Author has written 9 stories for Gakuen Alice.
Wow. It feels somewhat nostalgic being here. I haven't checked on the fandom for...how long? Since last year? Around September or October? I think it was either the end of September or the beginning of August. I lurked for a bit and I can see nothing has changed. :P A lot of things have happened and that time, I broke away from fanfiction and moved on to something else, although that something else involves writing as well. I can never part from the writing world. Ever.
The sole reason I did log-in fanfiction.net, um, last January I think, or February - I can't even remember anymore - was to delete some of my fics that I've now heavily edited by carefully sculpting out the GA characters, and then converting some of them into an original piece inhabited by relentless, solidified characters ululating me to acknowledge and conceive their existence.
I apologize but, though I am still interested on what would eventually happen to dear cheerful Mikan and our beloved arrogant Natsume, the burning flame I once harbored for Gakuen Alice and for the fandom has died. Hotaru's Sleep Experiment and Persona's Secret Diary are the only fics I would retain since these fics were born from the characters themselves; no other character could take the place of both Hotaru and Persona in those plots. I know readers, those who have been following my stories, have been left in the dark. I'm not expecting you to understand. There's nothing else I can provide to you but a sincere apology. I've been compared to other authors who have their own beautiful writing styles, in bad and worse ways, and seriously, I think it's bullshit. I'll leave it at that. I am totally aware of my writing limitations. Please don't rub it on my face anymore, I'm simply tired of it.
Since I am extremely busy with other projects and obligations, and I don't think I'll be going back ever, this is truly, confidently, a goodbye.
Where I am now, I am very happy. Where I am now, the impressive and artistic people I've met have aided me in my tortuous pursuit of an elusive goal I could have only dreamed about a few months ago. I've become more confident of the worlds I can put into motion, the characters I can give life to. These people helped nurture my creativity, allowed me to see not the surface of a vast blue ocean, but the beautiful landscape and wildlife it holds within.
I salute all the amazing writers out there who, besides writer's block or what-not, had to deal with the farcical thrashing and backstabbing quite typical in this site. I've been through the pathetic beating as well, and it somehow made me defensive in many ways and hampered my own grasp of the true nature of art - a reality I was finally able to recognize after my lengthy vacation. It saddens me how writing has been secretly used for ego inflation, a lackluster breeding ground of jealousy, instead of being seen as a gift you can share with another. All I can do is hope for it to stop.
As for those impressive writers who continue to write in the GA fandom despite all that, I admire you. It's not something I am able to do. Just continue what you're doing. The compliments and praises they give you, take it all in! The constructive criticism you receive, take those in as well. You'll never know what those could bring to you. As for the flamers, you'll eventually get what's coming to you - if not here in fanfiction, then in whatever sorry life you're currently living (or not living).
I'll miss this site, seriously - everything about the fandom, and some of you lovelies who have stuck with me until the end, and of course, my readers. This is where it all started. :) We'll meet again someday, I'm sure. But by then...I won't be the same person, or the same author, you used to know. The stories I've left here won't be my last.
It's thanks to my little brother that I actually came back and wrote this. He's been into fanfiction lately, and he asked me to read his story somewhere in this site which I won't reveal. :P After I did, I checked on this account and saw a few more reviews from readers who were hoping for an update and well, before I knew it, I'm writing this to put an end to this or at least give closure to those I have deserted. The fault is mine for leaving the fandom without warning, but now I'm relaying this notice to you.
Unfortunately, I've disabled my PMs. That's because I won't be checking back here anymore (unless I'm cleaning up something, or planning more deletions). Neither will I lurk to secretly look at what's happening with my account and my old stories like I used to more than a year ago; whatever message you leave would permanently be left unread by me. The e-mail I've used for this account will also be cleaned out and abandoned eventually.
Thank you everyone. I had a great and wild 2 years (or more) in the Gakuen Alice Fandom. Goodbye (unless you're in my YM list or phone address book :P).
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