorknob. “Beatrice.”' What I thought was going to happen after Alan put Bea to bed in Issue 6.
Dreamer - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 903 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bea W., Alan W.
Random Conversations by Pale-And-Preculure reviews
Random Conversations... What more is there to say ? At the moment we have 41 Chapters Of Randomness and More to come... This story is Full of Silly Inuendo's Retarded Nickenames and Strange happenings...Who doesn't love a little Randomness?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 26,464 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/3/2009 - Published: 12/16/2007
Maximum Ride: The Twilight Zone by blessedbyacurse reviews
Max Ride/Twilight crossover: One of the flock gets injured, Max must go against her judgment and trust the Cullens to help them. It turns out to be a learning experiance for everyone involved... Find out what happens when 2 of the best book series collide
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 37,451 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 2/20/2009 - Published: 3/27/2008 - Max
A Great And Terrible Beauty: A Busy Reader's Guide by ThreeOranges reviews
A slightly slashy parody of the novels A Great And Terrible Beauty and Rebel Angels, with The Sweet Far Thing as Chapter 3, just added as of 220908
Gemma Doyle Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,555 - Reviews: 91 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 1/1/2007 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8371 - Favs: 7,500 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Track Star by AliceMakesMeLaugh reviews
Edward is forced to join the Forks High School Track Team! What happens as Mike's evil plans unfold?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 8,597 - Reviews: 114 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 2/17/2008 - Published: 11/18/2007 - Complete
The Computer Lab by BronzeStorm reviews
Carlisle and Esme are called into the school, but why? Who got in trouble this time and what does it have to do with the computer lab?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,712 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 326 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 9/29/2007 - Complete
Emmet's Fall Out Boy fix! by UgoHale0413 reviews
Edward is stole Emmet's CD and now it's time for revenge! One shot, First fan fic. PLEASE REVIEW! Teen just incase. The 6th chapter is up. Sorry for the delay!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,390 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 5/16/2007
Last Chances by FMGRE reviews
Eclipse spoiler! Bella sets out to experience a few human things while she still has the chance. Accompanied by Emmett, her last experiences are sure to be funny and entertaining.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 19,807 - Reviews: 340 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 12/3/2007 - Published: 8/13/2007
Road Trip by Alunamai reviews
What happens when the Cullens take a cross country road trip... in one hummer? And then Sirius and Remus turn up...Lets find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,436 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 10/11/2007 - Published: 6/21/2007
Karaoke Revenge! by Awesa-mazin-licious reviews
Alice invites everone Bella and the Cullens know to a Karaoke party! What will happen? Read and find out! Chapter twelve FINALY up! Sorry it took so long, but, ya know, school just started, so what can ya do? Changed the rating too.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 15,248 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/5/2007 - Published: 7/22/2007
Edward Gets Punked! by BetterThanBellaXOXO reviews
Emmett hypnotizes the Cullens into helping him out in punking Edward. What will happen? and how far will Emmett go to torment his brother?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,060 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 9 - Published: 8/26/2007 - Complete
Attention, WalMart Shoppers by sillybella reviews
Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,536 - Reviews: 1717 - Favs: 3,119 - Follows: 630 - Updated: 1/29/2007 - Published: 1/24/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Keys to Danger reviews
The team goes in for another job assigned by Saito. Cobb needs another forger for the job and calls upon an old colleage who is ill from years of taking bad sedatives. As they prepare for the job Ariadne starts recieving death threats from an unnamed man.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,295 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/23/2011 - D. Cobb, Arthur
Trust
Saito beckons the team for one last job involving his mistress. But Cobb needs the help of an old colleage who is dying. Not going to focus much on pairings but they will be there. Please review.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,376 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/28/2010 - Published: 8/25/2010
Durante reviews
One shot. Everyone's back to the firt layer and the team is waiting for Cobb and Saito to wake up. In this time Arthur and Ariadne bond a little.
Inception - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,279 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/13/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur
The Six reviews
Bella Swan has just moved to Forks Washington wih her hippie parents. She entangles witht he six, the most prized clique in all of Forks high. Non-canon at first AH and AU. Please review this is my first serious fanfic.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,505 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/30/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009
The Summoning: A Parody reviews
Because I love this series so much I've decided to do a chapter by chapter parody of it. Each chapter contains five of the book chapters. Please read and review:
Darkest Powers - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,552 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 5/6/2009
Mike the Vampire Hunter reviews
My grand return to fanfiction brings you after breaking dawn. After Mike's mother is bruttally murdered by a vampire Mike swears revenge. Yes this is a comic story. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,153 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 3/22/2009 - Mike, Leah
Bella and Edwards relationship:Whats up with that? reviews
The Forks night time news show does a show on Edward and Bella's relationship, this is pretty much the journey of Melissa Freally and getting her story on them. With cameo's from group therapy. Please R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,387 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 6/18/2008
The Gym Membership reviews
What happens when Emmett gets tricked into joining a gym? Rosalie becomes an areobics instuctor, Jasper and Emmett pretend to be gay, And crazy people hit on the Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 4,602 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 11/26/2007
Ridiculous things the human Cullens do reviews
A series of one shots of the Cullens before they were vampires, first up is Alice.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 3/22/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008
Poor little mind reader reviews
The Cullens torture Edward with songs in their heads funnier than it sounds please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 14,764 - Reviews: 309 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
25 things Emmett can't do involving Edward's piano reviews
the title says it all
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/23/2007 - Complete
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