Cranky Guy
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Joined 12-19-07, id: 1448904, Profile Updated: 05-29-08
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto.

Attention: This profile should by all means be rated T or M. Proceed with caution.

Stuff you need to know about me: I'm a guy. I love anime. I'm an aspiring fanfiction author.

Likes: Anime, my friends, good fanfiction, books. Not necessarily in that order.

Dislikes: Too many to count, but bad fanfiction is in the top ten.

30.05.2008: In case you are wondering about the progress I'm making on the next chapter of Foster. Well, I have about half of it written out, but right now I'm working on the second chapter of my other story, so it'll be a while before I update again. I will probably switch back and forth between the two fics, so that I don't get tired of them and drop them altogether. Though I don't intend to start any other multi-chapter fanfics while i still have these two going, I may also write some 'one shots' if an especially persistant plot bunny enters my head and refuses to leave.

Rant: Alright, folks. This is where the rating part kicks in, so you might want to stop right here.

So, "What does that guy want to rant about?", you ask yourself as you continue to read. Since it's a fanfiction site, it would stand to reason that I rant about what I see as bad fanfiction. Naruto fanfics, to be precise. It is also an appeal to all the authors out there who write those stories.

First off, stop the bashing. I understand that you might not like some of the characters, but that is no reason to bash them. For instance, Sakura. One of the prime examples for the art of bashing. I have seen many, many fanfics that describe her as a heartless, shallow bitch who doesn't give a fuck about anyone but Sasuke. To all the people out there that make such fanfiction: you are pretty shallow yourself. I can understand it if it is minor bashing necessary for the plot. But so far I haven't seen any plot whatsoever in those stories.(Or, it could have been done without bashing at all, making it look like a misunderstanding for example. That makes it obvious that the author is either too damn lazy or is doing it to shove his opinion onto other people.) Folks. All characters have their own faults and their own strengths. There is, to date, no perfect character aside from Mary-Sues, whom I despise deeply. And no, Hinata is not perfect either. In fact she isn't even close. She is a more shallow character than Sakura, simply because she is not one of the main characters. There is little information known about her, other than that she likes Naruto, had a hard childhood, and is a shy girl. So what? Almost everyone in the anime or manga had a crappy childhood. If compared, for instance, with Sasuke's or Naruto's, Hinata's childhood was a paradise.

Let's keep Sakura as an example and continue. The bashers don't seem to understand that Sakura and Naruto have a special relationship, akin to that of a younger brother and an elder sister. Now that you look back on it, don't you want to say, "Hey, the dude has a point..."? I agree that in the beginning Sakura was a bitch. But already after theWave mission it changed. Instead of insults meant to hurt Naruto it was more like bickering of siblings, a younger sibling that adores his elder one, while the elder one is annoyed by the adoration but nevertheless treasures the younger one. There are many more ways to look at it, but it is undeniable that she cares for Naruto. It was already obvious in the chuunin exams, when she was about to give up her and Sasuke's chances to become chuunin just to preserve Naruto's dream. Which leads us to the conclusion, that the bashers aparently ignore any and all development she makes as a character.

Besides, if a guy/girl that you had absolutely no interest in kept bugging you for a date, wouldn't you shoot them down? I'm pretty sure, though there is no evidence of that, that when Naruto first asked Sakura out she didn't respond so coldly and/or violently. We all know that Naruto never gives up, and after a while it can get on your nerves if he still buggs you.

Also, the wide spread rumor that she is a disgrace to all kunoichi. To the people who share that opinion: I'd like to see you do better. Besides, whom do you have as a comparison? Ino, with her special jutsus, taught only by her family? Hinata, with her bloodline limit and fighting style that compliments it? Tenten, who is a year above Sakura and overall isn't that much better?(Yes she isn't. Throwing a variety of weapons at your opponent might seem like a good idea at first glance, but it really has no strategy behind it.) Or maybe Temari, the daughter of the Kazekage with a strong affinity for wind? Hey, why not compare her to Anko or Kurenai? They are only jounin after all.

Let's see. Time skip is done and what do we witness? Is there even a single Kunoichi that kicks as much ass as Sakura? I don't think so.

Next issue: OOCness. I can live with minor changes. In fact, I welcome them. It wouldn't be fanficion if everyone and everything stayed the same as in canon. But sometimes I simply draw a line. This happens when people take an existing character and make him their own. For this, let's take Naruto as an example. I have seen a lot of fanfics, where he is changed to a point where he only retains the physical appearance of the canon character and everything else is made up without a visible reason for it. Sometimes people even go as far as to change his appearance and name. In those cases he is not merely out of character anymore, but rather he is replaced with an original character, usually a Mary-Sue one. Have I already mentioned that I hate Mary-Sue? The same goes for all the fluffy tails fans. While I don't think it is necessarily that bad it just looks stupid, no matter how you look at it. Furthermore, if Naruto really did grow tails or some other shit like that he would have most likely cut them off or something.(Not to mention that making Kyuubi responsible for all of it is getting old.) I admit though, that it may be fun in a fanfic with humor as the main genre. Unfortunately people write it, and think it is cool/cute/dramatic and then try to keep the fanfic serious. It usually doesn't work. On that note, Naruto is not a kitsune. The Kyuubi is. Naruto is not. End of story. Keep your facts straight.

Kyuubi: Picturing the demon fox as the good guy/girl/whatever or replacing him with some other shit that doesn't even make sense. If the Kyuubi had been good, it wouldn't have attacked Konoha and wouldn't have ended up sealed into Naruto. It also isn't likely to develop soft feelings all of a sudden and take Naruto in as it's student/child/boyfriend.

To all the self insert, Mary-Sue authors. Dump a bucket of cold water over your head and take another look at the atrocity you have written. Now.

Pairing wars: SasuSaku, NaruHina, NaruSaku etc.Let's get started. First off, I'd like to say that all pairings are possible, but only with the proper background, extensive explaining, and a large amount of time.

Example of doing it the wrong way: Sakura looked at Naruto and suddenly found herself engulfed by his fascinating saphire eyes. "Why haven't I noticed it before?" She asked herself as she felt herself beeing drawn deeper into them...

People, if she didn't notice it right away, she won't notice it later either. Or rather she will, but it will not come as a shock and it won't suddenly spark some warm feelings in her. She will already be subconsciously used to them and thus it will have virtually no effect on her. The same applies to any other random pairing, in which one party (or both of them, which is even stupider) suddenly notice something attractive about the other one and instantly fall in love with them.

Here I am going to explain my reasoning as to why certain characters will not get together. Let's start with Naruto and Hinata. Aside from physical attraction, Naruto doesn't feel anything towards anyone but Sakura. Even if he were to notice that Hinata likes him, he will not suddenly think "Hey, she is pretty cute, why don't I go out with her?" Hinata on the other hand will never work up the courage to confess to Naruto, seeing as she has no character development at all, other than the small part at the chuunin exams. I hope the poor girl will get some more screen time (and possibly some CD(character development)) in the new chapters of the manga. And no, learning new techniques does not count as CD. That is not to say that I don't like NaruHina. It's just that most of the fanfics about the two of them suck so bad. There are several very good ones on FF.net, but they are rare. If you want to do this pairing, then prepare to invest the time necessary into it. Things like that don't happen on the spur of the moment.

Next, SasuSaku. Not gonna happen. The main reason beeing Sasuke. In my opinion, he is simply incapable of any sort of romantic feelings, be it for Sakura or Naruto or whoever else you want to pair him up with.

NaruSaku: I think that this pairing is the most belivable of the other ones, though that doesn't mean it will happen. I admit that this one is my favorite pairing at the moment, hence my belief that it is actually possible. Still, the example from above aplies. It will not happen in one day or even a month and you have to slowly approach the romance between them if you want your story to be any good. Also, from a rational point of view i think that Sakura's crush on Sasuke is more than simple childish infatuation, so it's hard to tell whether or not she wants to even try her luck with someone else.

These are the pairings that people most often fight over, so for now I won't list anything else in this section. Note, that the slow approach should be applied to all pairings, be it ShikaTema or even KibaGaa.

Yaoi: I don't care about it, because I don't read it and I do not intend to. BUT. There is one thing that bothers me a lot. I have seen fanfics which have a summary that looks like this: "SasuNaru, NejiGaa, KibaShino, KakaIru..." and the list goes on. Is it that hard to at least try to keep things realistic? One single pairing I can understand. But to make all of the male population of the Narutoverse gay is going a little overboard, don't you think? It isn't even funny. Not to mention that concentrating on several pairings at the same time is pretty much impossible even for the most talented of authors. Also, please do put a yaoi warning into the summary. Preferably in a single word, namely that very same "yaoi". That way if people don't want to read it or even view the summary (which can be very annoying because of their stupidity), they can filter it out.

Oh, and let's not forget the summaries! I understand that not everyone can fluently speak or write in English. For me it's the third language and I am well aware of the fact that my vocabulary is lacking and that, while I may be able to decently write, actually speaking is another matter entirely. Still. The summary that you have to write for your fanfic on this wonderful website has a maximum limit of 255 characters. It's not that hard to at the very least put some effort into it and make sure there are no mistakes there. It is also unwise to either write the summary with your 'Caps Lock' on or no capital letters and punctuation entirely. It shows your attitude towards the story, making clear that you are regarding it as something not worth your time, even though you might actually not think so.

This rant will be continued. Keep in mind that all of the above is what I don't like about some fanficion. If you find yourself agreeing with me, good for you. If you disagree, well then tough luck. Just don't take it as an insult and try to think logically.

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Naruto: Factions reviews
Uzumaki Naruto was lost on the road of life, not knowing what to do after he graduated from the Shing-Jea monastery and became an assassin. That is, until fate decided to make sure he didn't end up uneployed. Naruto x Guild Wars crossover.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 9,135 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/23/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Naruto U.
Foster reviews
Uzumaki Naru was never the luckiest girl, but after the Sandaime’s death the little luck she had ran out. Now, four years later it seems like there might still be hope. FemNaru, well duh. NOT SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,771 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 262 - Updated: 4/8/2008 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Naruto U.