The REAL Mrs. Jasper Cullen
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Joined 01-14-08, id: 1474754, Profile Updated: 02-17-10
Author has written 1 story for Twilight.

Well hello.

Right now I am working on my very first Twilight fanfic. It's called A Poison That Leaves No Trace. You should go R&R it... any and all reviews would be extremely appreciated!

I really don't have much to say, so for now that's pretty much it.

Later!

Think About It...

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

if you blow in a dogs face he'll get mad at you, but take him for a car ride, and the first thing he does is stick his head out the window!

if two wrongs dont make a right, try three

whoever said nothing's impossible never tryed slamming a revoling door!

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother steven. or my younger sister ho-chan-chu. but i think it's steven.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back!

there are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant.

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

if quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead?'

whose cruel idea was it for the words 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

how is it possible to have a civil war?

if a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

Can you make a candle out of your earwax?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?

Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Can you get cornered in a round room?

Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Why don't the hairs on your arms get split ends?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?

If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?

Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?

Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?

Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?

Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?

If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are?

Can bald men get lice??

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In The Rough by Hippielover459 reviews
They were her boys. She was their girl. They were all best friends. Together forever. After the Ray Brower adventure, then what? What happens after? Find out here.
Stand By Me - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 63,144 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 4/11/2012 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Complete
Heaven Help Me by Alexander-In-Autumn reviews
Bella needed a friend. What she got was a hot gaurdian angel named Edward, who's determined to make her happy. How long will he stay on Earth to complete his job? Evil Mike, sweet Edward, shy Gothic Bella.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 21 - Words: 102,019 - Reviews: 1649 - Favs: 927 - Follows: 906 - Updated: 11/26/2008 - Published: 8/11/2007 - Edward, Bella
I Don't Bite, I Swear by o.O.o.Emmett.Is.Mine.o.O.o reviews
After he split up with Rosalie, Emmett wasn't able to truly smile. That is, until he found someone to smile about. EmmettOC, dedicated to my BFF, Alice Cullens.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 24,643 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/7/2008 - Published: 1/12/2008
A Poison That Leaves No Trace reviews
What do you get when you have a moody teenage girl, a hormonal, hyper-active teenage boy, and a nice, big family of vampires? A whole lot of crazy. E&B, Em&R, J&OC, A&OC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,436 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 2/17/2010 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Jasper
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