Girlfrommarz
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Joined 01-05-08, id: 1465485, Profile Updated: 02-24-11
Author has written 1 story for Canterbury Tales.

THIS IS MY PROFILE!!

Hello! I have submitted a story, FINALLY! I wrote this for English class, and I really like it. I laugh while reading it. I hope you do too!

Anywho... If you end up reading the story, please enjoy it, but if not... you should.

THE END :)

~~Girlfrommarz


PS: I made a horizontal line!

You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this 'ice ice _'
You remember watching Doug, Ren & Stimpy, Pinky and the Brain, Bobby's World, Felix the cat, The Tick...AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember TGIF, Step by Step, Family Matters, Dinosaurs, and Boy Meets World.
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You remember reading "Goosebumps"
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
If you remember seeing hot tub bubbles make bubbly sounds before every music video on VH1.

when everything was settled by rock paper scissors..or bubble gum bubble gum in a dish...eeny meeny miney mo...and even better daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
Captain Planet. He's a Hero.
You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.
You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching The Magic School Bus, Wishbone, and Reading Rainbow on PBS.
You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.
You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching the 1st Batman, Aladdin, Ninja Turtles, and 3 Ninjas movies.
You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper cootie-catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
You played and/or collected "Pogs"

You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
And Windows 95 was the best.
You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.

You collected those Beanie Babies.
Carebears
Lambchop's song never ended.
The old dollar bills.
Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls
If you even know what an original walkman is.
You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . nough said
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it?!"
You remember trying to collect all 150 original pokemon cards but never could and if you did you thought you were all that!
You remember Highlight's magazine.
You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
Before Spongebob . . .
Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was 0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was The new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
When gameboy was a brick.
You did MASH to figure out your future
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!
Post this in your profile if you remember these days . . . .
or if you smiled at one of these things.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your own name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile.

Less than 1 percent of teenages don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

If you have ever run into a door copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen uP the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES
Say the words out loud.
1) That's not right... ...Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ...Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP... ...Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man... ... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse... ...Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the Beach?...Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table...Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift...Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here...Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet...Wai Yu Mun Ching
11) This is a tow away zone...,No Pah King
12) Our meeting is next week...Wai Yu Kum Nao
13) Staying out of sight...Le i Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile...Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive...Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great... ...Fa Kin Su Pah

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

WHAT CELEBRITIES MIGHT SAY WHEN ASKED: "WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?"

"Why would he be on a road? I thought chickens lived in the ocean..." -Jessica Simpson

"That (censor) fool of a chicken didn't (censor) know what the (censor) he was doin' crossin' a (censor) alley in (censor) Harlem at 1:00 in the (censor) morning" -Snoop Dogg

"To cross or not to cross, that is the question" -Shakespeare

"I agree that the chicken should cross the road, but I believe he should not get to the other side" -John Kerry

"Chickens, over a great period of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads" -Charles Darwin

"And God came down from the heavens and He said unto the chicken 'Thou shall cross the road'. And the chicken did, and there was much rejoicing" -Moses

"To go where no chicken has gone before" -Neil Armstrong

"We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. Its either with us or against us, there's no middle ground here" -George W. Bush

"Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road. But why it crossed, I've not been told" -Dr. Seuss

"In my day, we didn't as why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough for us" -Grandpa

"Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask 'What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyways?'" -Jerry Seinfeld

"The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road" -Richard Nixon

"This was an unprevoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it" -Saddam Hussein

"I missed one?" -Colonel Sanders


Har Har Har. P) (That's my pirate smiley)

Yay! Now are you ready for some superspecialawesome quotes? (Beware, this list is long and entirely random.) :D

"My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It's the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You'll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond 'Z' and start poking around"
~Dr.Seuss

Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
~Dr.Seuss

"Sir, I think you should buckle up!"
"Buckle this! Ludicrous speed, GO!"
~Spaceballs

"I think I just had an evilgasm"
~The Order of the Stick

""Ah, I see where she's going. A classic Unlikely Heroes defense. We might have some success citing a precendent. Get me the case files for Sauron v. Baggins, Takhisis v. Everman, and... Riddle v. Board of Education."
"How about Witch v. Gale?"
"Hmmmmm. Yeah, OK, but East, not West."
~The Order of the Stick, GiantITP.com

"Everything in this room is edible. Even I am edible, but that, little children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies."
~Willy Wonka (thanks for this one, Rachel!! :D)

"Oh god you're a woman... you have such excellent bone structure there. I'm kinda having a hard time not looking at you now."
~Iron Man

SO THERE I WAS BEING KUBO
AND MY EDITORS CAME IN AND WERE LIKE
"YOU NEED TO DO MORE THAN PANELS OF WHITE PILLARS AND BACKGROUNDS"
AND I WAS LIKE
"FUCK YOU"
SO THEY WERE LIKE
"WHAT ABOUT SOMEONE DYING?"
AND I WAS LIKE
"FUCK YOU"
AND I MADE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONEY
I LOVE MY LIFE
~Fanfiction

"I saw it, but I still don't believe it."
~Green Lantern

What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
They both handle bars, except for the duck

"in hell, the english are chefs, the germans are police officers, the french are engineers, the swiss are lovers, and the itaaaaaaalians are bankers... in heaven, the french are cooks, the english are police officers, the germans are engineers, the swiss are bankers, and the italians are lovers"
~Axis Powers Hetalia episode 18 (roman empire)

"Apparently you're trying to fck all this sht up!” I said loudly, swinging my arms out as to show just how much sht she was fcking up.
~Bleach (sorry that I don't remember!) fanfic

"This answers so many questions in a way I never wanted them answered."
~"Wild" fanfic

"Don't look, don't look, if you can't see it, it's not happening."
~"Wild" fanfic

"What are you doing?"
"Old man?"
"Why do you run, Ichigo?
You still have not called me.
Face forward, Ichigo.
You should be able to hear it now.
That which blocks your ears is worthless fear.
The enemy is one, you are one.
What is there to fear?
Cast off your fear!
Look forward!
Go forward!
Never stand still.
Retreat and you will age.
Hesitate and you will die.
Shout...
...my name...
ZANGETSU!"
~~Bleach

"I'm really dissapointed Kurosaki. In your sword, all I see is fear. When you're dodging, you're "afraid of getting hit." When you're attacking, you're "afraid of hitting me." When you're protecting someone, you're "afraid of them dying." Your sword is filled with fear! I'ts pathetic! You can't give into fear in a fight! It won't help you at all. When you're dodging, think "I won't let him hit me!" When you're protecting someone, think "I won't let you die!" When you're attacking, think "I'm going to cut you!" See? See this? In my sword... do you see my determination? Do
you see "I am going to cut you in half?"
~Bleach

"Sometimes I think that the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there somewhere is that it hasn't tried to contact us."
~Anon.

"If the ocean were vodka and I were a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink my way up, but the ocean ain't vodka and I ain't a duck, so give me some manga and shut the fk up!"
~Loki

Then, faster than you could say ‘Oh shit, the beaver has found its way into my pants!’ (Which wouldn’t have to be very fast, because that would take some time to say, all things considered.) Ichigo was all over Grimmjow like bald on Ikkaku.
~Fanfic, shattered into completion

"Aww, that's so sweet! You've been blinded by my love... and by your actual blindness"
~YTAS

"I'm here for your blue eyes, old man, so hand it over"
"No!"
"Curses, foiled again."
~YTAS

"holy on a ing sandwich with on top... and a side helping of "
~YTAS

"In my greif, I took a trip to Egypt. Because that's what people do when they're greiving... they go to Egypt."
~YTAS

"By the way, there was some guy in here looking for you? Aizawa or Muzen or something like that."
"How do you get those names confused, they're completely different."
~bleach fanfic

"The little Jew boy's mind has been divided into two parts. One looks like it belongs to a child. A very untidy child. If he lived in my homeland of Egypt, he would have been stoned to death for his insolence."
~YTAS 19

"This little boy has saved me. Perhaps he is not as Jewish as I first suspected."
~YTAS

"Grandpa!! Are you okay?!"
"For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured."
~YTAS

"Hey Gramps, can we see your super-rare-awesome-chocolatey-fudge-coated mega-super card??"
~YTAS

"Isn't that against the rules?"
"Screw the rules, I have money!!"
~YTAS

"It's too bad that rich meglomaniacs are immune to the law, or we could just call the police."
~YTAS

Buffy: to spike "What are you doing here? Five words."
Spike: "Out for a walk... Bitch."

Make a list of important things to do today. At the top of your list, put 'eat chocolate.' Now, you'll get at least one thing done today.
~Gina Hayes

"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to"
~Jerry Seinfeld

"an exasperated juvenile court judge declared that the auomobile was 'a house of prostitution on wheels'"
~Davidson (780)

"the Round Lick Association of Primitive Baptists"
~Davidson (795)

"'Peace is proclaimed,' announced Secretary of State Frank Kellogg as he signed the document with a foot-long gold pen.'"
~Davidson (801)

"Yes, but he must be the same type as Ichigo. He has incredible strength but his powers of observation are quite weak"
~Ishida, ep. 28

"M-my feet aren't touching the ground"
"Of course not. We're on a plane you idiot."
~ES 21 episode 27

"We can't go this way! It's a dead end, right? I thought all along you should have turned right at that last corner!"
"But you're the one who said to come this way!"
"Hey, Kenny, It's not like you to blame someone else! See that? Wasn't I close? Go over there."
Kenpachi kicks down wall
"This way, right?"
"Right"
~Kenpachi and Yachiru, ep. 28

"When angry, count four. When very angry, swear."
~Mark Twain

"The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible."
~Mark Twain

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."
~Mark Twain

"When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not."
~Mark Twain

I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it.
~George Burns

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
~Mark Twain

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
~Mark Twain

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process... It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance?
~Unknown

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.
~Oscar Levant

"What's with that stupid outfit you're wearing? Are you with the intruders we saw earilier?"
"Intruders you saw earlier...? ...Probably... Yes..."
~Random soul reaper and Chad, ep. 29

"Uh, Sokka, you're a comic relief character. You couldn't fight off a short bus full of nuns."
~Katara, ATAS ep. 2

"Thanks to your uncle's love for bad Jewish wine, I now have all the information I need to capture the Avatar before you, and take all the glory of defeating a 12 year old child for myself."
~ATAS ep. 2

"Remember what we've been working on! Always aim for the groin!"
~Uncle, ATAS, ep. 2

"El Gasp? I have been discoooverrred. I must flee... sexily"
~ATAS, Ep. 2

"Well, well, well. If it isn't the dragon of the west, the once great general Iroh"
"Once great? That not what your wife said last night"
"He burned you there sir"
"Shut up!"
~ATAS

"Did you just crush a rock in your hand?"
"Nah, It was a dirt clod."
"Well that's much less cool."
~Naruto Abridged Series

"Are you here to take me to the Neverending story, Mr. Dragon?"
"Close enough."
"Yeah... kiss my ass, eragon"
~ATAS

"OW! MY GROIN!! Why would you shoot a fireball there? Why?"
~ATAS

"Oh please. They're all lined up in a straight line with their guns all pointing the same way. They're probably French."
~ATAS

"ROFLMAO! Learn to play noobs!"
~ATAS

"Men, we've been discovered by harmless looking children, kill them!!"
~ATAS

"You're harder to find than Carmen Sandiego!"
"NO ONE is harder to find than Carmen Sandiego!"
~NAV

Jet:"You guys wanna come back to my treehouse?"
Katara:"YES I'LL HAVE YOUR BABIES!"
Sokka:"That proves it. He's gay."
~ATAS

"I'll bite your ear off, and I'll eat it. I'll like put it on a plate, with some ketchup, maybe some barbeque sauce, some gravy; put some broccoli on it to make it look good, and then serve it at French restaurants. It'll be called 'Le ear of kid who didn't call Mike Tyson Iron Man'. And everyone will love it. It'll be a hit! And that will be your ear, understand me?"
"Your voice is funny."
"Haha, that's a funny joke- shut the f up!"
~ATAS

"are you hiring 15 year olds with no previous job experience?"
"That depends... do you know what child labor laws are?"
"Absolutely no idea."
"Welcome to the team!"
~ATAS

"So, now that Aang is the avatar, he needs to eat a nutritous breakfast. That means no more Lucky Charms, only... RAISIN BRAN!!"
~ATAS

"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."
~Leo Tolstoy

"The history of these pickles begins with..."
~Inuyasha

Jacuqeline: The Declaration of Independance is CRAP!
Mr. Gilman: Is that a historical term?
~AP History

"A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way."
~John Tudor

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want -- an adorable pancreas?
~Jean Kerr

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
~Robert Orben

Inga: Hallo. Vould you like to have a roll in ze hay?
Dr. Frankenstein stutters
Inga: It's fun.
She begins to roll in the hay
Inga: Roll, roll, roll in ze hay.
~Young Frankenstein

as she holds a candle holder with 3 unlit candles
Frau Blücher: Stay close to the candles. The stairway can be... treacherous.
~Young Frankenstein

Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... ”Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronkensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: You must be Igor.
He pronounces it ee-gor
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong then, weren't they?
~Young Frankenstein

James Gordon Jr.: Why's he running, Dad?
Lt. James Gordon: Because we have to chase him.
James Gordon Jr.: He didn't do anything wrong.
Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him
because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight.
~Dark Knight

Billy Black: to Bella We came for your flat-screen. And because Jacob wouldn't stop talking about seeing you again.
Jacob Black: Thanks, Dad. Nice.
Billy Black: I'm just keepin' it real, son
~Twilight (movie)

Rosalie Hale: Is she even Italian?
Emmett Cullen: Her name is Bella
~Twilight (movie)

"Study smarter!"
~Mr. McCraith

"Someday Mr.McCraith is going to give us a calculus test and is going to say 'Take the test smarter' and expect us to get an A."
~Cam S. (in Algebra II)

Cassie to mr.mccraith "No! My way is better!
class "Oooooooooo!"

"Don't piss me off."
~Mr. McCraith

Mr. McCraith-- "Who wants to answer the question? ... Aaron V!"
Aaron V-- "...but I didn't raise my hand..."

Shawn:"and this is my partner, Longbranch Pennywhistle."
~Psych

Shwns:'plan a or plan b?'
Gus: 'plan b.'
man walks in the room, gus is lying in a chair with his tongue sticking out, looking dead.
Shawn: 'oh my god, I killed him!'
runs out of room, past the bewildered man. Immediately after, Gus stands up and follows
~Psych

"Billy, you're driving the spork into your leg."
"Huh, so I am... Hilarious, heh heh."
~Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"This, my friends, is my freezeray, which, with the addition of the Wonderflonium I obtained at my famously successful heist last week; I say successful in that I acheived my objective, It was less successful in that I inadvertantly introduced my arch-nemesis to the girl of my dreams, and now he's taking her out on dates, and they're probably going to French kiss or something..."
~Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Captain Hammer- "Everyone's a hero: you and you and mostly me and you."
~Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Captain Hammer- You look Horribly familiar. Have I seen you at the gym? Wait, I don't go to the gym, I'm just naturally like this."
~Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Crazy camp owner- "you've destroyed me... Iago!"
Shawn- "what does the parrot from Aladdin have to do with this?"
~Psych

"What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's. Do I go for the vault, no, I go for the chandelier: it's priceless. As I'm taking it down a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada; I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. 30 years later I get a postcard: I have a son and he's the cheif of police. This is where the story gets interesting, I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris - she's been waiting for me all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin - that's where I stashed the chandelier."
~Dwight, The Office

-"AP US History is like a jealous mistress... it never stops."
~Mr. Gilman

-"Do I say that all the time? I'm such a tool."
~Mr. Gilman

"Meet me at 8 o'clock tonight under the bridge. I'll be dressed as a nun... or a cat. I haven't decided yet."
~Ugly Betty

Mulan: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Grandmother: Would you like to stay forever?
~Mulan

"This is the crack team that foils my every plot? I am deeply shamed"
~Spike

Angel- I saved the world you know.
Spike- yeah, like I haven't.
Angel- yeah, but I've done it A LOT more.Angel- I stopped Jasmine, I stopped the Kafla-
Spike- Buffy RAN YOU THROUGH with a SWORD! I helped her. THAT ONE counts as mine.
~Angel (TV show)

"Waka, gods gift to man, is here! Bonjour!"
~Okami

"... if all goes according to plan, which it will, because I hold a Phd in Horribleness."
~Dr.Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

"Annoy little blond one, annoy like the wind!"
~Logan from Veronica Mars

"Question: What kind of bear it best?"
~The Office

"He could talk the legs off a table."
"A crayfish."
"A sausage."
~"Jewel and Thorn"

Grandmother: Great! She brings home a sword. If you ask me, she should have brought home a man--.
Shang: Excuse me? Does Fa Mulan live here?
Grandmother and the mother points to where Mulan is as Shang walks
Grandmother: Ooh! Sign me up for the next war!
~Mulan

"People say 'outrageous!' when they really mean 'that's mildly interesting'"

"Hey, Clark, where are you? I feel like your stalker ex-girlfriend. Even though I was never your girlfriend... it was just an analogy, a bad one. I'm sorry, this is awkward."
~Chloe, Smallville

"contrary to popular belief, honking your horn in a traffic jam does not make the cars move faster."

“Immaculate being?
In this secular existence, perfection is illusion. Regardless of all those who utter the contrary, this is the reality. Common man seeks it out … they aspire to achieve it, as if it were some tangible things.
But the fact of the matter is, perfection is an hollow shell. It is … devoid of any substance. I spit on perfection. Perfection afterall, implies that you have reached the summit. No trial and error… no ability to conceptualize. An omniscient being would have no need for such superfluous things. For people who dabble in the sciences such as yourself, perfection would render you obsolete.
Many magnificent things have been, and will continue to come into existence. And yet, every last one of them will fall short of perfection’s finish line. Our function as men of science relies on their shortcomings, and then, only then can we apply the fruits of our labor.
To put it simply …. As soon as you began spouting that nonsense about being immaculate being, your fate was sealed. How dare you call yourself a man of science….”
~Mayuri Kurotsuchi, a Shinigami mad-scientist, while eternally paralyzing and torturing another scientist, Szayel Aporro from Espada. Szayel earlier revived himself from death, and called his immortality technique perfect. Bleach (manga), Chapter 306

"The pharoh awoke the very next day,
wearing an outfit that made him look... uh... handsome."
~YTAS

Wizard's First Rule: "People are stupid. ... They will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true."
Wizard's Second Rule: "The greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
Wizard's Third Rule: "Passion rules reason."
Wizard's Fourth Rule: "There is magic in sincere forgiveness, the magic to heal. In forgiveness you grant, but more so, in forgiveness you receive."
Wizard's Fifth Rule: "Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie."
Wizard's Sixth Rule: "The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason"
Wizard's Seventh Rule: "Life is the future, not the past."
Wizard's Eighth Rule: "Deserve victory." (Talga Vassternich).
Wizard's Ninth Rule: "A contradiction cannot exist in reality. Not in part, nor in whole."
Wizard's Tenth Rule: "Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self."
Wizard’s Eleventh Rule: The Rule unwritten, unspoken since the dawn of time.

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Why did I Get married Too? by NeonZangetsu reviews
What are a captain's thoughts on her wedding day? You'd be surprised. You'd be even more surprised if you knew what her zanpakutou had to say about her master's soon to be husband. IchigoxSoifon. Oneshot. Romance, humor, fluff.
Bleach - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 779 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 27 - Published: 11/23/2009 - Ichigo K., Suì-Fēng - Complete
A Road to El Dorado Parody by meggannn reviews
What in the name of all things sexually ambiguous is this?
Road to Eldorado - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,878 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 308 - Follows: 23 - Published: 8/27/2009 - Miguel, Tulio - Complete
Tonight with Chaucer the Wife of Bath reviews
When our esteemed talk show host Jackie Morse is joined by Chaucer's Wife of Bath, chaos ensues. The characters from her story also join us, telling their real opinions on the events of the fantastic tale of the Wife of Bath.
Canterbury Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,180 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Complete