Kyleena
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Joined 11-10-07, id: 1418355, Profile Updated: 12-26-11
Author has written 16 stories for Warriors, House of Night, Twilight, Vampires, and Vampire Academy.

~Kyleena~

I am in DESPERATE need of a Beta. Please help )=

Horoscope: Sagitarious

Birthstone: Topaz

Fav. color: hot pink, lime green, and orange.

What i like: Books. Boys. Typical nerdy teenage stuff =P

My favorite books: Gosh..incredibly hard to say..I'm really into paranormal romance stuff right now.

Fav. Tv shows/movies: Twilight, Gossip Girl, Corner Gas, and random other shows/movies

Religion: I don't have a religion. Shocking I know. But I really just don't believe. Pm me if you would like to know more.

A little bit about me: I have a tendancy for sarcastic remarks and I am brutally honest. I also tend to randomly disapear for amounts of time.. I also would have no problem helping review your stories. I'm addicted to books and music. I'm only 15 so between school and all the drama -_- that involves I may not be able to update as much as I would like. I also LOVE reviews, they're usually my inspiration to continue updating (= I love giving them too!

Picture links

Dangerous

Chapter 1

Bella's New Car

Chapter 4

Bella's zebra skinnys

Bella's skull skinnys

Bella's plaid skirt

Bella's red and black dress, halter

Bella's hot pink dress

Bella's Crest hoodie (Twilight I now, but I had to okay?)

Bella's Rose Lace Cami

Bella's Tripp Red Black And White Plaid Corset

Bella's... not sure what to call it. (the one that she didn't know what it was)

Bella's liquid eyeliner

Bella's Green nailpolish

Bella's Blue mascara

Bella's Red Mascara

Twilight Without one black

Chapter 12: Painting

Edward's Updated Volvo

My opinion on warrior characters.

Leafpool. I mean really who wouldn't love a smart medicien cat?

Sandstorm. GIRL POWER!!

SpottedLeaf. She loved firepaw/heart/star and was devoted to being a medicine cat

Yellowfang. I love her attitude

Tigerstar. I mean really he would do ANYTHING for power and he's evil.

OK warrior characters:

Firestar. I mean he lost his spunk in the second series.

Nightcloud. She fought against her Clan mates and then took a mate in Crowfeather?

My fave Silverwing Characters

Carnassial. My evil side again. He rocks. (darkwing)

Panthera. like sandstorm she wanted to be loyal to her leader and Carnassial. (Firestar) (darkwing)

Goth. He is so cool.

Fav. Inkheart/Inkspell/Inkdeath characters

Farid. he is so sweet...Meggie was stupid to reject him

Meggie. She rocks. Is better in Inkspell than Inkheart...and totally sucked in Inkdeath

Dustfinger. AWESOME CHARACTER

Capricorn. kool

Basta. I hate him for what he did to Dustfinger but other than that...

Resa and Mo. ...I like them but...

Roxane. She is sweet

Twilight Characters. I love em all...exept for a certain Werewolf. CoughJacobCough

Edward: ...I'm all for Edward Cullen. Whoots!

Bella: I really wish i could be Bella i love her, but I don't want her happy ending. She can have it. I'll just have to find my own...sigh

Alice: I love Alice Cullen!

Emmet, Jasper and Rosalie: I love them all

Esme, Carlisle: they're awesome

Jacob Black: I HATE with with a passion in the books! But the movies...

Victoria, James: I love them, exept for the whole want to kill Bella part...

Laurent: oh my!! he is totally right for his part!

Seth: Aww, Seth.

Leah: I really like Leah

Quil, Embrey, Paul, Jared. And other members of pack: I like all WereWolves exept one CoughJacobCough

Sam: I really like sam

Emily: hmm

Kim: Don't know much about her to like her or hate her...

Clare: Aww

Reenesemey?: She can go sleep in the dog house with her stupid old Werewolf. Yeah that's right!

Fav. Warrior pairs

LeafxCrow: they'd be perfect

SquirrelxBramble: i mean really two cats that STarClan aprove of

SandxFire: Perfect pair

Fav. Silverwing/Darkwing pairs

CarnassialxPanther: it sad that they had to die.

Fav Inkheart/Inkspell/Inkdeath pairs

FaridxMaggie:they are perfect together

ResaxMo: again ...

RoxanexDustfinger: they are perfect

MeggiexDoria: I do not like him

Fav. Twilight pairs

BellaxEdward: perfect for each other

JasperxAlice: hmm

RosexEmmet:perfect

EsmexCarlisle:perfect

JamesxVictoria: they totally go together...it's a shame they had to die...it would be really if they didn't threaten Bella i would feel sad for them

Now that Vancouver will host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? ( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: What, did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary . Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Please send this on to any Canadian (or others) who you think will enjoy it as much as I did.

ADog's Purpose(from a 6-year-old).

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good Life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The Six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Mentally ill test:

x You have screamed at an inanimate object for 'hurting you.'
x You have ran into a glass/screen door.
x You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
x You have thought of something funny and laughed, and then people gave you weird looks.
x You have run into a tree/bush.
x You have been called a blond.

TOTAL: o6

x You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
x You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star had the same melody.
x You have tripped on your own feet and fallen.
x You have choked on your own spit.

TOTAL : 10

You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
x You type with three fingers or less.
x You have accidentally caught something on fire.
You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose.
You have caught yourself drooling.

TOTAL: 12

x You have fallen asleep in class.
x Sometimes you just stop thinking.
x Sometimes when you are telling a story you forget what you are talking about.
x People often shake their heads and walk away from you
x You are often told to use your 'inside voice.'

TOTAL: 17

x You use your fingers to do simple math.
x, =\ You have eaten a bug accidentally
x You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
x You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand/pocket the whole time.

TOTAL: 22

You have posted bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen if you don't.
x You break a lot of things.
x You tilt your head when you're confused.
x You have fallen out of your chair before.
When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture on the ceiling.
x The word "um" is used frequently.
x You don't know what "um" means.
x You say "what" and "huh" a lot.
You plan to use a calculator to multiply your score for this bulletin.

TOTAL: 28

GRAND TOTAL: 28 , O.o

NOW, take your total, and multiply it by 4.
and re-post as: I am -- Mentally ill.
Then tag 10 people to take this quiz after you! ..or not

-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS!

-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.

-You can shatter my heart but I will love you with all the little pieces.

-Trying is the first step toward failure

-A friend would bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying "That was fun"

If you think that Twilight is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

I hate school shootings so here. . .

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school

He told his friends that it was cool

And when he pulled the trigger back

It shot with a great crack

Mummy I was a good girl

I did what I was told

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold

But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye

I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another

And all because he got the gun from his older brother

Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much

And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush

And tell my little sister that she is the only one now

And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best

Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest

Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class

And never to forget this and please don't let this pass

Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this

Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss

And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try

I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry

Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest

But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest

Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack

Mummy listen to me if you would

I wanted to go to college

I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with daddy

On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married

I wanted to have a kid

I wanted to be an actress

Mummy I wanted to live

But mummy I must go now

The time is getting late

Mummy tell my Chris

I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date

I love you mummy I always have

I know you know it's true

Mummy all I wanted to say is "Mummy I love you"

In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "Goodbye."

I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice, and your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.
Now I'm lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood's all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.
I'm sure the guy had no idea,
While! he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell Sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell Daddy to be brave,
And when the breath has gone out of me and I have died,
Put "Daddy's Girl" on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom
I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die, and wish that I could tell you,
I love you, and good-bye


My name is Chris
I am three,
my eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
what else could have made

My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
would still want to hug me.
I can’t do a wrong
I can’t speak at all
Or else I’m locked up
All day long.
When i’m awake i’m all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren’t home
When my mommy does come home
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe ill just get
One whipping tonight.
I just heard a car
my daddy is back From Charlie’s bar. I hear him curse
My name is called
I press myself
Against the wall
I try to hide
From his evil eyes
I’m so afraid now
I'm starting to cry
He finds me weeping
Calls me ugly words,
He says its my fault
He suffers at work He slaps and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And run to the door
He’s already locked it
And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken,
“I’m sorry!", I scream
But its now much to late
His face has been twisted
Into a unimaginable shape
The hurt and the pain Again and again O please God, have mercy!
O please let it end!
And he finally stops
and heads for the door
While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor My name is Chris
I am three,
tonight my daddy
murdered me.


Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endore

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrust the blade
Right into her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Twilight Oath-
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
A simple friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
A simple friend expects to always be there for them. A real friend expects to always be there for you.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen
Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh
Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say "You have seven days to live"
Good friends will help you with your drug problem, BEST FRIENDS are the ones who sold it to you
A good friend will bail you out of jail, a great friend will be sitting next to you in your cell going "We fucked up, huh?"
Good friends dont let you do stupid things, BEST FRIENDS don't let you do stupid thing ALONE

comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.

"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"It‘s a guy thing"

"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Can I help with dinner?"

"Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to "
"I have no idea how it works."


"I cant find it."

"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time…. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!

5. When people say while watching a film “did you see that?”. No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”…. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that’s longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?

A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?

uh, book one of Breaking Dawn! Well, besides the whole preg. part...

Or.

Eclipse...no Twilight it has almost no jacob freaking black

How long did it take you to read the books?

hmm, I read Eclipse, New Moon and Twilight in the course of 5 days. Breaking dawn 1 day.

Who introduced you to the books?

A Lady at the bookstore! I was getting other Vampire books and she recomended them!

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?

bought em all.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?

Midnight Sun. Breaking Dawn is out...or does New Moon count as the movie? Cuz if it does then that one.

What's your dream ending to the series?

Bella bights jacob freaking black and then kills reneseme

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?

ALICE

Who's your favorite vampire?

ALICE

Who is your favorite werewolf?

SETH, Or LEAH

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?

Any part where Edward threatens to kill jacob freaking black.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?

hmm, I liked dinner one in Twilight, When Edward comes back (Bella's house) in New Moon, When Edward tells Bella about his favorite nights Eclipse, and all of book one in Breaking Dawn

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?

hmm...I don't know! Oh wait! When Bella punchees jacob freaking black!

How about your favorite Bella and Alice moment?

all of them I love Alice (in like well, a sisterly way

What was your favorite adventure/battle?

Whenever Edward threatens to kill jacob freaking black

Which book cover was your favorite?

New Moon

Are these books among your favorite books of all?

Hale Yes!

This or That?

Twilight or New Moon?

Twilight

New Moon or Eclipse?

Eclipse

Eclipse or Twilight?

Twilight

Are you more excited about Breaking Dawn or Midnight Sun?

Midnight Sun

Midnight Sun or the Twilight Movie?

Midnight Sun, unless New Moon counts as the movie. then its the Movie

The Twilight Movie or Breaking Dawn?

Twilight Movie

Who do you want to see Bella with most: Edward or Jacob?

have you noticed I absolutly hate a certain Werewolf? so Edward

Who do you like more:

Bella or Edward?

Edward

Bella or Jacob?

Bella

Bella or Alice?

Alice

Alice or Jacob?

Alice

Rosalie or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Alice?

Alice

Jasper or Edward?

Edward

Carlisle or Esme?

Esme

Emmett or Jasper?

Jasper

Emmett or Jacob?

Emmett

Bella or Rosalie?

Bella

Esme or Charlie?

Esme

Charlie or Carlisle?

Carlisle

Charlie or Billy?

Charlie

Jacob or Sam?

Sam

Sam or Quil?

Quil

Quil or Embry?

Embry

Who's the better villain: James or Victoria?

Victoria. James goes and dies in the first book!

Werewolves or Vampires?

VAMPIRES!!

Movie Stuff:

How did you first find out about the movie?

Internet

Are you excited?

Yeah! I totally was

What do you think of the casting so far?

they were awesome

Are you going to go see it?

me did me did

Planning on going with anyone in particular?

Friends

Do you think it will stay true to the book?

it did

Breaking Dawn Speculation:

Are you planning on buying this book as soon as it's out?

i did

Do you think Bella will be turned into a vampire finally?

she did

Do you think she and Edward will get married?

they did

Do you think Jacob might imprint in this book?

he did, now him and reneseme can go die

Who do you think Bella will end up with : Edward or Jacob?

she ended up with Edward.

Do you think it will be a happy, sad, or shocking ending?

Happy. Damn happy endings, though in this one I wanted a happy ending

Who do you think will be the villain(s) of the book this time?

the Volturi duh!

How would you feel about a possible vampire / werewolf cross?

hmm, as long as no jacob freaking black is invlolved I'm all for it!

Will Charlie find out Edward is a vampire?

he did! kinda.

Will the vampires and werewolves continue the truce they had in Eclipse?

they did...kinda

If anyone, who do you think will die in this book?

I want...jacob freaking black to die

For a twist: what would you think if Edward was somehow turned human?

um...how could he?

Do you think Jacob will be over Bella by the end of the book?

ugh, yeah! He needs to stop living in the past

What do you most want to happen in Breaking Dawn?

jacob freaking black and renesme to die

What's your dream ending?

same as above

(A Few Last Things:)

In which book did you like Bella's character best?

Eclipse

How about Edward's?

um, I don't know

Jacob's?

Twilight cuz he was hardly in!

Alice's?

All of them!

If it were possible...who would you most want to meet in person?

ALICE!

1.YOUR REAL NAME: Sianna
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Siaizzle
3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Black Kat

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Paige (No street name!)

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Moesiski

6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): Orange Blackcherry

7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last letter of your moms middle name): Iegyeke (?)
8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Joe
9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black 'Lil Eclipse

16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap!

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right when he lied and told them there was no candy left.

OMC-Since Edward is a perfict angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! (OMC! Carlisle!)

Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hit me.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

"A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking."

"At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote."

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

"Don't criticize my mess unless you'd like to become part of it."

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they fly by."

Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style.

I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you.

Copying from a single source is called plagarism, copying from multiple source is called research.

"Maybe this world is another planet's hell."

"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit, the target."

Do not run in the school hall, gliding is more fun.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.

I like you. When I rule the world, your death shall be quick and painless.

Isn't it funny that the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

I used to care, but I take a pill for that now.

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.

Of course it's in the last place you look for it. Why in hell would you keep looking for it if you already found it!?

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night."

The problem with political jokes is that very often they get elected.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

If your heart was really broken...you'd be dead, so shut up.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?!

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.

You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean that they're not out to get you.

Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you'll be devastated then!

WHAT TO DO IN AN EXAM YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL ANYWAYS:

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if heshe did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

Random Funny Junk (well it's funny to me)

When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

When life hands you lemons, throw 'em back and demand Edward (or Jasper lol)

Don't try anything, oboists carry knives

Save the orchestra...tune the oboes

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

If all the world's a stage, then why do I keep falling in the orchestra pit?

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.


Pointless Things to Copy and Paste into your Profile!

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this to your profile.

If you try to control your thoughts because Edward might hear them, copy and paste to your profile.

If you are a walking, talking Twilight series encyclopedia and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have spent a whole day reading Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, without any food, copy and paste this to your profile.

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volturi" to your computer's dictionary. If you have done just that, copy this into your profile.

If you have so many dreams about Twilight that you have lost count, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself copy and paste this to your profile.

Have you ever tried having a thumb war with yourself?? I have. (I found that I'm a very tough opponent.) If you have just tried having a thumb war with yourself, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you find Spongebob funny SOMETIMES, but most of the time he is SO annoying you want to throw the TV out the window, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you absolutely are TERRIFIED of spiders, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever pulled on a door that said push, or vise versa, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever stayed up past 2 in the morning reading, copy and paste this on your profile. (More like all night! :D)

If random songs pop into your head for no apparent reason, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fan fictions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this to your profile.

Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

People say that I'm weird, but I think that weird is strange, and strange is odd, and odd is different, and different is unique, and everyone is unique, so unique is normal, so therefore I am normal. If the same is true for you, copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this to your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this to your profile.

If you like smiley faces, then copy this into your profile XD

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are reading this line, copy and paste it in ur profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are not sure if you find these 'copy and paste things' annoying or if you love them, copy and paste this on your profile.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Azmanig huh?

Say the word "cow" before each word:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Now say the word "cow" after each word:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Now say the word "cow" before and after each word:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look

Now read from the bottom up:

Cows
About
Talking
Idiot
This
Got
I
Long
How
Look


Why America has some Issues

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'

10. Only in America...do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


Cold is Relative!

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Michigan plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Michigan sunbathe.

40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Michigan drive with the windows down.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes.
The water in Lake Michigan gets thicker.

20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Michigan throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Michigan have the last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die.
People in Michigan close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Michigan get out their winter coats.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Michigan are selling cookies door to door.

40 be low zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Michigan let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Michigan get upset because they can't start their cars

459.67 F below zero (absolute zero, Zero on the Kelvin scale): ALL atomic motion stops
People in Michigan start saying..."Cold 'nough fer ya?"

500 below zero:Hell freezes over
Michigan public schools will open 2 hours late.


TWILIGHT THINGS! XD

I have OCD: Obsessive Cullen Disorder.

I thought I had found my Edward Cullen... but it was just another idiot with fangs.

TWILIGHT: noun, 1. period between afternoon and nighttime 2. the first textually transmitted disease.

Edward Cullen killed Bambi's mom.

I like my men cold, dead and sparkling.

Twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight, twilight. What obsession?

Oh, for Fork's sake.

YOU REALLY KNOW YOU'VE REACHED THE POINT OF NO RETURN, AND ARE TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH TWILIGHT, WHEN YOU WATCH WHAT YOU'RE THINKING, JUST IN CASE SOMEONE CAN HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS.

Lessons Learned in Twilight:
1. You can enjoy the boquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

CULLENISM: my new religion.

WIWAVS: Wishing I was a vampire syndrome.

7 Reasons Not to Mess with Children (small children)

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The te acher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Live as you want to be remembered, for people remember how you treated them more than anything else.
Love fully, for you never know when the one you love will be taken away.
Laugh, for it is the path to healing.
Don't regret making mistakes, for if you do, you may not learn the lesson it brings you.
Make a new friend, for they might be the best friend you could ever have.
You live but once.
Live well.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Love knows no gender, age, or color. If you believe this, copy and paste this into your profile.

Racism is wrong and can often times destroy people's self confidence. It's a horrible and cruel way to treat people. To prove that we are all alike, try this simple experiment: Hold your hand up to a light of some kind. You'll see a shadow cast nearby. Now, have someone of a different race hold their hand up too. You'll see, essentially, the same image - five fingers and a palm. Skin color doesn't matter when you get right down to it. If you are against racism, copy this message.

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, chocoholic4eva, Kyleena

List ten Twilight characters in no particular order.

1. Seth Clearwater

2. Leah Clearwater

3. Alice Cullen

4. Demitiri? of the Vultrui

5. Bella Swan/Cullen

6. Jasper Cullen/Hale

7. Edward Cullen

8. Rosalie Cullen/Hale

9. Emmett Cullen

10. Charlie Swan

1. Have you read a five/ten fic before?

uh, well Charlie is Bella's dad...

2. Do you think three is hot? How hot?

Uh, Alice...I'm female and am not gay or lez or anything like that so no.

3. What would happen if six got one pregnant?

Jasper getting Seth pregnant would probably be hard...and with the fact that jasper is a vamp and seth is a wolf..

4. Do you recall any good fics about nine?

some

5. Would seven and two make a good couple?

Ed ward and Leah? Well, sure

6. Four/eight or four/nine?

I'd have to say Dimitri and Rose

7. What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

ooooh... that would not be good.

8. Make a summary of at least twenty words for a two/six fic.

Leah and Jasper...

Coming to their senses and ignoring the tension between their races Leah and Jasper discover love

9. Is there such a thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

Not that I've heard of

10. Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

Message Giving

11. What kind of plot would you use if four wanted to seduce one?

that is not something I want to read or discuss...EVER

12. Does anyone on your friends list read number seven/nine slash?

not that I know of

1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.

2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5.Do not go out in public.

6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7.Note expressions.

8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9.Floor is slippery when wet.

10.Lake is slippery when dry.

11.Only talk to strangers you know.

12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.

13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.

14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15.Kill them for security purposes.

16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18.The men in white coats are not your friends.

19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.

25.Train army of flying monkeys.

26.Goldfish don't like milk.

27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".

29.People are staring at you.

30.So act insane.

31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.

33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.

35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.

36.Never pet a burning dog.

37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.

38.Naked men dig parkas.

39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40.You know what would look good on you?

41.Immolated cockroaches.

42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43.The size of Danny DeVito.

44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"

48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49.That way is rum.

50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.

52.You cannot kill the snow.

53.The snow can kill you.

54.Grass can also kill you.

55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.

58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.

63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65.Remember to kill HIM...

66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.

70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.

71.Eat the evidence.

72.But not if it's broken glass.

73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75.Disregard last note.

76.Note reactions.

77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78.Stock up on ball point pens.

79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81.Do not stick fingers into blender.

82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.

83.Blood loss is bad.

84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.

85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86.Answer every question with a question.

87.Ask people what gender they are.

88.Note reactions.

89.Refer to people as "mortal".

90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94.Kill them.

95.Brutally.

96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97.Dunk head in boiling water.

98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.

99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

1) Repost this message IF YOU HATE DRUNK DRIVING!!.
2) Ignore it as if it never touched you. have a heart

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Descent into the Emerald Dragon's Lair by MaidenHecate reviews
UNDER REVISION Draco is forced to attend 8th year at Hogwarts following the war, with none other than the golden trio. But Draco has changed. Maybe so has Harry? Eventual Drarry Slash. WARNING Self-harm Abuse Sexually Explicit
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 41,843 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 211 - Updated: 10/23/2013 - Published: 12/11/2012 - Harry P., Draco M.
Bella Uley by TheFlyingWren reviews
Once Edward returns from Volterra, Bella get's a wolfy change in her life. Here comes High School, werewolf style. The twist, Bella's trapped in La Push, with guard dogs, made to go by the name Bella Uley. Now she knows why the Vampires hate the dogs.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 17,339 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 155 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 3/13/2013 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Bella, Jacob
The Pill by Music books horses reviews
I original wrote this story for an English essay about a suppressed society, now I have decided to post it as a Fanfic (my first one, be nice) and see what people think. Basically it is about Dimitri and Rose running away from a society during the apocalypse.It's better then it sounds :) please read. And thank you to RozaHathaway17 for helping me post my first fanfic! :
Vampire Academy - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,335 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/22/2013 - Published: 11/13/2012 - Dimitri B., Rose H.
Annie and The Beast by Soul Meets Soul On Lover's Lip reviews
What if Bella wasn't an only child? What if she had a younger sister and what if a certain Clearwater imprints on her? Can she handle all the drama her sister could and even fall in love? Seth/OC (I'm done with this story, if anyone wants it message me)
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 27,675 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 11/29/2011 - Published: 10/31/2008 - Seth
Bored of Eternity by xx-twilight7-xx reviews
The Cullens, including Bella, are bored out of their minds. There are too many random things to describe. How much fun can you get up to with the Wii, toothbrushes, llamas, evil Jasper, fake blood and much more? Canon Pairings. Extreme OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 48 - Words: 115,332 - Reviews: 1044 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 10/6/2011 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Complete
To Late For Help by Random Freaky Kid reviews
In 1918, Edward and Bella where good friends, until edward got Spanish influenza and Disappeared. after 2 years Bella gets a boyfriend and is going to get married to him, until she is murdered by him.100 years later the cullens come to the house to....
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,640 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 10/15/2010 - Published: 8/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Charlie? Vampire? by CallMeJess5793 reviews
Breaking Dawn. What would happen if Charlie really did shoot Edward, and the motion was more than just a flicker of the fingers, but a grab for the gun. Monologue of sorts. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,563 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/2/2010 - Published: 10/13/2008 - Bella, Edward
Mischievous Dare by Sabyn1993 reviews
Bella Swan is dared to reject every invitation to a date for a week. What happens when Edward Cullen asks her on a date and turns...persistent?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 31,894 - Reviews: 292 - Favs: 124 - Follows: 169 - Updated: 2/8/2010 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Bella, Edward
All Because of A Reese's by Shai Butter reviews
“I will love you forever if you let me have that,” I said suddenly, surprising myself. Edward chuckled. “Is that a promise?” he teased...Forget about Alice, Edward is Bella's new college roommate. What will happen? Is love in the air? Full summary inside!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 56,131 - Reviews: 1746 - Favs: 1,049 - Follows: 630 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 7/28/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
51 Ways to Kill Jacob by CallMeJess5793 reviews
For all of those Jacob haters out there, for the people that want to see Jacob die, in one way or another. you have come to the right place. Hating jacob is a sport here and anyone who wants to see it hear and believe it, is welcome to come on in.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Crime/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,852 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/14/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009
Secrets Don't Keep Friends by KTBass reviews
AH. Everyone has secrets, and Bella Swan is no different. For months she's kept quiet, but the arrival of blunt Edward Cullen forces her to come clean with terrifying consequences. Secrets push friends away, but can honesty bring them back? Complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 87,111 - Reviews: 1410 - Favs: 1,485 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 10/29/2009 - Published: 1/20/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Momma, Why? by Talise Lovela reviews
Syl never asked for anything- and never got anything in return. Horror as in child neglect. T for said neglect.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,609 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/15/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009
Whoops! by callmefall reviews
What happens when Bella gets drunk, and runs into her best friend from high school. Will it be the best thing that's ever happened to her, or the worst mistake she's ever made? AU, AH story. Not the cliched B/E one night stand and Bella gets pregnant.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,169 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 7/23/2009 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Bella, Edward
Someone Wake Me Up by Dancemydreams reviews
After Bella's tragic 18th birthday party, Edward leaves her for her safety. But, what would have happened if he had left more than an agonizing girl behind? What if, without knowing, he had left his own baby growing inside of her?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 63,397 - Reviews: 1922 - Favs: 899 - Follows: 526 - Updated: 7/15/2009 - Published: 1/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Untitled for now by DinoSteph reviews
This story takes place right after Bella's birthday at the Cullens house. Bella doesn't want to put the Cullens in danger anymore, but danger, isn't following them, it's following her, and hurting the people she loves most. Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,959 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 6/20/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Bella, Edward
Bella's Period by My Cinderella reviews
Bella gets her period for the first time in 17 years. How will Edward and the rest of the Cullens deal with this? Set over a course of 7 days, prepare for an adventure to stay alive, Bella!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,101 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 1/24/2009 - Bella, Edward
Sorry by superstargirl818 reviews
What if Edward managed to get Rosalie away in Breaking Dawn? What if Edward had managed to get rid of the baby he thought a danger to his wife? What would this mean for Bella and Edward? Will the Cullens be able to survive their biggest challenge yet?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,157 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 5/9/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Putting Her Back Together by Pearl01 reviews
Edward never comes back and Bella marries Jacob everything is great until Jacob imprints.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 16,082 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 4/21/2009 - Published: 3/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Venom to a Werewolf by Gold Eyed Girl reviews
Set in BD. When Bella finds out Jacob imprinted on her daughter, Seth isn’t fast enough, she bites him, and he dies. Or does he? We all know vampire venom is poison to a wolf, so how is there any other way? Summary sucks, story's better! Please read!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 5,580 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 4/11/2009 - Published: 1/31/2009 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
I Love You And You Don't Even Know It Yet by CallMeJess5793 reviews
"Who are you?" As those words were said I began crying the best way my acting skills would let me. I slipped the ring I had bought for this very moment onto my finger and replied, "I am your wife Edward, I am your wife." AH. AU. Eventual Lemons.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,042 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/8/2009 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward
Bella&Edward by snowystar2 reviews
This is Bella and Edward with out Jacob so it starts at the beach since thats when he comes in.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,380 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/7/2009 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
Come What May by Cabaret Amour reviews
I wont change you, Bella." Edward stated, glaring at her with his most intense look of seriousness. And that was all it took for Bella to decide to go off on a mission of her own. She would return to Edward, just as immortal as he was.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,057 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/24/2009 - Published: 1/29/2009 - Bella, Edward
Ghost by mimigocrazy reviews
Bella keeps hearing inhuman sounds at night. At least once a month, she wakes up at a hospital bed. What happens when she sees a mysterious stranger every time she turns around? Will she survive long enough to figure out who this stranger is? Please Read:
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,501 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Bella, Edward
Random Moments With The Cullens! by MomoLuvsMCR reviews
All the little things too stupid to put in the book, but just stupid enough for me!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 388 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
One Mistake by Lady April of Ohio reviews
What happens when Edward can't stay away from Bella, yet also can't deny the thirst her blood brings? A remake of Twilight. Chapter 7 up. Bella goes hunting.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 16,294 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 1/21/2009 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Goodbye by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
For seven years I watched and waited. But there was only so much that I could put my heart through, and the night I finally told him, was the night I let him go. AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,368 - Reviews: 2518 - Favs: 764 - Follows: 481 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Closer by Elisabeth-l reviews
Jasper comes a little closer to Bella than he is supposed to be, and makes a discovery. 'Alice gave Jasper hope... But Bella gave him humanity.' Will he keep his distance? Js/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,152 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 143 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 1/3/2009 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Jasper, Bella - Complete
Untamed by Kendra1996 reviews
Alternate version of Untamed - I haven't read it yet.
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,931 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 12/2/2008 - Published: 10/17/2008 - Zoey R.
Don't Trust Me by writing love on your arms reviews
“You don’t understand – you can’t trust me,” she said, looking away from my gaze. I held her tightly and said, “Dammit, Alice – I sure as hell don’t know what you’ve done to me … But I do know this much is true: we can’t go back anymore.”
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,828 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/30/2008 - Alice, Jasper
Opposites Attract by secretvampire reviews
Edward is tricked into a poker game by Emmett & Jasper.He loses and now has to hunt the first thing he sees...what happens when that is Bella.Bella is unaware of Edward's Vampness.Canon Pairings!OOC AU E&B
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,133 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/29/2008 - Published: 11/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
It Started With A Shower by Horsewhisperer990 reviews
When Edward and Bella decide to take their relationship to the next level, what will happen when they are rudely interrupted and the adults get involved? Chapter 25 and 26 honeymoon is up!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 45,269 - Reviews: 866 - Favs: 158 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 11/25/2008 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
A Moon in Your Paws by wolf with panther eyes reviews
Set after Sunset: Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight are fighting again. Leafpool wishes they would stop, and when the two cats wake up they discover they've switched bodies. Will they cope with being each other? On Hiatus
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,971 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 10/13/2008 - Published: 7/4/2007 - Bramblestar, Squirrelflight
House of Twilight by mskayla reviews
Bella Swan is 17. She's dating Fork's high football captian. She doesn't quite fit into her life though. She is marked after school and embarks on her new life. She is sent to help Zoey. Cross between House of Night and Twilight. Everything is explained.
Crossover - Twilight & House of Night - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,621 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 86 - Published: 10/12/2008 - Bella, Zoey R. - Complete
Do You Still Love Me? by twilight's-red-moon reviews
Bella is about to get changed. Somthing happens to Edward. Rated T just in case. Really sucky summary. sorry. I apologise in advance if i dont update a ton.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Fantasy - Chapters: 18 - Words: 13,212 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 11/29/2007 - Complete
Breaking Dawn Quote of the Day by hideunspoken reviews
This is a collection of scenes for each of the quotes of the day for Breaking Dawn by Stephenie Meyer.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Supernatural - Chapters: 21 - Words: 7,254 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Complete
Bella's Deepest Desire by krstn7727 reviews
It’s the big day. The day she thought she was so ready for. The time was now, and she thought she could survive the pain…But just how quiet can she be while the torture changes her?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,324 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 7/25/2008 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Complete
I Grow Colder by cinnamonwings reviews
What if Bella really can't live without Edward? Takes place a few months after Edward leaves in New Moon, AU and a bit OOC. Really dark fic. ED and Suicide themes Complete! Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,787 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/24/2008 - Edward, Bella
Forbidden Romance by wolf with panther eyes reviews
Birchkit and Applekit were best friends when they were kits. Now, older and wiser, they meet again at a Gathering. Romance blossums between the two young warriors, but can they really ignore their own Clans and follow their hearts? CHAPTER 16 IS UP
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 15,500 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/10/2008 - Published: 5/29/2007 - Birchfall
Nala by princesstarfire reviews
We've all seen TLK right? well we all know what happened in the jungle but want about the best lioness in the world? the top queen the prettiest feline what happened with Nala? read to find out HAS BEEN RE WRITTEN Sequel up
Lion King - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 25,982 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 3/8/2007 - Nala - Complete
New Life by twilight's-red-moon reviews
This is a one shot about Rosalie and how she always wanted kids. After Bella is turned.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,722 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Complete
The Way Home by birchleaf66 reviews
Found on a night when thunder and lightning crashed at the same time,Misty is believed to be lucky.Escaping from her owners,she heads towards a mysterious place where four clans live,all the while guided by a voice in her head.Who or what is she?
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 7,334 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 9/22/2007
ThunderClan at the Mall by wolf with panther eyes reviews
When ThunderClan go to a mall, cue lots of randomness. Very funny, please read! Includes a Star Wars obsessed Rainwhisker, a very annoyed Squirrelflight, and Hazelkit and Daisy teaching Poppykit and Honeykit how to successfully flirt.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,384 - Reviews: 106 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/6/2007 - Complete
It Must Be Love by wolf with panther eyes reviews
All your favourite warrior couples reveal their feelings for their true loves. Set around different times, I will be updating this fairly regulary. Note: These are actual couples, not couples which could have been. Includes couples from first two series.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Romance/Spiritual - Chapters: 10 - Words: 2,843 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 6/5/2007 - Published: 6/3/2007
A Difficult Path by wolf with panther eyes reviews
When Lionkit surprises Leafpool, it reawakens many memories for her... Oneshot story. My own views on who Hollykit, Jaykit and Lionkit are.
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 449 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/12/2007 - Leafpool - Complete
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Back From Baia reviews
Rose returns from Baia, with no place left to go she returns to the Academy. Will Adrian still want her? Will Lissa even talk to her? And what about Avery...? Who will still talk to her when she spills one of Lissa's secrets? please R&R
Vampire Academy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,774 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/11/2013 - Published: 12/5/2012 - Rose H., Adrian I.
Supernaturals reviews
Villian, a female Werewolf. The only female leader in history. She fights for everything, her life, her pack, even her sister. But will it be enough? Chapter 8
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,065 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 12/1/2008
Dangerous reviews
Bella Swan is in a bad relationship with jacob Black. He fahter is abusing her and her mother is clueless. Jacob is a Werewolf who is overprotective and has his pack watching her everymove. Who can save her?...JxB/BxE Chpt12 is up. Enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 13,649 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 12/20/2011 - Published: 3/24/2009 - Bella, Jacob
Twilight Without One Black reviews
What would life be like for Edward Cullen and Bella Swan if Jacob Black didn't exist? What would life be like for them if Bella never knew he was a vampire until it was to late? Bella would never be in the clearing, wouldn't get hunted. Well lets find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 10,897 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 12/19/2011 - Published: 11/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
UnNamed reviews
Tala is a shifter who gets abused by her father. Very short one-shot. I did it for LA and want to get some opinions on it. Most people didn't like the ending so tell me what you think! POSSIBLE SHORT CHAPTER DETAILING ENDING IF I GET LOTS OF REVIEWS!
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,464 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/2/2010 - Published: 2/24/2010
RIP reviews
The spooky graveyard scene is more real than it seems. There is a girl in the coffin who scares the kids. Then she gets a scare of her own. One-shot. Kind of with Trick or Treat. Same town and the same vamp with glowing red eyes.
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 766 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/1/2009
Trick or Treat reviews
Trick-or-Treat, is a phrase she'll never forget. Dressed as a Vampire one fatefull halloween night she's watching a movie and ends up with the popcorn everywhere and the bowl broken. Nicky Nicky nine doors can be very annoying. Trick or Treat!
Vampires - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,038 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Complete
The not so funny funny story! reviews
This will be an attempt at a funny story. Nothing is as it seems! Beware! Hehe. Chapter two is up...wow....weird.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,972 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/20/2009 - Published: 1/17/2009
Black Pit
Life's a huge black pit once you get involved with the dangerous half of life. It swallows you whole. Fog decends, clouds your senses. Frost nips at your heart, slowing it with each breath. Snow and glass get under your skin, makes you bleed ice.
Vampires - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,540 - Updated: 7/20/2009 - Published: 6/23/2009
Shooting Stars reviews
“Look!” Bella yelled suddenly. I glanced over my shoulder. Eight stars were flying across the sky between a break in the clouds. “That was weird,” Rose commented. “Strange too,” Alice replied. Another crack of thunder sent us racing through the door.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/25/2009
No reason to live reviews
She thinks he doesn't love her. There's something Alice didn't see. Bella kept a big secret from everyone. Edward blamed himself. Charlie agreed with Edward. Edward didn't have the guts. Charlie blamed the Cullens. Black missed Swan. Bella came back.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,939 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/15/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Leafpool Crowfeather A forbiden love reviews
no longer being updated
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 3,797 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 11/12/2007
Kyleena reviews
This HoN story has none of the Main Characters. The main character is Kyleena. no longer being updated
House of Night - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 5,263 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/25/2008 - Published: 10/20/2008
You live, And then you die reviews
this is a one shot story about my cat Frostpelt. I post on Warrior Rp sites, she was my Medicine cat and I was told that she had to retire or be killed. I chose to kill her. Chapter 2 is her brother's final good-bye to hs beloved sister.
Warriors - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 509 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 11/8/2008 - Published: 11/7/2008 - Complete
Poems about Warriors reviews
These are some poems about warrior characters. I may continue to make more. Cloudtail's Fear, Spottedleaf's Love, Brambleclaw's Shadow.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 527 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5/3/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008
Warriors Sing Along reviews
I hope this tittle isn't used by someone else if so please, please, please tell me. I hope you like them.
Warriors - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,047 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 11/27/2007 - Published: 11/22/2007
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