Lace168
hide bio
Poll: How do you plan to go to the Twilight movie? Vote Now!
Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-12-07, id: 1419721, Profile Updated: 05-26-08
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

This is 10 percent luck,

20 percent skill,

15 percent concentrated power of will,

5 percent pleasure,

50 percent pain,

And 100 percent reason to:

Remember the name

Lace

Lace168 here. Proud Twilight addict and fangirl, and newly a Harry Potter fanatic. My Beta, Quil Explodes, is wicked, and a good person to obsess over the hotness of book/movie characters. Boo182 and Spack272 are my partners in crime. I am a proud stalker of one Braden Downing, more commenly known as the Monkey Lord. I am desperatly in love with Jacob Black, Jasper Hale, Fred Weasley, Harry Potter, and Murtagh. There are probably more, but I have a life and don't wish to list them all. So, yeah. Read my profile, and if you disagree with anything, go right a head and stick it in your juice box and SUCK IT! PM me.


Rants

Let's begin, shall we? Er... I COMMAND THEE RANTING ABOUT CEDRIC DIGGORY TO BEGIN! Thus, poor Lace, seemed unable to deny such a direct request and began her animated dicussion, labled: Cedric Diggory: Not Dead

Cedric Diggory is not dead, and I say this with the upmost certianty, for I have proof. See? See here? -holds up copy of Twilight- Edward Cullen. Different names, but the same people. Do you see a difference in their faces? No. Do girls adore both of them? Are they both mindless, cocky gits? Yes. They. Are. The. Same. People. Carve it into your heads and know this to be true: Cedric Diggory lives on, and not just in our hearts as we sob over Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire book and movie. No, he lives on as Edward Cullen.

Cedric is a vampire. Voldemort's curse did not kill him, for he was already dead. It was an act, people. How would it have looked if her survived the Killing Curse? Downright terrifying, might I say!

Now, uh... -points in the opposite direction- LOOK! THAT LITTLE BOY JUST FELL OVER! MOCK HIM! -runs away-

Little Bit of Crap About Me

Likes: stalking Braden, IM, Barnes and Noble, bothering Francis, reading, listening to music, mocking stuff, shiney stuff, really hot boys, coffee, energy drinks, gum, thunderstorms, 1:00 A.M., fire

Dislikes: cocky gits, bubble gum, Braden when he doesn't check his email, pen that doesn't come off your skin, sunlight

Favorite Books: much too long a list

Favorite Music: diddo the books

Favorite Movies/T.V. Shows: diddo the top two

People I Love at Fan Fiction: Spack and Boo!! -hugs self- I loooooooooooooooooooove you guys!!

Read Twilight: 27

Read New Moon: 24

Read Eclipse: 18


Quotes

"Who put crack in my Cocopuffs!" -Me to Boo in the morning inspection my cereal like a mad woman

"OH MY CARLISLE! GIANT NINJA MONKEYS IN PAJAMAS!" -Me in front of my locker just being a moron

"I win! Even if you think that you win you don't because I do in my super awesome power!" -Braden being Braden

"See, I'm weird, which is normal for me but being normal for me is weird which I am normally meaning that technically I'm normal because that's weird for me and I am weird. Get it?" -Me trying to explain to people (Not Boo or Braden) that I am a normal person

"Yeah? Well... I don't have a comeback!" -Me talking to some girl who I really hate but trying to ease things up... didn't work

"EMO GUYS ARE HOT!" -Me walking around Boo's town being a moron

"Hi car!" -Boo randomly waving at a Honda

"So God created people. People say oh my God. I get that. But Carlisle did not create me, some random vampire did. So don't I say oh my random vampire? OMRV! It sooooooo makes sense!" -Me telling Boo that OMC and OMJ are not working for me

"I am a human advertisment for the MONKEY LORD!" -Me during gym

"You know what? I think that emo gay guys are really hot and when they kiss..." -Some girl on my bus

"Mmmm hmmm..." -Me not really pating attention

"I don't know you anymore..." -My friend Francis after I obsessed after this cute guy at my school... NO NAMES!

"I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU SO MUCH CRAP FOR THAT BRADEN DOWNING!" -Me screaming down the hall after he scarred the crap outta me

"Oh, well crap... Hey! Look! A cookie!" -Me on my bus being idiotic to some gay guy named Brandon not to be confused with Braden Downing

"I SUPPORT THE SOUTH CUZ THAT'S WHERE THE CUTE VAMPIRE GUYS ARE!" -Me at lunch talking to this girl who everone calls Fagley who I'm trying to make ammends with because she's letting me sit at her table to get away from this girl

"I find vandilism refreshing, you know." Me talking to somebody or other on the phone

"Ooh! Braden!" -Me when he was walking down the hall

"Holy crap! Edward's gone mad! Save the whales from his abuse!" -On my old bus talking to this guy named Eddie's (short for Edward) brother who had no idea what I was talking about -cough- Edward Cullen. -cough-

"SAVE THE SQUIRRELS!" -Me outside my mother's friends house with her eight year old son

"ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! ROCK ABUSE! I SPOT A ROCK ABUSER!" -Me running around in circles outside my old house when some guy walked by

"It's a... It's a... ITS A DEER AFTER JASPER THREW IT AGAINST A BUILDING FOR KICKING HIM OVER THE HEAD WHEN HE WAS TRYING TO KILL IT AND SCREWING UP HIS AWESOME EYELINER!" Me trying to figure out what a picture was at home for science Sex Ed.

"Mental woman." -Me muttering under my breath about this real annoying teacher who just gets on my nerves.

"That guy runs really retarded..." -Boo when we were watching this animated movie for social studies

"RUN GAY BOYS! RUN!" -Me during gym watching the boys excersizing while I sat out because I was unprepared like the wonderful person I am

"You know, Bella (Liz), why don't you go kiss Jake (Braden)? You know you want to..." -Me talking to an Edward addict in my gym class about kissing Braden who looks just like Jacob Black

"Just suck it up!" -Me on various occasions

"Whoa. I knew that beating up that kid would catch up to me! Look at that bruise!" -Me being stupid to my mom's friend's son

"You know what? Sense Braden wasn't here today he could soooooo be turning into a werewolf! That means that when he comes back to school I'm gonna follow him everywhere because he's obvliously a werewolf now and is attracking vampires who will change me into one of them so I can get a jump on the whole finding Jasper thing!" -Me talking to Boo about Braden

"Yeah! That makes SO much sense! Especially since we have deluded ourselves into thinking that vampires and werewolve are real!"- Boo replying to my comment about Braden turning into a werewolf.

"ASAP is fun to say. It's all ASAP real fast and that's just... VOOM! Fastness. But it's amusing. Like dental floss and fried chicken wings, you know? VOOM!" -Me talking to Liz (Bella)

"Oh, I'm a happy dagger yeah! I'm a happy dagger, yeah! Such a happy dagger yeah! Happy, happy, dagger, dagger, YEAH!" -Boo and I being morons together

"Braden looks sad." -Me

"Yeah." -Boo

"And you know what?" -Me

"What?" -Boo

"I'm gonna go hit him over the head!" -Me

"I think that dude is breaking into Bradens house"- Boo when Boo and I were walking around Braden's house, being stalkers when we saw a guy in black go in

"Daddy, when you win the lottery, can I have a pony?"- Boo asking for a pony she doesn't want

"OW!"- Braden after he was hit on the head by me

"I'm sorry I hit you so hard Lace. But Look! Your ceiling got payback for you by bonking me on the head! Ow!"- Boo after she hit me and then ran into her ceiling, which is a slopey one the you can bump your head on

"Oh, hey, LOOK! That boy just fell over!" -Me pointing at some elementary boy who tripped and fell flat on his face to Boo when I was grabbing a ride with her for no reason whatsoever

"Psst... Braden's hair flows in the wind..." -Me just being stupid

"Guess what? I'm talking to you in my closet!" -Me

"No fair! I wish I had a closet..." -Braden

"I feel like we're being watched..." -Me

"Well we're not." -Boo

-FIVE MINIUTES LATER!-

"Stalkers!" -Braden and Payne

"Told ya so." -Me

"Go away. I hate you. Everyone hates you. You have no friends." -Braden talking to some kid

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2792 - Favs: 571 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
I thought Love was forever by bellaswan456 reviews
I started sobbing, breaking down in tears, Edward came towards me trying to comfort me. “I hate you!” I shrieked. “Get away from me!” Edward accuses Bella of loving Emmet. Bella breaks up with Edward and a relationship with Emmet begins.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 42 - Words: 51,241 - Reviews: 848 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 1/19/2009 - Published: 8/29/2007 - Complete
The I Love Emmett Cullen Fan Club! by Bella's Bff reviews
Emmett decides to make his own fan club! For himself! So he recruits Bella's Bff to be his President! Randomness! YAY! Club is in need of members, so review and ask to join! It's that simple! Hurry and join or Emmett will be mad at me for lack of members!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,126 - Reviews: 174 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 9/4/2008 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Emmett
Sun by Quil Explodes reviews
Jacob's diary for all of New Moon. What he's thinking...even if you don't like Jacob, you should still read it. xD
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,869 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/1/2008 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Jacob
OTD: Obsessive Twilight Disorder by SailorAnonymousZ reviews
Karmina goes to a restaraunt in Port Angeles. Who does she see? Take a wild guess.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,446 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8367 - Favs: 7,484 - Follows: 1,717 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Edward, Edward, Edward! I swear she's a stalker by Renesmee Carlie Cullen Black reviews
Is it just me, or does it seem Bella stalks Edward? Just a little story for fun, please RnR! Not meant in an offensive way, like I said, just for fun.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 5/10/2008 - Complete
Remembrance by XIII Dragon reviews
Please, if you are reading this, whoever you are, find Ella Martinez, give her this book and tell her it's from Iggy. Tell her that I love her. Tell her not to look for me. That it's better if she just forgot about me. Set a couple of years after MR3.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 43,526 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 4/17/2008 - Published: 12/13/2007
What Twilight character are you most like? by Cullenocd reviews
Who are you like the most? Jacob, Edward, Bella, Charlie, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Victoria? Click and find out!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 462 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Complete
When Edward goes Britney Spears by boo182 reviews
What happens when Edward Joins in on a game of truth or dare and Alice 'Dare Master' Cullen decides on his dare? POP QUEEN SENSATION! And... Revenge...This is not another truth or dare fanfic. Although it starts out like that... Rated T for language.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,104 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 3/4/2008 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Complete
What you should never do when writing a fanfic! by tomboyangel reviews
The title explains it all. This a list of things i think you shouldn't do when writing a Maximum Ride Fanfic. Review please.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,062 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/7/2008 - Published: 1/4/2008
Jacob Black Buys a New Pair of Socks by Rhiann reviews
Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 63 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Bella Gets a Puppy reviews
Jacob and Leah are moping. 9 months later, a puppy comes into the picture. Only- You know what? Just read it. This story was given to me by permission from prettypinkbookworm and yayme2012. All rights go to them. -Lace168
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,247 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/9/2008 - Published: 3/12/2008
Emmett's List reviews
What is the worst Emmett could do in an elevator? Read to find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,264 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/9/2008 - Published: 1/11/2008
Manager of:
Community: Whoaishness!
Focus: Books Twilight