Poll: What is the most distinctive quality in truly excellent fanfiction? Basically, what makes great fanfiction so great? Vote Now!
Author has written 28 stories for Lord of the Rings, Ranger's Apprentice, Chronicles of Narnia, Merlin, Big Bang Theory, and Sherlock.
9 August 2012
Quote For Inspiration:
"There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed." -Ernest Hemingway
HP's Current Status:
Man oh man, it's been a busy summer.
PROFILE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION/INTENSE SPRING CLEANING (because I never have time to clean anything because everything I own is basically covered in books)
I am a proud member of the DREC--Dragon-Riding Emrys Club. Want to know what this is all about and become a member? Read the fic "DREC" by Katherine Moonhawk. :)
Ranger Corps: Men in Cloaks
I am the founder of this lovely group! Want to know what's up? Read Ranger Corps: Men in Cloaks and all will be explained.
Attention: We now have a community and a forum, so go check them out!! :D There's even a challenge posted. :D So far, Muha, Radha, and I have done it. If you do the challenge, please let me know (either in the forum or via PM) so I can add it to the community! Also, we're doing a Round Robin-type story (you know, once I pick the next name), so feel free to drop by the forum for that as well!
And now...*drumroll* here are the wonderful members and their titles (if they chose to have titles)!!
Hibernian Princess - Executive Director, Composer, and Choreographer of Broadway-Style Musical Numbers (Halt's partner ... *ahem* in writing musical numbers!! Halt's partner in writing musical numbers. There.), also Halt's Secret Wife...don't tell Pauline. (Hey, it's MY group, so I can pick whatever title I want, haha.)
Me (well, sort of)
English (Writing)/Italian major, Medieval and Renaissance Studies/Catholic Studies minor, medievalist, Arthurian, Roman Catholic, nerd, geek, and all that other good stuff. Always surrounded by at least a dozen books and many pieces of paper that may or may not be written on by me. Probably the quirkiest and most eccentric person you will ever meet.
I also exist on Twitter (@rangermaiden and @merlinmathmagic, which is the account affiliated with my book) and Tumblr (merlinsfirstlove).
Words of Wisdom
"Last words are for fools who haven't said enough." -Karl Marx
"An ordinary archer practices until he gets it right. A Ranger practices until he never gets it wrong." -Halt
"If my doctor told me I only had six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." -Isaac Asimov
"Someday all you’ll have to light the way will be a single ray of hope, and that will be enough.” -Kobi Yamada
[Arthur knocks on door]
"Anger is the fluid that love bleeds when you cut it." -C.S. Lewis
"Impossibility is nothing more than an impractical notion." -Me
"I really do like Gilan, but more in the 'I'd date him' way, whereas I like Halt more in the 'I'd court him for three years, be engaged for two, then marry him and live a long and happy life with him' kind of way." -Me
"But it'd make me feel, like, four percent nerdy!!" -my sister's friend
"Ferris, if having a conversation makes two people lovers, I’d appreciate it if you’d shut up." -Halt (in my fanfic Cadere)
"It's hard to kill a man if he has a beard." -Bradley James
"'Saxe knife and tea,' he muttered, as if it were some kind of bizarre shopping list." -Ranger's Apprentice Book 8: The Kings of Clonmel
Halt- "I don't sing, that's usually up to my OOC alter ego who is currently trapped upon the Enterprise." -a review I got for Cadere
"That's right--you saw what you saw. That's how we roll in the Shire!" -Leonard Hofstadter, The Big Bang Theory
Sherlock Holmes: Punch me in the face.
"Magic lives in curves, not angles." -Mason Cooley
Okay, so I've seen this thing on Facebook before and found it on someone's FF.Net profile...with fictional characters. Well, this should be interesting...
1. Hermione Granger
3. Kvothe Kingkiller
9. Huckleberry Finn (yeah, random, but I really do love that book)
10. Lady Pauline (not really a favorite, but this could possibly get interesting--plus I need more women)
12. Ophelia (definitely not a favorite, but oh dang, this could be fun...)
1) You're out on a night out with 8 when you're savagely and drunkenly attacked by 2. What does 8 do?
Hmm, so I'm out for a night with Halt (mmm...*daydreams*) when we're savagely and drunkenly attacked by...Gilan? Halt would probably flip a chip and lecture Gilan about how, since he's a Ranger, he's not supposed to be randomly stumbling around drunk (after defending me--he's a Ranger, it's what he does). Although Gilan would probably ask what Halt and I were doing out, since Halt is kind of married (even if it's not "out" in a romantic sort of way)...dang, this got interesting pretty fast. I'd probably just be sitting there, trying to smooth things over as best I could. And reveling in the fact that I'm around two of my favorite fictional men OF ALL TIME; never mind that they're having a *ahem* disagreement.
And jeez, apparently Halt likes me enough to hang out with me (even if it's in a non-romantic fashion--I'll take what I can get). WIN!
2) What would happen if 9 got 5 pregnant?
Hmm...if Huck Finn got Eowyn pregnant...??? Firstly, Huck is like 12, soooo...it might be impossible. But I bet Faramir would be pretty ticked off. And Huck's guardians would have a lot to say about that (yet slavery is totally okay to them)...
Although I must admit, I'd be very interested to see how the child of a secretly wise river kid with horrible grammar and a kick-butt warrior chick would turn out...I have a feeling that this could could change the world if s/he wanted to. I think their child would be an outspoken abolitionist. Hopefully Eowyn would be more responsible for the care of this child than Huck. Huck's a decent kid, but I wouldn't trust him raising my children--he's only twelve and he already smokes a pipe and cusses like a sailor. In fact, I'm not really sure that Eowyn would even let him come into contact with the kid.
3) 6 and 11 go to a strip club. What happens?
Aragorn and Caspian...???? Wow, out of this list, they are probably the last two I would've picked for that...they'd probably have to be really upset about something (and totally not thinking, ha). Let's say they were dealing with kingdom problems and women problems, so they decided to let loose. However, when they go there, they just end up feeling terribly awkward, so they leave and go for a glass of ale instead. They get to talking about how their wives are/were cheating on them and find out that Arwen and Casian have been together and Aragorn and Liliandil have been together. HOLY EXPLOSION. So maybe this means war?
(wow, I took that idea a bit too far, haha)
4) 7 and 12 are making out when 4 walks in. What's 4's reaction?
Arthur and Ophelia are making out (oh, just the idea is enough to make me laugh...) when Merlin walks in. Ophelia's eyes get all huge and Arthur snaps, "Merlin! Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Sorry," Merlin replies, embarrassed but slightly amused. "Just making sure she wasn't going to drown herself in a pond again, sire."
Ophelia, who is now uncertain of her affections for Arthur now that Merlin is present, stands up, starts waving her arms around, while declaring in a high-pitched and very obnoxious voice, "Maybe, maybe not, maybe maybe not..." (If you have no idea what this is about, go watch the Reduced Shakespeare Company's version of Hamlet. Please--it's hilarious!)
"Look now, Merlin, everything was going just fine until you came cavorting in and interrupted us!" Arthur chastises as Ophelia continues to skip around the room, going, "Maybe, maybe not, maybe, maybe not..."
"I don't think you know what 'cavorting' means," Merlin objects. "I just walked in--no cavorting whatsoever!"
Arthur rolls his eyes and replies, "Honestly, Merlin, it's no wonder you've never had a girlfriend."
At this point they hear a scream of "WHEE!" as Ophelia jumps out of Arthur's window.
"Well," Merlin begins, "at least she didn't drown herself."
5) 10 falls in love with 3. 1 is jealous, what happens?
Pauline falls in love with Kvothe. Hermione is jealous. Oh, this is such a romantic mess, since every single one of these characters is with someone else.
One day, Pauline is on a diplomatic mission when she meets an attractive young bard with flaming red hair. Once she hears him sing, she completely forgets about Halt and now they're married and stuff because he plays the lute and sings so beautifully. She uses her position in the Diplomatic Services to, um...keep tabs on him as he travels around. Eventually, she learns that this is Kvothe Kingkiller, figure of legend, who got into the University at age fourteen, can charm anyone with his songs--the man who saved the life of one of the richest men in the world--thrice--the only one to return from a stay with the Fae and to train with the foreign people whose names I can't remember now. And now, of course, she's even more amazed (jeez, she really goes for the guys who are living legends, doesn't she?).
Little doe she know that Kvothe has also been to Hogwarts, where he's also put Hermione under the spell of his flaming red hair (apparently she has a thing for red-haired dudes).
Eventually, Pauline simply can't resist the attractive legendary bard, so she summons him to Redmont and tells him how she feels. He informs her that he's kind of in love with a girl named Denna (true to the books) and points out that she's also married to Halt. At this moment, Jealous Hermione jumps out of the closet and starts flinging every curse known to wizardkind at Pauline. Apparently, they don't really work in Araluen, so Pauline is just dodging sparks. In order to show Hermione who's boss, she grabs Kvothe and kisses him passionately.
Halt chooses this absolutely perfect moment to return home from one of his missions to find a room filled with red and gold sparks, an angry-looking girl in black robes, and his wife kissing a young man with red hair. Naturally, everything explodes in every possible direction--end of Halt and Pauline, plus if Ron finds out, I'm sure he won't be too thrilled...actually, I think that Kvothe is the only one who could walk away from this. He's not officially with Denna (dang it, Pat Rothfuss, I've been waiting for that for two freaking books; Kvothe better get it in gear soon!!!), so no harm, no foul.
6) 4 pulls up beside you, and offers you a lift. Will you take it?
Merlin!!!! YES!!! For sure. :) Never mind that he's from a time with no cars--anything is possible with magic! Plus, Merlin kind of seems like he'd drive a Prius (especially if he stayed true to T.H. White and ages backwards).
7) Why is 6 afraid of 7?
(haha, I'm tempted to make a bad number joke right about now...)
Hmm, good question. Why IS Aragorn afraid of Arthur--he's the better swordsman. Of course, Arthur does have youth on his side...plus he's the once AND FUTURE king, whereas Aragorn is just a one-time deal. So it's not so much fear as intimidation, I suppose.
8) 10 is getting ready to marry 5, when 9 runs in to stop the ceremony. What is 9's reason?
Ummm...Eowyn is marrying Pauline? Yeah, that wouldn't happen, unless they were trying to pull over some sort of elaborate bluff in order to confuse the bad guys--a bluff that depends on the distraction of this weird event. Of course, they recruited Huck to stop things at the last moment, which he does, while giving a speech that is incredibly insightful for a twelve-year-old who has amazingly poor grammar.
Oh yeah, and I almost forgot about the fact that, according to question 2, Eowyn is pregnant with Huck Finn's kid (assuming that this is even possible). Although Huck has kind of an...interesting sense of morality, I don't know how he'd feel about the girl he impregnated fake-marrying some other woman. (All of this is beginning to sound like some elaborate Mark Twain satire...maybe Eowyn and Pauline would symbolize the North and South of the United States during the Civil War...and they're just pretending to get along. Of course, Huck calls their bluff and says that they don't have to do something ridiculous to do what's right--because he is, after all, probably the smartest fictional twelve-year-old ever.)
Wow, that was quite a tangent (hmm, I wonder if that's really what Twain would've meant it he wrote something like that...). That's what happens when you're taught The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn more than once (I was an assistant the second time, so I wasn't technically part of the class, but things stuck with me).
9) Give a title of a romance movie about 3 and 12.
A romance with Kvothe and Ophelia...oh man, that would be so weird. They'd be a horrible couple since he's so intelligent and finds success in everything and Ophelia is...well, she's a complete ditzhead. I think I'd call it Turbulent because that's what their relationship would be like. Either that or A Lovely Murder because that's what Kvothe would commit. You know, I actually think that a romance between these two would somehow end up with Ophelia dead and Kvothe with even more impressive stories/accomplishments under his belt. He'd probably leave her halfway through the movie out of sheer frustration because she's so empty-headed.
10) Fill in the blanks: "(1) and (9) are in a happy relationship, until (9) runs off with (2). (1), brokenhearted, has a short relationship with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (6), then follows the wise advice of (8) and finds true love with (3)."
Hmm...Hermione and Huck are in a happy relationship (lol, I can imagine that--Hermione would constantly be correcting Huck's terrible grammar) until Huck runs off with Gilan (wait, what?!?! That is wrong on sooooo many levels. Firstly, there's the fact that they're both guys. Then, Gilan is like 10-13 years older than Huck and...even if homosexuality wasn't against my personal beliefs, these two would clash--Gilan would have fun messing with Huck for a while, but eventually Huck's lack of morality would get under Gilan's skin). Hermione, brokenhearted, has a short relationship with Caspian (sheesh, he needs to settle down with the women...Liliandil, Arwen, Hermione...) and a brief unhappy affair with Aragorn (settle down there, cowboy...first Arwen, then Liliandil, now Hermione...sheesh, we're just going through the famous women in fantasy of the past several decades, aren't we?), then follows the wise advice of Halt (he does give wise advice) and finds true love with Kvothe (which I could actually totally see--they're both perfectionist brainiacs who like being good at everything, though Kvothe is quite a bit more laid-back than Hermione. Maybe I'll have to do a crossover with these two one day...)
And now...the moment you've ALL been waiting for...er, the moment for which you've all been waiting (English major, sorry)
Hibernian Princess's List of Top Five Fictional Men That She Fancies--Complete with reasons!!
2. (Subject to switch with 3) Gilan - Holy juxtaposition, right!?! But yes, I also love Gilan--he's just so cheerful and cute!! He's more in the stereotypical line of book-crushes than most of the other guys on this list but...how can a woman resist Gilan!?! He's like a rod of energy and joy!! Plus he's the only Ranger with a sword, which is dang awesome. Too bad for me, because he has a thing for Jenny. :(
3. (Subject to switch with 2) Halt O'Carrick - This was infatuation at first read (that's my clever [or not-so-clever] modification of "love at first sight"). From the moment Flanagan mentioned his Hibernian burr, I knew this'd be interesting. He fits the general profile of fictional men I like--considerably older than me, facial hair, great warrior (well, in a way), legendary...something about that combo just makes me go all weak in the knees. Plus he has an epic sense of humor and a soft side beneath all the tough and manly Ranger-ness. He's not perfect and he doesn't try to be, but he ends up being a better person than most people. I was all excited about this one--"Oh, look, here's a Ranger who's my imaginary match made in...well, Araluen, and HE'S A FREE MAN!!!" But no. He had to go off and marry Lady Pauline in book 7. I feel cheated.
4. Kvothe Kingkiller - If you don't know who this is, go read The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss NOW. It is seriously the best book I've read in a very long time (plus the author is from my home state--win for Wisconsin!!!) and Kvothe just makes it better. He's so smart, but he's very laid-back about it--he doesn't try to look like some giant brain, but it happens. Anyhow, he's a scholar, a musician, an actor, and he has a sense of humor. And his name is alliteration, which is kind of awesome (he'd probably make fun of me for a loooooong time if I ever actually said anything like that to him, haha). Unfortunately, like almost everyone else on this list, he has a ladylove, although they're not official (after two books, gahhhhh!!!!). Mer.
5. Caspian X - Again, this kind of segues over into my crush on Ben Barnes, but I still love book-Caspian. He's very noble and dedicated to Narnia, which are both excellent qualities. And he can fight, which is always a plus...but he doesn't get all bloodthirsty with it. For example, when he had the chance to kill Miraz, he spared him (but Miraz didn't end happily--in the movie, he was killed by Glozelle and I don't remember what happened in the book because the last time I read it, I read it in Spanish). Of course, Caspian had to go off on the Dawn Treader and marry the gorgeous half (or possibly full) star girl. :S
Wow, if you read all of this, I commend you (although it used to be A LOT longer). Now you know more about me than about 75% of the people who know me in person.
So yeah, go forth and feel epic!
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