a little erratic
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Joined 11-28-07, id: 1432335, Profile Updated: 01-18-09
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter, and Twilight.

Rah-Rah-RAMBLING!!

So, I'm just gonna say... I'm not sure if I want to burn Breaking Dawn or put it in a glass case. Honestly, everything was just a little TOO perfect, you know? Like... the whole book there was minimal conflict. YES there was SOME conflict, but yeah. I love Nessie (how could you not?) but it's just a little TOO predictable. i knew as soon as Bella got preggers that Jake would find his soulmate. (sigh) I mean seriously. How many times have i made fun of Fanfics where Bella gets pregnant and Jake imprints on the baby? They're everywhere! But the thing is... They were right! So weird...

FanFic Authors I read rather frequently:

AuthoressMegz: i adore her Family Ties series, and everything else about her!! I have also fallen in love with one of her fictional characters. Unhealthy? Perhaps. Insane? I think not!

Sindie: The Moment it Began is a really great Sev/Lily story.

Mistress of Craziness: Dramione parody is absolutely hilarious. Roast Beef is a work of ubersweetness.

yayme2012: i'm a sucker for a good 'what-not-to-do' fic.

Your Vennela: same as above. 'what-not-to-do'

I'm extremely picky with Twilight FanFic, because most of it SERIOUSLY sucks. Worst things to see in a summary: ALL HUMAN and/or TIME TRAVEL and/or BELLA ABUSED and/or JACOB RAPES and/or BELLAxEMMETT(or JASPER)(or CARLISLE ew).

Actual Books that I like: Harry Potter (duh), and I am actually one of the many Harry-Potter-fans-turned-Twilight-fans (I Edward Cullen), i read ripley's books a lot, some Meg Cabot, some Clique books (i only read those so I can make fun of them. They are absolutely ATROCIOUSLY written. Grammatical mistakes, gaping plot holes, stupid underdevolped characters, has the author EVER even SEEN a thirteen year old girl??) and the occasional Sarah Dessen.


Random things that I could not live without:

Sleeping, comfy sheets sour patch kids,friends my family, writing, ice cream cake, dancing in the rain, governor's camp, Harry Potter books, church camp, puppies, cheerleading, people who write atrocious fanfic (they are FUNNY to read,) track season, cute black guys, the movie Anchorman, Will Ferrel in general, holidays, love, singing, dancing, playing the drums, people with double initials, working toilets,decent books out-of-the-box thinking, BigStar jeans paper, oxygen, snow/sledding, my BFF rose, a computer, my baby brother, laughing,US Weekly, sweatpants,Spandex, hugs, a shoulder to cry on,words of wisdom, chinese food, people who review my stories, Guitar Hero, Facebook,Rupert Grint, The McDonald's dollar menu, DKNY perfume, Stargazer lilies, Edward/Jasper Cullen, Who-Hash, Spider-Pig, showering, Family Guy, the Wicked soundtrack, cute socks!, nice hotels, hot tubs, meeting new people, cherry cordial cookies, RockBand video game, my alex..

Thoughts on Toast

by Briana and I

I hate crunchy toast. -Briana

Toast is ALWAYS crunchy. That's why it's toast. -Me

But I like SOFT toast. -Briana.

Then you like bread, you dork. --Me

But I like it HOT! -Briana.

THEN YOU LIKE HOT BREAD! -ME

Words and Thoughts to live by--

~Save the whales, collect the whole set.

~A day without sunshine is like...night.

~On the other hand, you have different fingers.

~42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.

~Remember, half the people you know are below average.

~He who laughs last thinks slowest.

~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

~A clear conscience is ususally a sign of a bad memory.

~Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

~How many of you believe in physokineses? Raise my hand. (I FINALLY GOT IT!)

~OK. . .so what's the speed of dark?

~When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

~Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

~Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have any film.

~How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

~Eagles may soar, but bunnies don't get sucked into jet engines.

~What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

~I couldn't repair your brakes so I made your horn louder.

~Why do psychics have to ask your name?

~Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

~Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

~Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

I know a lot of people. The most interesting ones I met at a "smart kid" camp over the summer. During that camp, we played an improv game where people write down phrases, other people pick the phrases out of a hat, they do a scene and randomly pull out the phrases and say them. The phrases from the hat are in italics in the quotes from improv below. ENJOY!

SCENE: My aunt Betty just died and Spenser is trying to pick up chicks at the funeral.

"I'm really sorry about your aunt." --Spenser

"Yeah, she was great." --Me

"So, do you want to get out of here and get a drink or something?" --Spenser, in a creepy voice.

"Umm...no thanks!" -- I 'accidentally' run into a pole and lay on the ground dying.

"OH MY GOD! ARE YOU OK?!" --spenser

"Before I die...i have a secret..." --me. and then i die.

"NOOO!!" --spenser. turns and resumes creepy voice, "Heeyy, aunt betty..."

SCENE: Woot and Andrew just found out that Megan is cheating on both of them.

"I never want to see your face again!" -andrew

"Me either!" -woot. he turns to leave.

"WAIT! I have herpes!" --megan. entire group bursts out laughing.

"Oh..i can't leave you, then. that would be rude!" --woot.


I HAVE JOINED THE REVIEW REVOLUTION!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Moment It Began by Sindie reviews
Deathly Hallows spoilers ensue. This story is being written as a response to JKR's comment in an interview where she said if Snape could choose to live his life over, he would choose Lily over the Death Eaters. AU Sequel posted: The Moment It Ended.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 124 - Words: 304,405 - Reviews: 6526 - Favs: 2,728 - Follows: 1,205 - Updated: 10/20/2014 - Published: 8/20/2007 - Severus S., Lily Evans P. - Complete
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2796 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
Nobody Sees Me Wishing by solitaireclay07 reviews
Ivy Bennett was that girl eyeing Sirius Black during their Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. She didn't mean to do it - in fact, she doesn't even like Sirius in that way. She was glad that he never noticed her. Well, in a way...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 163 - Words: 167,364 - Reviews: 5601 - Favs: 1,296 - Follows: 443 - Updated: 9/9/2008 - Published: 3/5/2008 - Sirius B., OC - Complete
Midnight by Shooting.across.my.Sky reviews
Edward's story - Chapter 7: "High school clamor was significantly nauseating. It might actually be better for half of these students to stop thinking. They might just make smarter decisions."
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 60,361 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 8/31/2008 - Published: 10/25/2007 - Edward, Bella
Alice by prettypinkbookworm reviews
We all love Edward and Bella. But what went on in Alice's life, the life she can't remember? This is Alice's story, from her days in Mississippi to the asylum to meeting Jasper and falling in love. R&R please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,475 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 95 - Updated: 6/24/2008 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Complete
The First Day by Rogue12158 reviews
Bella's awakening to being a vampire from Edward's P.O.V.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 746 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 5/26/2008 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8375 - Favs: 7,511 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Moony's Insert Title Here by Em3191 reviews
This whole mess started with a journal? The Journal Remus Lupin got for his 16th birthday is turning out to be more troublesome than he thought. Never mind that Sirius always finds it...cowritten by IndescribablyBee.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,773 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/30/2008 - Published: 8/1/2007 - Remus L., Sirius B.
You're Roast Beef by Mistress of Craziness reviews
Ron tries to tell Hermione how much he loves her the best way he can: with a food analogy. RWHG. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,541 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Strangers by SoEagerForEternalDamnation reviews
Edward and Emmett return to find Alice and Jasper as members of the family. Edward POV.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 973 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Complete
A Complete Collection of Cliché Dramione Plots by Mistress of Craziness reviews
On hiatus. Draco is depressed? Hermione is suddenly HAWT? They have to share a common room? Be Potion partners? Detention? Go to the Yule Ball together? Ohmgee, she's pregnant...? Sheesh, how much more could there be? The answer: tons. DMHG... sort of...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 37,206 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 1/27/2008 - Published: 7/20/2006 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Forever by Lee363 reviews
My version of what's going to happen in Breaking Dawn. Warning to all Jacob lovers. BTW I DON"T OWN ANYTHING BUT MY OWN CREATIONS, belongs to Stephenie Meyer. R&R! First fanfic so please be fairly nice! COMPLETE! YAY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,202 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 1/25/2008 - Published: 12/28/2007 - Complete
BANANAS! by HarmoniousPie reviews
BxExBanana. JacobxOC. Bella and Edward have gotten married and Bella’s been turned. Suddenly the unthinkable happens. . . . . Edward is changed from a vampire to a Banana! See what happens. My fic for yayme2012's challenge
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 500 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/24/2008 - Complete
Trippy Bella by EdwardIsMyLover reviews
Mike drugs Bella at a party, but the Cullens rescue her. This is a night at the Cullens with an undertheinfluence Bella as they try to keep her out of anything lifethreatening. How will they fare?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,660 - Reviews: 624 - Favs: 539 - Follows: 220 - Updated: 1/14/2008 - Published: 4/9/2007 - Complete
Trippy Bella: UNLEASHED by EdwardIsMyLover reviews
Sequel to Trippy Bella. Bella has been declared insane. The Cullens think its bad enough in their own house, but what if she is unleashed on the unsuspecting folks of Forks? How will they fare now?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,423 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 215 - Follows: 253 - Published: 1/14/2008
Under Arrest by vjgm reviews
Add on to Family Therapy. Want to see what the Cullen kids did to get arrested and make Carlisle's Book of Shame? Read on! If you have not read family Therapy Cullen Style, this will not make sense.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,083 - Reviews: 698 - Favs: 1,071 - Follows: 294 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
When I'm Lonesome by AuthoressMegz reviews
Beginning while the trio are on the run during DH, ending shortly after the defeat of Voldemort, this story takes you through the feelings between Ron & Hermione as their relationship develops. Based on the song "Broken" by Seether.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,055 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/4/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Andromeda Tonks and Molly Weasley by LauraWalden reviews
A collection of short snippets from Andromeda's POV after the war.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,074 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/1/2008 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Andromeda T., Molly W. - Complete
Kiss Me by Iron Angel 80 reviews
This a story of the days leading up to Bill and Fleur's wedding from Hermione's POV
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,687 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/1/2008 - Hermione G., Ron W. - Complete
Lily Evans by Amaranth O'Riley reviews
Single sentences, describing the one and only Lily Evans.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Lily Evans P. - Complete
PS Date me, or Else by Mistress of Craziness reviews
If there's one thing James wasn't good at, it was writing a decent love letter. But with a little help from Sirius, he just might be able to pull off one of the worst pieces of crap Lily ever had the misfortune to read. Slight LEJP. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,164 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/30/2007 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
10 Ways To Annoy Edward and Others by harryedwardgirl93 reviews
I first started with 10 Ways to Annoy Edward but I got a lot of people who liked that list so I have now decided to do ones for other characters too! There is currently a Edward, Jacob, and a NEW Bella list!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 751 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 12/28/2007 - Published: 12/21/2007 - Complete
The Holly Jolly Cullens by librina reviews
Bella celebrates Christmas with the Cullens. What could go wrong? humor BxE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,549 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 12/23/2007 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Complete
From Boys to Men by greenikat89 reviews
Oneshot, MWPP: Remus did not expect to spend his coming of age birthday hungover and locked in a Muggle jail without his clothes. This was entirely Sirius' fault.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 696 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/15/2007 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
The Story Of Bellatrix Lestrange by sacredpotatoe90210 reviews
Bellatrix turned around to face Molly Weasley right as the bright green curse slammed into her chest. Right before Bellatrix dies, she recalls her past, growing up as a Black. R&R! Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 65,173 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 12/8/2007 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Bellatrix L., Voldemort - Complete
One's True Self by Mistress of Craziness reviews
Colin's making a photo album, and still needs Luna's picture. Slight LLCC. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,798 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 3 - Published: 11/23/2007 - Colin C., Luna L. - Complete
Why We Shouldn't Meddle by Nari-chan SND reviews
Mary Suewriter is a normal teenage girl... until she writes a fanfiction involving a Sue who destroys the Potterverse. She is then punished by being thrust into the books to see what would really happen if someone showed up with all the answers. R&R!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,753 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 10/29/2007 - Published: 9/2/2007 - Complete
Dear Diary by Alice laughed reviews
Quil gives a diary to Claire for her 10th birthday. What's it like growing up with a werewolf protector? See their relationship grow through her eyes. Now complete.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 53,578 - Reviews: 1468 - Favs: 1,032 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 10/27/2007 - Published: 10/6/2007 - Complete
Padfoot's List of Dating NoNos: 101 by CaramelBoost reviews
Remus is sick and tired of hearing girls complain about Sirius' lack of dating manners and curtsey, as well as appalled at his friend's vulgar attitude, and so comes up with a list. A list of things Sirius is banned from doing on his dates. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,452 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 11 - Published: 7/24/2007 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
The Wait by Delano reviews
JPOV. Jasper's thoughts while Alice and Bella are in Italy to save Edward. Oneshot.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,547 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 142 - Follows: 24 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Complete
A Sirius Detour by RemusSiriusJames reviews
Oh boy. James is driving a car. Join him, Sirius, Lily and Remus on a thirty mile journey home which contains of firstaid kits, traffic jams and a very bored Sirius. James may be driving the car, but Sirius is driving too Driving everybody absolutley mad.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,877 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/5/2007 - James P., Sirius B. - Complete
Sleeping Beauty by sillybella reviews
Post New Moon Edward angst. Charlie arrives while Edward and Bella are watching a movie. Bella has fallen asleep in Edward's lap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,709 - Reviews: 362 - Favs: 868 - Follows: 138 - Published: 11/14/2006 - Complete
The Bathroom by greenikat89 reviews
Oneshot, MWPP:Peter hears an earful and cowers in fear wondering what is going on behind the door. Is someone just showering or is something much, much worse going on?
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,147 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Published: 7/8/2006 - Peter P., Remus L. - Complete
Harry Potter and the Shameless Parody by SusieQ1 reviews
Be afraid, be very afraid
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,339 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/14/2003 - Published: 4/17/2003
Lily, Fly Away by Cinnamon reviews
A poem about Lily seen through Voldemort's eyes . . .
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 255 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/1999 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

10 Things: Twilight Style reviews
Lists of 10 things such as: 10 Things the Volturi Frequently do, 10 Things Edward Does while Bella Sleeps, and 10 Cullen Nicknames! Which Twilight character bought a Snuggie? Find out in Ch. 7! Companion to 10 Things: Harry Potter Style. More to come!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,076 - Reviews: 404 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Aro, Bella
10 Things: Harry Potter Style reviews
Series of lists of 10 Things. Such as 10 Things you Shouldn't Say to Voldemort, 10 things that would instantly let people know that you read waaay too much Harry Potter, 10 Devastatingly Overused Plotlines, and more!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,407 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Voldemort, Harry P.
Harry Potter: Hero or Hothead? reviews
A wrestling ring in the Great Hall? People randomly dying and returning? Malfoy obsessed with lip gloss? And WHO is Chauncy? These questions and confusion shalt all be cleared up. All you have to do is click the little blue words above this summary. DO IT
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,799 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 12/19/2007 - Harry P., Cho C.