"Can I borrow your confidence?" I asked him.
He laughed softly. "Sure, kid. Any time you want."
("Take His Heart" by BookwormBaby2580)
So...I thought it was time to change some things here.
As you can see, I'm an avid reader, while not writing any stories...I just don't have the patience nor the imagination necessary for even a one-shot.
Favourite Authors - at least some of them:
amitai: She's got the most amazing Alex Rider fics you've ever seen. Go check her out!
danAlwyn: is the only author whose Digimon fanfiction I've read - the Acts of War series is absolutely amazing!!!
prone2dementia: I think I have 90% of her stories in my favourite list...yes, she is that awesome!
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull copy this into your profile
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey. (Paste this in your profile if you just laughed!)
If life gives you lemons, throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile
If you think some people must be on suger highs when they write their stories copy and paste this into your profile.
Give a person a fish, you feed them for a day; Teach a person to use the Internet, they won't bother you for weeks.
If someone says there are a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if someone says that there is wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I also didn't want to do this, because I don't want you all to know what my real name is, but...
1. Your real name: Psh- I just said I'm not telling you!!!
2. Your Nobody name (Take all the letters of your first name, mix them around and put an "x" where you think it should go): Ruxala
3. Your Gangsta name (the first three letters of your name plus "izzle"): LaWizzle
4. Your Detective name (fav. color and fav. animal): Orange Cat
5. Your Soap Opra name (your middle name and the street you live on): - Rauch (I don't have a middle name...)
6. Your Star Wars name (first three letters of your last name, first two letters of your first): Woila
7. Your Super Hero name (2nd fav color, fav drink): Black Sprite
8. Your Witness Protection name (middle names of your parents): Anita Heinz
9. Your Goth Name (Black plus the name of one of your pets): Black Amadeus
The Situation in Hell
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
The girl you just called fat
She's overdosing on diet pills.
The girl you just called ugly
She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her.
The boy you just tripped
He is abused enough at home.
See that man with the ugly scars
He fought for his country.
That guy you just made fun of for crying
His mother is dying.
Repost if you're against bullying.
I bet more than 95% of you won't...