Poll: If expanding The Hundred Years of Winter, should I put it as another separate story or just update the one that's there? Vote Now!
Author has written 27 stories for Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, Misc. Books, Pride and Prejudice, Book X-overs, and Bible.
I do not anticipate posting anything more until the Adventures in Narnia Encore, after which I should resume fairly ordinary haphazard posting of chapters. :) Just a heads-up.
UPDATE: Apart from said Encore, I'm afraid I won't be posting any chapters until probably December, after NaNoWriMo ends. Between now and then I have exams and placement. And then I have another two weeks of placement in December. However, between those two placements I might (might) have time to write a lot. Then again I might just be wrapping up the draft I'm writing in November, who knows. I'm sorry, though. I promise I haven't forgotten that I've left Lucy and Caspian all lonely. :( I just care too much about it and know that if I get started on a chapter, that's probably the rest of the day gone. And I don't have that time. However, if you review more and tell me how to fix things, I'm more likely to write bits here and there. And once again... I'm sorry.
Like Narnia writing prompts, and doing the same prompts at the same time as others? Join us 26/9-2/10 (prompt posted ~7am Pacific time each day) for the Adventures in Narnia 2021 Encore! See https://www.fanfiction.net/topic/228951/184313974/1/#184314611 for details! (If you want to see my responses to the earlier 2021 Adventures in Narnia, it's An Inconvenient Law: Adventures in Narnia 2021.)
I will always finish my stories if I humanly can, even if you have to wait a while.
"There are days when nothing seems to go right. Those are the days the Lion is reminding us of the existence of another world."
- Edmund Pevensie
A note on requests, and fandoms
Current active stories
Dormant/on hold/un-planned-updating stories
Please tell me of stories like this
Ideas for adoption
Pairings I like and don't
I now have a sister account, ACatReviewsStuff. I review, giving feedback, over there (see over there for my parameters and more information). However, PM me on this account because the other's PMs are disabled. That includes if I review and you want to follow something up - use this account. Look in my favourites to find that account (and vice versa).
Hi there! Nice of you to wander over to my profile. It's a disorganised mess, but trust me, it was much worse before. And if you want to look at some original stuff (not my main priority), head over to fictionpress, where my username is the same. It has more information about other places you can find me, as well. Also, I am on AO3, same username sans spaces; FF decided to remove Narniabook, so that's been posted over there and will be shortly updated. Also on Fictionpress under the same username as this. There is stuff on there now!
My name's [redacted]. You can call me Cat if you like. I'm a girl, and I'm Christian. Which means, to clarify, that Jesus is not God in any way, shape or form. Jesus is God's Son. Not God himself. I'm Christian, but I guess most so-called Christians wouldn't accept me as Christian. I'm not trying to pull down others by saying this: just stating truth. If they would but accept truth-
But so many others don't see truth for what it is.
If you're interested in why I don't believe in the Trinity, I'll tell you - gladly. Same with heaven (the kingdom is on earth) and hell (Gehenna) and Satan (there is no supernatural devil) and immortal souls (a pagan concept in its entirety).
I have more ideas than stories - I warn ye. My main priority is an original story (of which I can see touches in how I describe truth, as it's a core concept of the story. If you're interested, PM me and I'll explain more. Oh, and my characters appear, at a different age to my current story, in Playing at Love, a P&P-inspired story on this site).
I'm also quite young. I won't mention how young, but young. A mere child, you might say.
I don't write M-rated fiction. No swearing, no explicit sex. The only thing that could possibly push it that high is occasional somewhat graphic violence, or maybe childbirth (you can hardly blame me for being fascinated by that). I often rate things T that only really rate K or K plus.
When I listen to music, I listen to all the usual classical music: Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, &c., &c. The other classical great that few know of is Alma Deutscher, a rising star who deserves a lot more fame than she has. She's on youtube and has released a couple of albums. My personal favourite of her music is her Siren Sounds Waltz, which has a very Narnia feel. Oh, and the recording of that is from a sold-out Carnegie Hall. At the time of the concert, she was fourteen years old.
I also listen to singing. I'm a somewhat fan of Paul Potts, getting into Harry Secombe, Pavarotti (of course), Jonathan Antoine to some extent, and others. This list also includes Jackie Evancho. Let me be extremely clear though, I don't agree with some of Jackie's views on life, which means that I will never buy her CDs from anything that will give her profit. I'll pick them up secondhand and appreciate the beautiful music (those high notes!!) - but I'm not willing to fund the homosexual community. My favourite singer of all time, however, is Amira Willighagen. Quite literally, everything I have heard of her, I enjoy. My favourites are Onse Vader, O Mio Babbino Caro (the audition!!!!!), Caruso (in the music shop), and The Lord's Prayer (from the streaming concert. She was apparently running a temperature of 39C at the time...). Honorary mentions include Nella Fantasia, Moon River, Se and Gabriella's Song.
A note on requests, and fandoms
Give me all the requests you want to see me write; I will take them into consideration.
I read stories from various different fandoms, and may write from any of them sometime. If your request piques my interest, it'll go here and I'll keep it in mind. If it doesn't, I'll reply to you and say it doesn't; if you're a guest or PMs are disabled, please review on some story (though give an actual review, *please*), and the next chapter I'll try to answer. No slash, no M-rating. If you've got a specific request (such as ' Requests for long-form stories aren't expected to be taken, but feel free to offer them to me; I may do so, though more for one-shots than otherwise.
Fandoms I've read in to date are: Blue Castle, Anne of Green Gables, Emily of New Moon, Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park, Chronicles of Narnia, Screwtape Letters, The Great Divorce, Lewis' Space Trilogy, Inheritance Cycle, A Wrinkle in Time, Billabong, and Harry Potter.
Requests for the smaller fandoms (e.g. Blue Castle) will go much higher on my will-do list, in case you're interested. HP, for instance, mayn't really happen since most has already been written.
-More Lucy/Caspian tales, by TheSteadfastNarnian
-'Even a traitor may mend'. Dumbledore performs a complex piece of magic in order to hopefully redeem Draco Malfoy by sending him to Narnia. There he finds himself swapped with Edmund's personal valet. Draco is really annoying about it. And back home, 'Draco Malfoy' is causing chaos by his sudden change. HP/CoN. (I wrote this summary and someone liked it.)
There's a new story in the works! Only one other person in the entire world, Windy Darlington, knows anything at all about it, and that's because I borrowed the name of her OC and wanted to ask. All I will say is it's a Narnia story featuring Lucy during the events of the Dawn Treader! I'm some of the way through the second chapter and will post the first chapter once I'm finished the sixth. It will be called 'The Ship That Changed Everything'. It's really a prequel to my original idea (which I intend to write later) and will refer to/find instrumental a headcanon from the Golden Age which I will hopefully write later again. So: get excited! :)
Yes, I'm a sucker for punishment. I write too much and don't finish enough. Sorry.
Current active stories:
-An Inconvenient Law: Adventures in Narnia 2021; Caspian discovers a law, and events find him a queen. Lucy/Caspian. Based on prompts from Adventures in Narnia 2021. [CoN]
Dormant/on hold/un-planned-updating stories:
-To Save Queen Susan; after the events of the Last Battle, Lucy begs Aslan to bring back Susan, but to do that, they have to return to where they came from: a single, significant change to change the course of history. [CoN]
-Faux Horn; after PC, Peter and Susan are pulled back into Narnia with the horn blown again... but is it really Narnia? Is something deceiving the High King? Canon compliant - I think. [CoN]
-Around the Fire; during LB, Lucy tells a story that makes Susan remember Narnia. Almost canon compliant. I didn't mean it to go on for more than the chapters it has already; I don't know how long it will be. Removed first two from Guide My Way in order to post them in their own story. [CoN]
-Never Narnian; Digory pulled the witch into, not Narnia, but another pool, one remarkably similar to what he'd left. Now the four Pevensie children must defeat the witch within Hogwarts. AU. [HP/CoN]
-Switched; Harry and James, due to a spell, are switched in time during PoA and corresponding year. Not canon compliant. [HP]
-Playing at Love; P&P is adapted into a play and my original characters act in it. Breaking my own rule of only five stories because this is an original work. I believe it complies with FF's guidelines, otherwise I'll take it down if told otherwise. [P&P]
-Wandering Werewolf; werewolves can, during transformations, go anywhere they please (their mind that is, with a body separate to the wolf though still able to turn into one). This is the first time Remus has gone to a different world. Why do you think there were still Wer-Wolves in PC? (HP/CoN crossover) Not to be updated until I've finished at least Never Narnian.
-Somewhere (After the Last Adventure: Polly and Digory); follows Polly and Digory after MN, inspired by the song of the same name (from West Side Story). Others, one for each of the Pevensies, are in the planning stages. 23 chapters in total. Not to be updated until I've finished at least one of my six current works-in-progress.
-Guide My Way; Susan-focused stories, fairly short and fairly depressing. Will be updated if the plot bunnies bite.
-The Hills Are Alive; Golden Age/Old Narnian, at least, one-shots inspired by lines from the song 'The Sound of Music'. 26 chapters total. 2/26 posted.
-20 Moments That Make Up A Romance; focuses on the Friends/others of Narnia, romances told through 20 moments in their life. Requests open. 1: Polly/Digory.
-Tales from Many Realms; tossing characters from other books into Narnia, one-shots. How does this change anything? Requests are very welcome and indeed wanted; if I can I'll write them. Otherwise, this'll stay pretty dormant for now (mainly, I just wanted to write one about - well, read the first chapter and you'll see who!)
-Through A Mirror, Darkly; all is not as it seems. One-shots to be updated if the plot bunnies bite. I want to flip Narnia on its head, perhaps. May include good characters turned bad. Or Narnia itself turned bad. Or, who knows what? Requests welcomed.
-Knowing Him; 'The Healer's Apprentice' story. Rupert is given permission by his father to marry Rose, rather than to be the bishop. Divergence from a point. Canon couples. Currently put on hold because it isn't so popular and I should get to finishing others. If you review, I will put up a chapter for you ASAP!
-A Talking Pet; pre LWW, a Mouse becomes Lucy's pet. Why wasn't she more surprised by Narnia? This is why. Kind of canon compliant. Sketches rather than a full cohesive story.
-The Hundred Years of Winter; Jadis' reign, in the style of the twelve days of Christmas, from someone's point of view. Possible expansion in the future.
-Falling; Susan after PC, falling from Queen Susan to Susan Pevensie.
-Harry James Potter, or, Harold Severus Snape; on the night of his Sorting, Harry is determined that his father will accept him as his son, whatever it takes. Complete and utter parody.
-Remember, But Not To Weigh You Down; Edmund isn't thrown in the Witch's dungeon, and has to cope with resultant scars.
-Remember, And Play Your Part; Edmund loves her, and that is exactly why he must refuse what she wants most.
Please tell me if you find good (and not M-rated) stories about:
-AoGG Walter-lives-and-marries-Una stories
-AoGG Walter-amnesia stories
-amnesia stories that are not just a quick-fix
-Susan/Caspian that isn't just movie-PC retellings
-any good Lucy pairings
-Non-incest Peter/Susan, Edmund/Susan, Peter/Lucy or Edmund/Lucy (where they aren't siblings)
-golden age stories
-main character being a Talking Beast
because I want to read them! :)
Planned/possible stories - working titles only - if interested in one, either mention it in a review or PM me, and it will shift to priority!
-The Dreamer; dreams aren't just the product of your mind, but can be manipulated by the Dreamers. Following Damien's use of foreign water magic, Lady Selene was flung into another world, one where she must decide her loyalty almost instantly, even though she may be the one who turns the war around. Even though she was already uncertain of her loyalties back home. And, even if she intervenes, will anything go the way she intended? Dreamer... or dreamkiller? (HP/Ravenwood Saga by Morgan L. Busse crossover) I highly, highly recommend the Ravenwood saga, for the record. I don't think it's necessary to have read it, to read this story, though.
-A World Apart; inspired by a question on Quora ('What two fictional characters from different universes would be perfect for each other?' which I answered; I would say you can find my answer, but I also don't want my real name being associated with this account, sooo...). Not really sure plot-wise, but HP/CoN crossover, eventual Peter/Luna.
-Yesterday (After the Last Adventure: Peter); follows Peter after PC, inspired by the song of the same name (by... the Seekers? The Beatles? One of them). 18 chapters.
-I Dreamed A Dream (After the Last Adventure: Susan); follows Susan after PC, inspired by the song of the same name (from Les Miserables). 35 chapters.
-The Call (After the Last Adventure: Edmund); follows Edmund after VoDT, inspired by the song of the same name (from Prince Caspian). (Fun fact: I tried listening to this song and got bored halfway through and switched it off. However, I like the lyrics.) 23 chapters.
-My Guardian Angel (After the Last Adventure: Lucy); follows Lucy after VoDT, inspired by the song of the same name (from Elan Catrin Parry's album Angel; song originally in Welsh, by Robat Arwyn, Anfonaf Angel). 40 chapters. [All four of this 'series', if you will, are in the planning stage.]
-I Found You in the Shining of the Stars; an extended version of the Caspian/Ramandu's daughter romance during VoDT. Title found from Francienyc (hope I spelt it right) who took it from Tennyson.
-To Love is to Lose; Theirs was a bittersweet union. She resents being torn from her father's side in order to further a line she holds no love for. He grieves for the woman he can never have. Dark-ish Caspian/Ramandu's daughter. Prior Suspian. AU.
-Both Sides of a Magnet; Digory/Polly's story. Why didn't they marry, either each other or someone else?
-Time Together and Time To Spare; afterwards, there was all the time in the world to explain his action, to the complete satisfaction of both. Calvin/Meg. Title borrowed from the song 'Somewhere'.
-A Moment's Revelation; Louki, after his unexpected discovery on his wedding day. (A Time To Strive)
-Phoenix King; this is what happens if the door to the Wardrobe is closed - locked - while there's someone in there. Edmund, to be precise.
-The Closet; "Shelves in a closet! Happy thought indeed." More than shelves in that there closet, Miss Bennet. There's a whole land.
-The Other Point of View; another explanation for Eustace's attitude at the start of VoDT.
-These Many Times (trilogy/four books); Jill went to Narnia previously. First book about Narnia, second about Experiment House, third about Silver Chair, fourth about, well - 'Narnia has no need of you now. England does.' 'She's alive!'
-Mice Talk; Reep is switched with a certain Rat in another magical world. As a result, he's being gripped very tightly by an enraged Sirius Black. ('What? I don't know anything about him.' 'I said, my name is Reepicheep.' 'For the last time, I'm not. Peter. Pettigrew!')
-I'll Do Anything; Voldy decides to, instead of kill Lily Potter, force her to make an Unbreakable Vow to be his servant and marry Severus Snape, with Harry posing as Sev's son. What would he see in the Mirror?
-Dragon Time; Saphira and Firnen's first egg was sent across the universes to assist the slayer of Voldemort. Guess what the power he knows not is?
-Stop and Think of Me; Golden Age tale following Edmund's fight to free himself of the Witch's taint. Inspired by Think of Me from the Phantom of the Opera.
-Dreaming of What Cannot Be; her fantasy novels are generally admired, but Susan's life is thrown into chaos when the reappearance of her sister (ghost, or dream, or something) shows that they are not pieces of fiction, but buried memories.
-Cordial; three times Lucy's cordial saved those close to her, and one time it didn't.
-Fireflower; at the end of the Golden Age, Lucy's cordial is nearly drained. But when she next picks it up, it is full. Why?
-The Tale of a Horn; where Susan's Horn went from the moment its mistress vanished from that world, to the moment she touched it again.
-Titles of a Monarch; the tale of the times when each of the Four were first given their titles. May be just Magnificent, Gentle, Just and Valiant, or may extend to others.
-A Mouse By Any Other Name; the first Mouse who discovered he could talk decided to put a tradition in place: as each of his descendants grew to their fifth birthday, they would put an entry in his Book. The tradition continued long; it stopped with the only Mouse in their recollection who did not marry and have children. Thus, the last entry in that Book is that of the valiant Mouse Reepicheep.
-You Must Allow Me to Tell You; in which an unlucky circumstance forces our favourite Regency pair to marry much sooner than in canon. With the possibility of Darcy's permanent resentment hanging over her, even though they are bound for life, will Elizabeth be able to control her high temper enough to create a happy marriage?
-How Ardently; Elizabeth and Darcy's child is an interesting challenge that tests the tight bonds they have formed. Possible sequel to above.
-I Admire and Love You; Elizabeth and Darcy reflect on their life together and discover some things they've never realised before. Okay, I've fallen in love with this naming scheme, this is a trilogy now.
-Any Foolish Passion For You; Thornton and Margaret's story, told from his perspective, not hers. Miniseries, not book.
-Shut Them Down And Shut Them Up; inspired by the story on my favourites page, Hogwarts School of Prayer and Miracles. I'm 99% certain it's written satirically, but I want to take up the challenge and write a more believable story in which the characters are Christian, and Voldemort is not. But to do it entirely seriously. Could be fun! Oh, and Hogwarts is probably a church of some kind. But I just read that story and wanted to make a note here so I don't forget. Which is why that story's on my favourites list. It'll be removed once I get closer to doing this.
Ideas for adoption (just tell me you've taken it, so I can read it!)
-The story of Eustace and Jill in Aslan's Country, if they would become romantically involved.
-Walter Blythe survived Courcelette, but has no memory, except of writing a certain poem. Can The Piper lead him home? [I'd love to see it done without him regaining full memories!]
-To escape tales of fantastical dreams at home, Susan Pevensie became a front lines nurse. Walter Blythe is struggling to see the dreams he once had in the cruel war. When they are thrown together, can Su and Wal help each other to once more realise the joy and beauty of dreaming?
-Walter slipped into Narnia, not death. Why, though? What could such a seasoned soldier do, in a land of beauty? And why did he never return?
-Susan/Tirian, both feeling betrayed, he reminds her of Caspian but no prior Suspian
-Susan/Snape (both feeling betrayed, Susan is on the run from magic but he shows her a different sort of magic)
-Susan/Caspian after the train crash (no prior Suspian)
-I was wondering why Swanwhite was named Swanwhite, did she have white hair or something like that, etc., and then something occurred to me that could be done very well or very, very, horribly awfully badly. Take this for an idea: Swanwhite is black. It can happen that to completely white parents back to the nth generation, that a child who outwardly looks African is born. And I just thought, a story could be made very beautiful and interesting in which the king and queen have a child, but she's black, the only black child any Narnian's ever seen, and they're worried but told it's all fine and she's normal, they call her Swanwhite not derogatorily but to remind her to remain as pure as the swans, not saying that white=good, but it just sounds better than merely Swan. She grows up of course feeling a bit insecure and whatever because she's different, but all the people love her dearly. She's Aslan-blessed as both Queen and person, and because of her great beauty he gives her the boon of her reflection being remaining for a year and a day (as is canon). And it reminds people that if they're beautiful on the inside they'll be beautiful on the outside, and no one's racist towards her or anything. And a whole lot of beautiful conversations between Swanwhite and Aslan. And I guess more stuff would happen, but mostly a focus on growing up black in a white-dominated country (well, mainly animals, but still...) and insecurity, and beauty, and all of that... I really want to read a story that handles this well and sensitively, but I'm absolutely not the person to write it as I doubt my ability to handle the fine line between annoyingly pandering and either boring or racist or both. It could start at something like a one-shot of her birth and her worried parents finding Aslan to help with what's going on, but he says it's perfectly normal, etc., etc.
-Dumbledore gave Hermione one last job, which she remembers after the war [think Inheritance-Eragon's memory of the Vault of Souls: turn Draco Malfoy entirely to the Light Side. Ron won't like this, because it involves love potion. [Could turn Dramione or, the one I like better, it simply turns him Light and then kick starts a friendship, without breaking Romione (and it would give Ron an opportunity to shine as a real nice person despite his flaws).]
-How 'bout we just take a bit of plot from Captain Jim and transpose it into Rilla of Ingleside. Except, of course, the captain mentioned is Walter. I suppose anyone who's read both will understand which section I mean; simply put, Jim's family have been told that Jim was killed, his best friend Wally who saw it happen is pretty cut up about it, but Jim was merely buried by an explosion rather than blown up. He's captured, survives, then heads back home (well, to England) with difficulty, and finds his family, yay. We could make Jim and Wally = Walter and Ken, so that Ken saw it happen and all, which could be interesting to how he acts with Rilla (wow, more parallels than I thought) when he writes to her (well, in Captain Jim Wally writes to Norah, Jim's sister who ends up marrying Wally)Then of course Walter gets home, etc., etc. This could be canon compliant as well. And Walter could be alive without breaking the plot, just the entire point of his death. :P
Pairings I like
-Thornton/Margaret (especially in the miniseries!)
-Hagenheim series, all pairings except Gabe/Sophie
-Loukanos/Marah (A Time To Hear/See/Speak/Act/Strive - essentially, apostle Luke and Mary Magdalene. Done masterfully)
-Caspian/Susan (unless done well, such as Windy Darlington's Star Cycle)
Unfathomable by Forever Champion. CoN, a beautiful work that shows the parallels between Christ and Aslan. 1878 words in total, so fairly short. Highly recommend, because it's just - well, go and look at it yourself. It's absolutely underrated. Why, it has only 5 reviews and 19 favourites! It is brilliantly written.
Where the Brook and River Meet by ruby gillis. AoGG, the last in a trilogy (I can't remember the names of the other two) about a few generations down, a girl named Cecilia. What I like about this is the feeling that captures the spirit of LMM. Cee is beautifully characterised as a mixture of all her different ancestors, with her own touch. Bonus is the inclusion of characters from others of LMM's works (such as the Gardiners from Silver Bush).
Those Who Speak by Sentimental Star. CoN. It's a really interesting look at how LWW would be different with one different thing: Edmund is mute. This changes a lot here. Unfortunately, it's not finished and possibly never will be, because it's been over ten years since it was last updated. Maybe if we all join in pleading...?
Star Crossed by Windy Darlington. CoN. I love her expansion of the role of the Stars. It begins with the change that Susan remains in Narnia. It is Susan/Caspian, but I - a notable book purist - don't mind, because it's handled well. Unfortunately, it's not finished yet, being only six chapters in so far, but I already know it's really good (there's the previous books in her Star Cycle, which she's now rewriting, so you can read further in a rougher and unfinished form).
The Tash Files by Violet And Lilies. CoN. If you've read CSL's Screwtape Letters, this is basically that. Only for Narnian creatures, by Tash. It's hilarious! It's also completed. Even just the salutations at the end are hilarious.
PE by... I can't remember who... CoN. I've not read much of it so far - only a chapter or two. But even the naming scheme of the chapters gives me instant interest.
This is not an exhaustive list. I will add more when I get to it.
I have a one-time gift. A beautiful gift that many people are ridiculed for in this day and age. A precious gift that many people throw away. It's called "virginity", and I plan to not waste it on someone who's just gonna dump me later. I choose to be faithful to my future husband, the man who will love me for the rest of my life, and to wait for the wedding day!! If you have chosen to save your one-time gift and are PROUD of your purity, paste this into your profile and add your name to the list: Dearheart, floppyearsthebunny, Narniachick, Jesus' girl 4ever, A Talking Cat,
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you're one of those people who gets excited when they get a new review, copy and paste this in your profile.
If you love Narnia, copy and paste this to your profile!!:)
If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile
A good book is a good friend.
If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you believe Narnia is real, copy and paste this to your profile, and add your name to the list: Miss Pookamonga, breezybrez, Clear Plastic, LucyCrewe11 :)Pearl Bramble of Willowbottom, A Talking Cat,
If annoying people say you will one day out grow your love of fairytales although evidence proves otherwise, copy/paste this onto your profile
If you you think a TV show about the Pevensies during the golden age (Or even during their non-Narnia time In England) would be the best TV show ever and you'd totally watch it every time it was on, Copy/Paste this onto your profile. (Hey if enough of us copy/paste this, maybe someone will actually make it happen someday!)
If you hate it when people are stupid/Jerks enough to put curse words in their profile (What if a little kid clicked on it by mistake or something? What if their grandmother saw it? Wouldn't they be ashamed?) Copy/Paste this to your own (Swear free) Profile and support good speech manners! Today the internet, tomorrow the mall!
If you own a copy of a book (any book, doesn't really matter which one or what kind) signed by its author, copy/paste this to your profile. [Astra the Alien; a good fun little read]
If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you are a person that loves fairy tales, mermaids, knights, swords, bows or anything of the sort, and in spite of what grown-ups tell you of these things, you will always keep on believing; copy, paste this in your profile.
If you are tired of Suspian and think that it is the most ridiculous thing ever, copy and paste this in your profile. [my own note, I will read good Suspian works, though]
If you've ever talked to pretend friends such as book characters, either your own or ones out of stuff you have read (not when you were little), copy and paste this into your profile. (All the time. What is scary is when I answer for them, or when I started talking to the ones out of MY book.)
Have you ever noticed, that, in modern American society...
- everyone preaches tolerance, unless you believe the Bible?
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
-- Girlbender875, Jedi Master Misty Sman-Esay, xXJedi Knight BlazeXx, Writer of the North, Dithinus, Pearl Bramble of Willowbottom, A Talking Cat,
YOUR GUY SIDE:
You love hoodies. - well, I use hoodies and occasionally use the hood. I like the central pocket. That counts.
Dogs are better than cats. - no explanation needed.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
Sad movies suck.
Sleep with your socks on at night. - in winter, yes.
YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You go to your mom for advice. - she is also sensible.
You like wearing jewelry. - eh, some.
For the record I *am* a girl. Just not a stereotypical one according to this! They forgot the girls who want to marry, be stay-at-home mums, would give up their careers in a heartbeat for that, ‘cause that’s me. And the caring type (well I better hope I’m caring given that I’m a student in the medical field).
~The following is a copy-and-paste from Bar Sira, best understood if you have seen what it modifies on other profiles~
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
As in thrown onto the streets, as in sent to the Daughters of Mary, or as in no longer indulged in your reluctance to leave home after she learned what you and Sheila had been doing in the spare bedroom?
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
Okay, let me just follow the thought process here: “On the one hand, I could repent of the lie I’ve lived, return to my Father’s bosom, and incidentally regain the respect of my fellow-citizens. On the other hand, I could plunge yet deeper into sin and blame it on society.” And people wonder why the moral authority of this movement fails to stir us.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
You have done well, and it shall be credited to you.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
And I’ll bet that, when you got to the Judgment Seat, you thanked Heaven for small mercies. (Imagine the alternative: “I see here that you died in your homosexual paramour’s arms. Would you care to explain how that’s compatible with a state of grace?”)
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
Well, that’s how things are sometimes, sweetheart. I know it’s hard, but hopefully some day you’ll understand.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
Three rousing cheers. Now tell me that your attackers got precisely the sentence that their assault merited, and my joy will be complete.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
Don’t try to pin this one on Lady Luck, pal. You chose despair.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
Bit abrupt of her, I agree. She should have first said something like, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, I don't believe in assisting that kind of behavior." (Or did she, and you chose to omit that part?)
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
If this means what I think it does: How about bypassing the urinals and using a stall, like a civilized person?
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
Well, they’re not wrong…
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
And then you told them that you’d repented and didn’t do that sort of thing anymore, and everything was groovy again. (Hey, I can dream, right?)
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
So… what are you asking, exactly? For there to be a whole bunch of abusive homosexual men in your area so you can have company? Or for a group of women who have been foully mistreated by the most important men in their lives to let a man intrude on their healing process, because inclusion?
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
Ah. An Englishman. Yes, you are most unfortunate, Signor.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
And your movement dares to compare itself to the marchers at Selma? This is like Rosa Parks saying, “I am the woman who moved to the back of the bus because they said the front was for white people.”
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
What society do you live in, and why do you value its approval so much?
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I see. And you want me to believe that you’re a common social problem, do you? That emergency medical professionals everywhere, the instant they learn things about their patients of which they disapprove, throw in the towel and let them croak out of sheer callousness? My mother was an EMT, and I say you’re a liar.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
Confession is at 7 to 8 P.M. Wednesday, noon to 1 P.M. Friday, and 3:30 to 4:30 P.M. Saturday. See you then. (Be sure to mention how you publicly slandered the Church and acquiesced in a group identity based on your sins.)
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
No, sweetie, you’re the person who has mistaken a disordered emotional attachment for the greatest of the theological virtues. Easy enough to do, of course, in a world as confused as ours, but you really might want to get it straightened out before you go any further down this road.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong.
And re-post this if you believe that theostygiophobia (from θεοστυγεῖς, Rom. 1:30) is unworthy of your baptismal dignity.
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