Jared Someone
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Joined 12-23-07, id: 1451889, Profile Updated: 07-22-13
Author has written 12 stories for Kingdom Hearts, and Codename: Kids Next Door.

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J A R E D - S O M E O N E

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* B A S I C - I N F O *

NAME: Jared Samuel van Esch
AGE: 20
SEX: Male
D.O.B: 14th April, 1993
HAIR: Dark Brown/Black Hair
EYES: Blue.
HEIGHT: 6’4” (184cm)
NATIONALITY: Half Australian, Half Dutch
HOMELAND: Australia


T H E - F A V S

BOOKS: Harry Potter Series, Artemis Fowl Series, Spiderwick Chronicles, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Inheritance Cycle.
MUSIC: Mostly anything that has a good beat to it, dislike scream-o/anything i cannot understand the lyrics easily, like mainly rock (includes Punk rock, heavy rock, etc)
BANDS: Too many to list, if it exists (and fits the criteria above) i probably enjoy it, if not then ill probably find it and enjoy it.
MOVIES: Harry Potter Series, Pirates of the Caribbean, Christopher Nolan’s Batman Series, Back to the Future Series, anything action-y or comedic, and the occasional romance.
TV SHOWS: Doctor Who, Family Guy, Robot Chicken, Futurama, Psych, White Collar, Community, Castle, Criminal Minds, Sherlock, Once Upon a Time, anything Crime/Comedy/Sci-Fi/Supernatural.
WEB SERIES: Red vs. Blue...n’ that's it...
GAMES: Kingdom Hearts Series, Final Fantasy Series, Ratchet and Clank Series, Jak and Daxter Series, Lego Series, Halo Series, Fable Series, Batman Arkham Series and most RP’ing games and the Occasional First person/third person shooter.
FOODS: Mangoes.
BEVERAGES: Mango flavored beverages
(A.N: I mostly got everything from either my shelf which houses almost everything i own, and my laptop which houses everything else...except for mangoes...i love mangoes...)


T H E - S H R I N E S . . .

-> X O . K Y O R I I . . .

So i think it is about time after so long that i made a shrine to you. We met...how long ago? years now, you were writing masquerade, i was moving through the endless amounts of fanfiction, trying to find something good. Finding yours, your story had me hooked like the perfect bait. Tenth grade lessons were spent going through my phone/school computers reading your updates (this is back when you updated every few days) and when it ended, i was saddened...but at the same time happy that i had made my first true friend on fanfiction.

Years later, we have both grown up so much. You are now widely considered fanfiction famous (don’t deny it i’ve seen the love reviews) and you deserve every bit of celebrity status that you have. One of the most talented writers ever to grace the coding that is fanfiction.net, she will have you on the floor of any classroom/library/apple store laughing like a madman, to allowing a tear to escape your eyes as if you were Kairi reminiscing on one spiky chocolate-haired keyblade wielder.

Xo.Kyorii’s main page - http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1338939/xo_Kyorii

Red Ribbon, a birthday present wrapped in pages of awesomeness - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5894717/1/Red_Ribbon

Ordinary Freak, inspired by 12 - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5417961/1/Ordinary_Freak


>> Q U O T E S >>

“Not Impossible...Just a bit unlikely...” - The Doctor, Doctor Who

“There’s an old earth saying, captain...a phase of great power and wisdom, and consolation to the soul in times of need...ALLONS-Y!” - The Doctor, Doctor Who

“Same page? We’re not reading the same book, we’re not even in the same Library!” - FBI Agent Peter Burke, White Collar

“Go F$%k Yourself!” - Emperor Palpatine, Robot Chicken

“There is no eleven you F$%KING WHORE!!” - Pvt. Leonard Church, Red vs. Blue

I don’t think i watched an episode of Matlock...where the criminal f$%ked Matlock!” - Cole Howard, Tower Heist.

“I’m not a mind reader,”
“No, that's just what you tell everybody,” - Shawn Spencer and Burton “Gus” Guster, Psych.

“...and exactly how many times did he fall out the window?”
“It’s all a bit of a blur detective...i lost count,” - DI Lestrade and Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock

“Please don’t feel obligated to tell me that was remarkable or amazing, John has expressed that thought in every possible variant available to the English language”
“...I would have you here on this desk until you begged for mercy twice,”
“...i’ve never begged for mercy in my life,”
“Twice...” - Sherlock Holmes and Irene Adler, Sherlock.

“...(Ginny's) got nice skin...” - Harry Potter, Half-Blood Prince (movie)

“Come with me if you don’t want to get paint on you,” - Abed Nadir, Community

I saved some for a rainy day,"
"Well, it's storming like a bitch," - Mr. Gold and Emma Swan, Once upon a Time.

"I discovered at a very early age that if I talked for long enough, I could make anything right or wrong. So, either, I'm God or truth is relative," - Jeff Winger, Community

"You had your perfect little script, but you kinda forgot to write the sequel," - Lea, Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance.

“You hear they’re planning on making a movie of 50 shades of grey?”
“Dude, they’ve already made it?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You ever watch S&M?”
“Yeah?”
“There you go, 50 shades of grey, the movie,” - Two guys on the train, real life.

“I’m a gentleman first...and a smut-writer second,” - Jared Someone, The deep corridors of my mind.


C O N T A C T - M E . . .

TWITTER: twitter.com/thatsomeoneguy
TUMBLR: that-someone-guy.tumblr.com
INSTAGRAM: instagram.com/thatsomeoneguy

(i do also have a Facebook account, but id rather keep that personal. If i get to know you, maybe i might divulge that information to you. Also, PM Me guys! more then happy to answer your questions when I can find the time D: be gentle, im too busy-a man)


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Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Dear Past Self by xo.Kyorii reviews
"At the age of six, you will meet a girl named Kairi. She will seem shy at first, but heed my fair warning, for I will be nothing but blunt and honest: she will ruin your life." - S x K
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,236 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/8/2014 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Teenage Wasteland by xo.Kyorii reviews
"No, Roxas. I'm not okay. I came here hoping to explain things to the love of my life, but instead I'm stuck with your introverted girlfriend, an emo kid, a lovesick desperato, a terrorist, a seventies chick, and a whole island of teenagers in my way."
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 302,300 - Reviews: 1379 - Favs: 468 - Follows: 354 - Updated: 6/16/2012 - Published: 5/23/2010 - Sora, Kairi
Eleven by xo.Kyorii reviews
Make a wish. RokuNami
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,963 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 38 - Published: 11/11/2011 - Roxas, Naminé
Simple Instructions by xo.Kyorii reviews
It was one test question that changed his life.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,712 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/15/2010 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
The Black Petal by BlinkByou reviews
Sequel to The Fallen Portrait. Four years later and five new lives. Four years of accomplishments and four years of regrets. One summer, two returns, and love with the unexpected. It was supposed to be simple, but life never is.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 30,206 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 8/29/2010 - Published: 2/21/2008
Ordinary Freak by xo.Kyorii reviews
Sora Strife has a secret- a secret that makes him different from everyone else. Little did he know that by guessing his way into Twilight Academy, an elite school, he would find his other half; his other, superpower using half. Sora & Kairi
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 144,760 - Reviews: 687 - Favs: 265 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 5/19/2010 - Published: 10/3/2009 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
KissAGram by Hallow Eve reviews
I go to parties and I kiss people. With outfits. It's a laugh." Amy/Ten. Amy/Eleven.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,800 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 9 - Published: 5/5/2010 - Amelia P./Amy, 10th Doctor - Complete
Secrets by 2012.Josie reviews
Kairi has everything, good and bad, she has the friends, the money, the abusive mother, the dead father, the brutal past and to top it all off a now life threatening secret. Kairi has a secret that brings her face to face with death almost constantly. R&R
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 124,543 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/1/2010 - Published: 4/9/2008 - Kairi
Masquerade by xo.Kyorii reviews
Kairi's life revolves around four boys. Her mysterious friend from the past, her favourite YouTube user, the unknown prince charming at the masquerade ball, and the sweet, irresistable Sora Strife. What is so similar about all four? SoKai
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 86,531 - Reviews: 609 - Favs: 303 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 9/12/2009 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Kairi, Sora - Complete
How Harry Potter REALLY defeated Voldermort by Stepfanny reviews
Pretty much i felt like writting this
Crossover - Harry Potter & F-Zero - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 261 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/24/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
One in a Million by crystalnami reviews
She said she’d given up on love. He said he didn’t care for love. They say when you’ve met your one in a million, not even fate can keep you apart. But with all odds against them, will Sora and Kairi ever manage to come out of it all hand in hand? — SK
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 129,589 - Reviews: 364 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 4/26/2009 - Published: 12/22/2007 - Kairi, Sora
Broken Silhouettes by crystalnami reviews
Those two years apart changed everything. He was different, she was different, and their worlds were different. They were the broken pieces of a puzzle that had once made perfect sense. What if she ended up even more broken than she already was? — SK
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,500 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 12/16/2008 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Kairi, Sora
Bella's life as a Cullen by Twilighter-Emma reviews
This is how I see Bella's life after 200 years, Not based on Breaking Dawn. Usual couples.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,070 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 9/30/2008 - Published: 6/30/2008 - Edward, Bella
In the Words of Ginevra Molly Potter by thejealousone reviews
The Autobiography of Ginny Weasley. Her point of view from book one to book seven and beyond, complete with missing moments and everything. Over 800 reviews and nearly 130,000 hits! Written before December 1, 2007. Last Updated August 16, 2008.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 206,370 - Reviews: 1034 - Favs: 1,285 - Follows: 305 - Updated: 4/25/2008 - Published: 8/16/2007 - Ginny W., Harry P. - Complete
The Fallen Portrait by BlinkByou reviews
Kairi is a shy brainy teenager and Riku the hot jock. What happens when Kairi gets her wish of having a boyfriend, only to have that wish shattered? And what of the chocolate haired gothic artist with a corrupt past? AU and OOC. R&R.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 40 - Words: 107,013 - Reviews: 1051 - Favs: 287 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 2/22/2007 - Kairi, Sora - Complete
Girl Next Door by Dynasty-Zero reviews
Sora is a nice young teen that attends Destiny High, he is friendly with everyone he talks to. But there is one person he barely talks to. The girl next door...Kairi Hemsly.FINAL CHAPTER
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 25,578 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/2/2008 - Published: 7/5/2006 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Jenova reviews
"You don't know who I am? I've been with you ever since you can remember how to think, i'm that dark sense in you that tells you to attack, to harm...and no matter what you say or do, you already know that there is no way you can get rid of me...i'm your conscience, im your wrong, your devil...and you have no angel," S x K, Action/Sci-Fi/Romance
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 239,418 - Reviews: 345 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 7/22/2013 - Published: 8/6/2012 - Sora, Kairi, Vanitas, Roxas - Complete
10 things to do before I turn 18 reviews
10 insane ideas to do, one month before i turn 18...lets do it, SoKai, HAPPY BIRTHDAY XO.KYORII Rated M for high amounts of swearing, nudity, gambling references and sexual references
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 16,321 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 9 - Published: 1/28/2012 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
U Hav 1 Txt reviews
What's the difference between saying something face to face and saying something in a text? In a text...you can say ANYTHING SoraXKairiDRABBLE! Just a small ammout of fluff
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,336 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
It Goes Way Back reviews
Do you think you understand their relationship? think again. They knew each other way before Rachel became Supreme Leader, and continued to long after Nigel joined the GKND. Nigel/Rachel
Codename: Kids Next Door - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 19,524 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Nigel U./Numbuh 1, Rachel mK./Numbuh 362 - Complete
The Drunken Angel reviews
Because everyone deserves someone at their lowest moment...One Shot SXK
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,854 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/6/2011 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Seven Photographs reviews
- Because a picture is worth a thousand odds - SxK - Happy Birthday xo.Kyorii
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,459 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/16/2010 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Forbidden Fruit reviews
She was Forbidden Fruit...SxK
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,923 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/4/2010 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Calls reviews
Because if it was your last moment, you'd be making them as well...SxK
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,760 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
12 reviews
Ok, so there's my best friend, Namine Richmond, there's my boyfriend, Riku Johnson, my mother, Katie Faller and, ohh, did i mention my Guardian Angel, Sora Twelve? Rated T for mild violence, sexual references & Supernatural theme. humor as well.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Adventure - Chapters: 14 - Words: 121,856 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 128 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
Maker reviews
Face, eyes, hands, feet, torso, to me, it all gives it away. But we don't look close enough to understand, no one sees it. But I do, the Maker does
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,919 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
School Life reviews
Kairi had always wanted that special Someone, the she met Sora. He was Perfect, but did he have a secret that could mean he would end up dead. Please R&R
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 33,126 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/18/2009 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Sora, Kairi - Complete
More or Just Friends reviews
Kairi and Sora have been best friends since they were born. will they be more than just friends, or will they just be friends in Year 9. please R&R
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,274 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/13/2008 - Published: 1/18/2008 - Sora, Kairi - Complete