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Joined 12-17-07, id: 1447171, Profile Updated: 05-02-14
Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter.

Who the heck is Rachelme? I’m a mother 3 absolutely adorable children, wife to a great guy, and an incredibly busy woman. I work full-time, sit on not one but 2 Charitable Organization boards, actually agreed to chair our ice show this year, and write silly little stories that I like to share. I’m also officially ‘over 40’ – but can’t for the life of me figure out how that happened. Wasn’t I just 30?

This is the part where I give updates/clues on my stories (beware, spoilers be here):

NEXT: WOW, one to go ... kinda. See, Chapters 45 & 46 were originally one chapter and when I had to do my massive rewrite I split it into 2 pieces since the first half was fine and only the second half needed redone. Hoping to get it up soon. And don't forget, at some future point there will be a third story but it's basically just an extended epilogue.


Things that make me go hmmm..

Where did Hagrid keep Fluffy before Philosopher’s Stone?

If Quirrell’s specialty was trolls, why wasn’t Dumbledore suspicious when Quirrell was afraid of the troll on Halloween?

If Arthur Weasley could survive Nagini’s bite, why couldn’t Snape?

If Albus expected Harry to find and destroy the Horcruxes, why didn’t he just give him the Horcrux books?

Do Hippogriffs taste like chicken?

If you’re not supposed to trust something that thinks for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain, shouldn’t we not trust the Elder Wand?

If there’s a part of Voldemort in Nagini and a part of Voldemort in Harry, does that make Harry and Nagini siblings?

If the twins were able to fool even their own mother when it came to which was which, how can we be sure which one died?

If Padfoot ate rats in GOF, and he knows it’s possible for a person to turn himself into a rat, does that make Sirius a cannibal?

Why is no one concerned that a creepy old man calls Cedric’s wand ‘pleasantly springy’?


Here’s a quick rundown on my stories:

Of Storks and Grims One-shot that began as an attempt to write an mpreg and turned into something completely different. Has been called: "genius and crazy" … “Creepy. But good.” … “so ridiculously messed up, but awesome at the same time” … and my personal favorite, “Oh, dear God, that was horrifying. And genius.” Sometimes, I worry about myself.

Accidental Evil is an exercise in silliness. Born from my endless rants on the unbelievability that truly evil magic can be done by accident; and how illogical her theory was that Harry remained untouched by the evil inside him, which by the way totally contradicted how all other Horcruxes behaved - especially the other living Horcrux, Nagini. (and there I go ranting again) Will be randomly updated as more chapters insist I stop working on my other story and pay attention to them.

Follow the Phoenix is my first story. It's written around the idea 'what if people (Albus and Ginny mostly) had made better choices regarding Harry'. It's the story of Harry and Albus building a family and Harry and Ginny falling in love. But the mushy stuff is evened out by plenty of action as Harry learns how to defeat Voldemort and works against Draco Malfoy. I like to think it's well written and just different enough to be worth the time to read, but I admit I'm a bit biased.

Advance the Phoenix is it's sequel, and it picks up exactly where Follow leaves off. Almost finished; the final showdown will be part of this story.

Beyond the Phoenix is the working title of the third story to this series. Not written yet! It will be more a short-story just to tell what happens in the future, which I've already mapped out.

Others: I have lots of other ideas, mostly for shorter stories, including what seems to be the mandatory - Snape as mentor/guardian (if I can figure out how to make Snape be half-way likeable but still Snape). Most of my stories will end up being Harry/Ginny (if they include a ship) because I really like them together. I expect most future stories will start around GOF or OotP, which should make sense given my opinions voiced below, but I do have a post-DH idea. Time will tell if they see the light of day. You might be surprised: Having been through it three times myself, I just love the idea of a guy having to be pregnant. Really, if a man can turn into a dog, why can't he grow some 'extra bits'? I have a basic idea for a true mpreg, but I get stuck on how to get a straight Harry pregnant without resorting to rape.

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A Great Escape by Five Minutes Til Bedtime reviews
Harry has a line and Dumbledore has just crossed it. One-shot. Drabble.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 601 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 21 - Published: 6/22/2012 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
Snapshot A Day in a Life by AllisonMadness reviews
A day in Harry's life as seen from an outsider's pov. One-Shot. No warnings.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,170 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/26/2012 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Force sensitive by LunaStorm reviews
At age eight, Harry Potter had an epiphany. He realized, with the utter certainty that only an eight years old can have, that he was a Jedi.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,655 - Reviews: 527 - Favs: 1,791 - Follows: 495 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Harry P. - Complete
Fools Rush In by londonsocks reviews
Harry is not stupid,but what if for once he stopped to think for himself for just a moment? Dissatisfied with his current situation he resolves to improve it,to hell with anyone who gets in his way. AU after OOTP. Warning:contains some delicious cliches!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,011 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 499 - Follows: 404 - Updated: 5/27/2011 - Published: 1/29/2008 - Harry P. - Complete
Why is it Orange? by Grinning Lizard reviews
My first ever challenge response, from the Thank God You're Here thread on DLP. Just a little crack!fic oneshot. Reasonably good response for it on there, so please enjoy. The premise: 'A confused Ron finds Hermione's Dildo'
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,318 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 483 - Follows: 84 - Published: 11/18/2010 - Complete
Task by Lucillia reviews
It was a grim task, but Professor Sprout was determined to get it done.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 119 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 95 - Follows: 27 - Published: 11/13/2010 - P. Sprout - Complete
The Knowledge of One by chrmisha reviews
Harry Potter has experienced a horrible summer and Snape is the one who discovers it. Can the two of them overcome their differences in an effort to heal Harry's wounds? I do not own Harry Potter or make any money from these stories.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,946 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 140 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
His Inspiration by Bil reviews
A Transfiguration essay is a strange place for a revelation but then Harry's never been particularly normal. HPHG. Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,552 - Reviews: 191 - Favs: 938 - Follows: 137 - Published: 12/3/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Hiding in Plain Sight by Bil reviews
AU. CoS oneshot. So you're telling me that in a school full of nosey kids, not to mention the famous Dumbledore, no one notices that Hagrid's hiding an acromantula? How's that work? HP, RH.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,481 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 10 - Published: 9/25/2009 - Harry P., Rubeus H. - Complete
The Grim by SassyFrassKerr reviews
The summer after fifth year, Harry receives a special present, and Ginny does too.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,363 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Girl on the Bench by DukeBrymin reviews
It was, perhaps, inevitable that they should be together. But then Wednesday came along.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 22,495 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 7/13/2009 - Published: 7/7/2009 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Ritual by Roozette reviews
When Neville can't handle being The-Boy-Who-Lived, Harry helps him out.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,975 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 25 - Published: 5/26/2009 - Neville L., Harry P. - Complete
A Conversation with Batman by Ponytail Goddess reviews
Oneshot. Harry gets rescued from the Dursley's by his favorite superhero!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,282 - Reviews: 159 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 36 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
With the Help of Hedwig by grugster reviews
With Hedwig's help somebody comes to rescue Harry Potter from his abusive realtives. Warning: contains mention of child abuse and self-mutilation!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,397 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 334 - Follows: 154 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
How to Say Open by Lucillia reviews
During Fifth year, Harry finds Ron trying to open the Chamber of Secrets. This is a more plausible explanation as to how Ron was able to open the Chamber at the end of Deathly Hallows.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 529 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 80 - Published: 10/11/2008 - Ron W. - Complete
Of Quidditch Pants and Persuasion by It's Just Not Flowing reviews
Full title: The One Where The Entire Gryffindor Common Room Lusts After Harry Wearing Quidditch Pants and Hermione is Persuasive. That's rather self-explanatory, I think. Really, it's just best to move on. Equally pointless second chapter now added.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,135 - Reviews: 268 - Favs: 1,013 - Follows: 159 - Updated: 9/22/2008 - Published: 2/11/2008 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Two Heads Are Better Than One by nonjon reviews
COMPLETE. OneShot. Either Fred and George played a prank on Harry, Harry played a prank on Fred and George, or they're all playing pranks on everybody. Although to be honest, it really doesn't matter how it happened. WARNING: crude, immature, ADULT humor.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,097 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 1,026 - Follows: 246 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Complete
Gossip Queens by opalish reviews
After the war, Neville and Harry meet up to mock people and get drunk. It's a good life. Post-DH oneshot crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 409 - Favs: 1,625 - Follows: 170 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P., Neville L. - Complete
Guy Fawkes Day by MisterQ reviews
Harry Potter destroys Magical England
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,149 - Reviews: 214 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 210 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Complete
In Blood Only by E.M. Snape reviews
Snape is Harry's father. No one is happy to hear it. [R due to colorful language, dark themes, and nongraphic violence.]
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 185,251 - Reviews: 3730 - Favs: 2,892 - Follows: 840 - Updated: 8/15/2006 - Published: 8/24/2004 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
There's Always a Way by S'TarKan reviews
This is my response to the Marriage Law challenge after hearing about it and reading some stories... and thinking about what MY reaction would have been if I was Harry. Oneshot, complete with epilogue.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,064 - Reviews: 312 - Favs: 1,080 - Follows: 202 - Published: 10/10/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
Spirits in the Future by MillieW reviews
Voldemort attacks the Potters, James and Lily tries to protect their beloved baby boy. Then suddenly they're in a house they do not know. Harry isn't with them and they don't know what happened. Where are they? And where is Harry? Award winner!
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 108,725 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 457 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 7/22/2005 - Published: 3/10/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
People to Call Home by Kimagure reviews
AU. A 'Sirius and Remus raise Harry' oneshot. Harry learns how to hug. Thanks to Sundaydriver and Ckdutchess for the betas.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,303 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 254 - Follows: 21 - Published: 1/26/2005 - Sirius B., Remus L. - Complete
Never Alone, Never Again by Bored Beyond Belief reviews
Harry's holiday reaches it's lowest point. Will Harry finally be able to have the kind of love everyone else seems to take for granted? Complete
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 42 - Words: 270,482 - Reviews: 3723 - Favs: 3,664 - Follows: 616 - Updated: 12/25/2003 - Published: 4/29/2002 - Harry P., Sirius B. - Complete
Harry Potter & The Daughter of Malfoy by Fyrie reviews
Harry Potter gets in the way of a pregnancy potion meant for Narcissa Malfoy, leaving the boy-wonder pregnant. He's not best pleased! How is he meant to save the world from Voldemort when he has to go on maternity leave? (NOT slash - just silly) COMPLETE
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 25,896 - Reviews: 388 - Favs: 507 - Follows: 88 - Published: 1/9/2003 - Complete
The Chess Set by Jennlee.2 reviews
A wizarding chess set is found in a Muggle shop. Its the perfect gift... but however did it get there? Death Eaters, Voldemort, betrayal, love, and friendship all come into play in this tale told backward. Complete.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,901 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/27/2002 - Published: 11/18/2002 - Ron W., Harry P. - Complete
Time Changes Everything by GinnyK reviews
**Complete** Harry sets out to find the real Ginny, the one he never knew. Ginny, who thinks she is ‘over’ him, finds herself becoming closer than ever to Harry. Mixed up with R/Hr on the side and fun with the twins. But then...the mystery begins...
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 34 - Words: 137,373 - Reviews: 675 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 10/31/2002 - Published: 12/14/2001 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
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Accidental Evil reviews
Ever thought 'Really? You can perform the most evil magic known to wizardkind accidentally' Then this series of one-shots is for you. HP w/ most key players at some point. CHAPTER 13: THE MAP - you'll understand when you read it.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,986 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/10/2014 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Harry P.
Advance The Phoenix reviews
Year 7 sequel to Follow the Phoenix. Harry & Albus have made Horcrux hunting a family sport. Add a secret plan to elope, Voldemort's obsession with taking Harry alive, and Snape deciding to 'be nice', and it promises to be an interesting year. H/G
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 45 - Words: 333,906 - Reviews: 756 - Favs: 403 - Follows: 563 - Updated: 5/2/2014 - Published: 4/28/2010 - Harry P., Albus D.
Of Storks and Grims reviews
Voldemort used dark magic to create his new body. Now someone has found a new use for his ritual, and Harry is their target. A darker beginning to Year 6. SLIGHTLY DISTURBING; not my normal fare by any stretch.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,341 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/23/2012 - Harry P. - Complete
Follow the Phoenix reviews
AU after HBP:Chap2. After OotP, better choices are made: instead of staying a passive influence, Albus becomes an active part of Harry’s life; and Ginny becomes a better friend. And at the end of summer, the hunt for the Horcruxes begins! H/G
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 38 - Words: 187,877 - Reviews: 532 - Favs: 566 - Follows: 259 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Harry P., Albus D. - Complete
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