Author has written 15 stories for Boondocks, Happy Tree Friends, and No More Heroes.
Real Name: Axel
Eye colour: Blue
Hair: Flip level, wavy, blue - originally light brown
Music that I love most
Nine Inch Nails
Gorillaz (you didn't expect that, uh?)
Mindless Self Indulgence
Jack Off Jill
Manu Chao (Again- didn't expect that, uh?)
Gli Atroci (Comical metal Italian band- I LOVE THEM!)
Things I love: The Boondocks- even if I wasn't enough brave to watch the last episode. Riley seemed... seemed... ARGH! ...Even if that is good, talking about Yaoi! Oh, I love yaoi too- and I'm a boy. Strange, uh? But more strange is that I don't like Yuri.
I like cat, music... psychology! So interesting! Lovecraft- even if I don't really his racism. Oh well, we can't however say that he isn't an excellent writer. Oh, I love Kafka too- and Anna Rice! All the works of Johnen Vasquez (Jhonny the Homicidal Maniac is a work of art, c'mon... and I feel Sick? And Squee! Oh God, and I love so much Invader Zim!), Lenore (by our savior Roman Dirge). Videogames, RPG. Nearly every Nintendo's Videogame! Sin City, V for Vendetta- more the comic than the film. Every Tarantino's movie. Kubrick entire career. My lil' Ipod! Italian food... and Paris.
Things I hate: French cousine. I hate it with all my heart. Neighbours- why I can't listen to my music at midnight?! What means that you have a little children?! Never heard of the Suzuki Method? THANKS ME!
Teenagers and their 'mood swing'. They're stupid. They're selfish. They're everything can be detestable. They can only talk at your back and hurt you.
Latin. I'm studying in a school for Psychology, why the hell I have to learn Latin?!
Racists. And poseurs- kill them all.
Skills: Drawing, Languages (I learn them pretty fast). I'm vaguely good in writing. Playing guitar. I found that I'm a good actor too- Hanshin a go-go, baby!
Background: I'm American. Oh, sure as hell... even if my English doesn't support this fact. My parents were Americans, and I was born in America. Brooklyn, WHAT?! Like Caesar of the Boondocks- I always had a soft spot for that child.
When I was a child I was a huge fan of 'The Bums'... But it lasted when a baseball ball hit my eye. That day I lost every interest in that sport and I turned to Aikido.
Mom and dad chose to go away, so when I was seven we went in London. Oh, good times! Unfortunately, I was too young for pubs- but still I had a great time. Punks- God, you don't know what a Punk is if you never see a British Punk! Their mohawks are simply beautiful... but they are a little bit mean, you know? And, well, they're not white for the greasepaint... is for the glue.
Anyway, I spent two years in Britain, then we went in Norway. Britain is good- but NORWAY?! Oh god, I love that country! I love snow, I love cold, I love people, I love the language, I love everything of Norway! All right, maybe not so much the food, but STILL- I LOVE NORWAY!
We lived in Oslo, and I had to learn Norse and how write in Bokmal and Nynorsk... Not so difficult, you know? And Norwegians speak a perfect English, so my class mates helped me. In Norway I discovered my love: Metal. Death metal, Gothic metal, whatever. And I fell in love with Seigmenn and Kaizers Orchestra... the last which isn't Metal.
We spent three wonderful years in Norway, and after that we went in France. Paris. More hot than Oslo, more beautiful than London.
Friends and beautiful girls- if the evening was clear we stayed on the Pont des Artrists, listening to improvised musicians, watching the jugglers, chatting with random guys. I loved that place. And if rained, well, I went at the Guinnes Taverne- Rock music every night! Yeeee!
Two years later we went in German. Goth festival! Rammstein! GOTHS! My life was happy. I were happy! I was in contact with my old friends- yeah, even the ones of Brooklyn - and my new friends were awesome.
Unfortunately I broke my left arm during a fight in Aikido, but thanks Lord hospitals are free in Europe. And is right. Fuck, is my right to live in health! If I have to pay for it, then I have to pay for be free, and for not be tortured, and for go out my house when I want and for whatever!
Now I'm in Italy. I'm nearly seventeen, and I live in Livorno. By the way, is true that the most famous Italian singers are horribly sappy- but Italians Metal heads are fantastic! God, I love them!
I'm doing an High School for study Psychology. I fucking love it.
And, well, obviously the food is simply awesome. Italian food is awesome only in Italy OçO
But this means something, y'know? This means that I begin to forget my mother tongue. And this is bad. Really bad! So, this is the why I need a beta!
The little cost of an happy life!
What I'm writing?
First Chapter: Huey - Done
Second Chapter: Jazmine - Done
Third Chapter: Cindy - Done
Fourth Chapter: Caesar - Done
Fifth Chapter: Riley - Done
Say It Again: I'm working on this fiction from the last year... I know the characters, I know everything about them... but I can't WRITE on them! ARGH! I begin so many times... But don't worry, one day you will meet the Jackson.
Who's the Girl? : You know Beautiful? I'm worse. I'm really worse. The characters involved are Huey, Riley, Cindy, Jazmine and Caesar. BUHAHAHHAHAHA!
Ring Around The Rosies: A story about an unlikely future in the Boondocks. Placed most of the time in Paris, the POV is from a OC but the story is about the Boondocks' characters.
You have: Done
Rosenrot: 'Cause sadness is all around me, but still I want to do a romantic fiction. Yee.
Quote from my life
Everything is translated from Italian. 'cause I'm having a wonderful time in this new school...
Prof: Enjoy these fiv- four... two minutes.
Damiano: Prof, can I do again the test? When I did it I was overwhelmed by passions.
Gregorio: Prof, are you sick?
Prof: Yeah... This morning I was thinking 'go? Don't go? If I go I will say nothing, if I stay home they'll have too much fun...'
Stach: No, he's at home.
Prof: Today I had to quizz him...
Stach: If I was in your shoes, I would call him at home.
Damiano: If I was in your shoes, Stach, I would not be a pain in the ass.
Prof: If you keep acting in this way, the Hurricane Hellen will be nothing compared to your exams!
Damiano: (after nearly falling against Daniela) Why you're always in my way?! Everytime we're in the same room, first I fall in your boobs and then I see you!
Prof: (Damiano was at the blackboard) ...Oh God... What he's doing...
Daniela: Something really bad...
Prof: God... Damiano, erase that horror... I'll turn around... I'll try to act like I never saw it...
Prof: I stop now 'cause from your closed eyes, from your yawns, your movements- and I could continue for hours - I feel that you're tired.
Damiano: Kneel in front of god Andrea!
Me: Do the sign of the Metal!
Damiano: You didn't understand the meaning of my words...
Me: Neither you understood the meaning of your words!
Prof: Oh God, you're tired... c'mon, it's just a radical!
Prof: ...unless you make an error in this exercise- if yes, I'll have to say goodbye to my youth!
Daniela: We are reading 'I promessi sposi', a book that people could happily burn the second after was written...
Andrea: Professor, your car is burning!
Prof: What? Well... I was thinking to buy a Lexus... or a SUV...
Me: But the principal never knocks before coming in?
Damiano: I don't want to answer. One day he will enter through the door... like Christ...
Prof: I will establish a dictatorship.
Marianna: Somebody opened the clasp of my rucksack...
Andrea: Somebody opened the zip of my trousers!
Damiano: And they found something?
Andrea: But I thought...
Me: Why you continue to use your brain for thinking when it's obvious that it isn't good for it?
Daniela: When you talk with me you have to kneel!
Andrea: Neurons are bad! Neurons have a life-and-death struggle with themselves!
Prof: Be precise! You're doing math, not philosophy!
Me: 'Crimes' is crime.
Me: That is the same thing.
Prof: uh... yeah... no... maybe.
Damiano: Today there's assembly!
Prof: Oooh... what a joyous news!
Prof: I was the substitute teacher in the other class... be the sub of that class is like a week of hard work at Guantanamo.
Prof: If you do again this error the next time I come with... what I said the last time? Oh yeah, a knife. Yeah yeah... bloooood...
Prof: The worms...
Prof: There are the worms, no? The last two days rained, so this morning I heard them...
Prof: Hear how they sing?
Prof: They lose every inhibition, they have to do their nest... You too (points Marianna) lose every inhibition and close the window.
Prof: SHUT UP, I'M TALKING!
Me: ...is him crazy?
Damiano: He's 'on the rag', give him a break...
Damiano: Stach, you have some troubles? I thought that you talked only about everyone else problem!
Marianna: But why we have to study grammar if what we want is writing?
Prof: Happens, sometimes, that women give birth to a child after nine months of pregnancy...
Me: You didn't study? Why?
Andrea: Well, you know those days... when you return home, eat, watch 'Pimp My Ride' on MTV... and when it ends you surf on internet, looking for the next episode of 'Pimp My Ride'... then when's nearly four PM you begin to study, but then again you return to surfing on internet... and at six you have to go at Karate, so you return at eight... you eat something before going out with your friends 'til eleven PM, when you finally return home and go to sleep... and the next morning you wake up and think 'Fuck, I had to study law!'
(Visiting Alex (a friend) in Hospital)
Andrea: Heeeeello my- (notice that Alex is doing aerosol) You can't talk? This is my dream!
Me: How are you?
Alex: Not really well. (points the other patient in the room) I see dead people...
Room mate: Go to hell!
Damiano: So, how many times did you see God?
Alex: Don't say his name here. Satan... is looking...
Andrea: What the hell were you breathing with that aerosol, weed?
Alex: I don't like this place.
Andrea: No doubt about it. In this place there's Death.
Daniela: Sssso, what you want to eat for tomorrow? Pasta, soup...
Me: Wait a minute. In hospitals there's a menu?!
Alex: More or less, yeah.
Me: But you have to pay for the choice, right?
Alex: ...I think that the lack of taste is already a good incentive for not eat.
Me: Well, when I had to go in a hospital I couldn't choose the food, they only gave me the thing...
Daniela: When a man says 'the thing' instead of 'food', this makes everyone understand how it tasted!
Andrea: I can imagine the nurse: "C'mon fairies, the slop!"
Damiano: How the hell work hospitals in America?!
Me: Uh... was in Germany...
Andrea: Oooh... "Schnell, fairies! Sausages unt ZAUERKRAUTS!"
Alex: I feel bad. Everything is bad and my life has no sense. Then I look at you that come to visit me, and I think "I feel bad and I'm useless, but if four people have enough time to visit a nobody like me and enjoy doing it, well, they are even more useless than me" and I feel suddenly happy to know that I worth more than you. Thanks (smiles)
Damiano: All our pleasure, believe me.
Alex: What do you remember of New York?
Me: Uh, well... not so much, really... We had a really nice house, and it was a beautiful city, at least, for me... And, well, at night there was always a lot of noise, so when I didn't hear anything I was all 'oh fuck, there's a UFO over the house'...
Damiano: New York is UFO and even more.
Me: And I have a vivid imagine burnt in my mind of a rabbit that tries to have a bowl of cereals...
(Talking about Archimedes' principle - a body immersed in a fluid is bouyed up by force equal to the weight of the displaced fluid -)
Baldassarre: A body immersed into water, if doesn't re-emerge after a minute, is a job well done!
Damiano: Ssso. You come from Sicily?
Andrea: Woo, I went in Sicily last year. Great place! In fact, why the hell did you come here?
Baldassarre: They made me an offer I couldn't refuse.
Andrea: Well, c'mon. If you want to move from Palermo, you have to go in a decent place. Rome, at most Florence!
Baldassarre: Livorno isn't so bad...
Me: Yeah, there's even the sea...
Andrea: One from NY, the other from Palermo, and where do they go? Livorno. Dumbasses.
(Mom didn't find something, so began to scream against my sister- my sister comes in my bedroom)
Me: (Look at her, smiling) So you don't know where is the thingie? SHAME ON YOU, USELESS HUMAN BEING! Shame on you!
Sister: (keeps weeping)
Me: (Notices that she's crying) O_O
Sister: L-leave me alone...
Me: (Goes where is the mother) YOU'RE A BITCH!
Mom: (hugs me) I'm happy that you love so much you're sister, you know? Not everyone would do something like that.
Me: Uh... t-thanks.
Me: ...Have you ever felt ashamed for defending your sister?
Me: I mean, my sister now keeps smiling at me. Mom's all happy. Dad said that I'm a good brother. It's... so... embarrassing.
Damiano: You are a moron.
Me: What if they say it at other people? I know my parents, they will do it, they will tell it at every friend... everybody will look at me and say 'Awwwwwwwwww'...
Damiano: Next time think before doing something. Sissy-boy.
Andrea: By the way, you really are a moron!
Mom: Your father used to have fantastic black ringlets, when he was young.
Dad: But now I'm more beautiful.
Mom: I don't think so. I remember that time, when you came home from Mexico, tanned and with those black ringlets... you did climb at tree outside my window for visit me...
Dad: I can do that no more...
Me: Yeah, you already have an hard time go up the stairs.
Sister: We'll need a lift, uh?
Dad: Well, I met a old friend, we didn't see each other for fifteen years, and when he saw me he said that I look prettier. (pauses) And then his nose grew longer!
(We watched 'Brother', a japanese film)
Damiano: Well, the lesson is 'do whatever you want, but don't even think to fight against Italian Mafia'.
Daniela: The head thing and the blow-up car were really Italian.
Andrea: The Tommy-guns too. That was a hell of signature.
Baldassarre: ...That isn't really a thing to be proud of.
Damiano: We don't have good things ro be proud of! The first thing that I'll do is go away from this stupid country!
Me: ...You wouldn't survive at the food. Really, you're not ready for vegetables with mustard... Or spaghetti with meatballs. (pauses) And British food.
Andrea: Wasn't British food good?
Me: No, is not that. I loved fish and chips. Is that their motto is "You can eat everything is FRIED!!", and I let you imagine how you feel after a while...
Prof: So, Emily, what's the Cold War?
Emily: Ehm... uh... W-was a war placed in...
Prof: Wait, I feel that you're going to say something really bad. Now I look outside the window... you think about it...
Emily: T-the... the Cold War was between the Soviet Union and America... And... and...
Emily: W-well, was a really cold period...
Classmates: (Everyone wakes up)
Prof: ...Was... a climatic thing?
Classmates: (Everyone shake their head, frightened)
Andrea: Poor Axel, he was completely frightened. (towards me, childish voice) And we destroyed your history! Yesss we diid! Yeeeeess we diiid!!
Damiano: (Whispering) Can you lend me the pen?
Damiano: But I was just...
Prof: I SAY SILENCE! I don't stand it! You have always an excuse!
Damiano: But I was just asking for...
Prof: IF YOU HAVE TO ASK SOMETHING, ASK ME! Always something to say! Just shut up!
Andrea: (toward Damiano) You have to shut up! It's your fault! It's your fault if we are in a bad mood! It's your fault if you are here! It's your fault if there's a hurricane! It's your fault if people die! JUST DIE!
Me: ...In silence!
Prof: Right, now draw some symbols.
Me: Symbols? What symbols? What the hell we have to do?
Daniela: Uh, you know, in the Paleochristian art they used symbols... Fishes, vine...
Andrea: Beard. (In early years Jesus Christ didn't have the beard. The beard is a symbol of winsdom)
Daniela: Uuuuh... suuure...
Andrea: Symbols are fishes, vines and beard. Beeard.
Me: Andrea, why are you drawing thousand trees?
Andrea: Trees are better. Trees are the life. Trees are wonderful.
Daniela: Right. So, trees everywhere?
Me: There's nothing better than trees.
Andrea: No, there's something better. Fish with beard.
Andrea: The fish with beard is the meaning of life.
Me: Damiano? Damiano?
Me: You're drawing the fish with beard, right?
Me: It's the meaning of life.
Andrea: You see, Damiano, you have to draw fish with beard... But the beard has to be a base in gold. Gold means divinity, wisdom...
Damiano: You even explain your bullshits?
Me: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeello mate!
Dorian: Too British fo' me. Are ya' forgettin' da ghetto?
Me: How can you sound gangsta if your name is Dorian?
Dorian: Said the one called 'Axel'.
Me: So, wassup in NY?
Dorian: Nothin' more than usually.
Me: 'people got killed under my window but no one noticed 'cause they thought those were only some frozen homelesses'
Dorian: Actually, I noticed that they were too much stiff...
(During P.E. I dislocated my little finger - the upper bone went on the second bone... it's complicate to describe, but it was nasty. And painful.)
Prof: Don't worry, it's nothing! (Calls the ambulance, panicking)
Andrea: Ah, we're doing nothing! I love you! (Looks at the little finger) ...wasn't it... longer?
Daniela: (Uncomfortable) It... it looks like a step... that isn't your bone, right...?
Me: (Horrified and in pain) Cut it! Cut iiit!!
(Comes the ambulance)
Damiano: Oh, good. Now begins the calvary.
Me: W-what d-do you-
Damiano: Don't worry. Hope to see you out the hospital, this evening.
(After an hour queueing in the Firt Aid)
Nurse: Uh, dislocation... You have to go in radiology.
Me: I-it's swelling...
Nurse: Don't worry, it's normal...
Me: C-can't you j-just pull it?
Nurse: They will do it, but first you have to go in radiology.
Me: It hurts! It hurts more as seconds go by!!
Nurse: You're sixteen... You're too grown up for feeling pain.
(An hour in queue to enter in radiology. Half hour in queue to go to the doctor, that finally adjusted my poor finger. Then he tells me to go in radiology to give them the first part of a module, then to the First Aid to give them the second part of the module.)
Radiologist: (He sees me) Oh, I knew I would see you again!
Me: (Relaxed 'cause the finger doesn't hurt so much) I missed you! And I really wanted a plaster.
(After four hours at the Hospital I return to school)
Damiano: (Surprised) Already here?
Me: I nearly cried... Surely I screamed a lot. Four hours of doom.
Damiano: It's 'cause you were a green code.
Me: Green code?
Damiano: Yep. White codes are the only that have to pay. They go to the first aid for stupid things, like, I don't know, pimples, light fever etc. They usually wait more. Then there are green codes- they need to go to the first aid, but they aren't in real danger. Dislocations etc are green codes. They do the queue. Then there are red codes, the worst ones. They are in danger, so they obviously don't do the queue. They are cured immediataly.
Andrea: Then there are the black codes...
Damiano: ...They are dead. They go directly to the morgue.
Andrea: ...Really really really quickly!
(Maria had a white balloon)
Maria: (hug the balloon) he's my baby!
Maria: And you're the father!
Maria: He looks like a stupid balloon, but he's so dear...
(Children make the 'baby' explode)
Andrea: Those SONOFABITCH! They killed a baby!! A BABY!
Daniela: We understand your pain, Maria.
Damiano: When's the funeral, my dear?
Maria: (overstretching a piece of the balloon) Look... he smiles!
Maria: At least he died quickly...
Maria: He was your son too, why you're not sad?!
Me: You're... scaring me...
Damiano: Really, I swear, it was on the newspaper...
Andrea: C'mon, you're kidding.
Damiano: I swear, it was on the second page, near the obituaries.
Andrea: (bursts in laughter)
Damiano: I swear! Instead of 'Gianni died under a train' there was 'happy birthday to our little dancer'!
Prof: Children need to play... you have to make them play, to part their works...
Damiano: You sew footballs, you paint the shoes.
(Talking about Social Workers)
Me: Yeah, I was thinking that... uh... that...
Me: What's the name, uh... you know, those guys who take away children from their family...
Me: Andrea, you know how are called those guys who take away children...
Me: No! The... uh... when there's a problem in the family they wake away the child...
Andrea: ...Social workers?
Damiano: We weren't so wrong, then.
(Some quotes from Italian TV)
Man: In the early time, a party argued about the art.194 for the abortion, saying that it's against the baby's life right. Strangely, some months before the same party said that if the baby, when grown up, enters in a house for steal something, then who lives there can kill him in self-defence. So we form the LIFAV, Lega Italiana per una interpretazione Fantasiosa del diritto alla Vita (Italian Legue for an Imaginative interpretation of the Life's right). You want to interrupt the pregnancy but you can't? Call us. Together we will lead your son astray, and twenty years after we will convince him to enter in the house of a trigger-happy. Join us 'cause, sometimes, with some children you have to be patient.
Man: Every four years, due to American elections, mass-media bore us for weeks making us see the competition, without telling us the fundamental thing, which is that Americans elect every time the most asshole of the two. This is why us of the LITAAS, Lega Italiana Telespettatori Annoiati e Assetati di Sangue (Italian Legue of the bored and bloodthirsty Tv audience) fight for an American election based on a pole weapons' fight. The nominees will not only fight with words, but also with halberd, axes and, why not, with sulphuric acid. Join us for the next American election 'cause, given that we don't have to vote, at least lets have some fun.
Paolo Rossi: And the poors... the poors are system wreckers, are defeatist, are selfish jerks. Poors are shits! They're always there, you see them every day, everywhere- and somebody that remembers the name of a poor?! Poors do everything for not spend! Rich people travel: poors emigrate. Poors don't buy nor waste! If it was for them, the 'made in Italy' would be dead! Have you ever see a poor on a yacht with three showgirls getting high with coke? Never!
(The same speech but later)
Paolo Rossi: Have you ever see a poor cry? No. Rich people cry. I saw Berlusconi cry. Yes yes. I swear. He was his normal self, walking around, greeting people and shaking hands, then he saw a poor and he yelled 'OH MY GOD, WHAT'S THIS! (acting frightened) Oh my- but what is this?!' . 'He's a poor, your Majesty...' 'A poor... (weeping) this is the former government's fault!'
Maria: (she draw a rabbit on the palm of her hands) Look Poppy! Poppy's singing, Poppy's dancing, Poppy's fucking... Good Poppy! (Claps her hands) Oh no... Poppy's dead!
Andrea: No, you don't understand... Galla Placidia's like a candy, hard out and soft inside.
Me: Like entering in a wardrobe and find yourself at Narnia!
Damiano: The cosmic nothing in your diary is scary...
Me: No, it's scary that you have enough free time to read my diary.
Daniela: I don't believe it. I can't believe it. I don't want to believe it. We... they re-elect Berlusconi!
Andrea: Other four years of the dwarf! Yeee!
Baldassarre: What I can't believe is that the south and centre Italy chose to vote him. I mean, what the hell?!
Damiano: Well, this means something: mafia's worse than we thought, over there.
(From the song "Parco Sempione" of an Italian band, 'Elio e le storie tese')
Elio: (talking) What's happened to you, Robert? You were a person better! [sic]
Elio: (talking) this thing... it's spreading!
One in the band: But don't you hear how good he is at playing badly?
Elio: (talking- he meets the hippy) But... it was you!
Hippy: (burst into tears) ...I didn't want to do that... They made me do that!
Elio: Don't worry... I will teach you how to play those fuckin' bongos!
Hippy: But I don't like bongos... I'm interested in F1...
Elio: Then I will teach you how to play the F1!
Man: In the early time, Iran, one of the richest country of the world of petrol, began a plan to enrich uranium, saying, as an excuse, that it was for preventing an energetic crisis- like if Maradona went in Columbia saying, as an excuse, that he needs to learn Spanish. At the same time, against the Iranian nuclear danger, the USA, paladins of peace, said that they're ready to intervein, if necessary, with the nuclear bomb- and thanks Lord that they're not paladins of war.
Man: Today the USA clarified their non involvement in the death of Calipari, in the rescue of Giuliana Sgrena. (...) Even if the Pentagon is willing to forgive the suicide of our secret agent, however every day there are too many italians who, falling into the trajectory, make American soldiers waste bullets that are for Iraqis and Democracy. This disgraceful malpractice of ours ruins American soldiers' good mood and makes us unworthy even of their friendly fire. This is why, from today, you can adopt an American soldier. With just five euros you can send your marine in the biggest American entertainment centre on the world: on the top of Cermis. Adopt an American soldier 'cause... who shoots a friend, shoots a treasure.
Mock chain letter: For every mail you will send to xmanuelitax@ an association will give 0,00001 dollars to the American aviation for give them another plane, that they're going to use for destroy another Italian cableway: some years ago the entire country mobilized for this, and at Cermis the American's flyers did the miracle.
Damiano: Yes, I'm for it. Let History remember us with a proud look full of unmotivated pride.
Andrea: I don't wanna be a bass player, no one ever remembers them.
Me: Sure, look at Varg Vikernes.
Prof: Oh my God... Alessandro, I've got a nimbus? 'Cause my head is heavier than usual...
Me: Maybe those are the horns.
Dad: Do you want a beer?
Friend of my dad: ...What's this, a trick question? You want to embarrass me!
Prof: (Reading a brochure, looking for what you can and can't do in a park) ...In the end you can just breathe!
Me: Aye, I wanna write sum'fink, y'kno'? Jus', y'know, a good story, a nice thing... sum'fink, y'know?
Dieter: You're gonna have some haaaaaard times with the editing...
Dieter: Well, y'know, the real problem is that we play RPG online. I mean, in forums. We are good in writing about the character, we spend a lot of words talking about the weather or the place or whatever, but we tend to cut too much the scenes in the end- so the other one can go on. When we read a book we tend to write the answer in the white piece at the end of the chapter.
Me: Anyway, wassup in Berlin?
Dieter: Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Y'know, in those last days I did some people-watching.
Me: Don' tell me- ye' finally noticed 'dat most o' da people in Berlin is Turkish?
Dieter: God bless them, the kebab is simply... ooh... marvellous, marvellous thing... hm, keeeebaaaaab...
Me: Whaz a Turkish Delight?
Dieter: a Turkish sweet. It's sweet. It's sweety-sweet. It's unbearably sweet. It's, uh... you know marzipan? Y'know, marzipan is sweet and frikkin' heavy. Well, Turkish Delight is, more or less, like 2 millions tons of marzipan. You can feel where the sugar is blocking an artery and, at times, you can even hear your heart while it slows down 'til death. Eat one of them is like... a trip.
Me: Ye could use them in da Twilight War.
Dieter: Uh, well, we couldn't. Turkish had them- and that's why you rarely hear about a turkish, in the WWII. It's their deadly weapon.
Me: Like British pudding. Pray God to never see a blood pudding in your life- that's the real final solution.
(After a discussion about fascism, nazism, Switzerland etc.)
Dieter: Morons. Stupid, little morons. Look at them, filthy human being, all "let's destroy the life to every german who wants to shave his hair or walk around with some Doctor Martins". Stinky morons. There are five nazi-neo nazi-Skin head in Germany, five people that are gonna be killed by everyone who understands who they are, but in Switzerland and in Austria they're all "yes, the third reich! Let's follow the German example!". Morons, idiots, assholes. A pure race of tall men with blue eyes and blond hair, and who said that? A dark haired dwarf. Let's follow the words of a little hypocrite, yes! Let's follow unser Fuhrer- if only we could see him. Where is he? Where is he? HERE HEEE ISSSS! Again, again! Pika-boo, I see you! Oh, Mein Fuhrer, you're too short! C'mon, go hand in hand with mommy!
Me: You really are too stupid for being German...
Daniela: What do you want for you birthday?
Michel: A brain.
Michel: Yeah, the next week I'm eighteen, so? I mean, alcohol ruined my brain, Filippo, who has a year more than me, is in college while I'm still here, I'm going to have a car that my parents will seize after two days... the next year I'm going to be in coma!
Michel: Then, the day of my birthday, somebody usually throws a big party... which means that the day after I wake up in the woods.
Michel: Yesterday I began to drink at 12 AM. At three am I said "stop, tomorrow I have to go to school" and they were all "don't worry, we'll take you there! We'll park the car in the classroom!"
Marianna: I remember, you had a white blouse and a pair of ballerinas...
Andrea: Do you do mental pictures of everyone you see? You know all my clothes, then! And I'm lucky that I don't wear blouses...
Andrea: Marianna, how was dressed the guy with her? I have big questions, about his clothes.
(Talking about the training)
Damiano: (with two coins of twenty cents on a hand) In a months you will earn more or less this sum.
Prof: You! (Points a random guy in the class) You, like everyone, you will die!
Sister: (By cell) Yo, Axel?
Me: Y'might don't believe it, but I was thinking of you.
Sister: Can't believe it, but I was thinking of you too.
My brother: (next to me; squeaky voice) Oh, it's MAGIC!
Me: Mom! Mom! I can cook! I can cook pasta in the italian way!! I CAN DO IT!
Mom: You're no more our son.
Brother: (With a bottle of Amaretto) One for the cake, one for me. One for the cake, one for me. One for me, one for me. One for the cake? No, for me!
Me: One for me?
Brother: I can't waste it, there's not even enough for the cake!
Brother: (looking for something, in a shop)
Me: It doesn't exist.
Me: (Looking at a detergent with a picture of a blond woman dressed in white on it) I don't understand. Why they use blond people, for these detergents for... white cloths? Why not albinos?
Brother: (Bursts into laughter)
Me: Well, it has a sense. Really, why not albinos?
Brother: Maybe for their red eyes of SATAN.
Brother: (Looking for something)
Me: It doesn't exist. Was a fake advertising to distract us from Kennedy's murder.
(Phylosophy; professor was talking about Parmenides)
Silvia: He says that there are two ways. Doxa brings you to the is not. But if Is can't be Is not and Is not can't be Is, how could follow the Doxa bring you to the Is not?
Prof: Oh, it isn't like that. He said that the Doxa brings you to the doubt, where you can think that Is not may be Is.
Me: But... if somebody thinks that Is not is, then the Is not is 'cause those persons think it. No? I mean, uh, if those same persons don't think that the Is not is, then the Is not isn't. Uh, right?
Prof: ...That's... really smart. A brainwave!
(Biology: Talking about Rh-)
Prof: So when a woman Rh- gives birth to a child Rh plus she needs an injection to stop her antybodies.
Vladimiro: But us, who are Rh plus, don't have to do that injection, right?
Prof: Oh, sure. (To the rest of the class) He's so worried 'cause he may be the first man to give birth!
Idiocy is from me, Errors are from tiredness.