Haseoxth
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Joined 12-08-07, id: 1440328, Profile Updated: 03-10-09
Author has written 5 stories for Bleach, Fullmetal Alchemist, Code Geass, Anedoki/あねどきっ, and Castle.

Time for a glimpse into the mind of a man who needs to be put in a straightjacket.

Uhh... I feel like I'm making a profile for eHarmony or something. Uhhh... Hi, I have a penis. I work at a strip club full-time, thou I keep my clothes on. I like cats. I like manga. I'm a leo. I dont like long walks on the beach. I live alone. I'm single. Heterosexual. I like to write.

How smexy I Am

Well, am six feet tall. Why do they say tall. Six feet isnt tall. I feel short. Well, I have long dark black hair,wavey a bit, with random highlights in it. Tan skin(Im puerto rican...) with blueish greenish eyes...I wish, they are dark brown, I just were blue green contacts...Im not gonna lie and say that Im of male model body type...Im a little on the plush side..A little. Not so much that I cant show off me abs at the beach. Or that I have to wear a sports bra during PE(looks at Jimmi and laughs). I wear a size 14 shoe...Yes...My feet a big.Thats enough about how smexy I am...

Resume-ish thingy

Name: Well...Thats something for the government to find out...

Age:18...for now.

D.O.B.: August 14, 1989

Gender: Male

Race: Puerto Rican(WE DA BEST!!)

Height: 6'0

Religion: Pfft...I am religion. Worship your...GAWD.(seriously thou,a very non-observant Catholic.)

The Favorites

Anime: Uhhh...Something thats funny...And has to have good art(Shin Chan is the only exception.)Like Bamboo Blade,Genshiken 2,Bleach,Fate/Stay Night,Elfen Lied,Afro Samurai,TheBoondocks,list goes on.

Video Games:FF series, KH series(except for Coded. i know it hasnt come out yet,but still, a game for your phone.Did anybody play Lost Chapters:Dirge of Ceberus?Thought so.It sucked that hard.), BloodRayne, Metal Gear Solid, Metriod Series, Guitar Hero, Zelda...List goes on.RPG's mostly.

Movies: Well...Ummm...Pirates Of the Carribbean movies. Star wars, Any Will Smith Movie. Any Johnny Depp movie, The Green Mile, The Pursuit of Happiness FF:AC...List goes on.

Music:This is like the least constant thing in my life. Alot of Rap,Rock,some metal,and J-Pop/Rock.

Pairings:Uhhh...Zutara(In my defense,my friend made me put this here under pain of no food the next time i go to her house.)Naruko X Sakura(Its just weird but sooo sexy.)YoruIchi(it will happen OK)Haseo xAlkaid(just to piss of Atoli)...uhhh...Again,List goes on.

Colour(s): Black and Blue,but to balance that out and not get me shot, Red and White.

Not so favorites

General: Uhhh... Most dudes would say Yaoi. But me? I meh it. OHOH , you know your yaoi sucks when straigh guys watch it and say it sucked. Oh, I hate it when people text me with stupid chain letters while the sun is up. I WORK NIGHTS OK! And lag switchers on GoW2. ANd people fucking with my paronoia. Yes, I have a mild case of paronoia. Its what Rorchach is my favorite comic book character and why I'm trying to devise a way of killing Dr.Manhattan.

More on me when ever I feel like letting you guys in on the insanity.

Personal Nags.

Ok,one thing that pisses me off is (and I just found this out when I put of the my first story.) when people ask me when the next chapter is up.

Chris: You finished the next chapter?
Jordan:No.Not even close.

Chris:Why not?
Jordan:Because.

Chris:Why?

Jordan:Its not that easy to write ok.

Chris:Whats so hard about it?

Jordan:I know it looks easy, but you have no Idea how hard it is to write two people doing it.

Chris:Its not that hard. "Inserts, hump hump, bam, im done."

Jordan:throws lap top at chrisYou write the next chapter then.Dick.

Another thing is me not being able to write a lemon.Why?I can picture it in my head, but when it comes down to putting it into words, hell no.Its not gonna happen.That pisses me off.When my brain doesnt work, everything goes to hell. Makes me wonder if brains have a union.

Also, when i go to the book store, and am looking for a specific manga, and its not there for like three months (Rave Master,Im looking at you.).WTF. You say "Out Blah Blah Blah." But how come it takes me 3 months going to nine book stores to find it?Grrr...

Knock the Ramen and your dead. My mom made that mistake when she visited my apartment once, and she got a thirty minute rant. Ramen is the greatest gift that can be given. Be grateful someone shared it with you.

Ok, so I am walking down the street with a few boken. Dont ever say "Oh, I bet I can kick your ass." No.You can. I bet you cant. The only reason you say that, is because you think Im going to keep walked, not stop, hand you one, and proceed to kick you ass on the sidewalk and keep going with my merry day. I hate it when people say shit they cant ever back up.

Trolls,enough said.

Reality shows on BET and MTV. Thier scripted, we get it. They suck. Get people who can act like they just keep up with the words, not someone whose reading off a tele-prompt.

People who ditch me. I was gracious enough to give you a ride to the con(for example) So you might as well be gracious enough to spend the most part of it with me.(Eyes said person) Cosplayers arent a important as your brother.

Cosplayers.Wait until Shunsei Kyoraku comes and kicks Clouds ass at Florida Super Con 2008.

Seats that make your ass hurt. Like the one Im in now. I cant stand this thing. Too cheap to buy a new one.

Yaoi fan girls. I cant cosplay with out a girl coming up and taking my picture(not that I mind) Then asking me if I can kiss Gin(the dude I came with) and she can take a picture of it. FUCK NO.I AM SO NOT KISSING A MAN!!The Matsumoto running around somewhere maybe.The Simca at Yasumi-Con, Oh yea. The Pikachu at every con I go to, you have no idea. But Gin, The dude ive known since diapers. Hell No.

Mean Drunks. If your going to fight me drunk, well... Go ahead...You wont remember your girlfriend laughing at you while your on the groudn puking your guts out after i kicked you in the stomach.

The Nuh Uh person. I hate it when I say I did something, and then that one beaner comes outta nowhere and goes "Nuh Uh."

My Zune. I have no clue what happened to it. But since I dont have stereo(meaning I can hear outta both earbuds) It really pisses me off.Especially when I dont have a radio in the car.

The people at my job. (I work at a strip club) I hate it when people ask me to help them with something that has nothing to do with me. "Let me get a beer"... Im holding a dustpan and broom, what part of this makes you think am your waiter?

My old boss. The guys a douce. I quit on him because he told me I was making everybody miserable even though nobody has said anything to him about me. And that the only reason they dont is because the feel sorry for me.Well hey, I dont wanna work for someone who feels sorry for me.

Shadowmods, enough said.

Hmmm...More ranting later...

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

How About A Romance? by B L Roth reviews
When Kate teases Castle about how simple writing must be, he challenges her to write something for him. She accepts and decides to shadow him for a couple days at the loft.
Castle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 12,778 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 5/26/2012 - Published: 5/4/2012 - Kate B., Rick C.
Waiting Game by muppet47 reviews
If this was what really being in love felt like Kate wasn't sure she was going to survive it. Not like this was news, but obviously something was seriously wrong with her. Winner of FanFic: Best Humor in the 2012 Castle Fan Awards
Castle - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 53,129 - Reviews: 681 - Favs: 568 - Follows: 447 - Updated: 5/6/2012 - Published: 10/25/2011 - Kate B., Rick C. - Complete
The Art of Sex Appeal by MetalChickCrisis2040 reviews
When Ichigo’s sexual frustration gets in the way of his fighting, its up to Yoruichi to help relieve him of said stress. Who knew venting could feel so good? Mature Content. Yoru/Ichi.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,652 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 11/3/2009 - Published: 11/1/2009 - Ichigo K., Yoruichi S. - Complete
Cold November Rain by MetalChickCrisis2040 reviews
When Yoruichi becomes a Vizard, all hell breaks loose. Can Ichigo save the woman he loves and their relationship? Or will fate have its own plans for them? Somethings just aren't meant to be, or are they? Complete.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 42 - Words: 82,551 - Reviews: 437 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 5/31/2009 - Published: 9/20/2007 - Yoruichi S., Ichigo K. - Complete
Hey, Colonel Mustang by Masta of da House reviews
My parody of 'Delilah'. I've been told it's good.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 408 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/4/2009 - Roy M. - Complete
Graduation by Lowrider reviews
It's graduation day for Tomoyo's younger brother Takafumi. As she prepares for a fun and exciting day with her family and her longtime boyfriend, Tomoya, she has no idea of what's actually in store for her later. TomoyaxTomoyo one-shot fic.
Clannad - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,836 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/19/2009 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Reactions reviews
Post Always: Its the morning after. What's every ones first reaction and thoughts to the new and long overdue couple? POV from Alexis, Beckett, Castle, and Lanie.
Castle - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,602 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 10/6/2012 - Published: 6/5/2012 - Complete
Four Years Later reviews
Based on the Ane Doki "Sequel". Its been four years since Kouta moved away. Four years later, he comes back, but how different are things? nd is that one person still waiting for him? One Shot, but may continue
Anedoki/あねどきっ - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,085 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/25/2010 - Complete
The New Roommate reviews
After returning from his rescue mission in the Soul Society,Ichigo just wants to relax,but an unexpected roommate turned lover and now the threat of Aizen make it impossible.Ichigo X Yoruichi.Rating for later Chapters.Chapter 8 UP, Ch9 in the works.
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,884 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 1/13/2010 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Ichigo K., Yoruichi S.
The night after reviews
Leleouch slept with C2, Kallen and Shirley... All within 24 hours. Now he has to make sure that none of them find out about one another in a comedic fashion. Rating for the implied stuff.
Code Geass - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 493 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/23/2009
Spark reviews
Ed has always had some type of feelings for Winry. He didn't know what kind of feelings they were until the night they left home. Now he has to deal with these problems while still trying to find a solution to his own. EdXWin.Chap2 up. CH3 in progress.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,039 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/17/2009 - Published: 5/3/2009 - Edward E., Winry R.
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