velvetheels
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Joined 11-13-07, id: 1420339, Profile Updated: 03-05-13

After reading from an author that my profile made her laugh, I realized I've changed a lot since I wrote it 3 years ago and should update it in case anyone was interested in my unexciting life.

There have been several author's who won't respond to my reviews because they don't know much about me, mostly my age. I guess this is to verify that it is ok that I read M material.

I live in sunny Southern California. I am a stay at home mom and I just kissed my 30's goodbye. It's a little embarassing that at this stage in my life I'm hung up on fictional characters. Upon entering my 40's every health issue that I once upon a time scoffed at has now attacked me in retribution. I'm not able to spend much time on FF anymore and refuse to think about all the great stories I'm missing for fear of a panic attack. At my age that isn't a good thing! My boys are growing up way too fast for my liking and their sarcastic mouths and know it all attitudes really piss me off. My mom says it's payback for the hell I put her through. I have a lot of hell to look forward to, if my boys are like me and/or my old man.

After reading many of these fanfics I wish I could pick one of these fantastic Edwards to replace my boring husband. Aftere 16 years of "til death do you part", I'd love to trade my old model for a 30-45 year, 6'2", copper haired, green-eyed piece of yummy-ness. If wishes came true...

Enough?

Fall asleep while reading this?

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The Diva Diaries by KiyaRaven reviews
*TAKEN DOWN. MANY APOLOGIES.* Dear Diary, When he left, I became numb. Safe in a bubble of denial and bitterness. Now, he's back, and I've agreed to be his co-star in a new Broadway play. Obviously, if there were a Nation of Stupid People, I would be their Queen. A/H
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 26,477 - Reviews: 12857 - Favs: 5,957 - Follows: 5,333 - Updated: 2/19 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType reviews
Cute, trendy Bella returns home to escape the heartache of her past. She immediately befriends neighbors Jasper and Edward, bonding with them in the treehouse out back. Bella and Edward discover they have more in common than they ever dreamed of. AH A/U
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 36,423 - Reviews: 21265 - Favs: 11,735 - Follows: 7,491 - Updated: 2/3 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Bella, Edward
Fan Fiction, Sex Gods and Single Girls by bannerday reviews
After a mortifying first meeting, fan-fiction writer Bella finds new story inspiration in distracting, hot-headed, player-of-a-neighbor Edward. But she shouldn't judge a book by its cover. There's more to him than meets the eye. And she'll probably faint when she discovers who's reading/reviewing her newest fan-fic. Art imitates life imitates art. A fic in a fic. AH/Canon Couples
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 72 - Words: 535,961 - Reviews: 21762 - Favs: 5,869 - Follows: 5,814 - Updated: 6/21/2014 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Maggie by Jenny0719 reviews
A heart leads Bella back home to Forks... and to the brother of the woman who donated it.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 41 - Words: 228,176 - Reviews: 5411 - Favs: 3,877 - Follows: 3,027 - Updated: 10/14/2013 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Our Lives Unbound Extras by theladyingrey42 reviews
Prequels, outtakes, futuretakes from the story Our Lives Unbound. Who knows, maybe someday even some alternate POVs. Maybe.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,986 - Reviews: 522 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 2/23/2013 - Published: 3/3/2011
Secret Sex by erinbatt reviews
Edward and Bella have a little secret...or so they think. A friendship that evolves into a very sweet love story. If only anyone knew about it... AH / Canon pairings.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 366,052 - Reviews: 6243 - Favs: 4,906 - Follows: 3,521 - Updated: 12/27/2012 - Published: 3/10/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Hit By Destiny by ocdmess reviews
Bella wants to die, and almost gets her wish fulfilled when she gets hit by a shiny Volvo. She is left with serious injuries, and the only thing keeping her from dying is the person who hit her. All Human, Rated M for language, dark themes & violence.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 59 - Words: 463,685 - Reviews: 20126 - Favs: 11,782 - Follows: 6,923 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 10/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Breaking Trinity by VvDeadRosesvV reviews
AH/AU ExB Lemon. Mid-Semester, Senior Year. Bella is escaping Arizona and starting over in Washington. An unexpected hook-up at a party in Port Angeles turns into obsession. What happens when desire becomes too much to control? Rated S for Snarling.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 184,871 - Reviews: 6680 - Favs: 4,979 - Follows: 4,839 - Updated: 8/23/2012 - Published: 9/15/2009 - Edward, Bella
Win Some, Lose Some by Savage7289 reviews
Disorder has always been an issue for me - I just can't stand the unexpected. Everything in my life has been turned upside down, and I have no one to turn to. Do I? Quick Fic. EPOV. M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 75 - Words: 108,875 - Reviews: 15141 - Favs: 3,174 - Follows: 2,312 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 3/13/2012 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Biology Project by solostintwilight reviews
Edward's an addict resisting treatment, Bella's a girl who just wants a boyfriend already. What happens when they get paired up for a Biology Project? Bio Lab could get interesting...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 70 - Words: 211,412 - Reviews: 12689 - Favs: 4,044 - Follows: 3,318 - Updated: 6/2/2012 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Merch Girl by walkingwithgiants reviews
Bits and pieces of The Golden Giants Tour's Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,837 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 333 - Updated: 5/29/2012 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Edward
We Need To Talk About Edward by Truly Anonymous Twi Contest reviews
Bella Swan moves into a new apartment determined to rejuvenate her life. However, an overprotective and very dead mother wants to talk about Bella's neighbor who just happens to be her son. Can one spirit unite two lonely hearts? AH E/B
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,484 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 23 - Published: 3/18/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Dear Mr Masen by jendonna reviews
"Error 434: Reprimanding an executive." Life changing or just stupid? Dear Mr. Masen: A story of unauthorized Internet usage, culinary delights and the goings-on at Cullen, Inc. AH, ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 127,500 - Reviews: 12873 - Favs: 7,736 - Follows: 6,177 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 11/17/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Fuggiasco by kdc2239 reviews
Edward, homeless since age twelve is used to the gritty, hard life. Now twenty, his main goal is to make it in the world, and off the streets. What happens when a girl who seems to be broken beyond repair becomes his new shadow?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 36 - Words: 166,725 - Reviews: 5491 - Favs: 4,785 - Follows: 3,026 - Updated: 1/22/2012 - Published: 5/10/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Bad Blood by LadyExcalibur2010 reviews
Edward Cullen was a man who liked order. He arranged his life into neat little segments, exercising rigid control in all areas of his existence. Then one day, all of it was brought tumbling down by one simple question.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 57,319 - Reviews: 2278 - Favs: 2,655 - Follows: 1,037 - Updated: 11/30/2011 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Ride by kris salvador reviews
Bella wanted to fulfill a fantasy - to be groped inside a crowded train. She gets her wish and more, when a sex-starved ex-convict decides she's fair game. ALLHUMAN. Mature but with plot.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 67,524 - Reviews: 4469 - Favs: 7,211 - Follows: 4,162 - Updated: 8/6/2011 - Published: 8/19/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
We Come to Life Beneath the Stars by Lillybellis reviews
As Bella Swan starts over with hopes of finding her future, Edward Cullen is hanging on desperately to his past. She's treading water, and he's a corporate golden boy. They share an office, but few words...until one night changes everything.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 168,711 - Reviews: 5030 - Favs: 5,957 - Follows: 3,718 - Updated: 5/19/2011 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence reviews
Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she'll write her own story. Collab with astilbe13 AH/AU
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 34 - Words: 136,587 - Reviews: 10179 - Favs: 6,202 - Follows: 3,653 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Holding Out For You by ObsessingOverEdward reviews
After her divorce, Bella starts a new life with her son. She soon meets a handsome doctor, who is dealing with his own loss and is struggling to raise his two kids. It's a story of finding strength during adversity and learning to love again
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,793 - Reviews: 18537 - Favs: 7,733 - Follows: 3,715 - Updated: 11/16/2010 - Published: 11/20/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sweet Tooth by MacFlan reviews
Come to Pink Cookie, where porn never tasted this good. Erotic baker, Edward Cullen has a new obsession in the form of Bella Swan. Will his buttercream satisfy her sweet tooth? AH, OOC, Comedy/Romance. Collab between BellaFlan and Mac214.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 37,546 - Reviews: 1368 - Favs: 832 - Follows: 911 - Updated: 11/1/2010 - Published: 8/11/2010 - Edward, Bella
The Blessing and the Curse by The Black Arrow reviews
By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 140,448 - Reviews: 14257 - Favs: 15,330 - Follows: 8,307 - Updated: 9/10/2010 - Published: 5/31/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Bare by stella luna sky reviews
Winner of two Summer 2009 Indies. A beautifully plain girl writes the colors used to unravel a young prodigy of the brushstroke. What color are the eyes that see through the heart? Forest green and their rooted brown. AH/M. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 95,675 - Reviews: 5698 - Favs: 6,477 - Follows: 3,724 - Updated: 8/4/2010 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Rhapsody in B by Lillybellis reviews
When a rising musician falls in love with his small-town childhood friend, can their yearly New Year's Eve tradition bring them together once he rockets to stardom and leaves her behind?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 12 - Words: 87,888 - Reviews: 2922 - Favs: 3,337 - Follows: 1,587 - Updated: 6/13/2010 - Published: 10/7/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Alphabet Weekends by the-glory-days reviews
Bored with their dismal love lives, best friends Edward and Bella come up with the idea of exploring the world of sex using the alphabet for the next twenty-six weekends. What happens when things go from two friends having fun to something serious? AH OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 124,991 - Reviews: 11411 - Favs: 11,122 - Follows: 5,796 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 3/12/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Red Line by WinndSinger reviews
Edward is an exotic male dancer. Bella is a college student studying psychology and needs a subject to do her thesis on. Bella pays Edward to belong to her for 2 weeks so she can study him. Things soon get very interesting between them.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 40 - Words: 351,671 - Reviews: 19475 - Favs: 12,268 - Follows: 5,602 - Updated: 5/1/2009 - Published: 1/26/2009 - Edward, Bella
Exchanging Gifts by McManda627 reviews
Pure Christmas smut. Bella takes Edward's suggestion for his Christmas present to heart and it turns out it's a gift both of them can enjoy. Previously a one-shot, now complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,286 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 12/13/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete