1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You havent played solitaire with real cards in years.
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the tv.
6.) Your boss doesnt even have the ability to do your job.
7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.
11.) & now youre laughing at your stupidity.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And I know you did...
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr / Mrs
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
FAKE FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Would ignore this
If you were killed today, I'm sorry I wouldn't be able to come to
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag,
2) STAND silent and motionless in the
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look
12) TRY to make personal calls on the
13) DRAW a little square on the floor
14) WHEN there's only one other person
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they
16) ASK if you can push the button for
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23)when the elevator door opens run outside and down the hall yelling, "OH NO I'M GONNA MISS THE ELEVATOR
(I've does some of these and the ppl's reactions were hilarious!!)
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World, GatorPups95, 'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', TitanRavenFreak, Bewarethedarkness, Demonchild99, randomlass, lilninjapig, Trickster91, Breezy411, Master Solo, elegos-sirinial-shamtul, Journalist793,fan of fanfiction777, TMMfanatic, ThaliaGrace04, Lazyshika16
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
Chocolate Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the stinkin' Trix, copy this into your profile
If you repeatedly read page 203 in The Battle of the Labyrinth, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever laughed for 10 minutes straight, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile.
If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.
if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get, like, two reviews, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.
If you took the time to read all of these (and you usually do), copy and paste this onto your profile
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you're random, and proud of it, post this onto your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this to your profile.
If you and your friends have nicknames, titles, or anything else for each other copy this to your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this onto your profile
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are totally confused right now copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever walked into a statue, copy this onto your profile
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiilling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.
~ I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's
~ A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.
~You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. so if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
~Boys are like Slinky's. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
~When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.
~Guns don't kill people. People kill people.
~If guns don't kill people, then can I blame all my misspells on my pencil?
~I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM'
~My friend overheard some people talking about me. How weird I was, how creepy, how wrong. But I just said 'I feel sorry for them' because I have a friend who told me, while their friends would sooner be the ones saying it.
~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
~A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"
~Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.
~I used all my sick days so I called in dead.
~Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run me over!
~You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.
~The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.
~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
~When in doubt, make words up!
~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (personally, my favorite one)
~If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!
~If you're going to be two-faced sweetie, at least make one of them pretty!
~Don't worry about the end of the world coming today- it's already tomorrow in Australia.
~Kids are the future. Be afraid, Be very afraid!
~Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Of, that red stuff leaking out of them?...That's cooking oil.
~Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!
~An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.
~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!
~There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, an so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...
~Newscaster ase the people who tell you "Good evening" and then procede to tell you why it's not.
~Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...
~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?
~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.
~Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now.
~WARNING- lost kids will be sold to the circus
~If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!
~I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.
~WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!
~There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't.
~Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.
~Welcome to the internet! Pants optional.
~If I throw a stick, will you go away?
~The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!
~If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.
~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
~I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.
~If someone told most people they were weird, most people would disagree. I would ask what their first clue was.
Some of my current goals in life are to attend Hogwarts, rule Narnia, and be claimed by a greek god.
Mental Hospital Phone Menu:
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blond, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
A simple friend wonders about your romantic history. A real friend could blackmail you with it!
What a guy means, when he says some stuff-
“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"It would take too long to "
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
She ended up staying longer than
As she walked along under the tall elm
When she reached the alley, which was a
However, halfway down the alley she
She became uneasy and began to pray,
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
When she reached the end of the alley,
The following day, she read in the
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
She felt she could recognize the man, so
The police asked her if she would be
She agreed and immediately pointed out
When the man was told he had been
The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
She asked if they would ask the man one
Diane was curious as to why he had not
When the policeman asked him, he
Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
Even when you can't see Him, GOD is there! Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?