Switz for Kaleigh
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Joined 12-01-07, id: 1434550, Profile Updated: 04-16-08
Author has written 5 stories for Twilight.

Hello everyone. As you can probably tell by my avatar picture thingy, I'm in love with the Twilight series. Edward is wayyyyyyyyy better than Jacob. I think I'm the only Edward lover that doesn't hate Jacob with the passion of a thousand burning suns. Or want him to go die in a hole with McClellan. Or throw him in a lake. Or off a cliff. Or into the fiery depths of hell. Oh, and if you want to know how obsessed with Twilight I am, Edward introduces himself on page 43 in Twilight, and leaves on page 73 in New Moon, and comes back on page...wait, damnit. i forgot, (runs to room to pull book from nightstand)...here it is, page 451!! Aren't you proud of me?? Well, Bella sees Edward on page 451, but he doesn't actually talk until page 452. Never ask about my favorite quotes because I have too many; at least 20 quotes per book, that's a total of 60-ish. And it'll be more when the next book comes out!! So, well, my friend told me about this site, and it's really (fill blank with approiate word) . hehehehe It may be hard to believe, but I crack myself up. I'm serious, I think the stupidest things in the world are absolutely hilarious!!So, yeah, this is named for my friend, Kaleigh. I don't think she's posted anything yet, but I'll tell you when she does. And Kaleigh, when you read this, my name is Switz, not yours, I claimed it first, so there!! I'm sticking my tongue out at you but you can't see it so there's really no point but I'm doing it anyway!!

ummmm...anything else about me...I love math, Acadec and goldfish...I'm the smartest dumb blonde you ever did meet(or in this case read about)...I hate Union General George B. McCllelan...I play soccer...Broncos are the best, so shut up raiders fans(see, I didn't even capitalize it, take that!!)...I'm a self proclaimed nerd...parents divorced...favorite color blue/green and topaz/onyx...taco bell and sizzler are the best places to eat in the world..."I'm a good girl, with a lot of really bad habits."...that's it. I shall make the list longer when I think of more pointless stuff to add.

Have a super fantastic overly joyful absolutely funerific day!!


p.s. I'm just as crazy and insane as this bio leads you to believe :)))

If you cried when Edward said that he preferred brunettes, copy and paste this to your profile.

92 of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are part of the 2 who would stop breathing because you were laughing so hard, copy and paste this to your profile. (Seriously, Abercrombie and Fitch stores scare me.)

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are an obsessed, love-struck stalker of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever forgotten how to spell or misspelled a word less than 5 letters, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have read Twilight four or more times, copy and paste this to your profile. (i lost count after 8)

If you make all A's yet still know nothing at all, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've read other people's profiles looking for something to copy onto your profile, then, well, you know the drill.

If you have ever caught yourself blocking your thoughts so Edward Cullen won't hear, copy and paste this to your profile.

There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

If you can read this message, you are blessed, because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
-I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile!

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Emmett's Guide to Survive High School by TheBoleynLegacy reviews
With these tips invented by Emmett you are guaranteed to survive the most agonizing, miserable and painful years of your life, otherwise known as high school.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 58 - Words: 21,809 - Reviews: 325 - Favs: 140 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 1/5/2016 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Emmett - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13072 - Favs: 6,103 - Follows: 2,791 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
So in love, So very in love by NormalIsTheWatchword reviews
Edward is not at all broken over his breakup with Bella. He is madly in love with Jacob, who has imprinted on Edward. And Bella wants revenge! She acts on impulse and they all go on Oprah. Pretty ridiculous actually. JEDWARD!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 6,155 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Edward, Jacob
The New Year's List by E.C. Cullen reviews
BxAxR come up with a list of things to do before 2008 ends. Bella is in for a wild ride with her two best friends and Edward just happens to be there every step of the way. Crude/sexual humor, all human. ON HIATUS.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,826 - Reviews: 587 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 458 - Updated: 7/21/2009 - Published: 3/22/2008
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 802 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
Big Bad Bella by crooked-little-smile reviews
It's been 250 years since Edward left Bella and she has changed a lot. She has a new outlook on life and when she decides to go back to Forks her new family goes with her. When she finds the Cullens she has to prove she's not scared little Bella anymore.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 15,134 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 6/21/2009 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete
One Year in Heaven's Hell by hellopants reviews
This is the sequel to The Curse of the Smiley. It will make no sense if you don't read Smiley first. Our little Oren is teaching Edward and Bella a few new tricks! Read and enjoy!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 68,043 - Reviews: 1995 - Favs: 1,241 - Follows: 1,177 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 3/9/2008 - Complete
The Curse of the Smiley by hellopants reviews
Bella and Alice love life at college, they are best friends and have a great apartment. Then Bella finds out she is pregnant from a one night stand with Alice's cousin.. Edward! Rated M for chp 17! I do not own twilight or the Characters, all human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 71,459 - Reviews: 1739 - Favs: 2,419 - Follows: 794 - Updated: 5/13/2009 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Darkest Night by AnnieEm reviews
Even though Edward thought he had a good reason for leaving Forks and Bella after her 18th birthday, leaving Bella was harder for him than anyone realized. This is Edward's version of what happened when he left.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 42,615 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 1/20/2009 - Published: 12/26/2007
La Tua Cantante by Ephemeralityx reviews
Right after Edward leaves, Bella gets into a car crash. She has amnesia and does not remember anyone at all; not her family, not her friends, and not even her soul mate. Will Edward continue to stay away and let her live a normal life as he wanted her to?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 16,291 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 87 - Updated: 8/24/2008 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Edward, Bella
In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart by An End Has A Start reviews
They’re from two different worlds but are brought together by a school exchange program. Three months at his school, three months at hers. They’re fighting each other and temptation. All Human. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 92,136 - Reviews: 2092 - Favs: 1,805 - Follows: 769 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Monster and Man by KlutzLike Bella reviews
Have you ever wondered why Edward ended up in Bella's rocking chair the first night he stayed with her? What he was thinking the next morning? What his family thought of her? And the baseball game? Will eventually go through the end of Twilight. Hiatus.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,581 - Reviews: 211 - Favs: 112 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 6/6/2008 - Published: 1/2/2008
Bridesmaids revisited by linnybug reviews
Bella and Edward meet again after six years, at Alice's wedding in England. Will they realize the feelings they have for each other? All Human. I won't make promises of lemons, only innuendos :-P BTW, I don't own anything...just thought I'd add that...
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 69,146 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 242 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 5/28/2008 - Published: 4/25/2008 - Complete
Tyler's Tricks by Child-Of-God13 reviews
Sequel to 'Impressing Bella.' Mike wasn't the only one who had his eyes on Bella...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,054 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 81 - Follows: 19 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Complete
Impressing Bella by Child-Of-God13 reviews
This is for Irish Froggy s Mike challenge. Mike tries to use his 'skills' to impress Bella. T for mild cussing. one shot
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 899 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/28/2008 - Complete
Professor Swan by Mademoiselle-Carl reviews
Bella was changed, but not by Edward. A mistake, a misunderstood situation, resulted in their separation for 25 long years. What happens when Edward unknowingly enrolls in a college course taught by none other than Professor Bella Swan? BxE. ON HIATUS
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,583 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
Illusions Of Love by IamSwitzerland31 reviews
New to posting fanfiction! Would like help! Alice is a woman scorned by love. She is a pixie and can hear your heart's deepest desires, most private secrets, and read your mind. She decides to spice up the live of four fellow students...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 299 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/23/2008
Ridiculous things the human Cullens do by tortgirl reviews
A series of one shots of the Cullens before they were vampires, first up is Alice.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 3/22/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008
Hitched by Nollie Marie reviews
What happens here, doesn't ALWAYS stay here. It took Bella one cheating ex-boyfriend and a few drinks to find herself married to Edward Cullen, who is handsome, weathly, and isn't about to let her go that quite easily. Please R&R. /Slightly OOC?/
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 65,289 - Reviews: 3606 - Favs: 4,934 - Follows: 1,426 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 11/16/2007 - Complete
Having Faith by G0THIC G0DD3S5 reviews
Edward Cullen is an athiest, Bella Swan is his guardian angel. She wants to find love, but is sent to earth to help Edward find his faith.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,784 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 3/1/2008 - Published: 2/1/2008
Enchanted by IamSwitzerland31 reviews
Kinda related to twilight. not really though. just there. Read and Review Please! i would love to know how it looks to someone else.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 95 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Complete
Bite Me by IamSwitzerland31 reviews
Twilight-ish! It's not about twilight, it just reminded me about Twilight. Had to write two poems for Advanced English and this is what I came up with.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 91 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Complete
Stranger Than Fiction by Aspen-SiredBySpike reviews
It was a normal night at the book shop until this guy came in. "Who's Edward?" He wanted to know. I answered him, not knowing why he would need all of this info on a fictional character. Why? For love... Or was it lust? Based on a true story. Seriously.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 459 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/9/2008 - Complete
The Preferences of Edward Cullen by vivid tangerine kitsune reviews
A crackfilled songfic oneshot. Please don't read if you're an extreme Edward fangirl. R&R, please.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,291 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/30/2007 - Complete
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Life As A Musical reviews
“Since I'm stuck in the freaking janitor's closet listening to yet another stupid love song, I guess I might as well tell you a story...it has to do with Edward and Bella...” Full Summary inside. At least 2 songs a chapter! R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,158 - Reviews: 11 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/5/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008
Tutoring For Bella reviews
Edward attempts to tutor Bella in chemistry. Funny hilarious to me , with a good twist at the end. One shot, for now. if you're nice i might continue. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,185 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Edward, Bella
Cowering On A Rock reviews
from Bella's point of view, sort of.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/3/2008 - Complete
Dear Moon reviews
Another poem! This one is also Twilightrelated, so please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 89 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Complete
Those Three Little Words reviews
This is a poem about love that has to do with Twilight, no it's not sappy. I don't know what else to put, so please read and review!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 141 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 12/27/2007 - Complete