No.Elementary.School.Kid
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Joined 12-17-07, id: 1447263, Profile Updated: 10-08-08
Author has written 9 stories for Twilight, and Bleach.

Hello there! You seemed to have stumbled upon little old me, the writer who can only finish oneshots.

Feel free to peek around. If you find anything you like amongst the one shots and stories with no ends, let me know. It will just brighten my day.

What? You want to know a bit about me? If you insist... Although I warn you now, I am, for lack of better phrase, somewhat odd in the head. I warn you know that I have the weirdest sense of humor and type the weirdest things.

Oh, and also, I am going on hiatus! I have an original story I am trying to get out, so no distractions for me.

Name: sunlit.vampire. That's all you get. Don't ask for more

Gender: As with most Twilight obsessers, I am female.

Age: None of your beeswax.

Location: Canada. As with the name, that's all you get. I don't know If you are some stalker or something...

Genre: I love fluff, adventure, and suspence, but only seem to be able to write angst.

How I found Twilight: I was at a bookstore, and my parents were telling me to pick a book. My friend had raved about it a while back, so I got the three of them. Am I ever glad I did.

Team Edward or Jacob: Edward of course, but I don't loath Jacob. After all, if vampires and werewolves didn't exist, Bella and Jake probably would have gotten together. Plus, he is a confused teenager in love, give him a break.

Inspiration: Music mostly, but sometimes just random qestions will turn into a plot in my strange head.

Fave books: Twilight, of course, but I also like Harry Potter, Tamora Peirce (mostly the Tortal ones), His Dark Materials, and Clive Cussler (I know it's a jump, but meh)

Music: FOB, MCR, Greenday, Billy Talent, Three Days Grace, The Offspring

Website: This, Ramblingsandthoughts, and the Twilight Lexicon

Current Projects:

Hiatus all across the board

The odd things me and my friends say, otherwise known as quotes:

Zombie flower from beyond beyond the grave!! - Me at a sleepover

You don't get her peice! I get her peice! Woah, that did not sound right! - my friend (if you say it fast, like she did, you'll get it)

Suck, squeeze, bang, blow - Me, using shorter words to name the four strokes of a four stroke engine. (It just came out wrong. I do that often)

I like the kinky wrench - me, talking about a torque wrench in auto.

Vampire Bunny Legion of Doom - me, after making little mitten bunnies.

He can growl, hiss, and roar, but can he purr? - me, being strange (three guesses who I'm talking about)

The squirrel should totally be named Franchesco - Me, about an evil squirrel

Tamora Peirce Quotes

Dear Father, I rejoice to return from a sojourn in our gracious capital. I yearn to be clasped to your bossom again - Alianne of Pirate's Swoop (she is very sarcastic)

No. I got this nose the hard way, and I'm keeping it. - Alianne of Pirate's Swoop

Of course he never memtioned me. What sane man wants the people around him to know he's favoured of a trickster? - Kyprioth, the trickster god

"I cannot say I am a crow?"You can, but they'll think you're mad." Nawat Crow and Alianne of Pirate's Swoop, respectively

"Nawat, stop playing with the little horsies. We're going back to Tanair." "I would gladly stop playing with them. They are the ones who will not stop." Alianne of Pirate's Swoop and Nawat Crow, respectively.

Narnia Quotes

Choose your last words carefullt Telmaraine! You're a mouse... sigh I was hoping for something a little more original. - Reepicheep, Prince Caspian

Your a mouse. You people have no imagination! - Random gaurd, Reepicheep

Yes, I'm a mouse. - Reepicheep

You all make it sound like there's only two choices: dieing here or dieing there. - Lucy

Twilight Quotes

Since the got to the length of a short story, I decided to make it one.

If you want to know anything else just PM.

To my cyber-stalking sisters/anyone who feels like reading this, it's not like I post secrets about the... uh... family business.

I am a beta... I am a beta... WOOT!! does happy dance

Now for that copy and paste section! YAY!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh, when you put on a Halloween costume in the middle of the year for no reason and walk around the park singing a random song. Crazy is when you make a comic with your friends about a zombie flower from beyond beyond the grave! If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If whenever you see or hear the brand "volvo" you freak out and start giggling uncontrolably and then people stare at you funny copy and paste this onto your profile

If you like your men (or women for those male readers) cold, dead, and sparkling, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward", you freak out because you love him so much, copy this to your profile.

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy this to your profile.

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile. (AUGUST 2ND!! GOT IT PREORDERED!!)

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, Headlight39, sunlit.vampire

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Alice001,HeartOfAgony, VampiressE12B, RosalieHale123, bloodfangs, Headlight39, sunlit.vampire

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile. (another thing to add to a long list of reasons I hate the dentist)

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever slapped/punched a relative because they took the last piece of your gum, copy this into your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love your family, but sometimes lay in bed at night thinking of ways to commit the perfect murder, copy this to your profile.

If your obsessed with fan fiction, copy this to your profile.

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile (for me, it's everything at the curling rink. Those rocks are dangerous man!)

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

if they are right... copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are mad at prince charming for leaving you single for so long, copy this to your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If when you have a child, you'd consider naming them Edward or Anthony, copy this into your profile. (I actually named my fictional science-class baby Edward, a.k.a. Eddie.)

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile.

If you know who Panic! At the Disco is and know that they are NOT disco...copy this into your profile.

If you have ever choked on your own spit, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers have tried or do smoke pot. If you are one of the 2 percent that don't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you know that 'Twinkle Twinkle', the ABC's, and 'Baa Baa Blacksheep' all have the same tune, copy and paset this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World,'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, 'Dark-Independent-Girl-101', Drama Queen Girl, o0Dreamer0o, lclsurfer, Sasuke-Sakura-14, Quiet Moon, hbatso01, Headlight39, sunlit.vampire

THINGS I HAVE SEEN/HEARD/MADE UP(maybe)

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

When life gives you lemons, spit the lemons in life's eye.

Enjoying the "Great Outdoors" would be better if it were great.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't take life too seriously; no on gets out alive.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Friends are like stars, they come and go but the ones that stay are the ones that glow.

Caution: Handicapped people will be eaten by crocodiles below.

You aren't gangster unless you have an orange dot. (so i am obviously not gangster)

Out of my mind, please leave a message.

People are like slinkies, basically usless; and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs.

I've got A.D.D and magic markers, oh the thrills I will have!

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

I was going to take over the world, but I got distracted by something sparkly.

Hate... A kind of love given to people who are dumb.

Scatter me across the sky, and I'll shine all night, and just like a star, I'll end up falling for you.

If you don't laugh at yourself, I'll be glad to do it for you. :)

When you stressed just... YODEL!

Don't hit kids. No, seriously, they have guns now.

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Have fun, laugh at things that aren't funny, and make a HUGE loser out of yourself in public.

Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.

Anyone can make you smile, anyone can make you cry, but it takes someone real special to make you cry with tears in your eyes.

People: Dogs must be on a leash at all times... Dogs: Grrr Bark Bark Woof Grrrrrrrr Bark

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I'm rad, you're rad... but if you hug me, I'll slap you silly.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Pictures fade away but memories are FOREVER!

Take candy, not drugs.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history.

Friendship is like peeing your pant. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel it.

My imaginary friend thinks you have problems.

I hope you choke on every word you spoke when you were screaming at me. (not really, you weren't screaming at me... or were you?)

I am absolutely awesome (agree or die) (not really)

Caution, water on road during rain.

Hold your head high gorgeous, there are people that would kill to see you fall.

WARNING: Children left unattended will be sold to the circus.

Oh no! Barney's gone pimp! What has the world come to?

The worst part about being lied to is knowing you're not worth the truth.

If your heart was really broken you'd be dead, so shut up.

Pants cause cancer.

Don't like my attitude? Call 1 - 800 - Kiss - My -BUTT! (not really butt)

If you're gonna be two faced, sweetie, at least make one of them pretty.

Even the best fall down sometimes.

Yes, I do use my hairbrush as a microphone and dance around in my underwear. Thank you very much.

Read my lips : Olive Juice: Thanks for listening, have a nice day.

Dementors: Turning people emo since 370 B.C.

A friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

Live your life with arms wide open, you never know what might be thrown at you...

I don't have a dog... I eat my own homework.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

Please: Don't throw your cigarette butt's on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

Weapon of choice? Hmmmm... I'd have to say... SPORK!

Save the earth, it's the only place with chocolate!

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count, and those who can't.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Do NOT label me, I'm no soup can!

Welcome to the internet, pants optional.

Elmo watches you from your closet.

Beware the zombie flowers from BEYOND beyond the grave!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3283 - Favs: 2,570 - Follows: 734 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
The House by luv2beloved reviews
The Cullens entered the House and was thrown into a killer's deadly game in which the only way to win is to lose...and the only way out is to go in. One game. Seven Players. Three rules. Game ends at dawn. Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 27 - Words: 77,987 - Reviews: 481 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 7/5/2009 - Published: 3/29/2008 - Complete
Meyer University by Sh.C reviews
Bella moves to college where she meets and befriends the Cullens and Hales. Edward Cullen goes through many girls he meets Bella & sees something he likes. Much better Summary Inside. All Human. Adventure, mystery, humor & of course,a little romance! AU
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 63 - Words: 184,281 - Reviews: 8199 - Favs: 5,839 - Follows: 2,155 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 11/2/2007 - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8346 - Favs: 7,473 - Follows: 1,716 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Facing the Music by Eowyn77 reviews
Forks is rocked by a scandal involving the perfect Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 11,855 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 210 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 9/18/2007 - Complete
Cherub by Eowyn77 reviews
Edward, Bella, and Alice get some more "exposure" to Solimena's paintings.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,452 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/31/2008 - Complete
Overnighter by Eowyn77 reviews
Sequel to Fair Game. Bella confronts a secret from Edward's past when he goes on an overnight hunting trip with his family. Slightly AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 17,771 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 149 - Updated: 12/31/2007 - Published: 7/10/2007
My Personal Valentine by ronOReds reviews
Forks High is running a special Personal Ad column in their newspaper! Can Bella, Alice, and Rosalie find their special someone in time for Valentines Day! ExB, AxJ, EmxR
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,085 - Reviews: 1257 - Favs: 1,650 - Follows: 430 - Updated: 12/10/2007 - Published: 12/1/2007 - Complete
New In Forks by Sh.C reviews
Bella just moved in with her dad who has issues of his own. At school she sees the Cullens who she seems to have a strange connection to, except Edward, who seems to hate her! What if he left and she befriended the Cullens? What happens when he comes back
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 32 - Words: 42,414 - Reviews: 494 - Favs: 692 - Follows: 200 - Updated: 11/4/2007 - Published: 10/1/2007 - Complete
The Fall of the Dark Lord by AnotherChance reviews
Takes place in HBP, sequel to She Walked Upon A Cloud. Sarah's back and the gods have another mission for her help Harry beat Voldemort. But no mission would be complete without Death Eater attacks and some truly horrible attempts at staying undercover.RR
Crossover - Harry Potter & Song of the Lioness - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 73,555 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/6/2007 - Published: 7/12/2007 - Complete
Intoxicated by Eowyn77 reviews
The first kiss, from Edward's perspective.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,025 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 35 - Published: 8/6/2007 - Complete
Fair Game by Eowyn77 reviews
Edward got more experience resisting physical temptation while living in Alaska than Bella could ever imagine or would want to know. Written before the release of Eclipse, but otherwise true to canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 20,845 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 204 - Follows: 37 - Published: 7/10/2007 - Complete
In Search of the Cunning One by Firedraike08 reviews
When the grey palace burned all Aly knew was destroyed. She, of all those mentioned in the Kyprish prophecy, disappeared into history...Well, that was before she decided to get revenge...
Trickster series - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,430 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/13/2007 - Published: 8/21/2006 - Complete
The Other Foot by Betz88 reviews
Wilson's third marriage is crumbling. Sick at heart, he heads to work in the fog. The resulting accident is disastrous and Wilson wakes up crippled for life. Now he knows how House has felt for years. Will House be there for him?
House, M.D. - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 33 - Words: 80,985 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/11/2007 - Published: 1/15/2007 - G. House, J. Wilson - Complete
Tide Pools by Maiden of the Moon reviews
He wasn't sure why he was there... what he was looking for, if anything. But what he found was more than he expected... even if he wouldn't realize it until much later. [Edward's PoV. PreTwilight fluff]
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,231 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 21 - Published: 2/3/2007 - Complete
Summer Heat by Maiden of the Moon reviews
Reaching out, I snagged a fistful of his shirt and yanked it. Hard. As I did so, I gave him my demand: “Take off your clothes.” [BellaxEdward. NOT what you're probably thinking!]
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 658 - Follows: 102 - Published: 1/31/2007 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Take Me Out reviews
Someone Ichigo fears come's back...
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,176 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/20/2008 - Ichigo K., Rukia K. - Complete
Defying Time reviews
A prince and a commoner fell in love, promising to love one another for all of time. Their time together is cut short when they are both caught and executed. Now Bella is moving to Forks, but why is she getting memories that aren't hers? Involving Edward?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,966 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Bella, Edward
Please Don't Stop The Music reviews
What if Bella and Edward had met at a bar, dragged there by their friends? Inspired by song of same title.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 6,489 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 7/3/2008 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Bella, Edward
Rebellion reviews
What was Edward thinking when he decded to come back from his rebellion? If you find the rating too high or low, tell me.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 828 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Edward - Complete
Twilight Quotes reviews
Since the quote section was the size of a short story on my profile, I decided to just make it a story.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,955 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/24/2008 - Complete
Visions reviews
If Alice could see Bella as a vampire before anyone made the decision to change her, could she see Bella in their lives too?
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Edward, Alice - Complete
Lying reviews
NEW MOON SPOILERS! Edwards POV on leaving Bella.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,638 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Unfinished Stories reviews
All the stories that I will never finish most of the stories I start, actually . If you like one and want to continue it as if! PM me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,002 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 3/23/2008 - Published: 12/19/2007
The Ease of Suicide reviews
NEW MOON SPOILERS! Edwards POV of when he went to the Volturi.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/20/2007 - Edward - Complete