Porcupined
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Joined 12-28-07, id: 1455739, Profile Updated: 02-04-13
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

I am Grace. I am eighteen years old. I live in the United States.

I love to read and love to write. I respect those who can use proper grammar, and try to use accurate spelling.

I have no respect for those who lie about their ages on the internet.

I'm a hypocrite. I'm stiffly formal to strangers. I'm crazy, random, and outrageous. I love my friends. I love my music.

I love Twilight fanfiction that is done well.

I find that I can no longer read the actual books, because they essentially suck balls. Hard.

The fanfiction is so much better it hurts.

'Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.' -H. L. Mencken

"I don't do too many drugs. I just smoke weed and drink. But I'll never fuck with no more coke. It's not about the bad high; it's just about the acne: Cocaine makes your face break out. I'm a pretty boy." -Lil' Wayne, on beauty secrets

"A lot of people like to fool you and say that you're not smart if you never went to college, but common sense rules over everything. That's what I learned from selling crack." - Snoop Dogg, on intelligence

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I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3289 - Favs: 2,578 - Follows: 737 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
To Love Again by Sweet Little Bullet reviews
When 23 year old Alice loses her husband, she thinks her life too has come to an end. So when the mysterious and sometimes infuriating Jasper Hale enters her life, will she push him away like she has so many others or will she be able to love again? OOC/A
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 86,697 - Reviews: 1287 - Favs: 443 - Follows: 251 - Updated: 11/24/2012 - Published: 11/10/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
No Place Like Home by tellingmelies reviews
Edward is forced to leave his playboy life behind in Chicago and come home to Washington, but will he change his ways or risk losing everything? All human, cannon couples, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 255,403 - Reviews: 6954 - Favs: 6,579 - Follows: 4,943 - Updated: 6/19/2012 - Published: 4/25/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Seated In The Sky by Lovelybrutal reviews
My entry for the Love Is In The Air contest. Insecure funnel cake freak Bella is hopeless around the opposite sex. Will a mishap on the Ferris wheel help her unclench?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,354 - Reviews: 194 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 278 - Updated: 4/8/2011 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Bella, Edward
If Twilight Was a Bit More Honest by North American Scum reviews
This is a slight reworking of the first book of the "Twilight Saga" without all the purple prose, sickening Edward worship, and general bullcrap.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,271 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 8/30/2008 - Bella, Edward
Summer of Salt by lola-pops reviews
The heat wave lingers. Sweet, savory and slick. Jasper, Rose and I wade through the humid days, content in our relative isolation. We spend June through August at our family lake property, and this summer is like any other. Until it's not.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 26 - Words: 88,646 - Reviews: 4487 - Favs: 5,524 - Follows: 2,041 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 12/18/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
But Inside I'm Screaming by epicinsanity101 reviews
Jessica Stanley must deal with keeping up appearances, her slutty mother, amazing/annoying friend/zombies, being chubby, having "pent up anger", and falling in like with someone she hates. MikexJess
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,419 - Reviews: 474 - Favs: 222 - Follows: 181 - Updated: 5/1/2010 - Published: 11/26/2008 - Jessica, Mike - Complete
The Price of Balance by averysubtlegift reviews
Bella is a girl with a tragic past.The mysterious Edward sweeps in and seems to be balancing out some of the bad in her life.But can love really heal wounds,and what is the real price of balance?Will they be able to pay it?AU - Edward is not human or vamp
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 72,809 - Reviews: 1000 - Favs: 752 - Follows: 446 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Outlandish Courtship of Isabella Swan by Krum Cake reviews
My Twilight Gift Exchange gift to septentrion. These are the jumbled witness testimonials never gathered, that, when pieced together in the right order, reveal one of the strangest courtships Forks, Washington has ever seen. AU/AH. Rating for language.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,464 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 324 - Follows: 51 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Complete
The Nymph and the Waterfall by Pastiche Pen reviews
Someone is spying on Bella at an "inconvenient" time. There's a gnome and a crap ex-best friend. All-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 84,166 - Reviews: 3114 - Favs: 3,158 - Follows: 1,067 - Updated: 6/15/2009 - Published: 12/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Till Death Do Us Part by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
All human. Edward and Bella meet each other at a bar. They get drunk and hit it off. Edward admits that he won’t have sex till marriage. Bella, on a whim, asks Edward to marry her – he agrees. What a shame that Edward doesn't believe in divorce…
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 78,298 - Reviews: 8033 - Favs: 3,745 - Follows: 3,137 - Updated: 5/23/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Bella, Edward
Undercover Blue by alphadork reviews
Copward and Officer Bella go undercover to work a case together. Officer Bella is a bartender and Undercoverward is a bouncer at a strip club called the Drunk Tank. Will they be able to keep their relationship professional? AU-Human
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 37,086 - Reviews: 258 - Favs: 525 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 5/4/2009 - Published: 4/3/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Boy Meets Girl by Daddy's Little Cannibal reviews
Complete. They met each other on a subway. She was still wearing the bracelet from the hospital. He still had track marks from the night before. My answer to a challenge. No character deaths or abuse. All human. Alice and Jasper
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 18,156 - Reviews: 945 - Favs: 591 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 3/23/2009 - Published: 12/29/2008 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE! by LindaRoo reviews
Hilarity ensues when Edward comes back at the end of New Moon and he and Alice get Mrs. Cope to change their schedules to put them in Bella's gym class. How can they appear human when their superhuman athletic aptitudes keep getting in the way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 74,371 - Reviews: 1979 - Favs: 2,227 - Follows: 1,679 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/27/2007
10 Steps To Seducing Your Hot Virgin Vampire BF by halojones reviews
This story starts off after Edward rebuffs Bella's modest advances in their newly acquired bed in Edward's room. But things take a turn for the better for these two lovesick kids when Alice takes things into her own hands. Never bet against Alice!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 92,432 - Reviews: 5138 - Favs: 2,983 - Follows: 1,451 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Complete
Pregnant Vampire Bella Joins the Army! by Marcy and Roo reviews
This is what happens when two comedy writers come together to poke fun at all the ridiculous AU plotlines, while still keeping the characters as canon as allowable. By the authors of Edward in PE and Cullenary Education: Forks Sex Ed!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 19,351 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 8/6/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008
The Forbidden by starburstrocker reviews
He is her deepest desire, the type of love she's always dreamed of. She is his answer to a broken heart. Rivalry breaks two families apart, but can true love sustain such hatred and adversity? -D/Hr- AU.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,529 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/31/2008 - Published: 3/4/2008 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Needs and Wants by averysubtlegift reviews
All human. B/E Edward and Bella meet, but Bella has a long-distance boyfriend named Jacob. Will the course of true love run smooth? Does Alice know more about the future than she's letting on? Fluff, drama, and "lemonade".
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 37 - Words: 148,685 - Reviews: 2623 - Favs: 2,121 - Follows: 805 - Updated: 7/30/2008 - Published: 3/22/2008 - Complete
Firsts by Alice laughed reviews
Esme learns that firsts don't always happen in chronological order. Rated for lemon. Happy Valentine's Day.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,686 - Reviews: 230 - Favs: 313 - Follows: 43 - Published: 2/14/2008 - Complete
Love in Affliction by Saiyachick reviews
-:-1895 England-:-Edward Cullen has always been a ladies man, but after seeing his late father's will, he must choose a bride before his eighteenth birthday otherwise his betrothal to the heinous Duchess of West Essex will be activated.-:-AU-:-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,810 - Reviews: 2305 - Favs: 3,334 - Follows: 935 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Soundtrack of Our Lives by Bandit's Girl reviews
Rosalie is buying seemingly random CD's for everyone. Some songs are practically the story of their lives...Collection of songfics of sorts, various characters. COMPLETE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,130 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 1/29/2008 - Published: 12/10/2007 - Complete
s t u c k i n reverse by Lora-Lai reviews
drabble. what of the things that could've been?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 299 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 12/9/2007 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Complete
Tainted Perfection by fallenangel316 reviews
What happens when Harry starts to fall for his arch enemy? Reviews please. This my first fanfiction so please don't be too hard on me. PK
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,414 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/1/2006 - Harry P., Draco M.
Jacob Black Buys a New Pair of Socks by Rhiann reviews
Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 63 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete
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Hope reviews
One shot. I wrote this about a year ago. It's pretty short. You should read it, instead of reading this. You should also review.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 405 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/9/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
T w e n t y years L a t e r reviews
What's life like for the characters of the Twilight saga twenty years after Eclipse takes place? One shot.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 740 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Complete