Easy ways to tell when a story blows:
1. If the summary contains nothing but questions.
2. If the word "bashing" appears at any point.
3. If the title is not capitalized.
4. If the summary possesses no capitalization.
5. If the summary lacks grammar.
6. If any characters name is misspelled.
7. If the main character is super powerful, every male ignores that, and every female jumps him. Reverse for female main.
8. If ten billion kage bunshin are used as a learning tool.
9. If every character other than the main and the love interest couldn't figure out how to breathe without reminders.
10. If every character other than the main and the love interest spends their screen time making stupid plans to portray themselves as soulless monsters/assholes.
11. If the author consistently cannot be bothered to capitalize all proper nouns.
12. If the author utterly rebukes attempts to help them.
13. If any and/or all characters are completely out of character without solid, long, thought out story arcs to explain the gradual shift.
14. If a character is so different that the only thing tying them to the original is a name.
15. If there is nothing tying the character to the original except for Word of God.
16. If more than two paragraphs are used in opening and closing authors notes for clarification needed in story. Such a thing belongs IN the story, not after the chapter ends.
17. If the first authors notes contain something to the effect of 'don't like don't read' in regards to their skill at creative writing. Warnings for content are fine.
18. If the first chapter makes any character strong enough to slap The Dragon.
19. If The First Law of Fanfiction is broken.
20. If a mentor swoops in from nowhere and creates a Badass in a few months/years where it would take years/decades to reach average level.
21. If at any point a horrible childhood is used as an excuse for anything except for the use of traumatic outbursts.
22. If the author simply cannot deviate from said/asked even when the dialogue demands it. Murmured is not Said. Screamed is not Said. Gently whispered directly into their ear is not said.
23. If, while conversing, a character is not shown to do anything but talk. No facial change. No use of hands to illustrate a point. No nervous fidgeting.
24. If the entire story can be summed up as
"Statement," Character A said.
"Question?" Character B asked.
That's a script, Not a story.
25. If a major character is given no background.
26. If the background of a major character is never used.
27. If the main character does nothing but whine about life. Tragedy Hurt/Comfort and Angst are understandable, WHEN done right. Most people here do not have the experience to pull them off realistically.
28. If every character, despite having been born decades apart, in separate cultures, have the exact same speech pattern if not accent.
29. If the author flaunts major divergences from intrinsic Cannon lore without so much as a warning. i.e. Shadow clones take a set amount of power each instead of an equal division between the creator and the clones.
30. If any character suddenly decides to hate their loved ones and jump into bed with GenericHotFemale23 with no discernible buildup or reasoning. If love potions/mindcontrol/impersonation are involved, kudos to you for a plot twist. That said, at some point you must at least show that the character is indeed acting wrong and that you are, in fact, not a horrible author.
31. If the author refuses to use proper conjugation. Ill is not the same as I'll
32. If the author does not acknowledge improper uses of homonyms. Redread wherewear
33. If the author uses weary, an expression denoting fatigue, in place of wary, an expression denoting suspicion or caution.
I'm going to stop here because it's getting pathetic how fast I'm pumping these out.
I pray to Elena my soul to keep,
Kiss my mind and lay me to sleep.
Petition for "No Yaoi/Yuri" filters
The funny thing about fanfiction, is that fanfiction begets more fanfiction.
The quality of those tales sparks inspiration in the hearts and minds of those who read, and glimpse not just what the author wanted to say, but a few answers welling up from the hidden recesses of their own souls.
Bad fanfiction is every bit the killer of inspiration and spark as good fanfiction is the fertilizer of more tales.
It is with a heavy heart that I admit that my joy in fanfiction has been stifled, stunted, and outright strangled by the vast majority of the fiction being propagated.
Personally, there are things I just don't want to see.
The fact that Naruto-Sasuke is the single most popular pairing of ANY sort in Naruto fanfiction is one of them.
The real trouble, of course, is the filters. The filters can search for what you want- but they can't exclude what you DON'T.
I intensely wish there was a means by which to eliminate yaoi from your search results, because frankly, of all pairings I can encounter I most especially don't want to imagine two boys- especially prepubescent boys, which is traversing the distance from merely unpleasant to down right perverse and reprehensible, in my mind- becoming sexually involved with one another. And I say this because it just DOESN'T appeal to me. And so when I start leafing through the fics on the front page, it becomes increasingly apparent that ff dot net is not losing, but has completely LOST the war against lemon fics, considering how many of them openly proclaim Yaoi and Lemon in the descriptors.
So work with us here- please, for the love of writing, PLEASE add a filter that excludes Yaoi. For the love of GOD.
Or else, all the good writers who don't write yaoi are going to leave- and there are a lot more GOOD writers who WON'T write yaoi, then there are who DO.
If you agree with this rant, copy and paste this into your profile- and email a complaint to ff dot net regarding the lack of so necessary a tool.
Signed, AXENOME and, Techpriest of Tzeentch
In the war between good and evil, types take the side of the noble and good.
When it comes to the powers of Chaos vs. those of Law and Order, your inner dragon tends to do things by the book.
As far as magical tendencies, Your inner dragon has the ability to conquer the world of magic, but it will not be easy.
During combat situations, whether by spells or by claw, your inner dragon will do whatever it takes to get the job done.
Despite their imposing appearance, Flame Drakes are the guardians of good and make powerful and trust able allies. Their primary breath weapon is huge spray of molten lava.
The Flame Drake, as it's name implies, appears as a towering, living flame in the form of a dragon. Flame Drakes also radiate high levels of heat, and have a tendency to make melt and burn things for a 20 foot radius about their body.
And now, for a great quote.
He's so badass, angels follow him around with electric guitars.Andrenaveed, youtube.