Author has written 34 stories for Sonic the Hedgehog, Jackie Chan Adventures, Courage: The Cowardly Dog, Jak and Daxter, Resident Evil, Lilo & Stitch, Teen Titans, Angry Beavers, Over the Hedge, Parappa the Rapper, Viva Piñata, Super Smash Brothers, Yin Yang Yo, Cartoon X-overs, My Little Pony, Portal, Looking Glass Wars Trilogy, and Dan Vs..
Song that best describes me: ("Unwell" by Matchbox 20)
And now for my favorite two Q&A's from "Ask Satan!" (blindwino.com)
Dear hell spawn,
I recently discovered a large second opening directly above my anus...and it can speak ancient Latin! Should I just ignore his unholy ramblings, or what? - double o anus
Dear Double O,
Don't worry, I'll be sending you another one as a translator. Just be happy I don't have it swearing in Swahili, or chattering in Chinese. Everyone likes Latin.
Sing it brother,
I have always been curious as to where babies come from. They seem to just appear from nowhere. My mother tells me I came in a black plastic bag she found at the end of the street one night. Is this where most babies from, or are they dumped down the chimney by vultures like my little brother?
A Curious 9-year-old in MD
This was a matter best answered by your school before they had to start teaching ignorance and abstinence, but I'll give it a shot. When two people love each other very much, they live long happy lives without children. If they don't love each other very much, they have children so they can focus all of their confused emotions on something defenseless. Adults have babies by getting drunk enough to stand each other, thinking of other people, and clumsily groping in the dark like beached sea turtles. The vultures are just relish. I hope that clears things up.
Serve me, And now my other fav quotes:
And now my other fav quotes:
"Being a man takes alot of drinkin' and fightin' and screwin' and whorin'! And more drinkin' and some more fightin' and alot more whorin'!"
"Ah, the old 'can't afford to visit my sister' trick gets them everytime. Why can't they ever figure out that's me in a dress?"
"Thousands of years ago, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was a great red ape named Sir Santa of Claus. He would construct pointless toys for his amusement out of animal bones and his own waste. He would then hurl them at fellow apes with crinkled hands, regardless of their behaviour the previous year. These toys were burried as witches and deficated upon. They were then thrown at predators who were awakened by the sound of laughing children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year, for many were killed.
"I have rebuilt our nation! I HAVE REBUILT OUR PRIDE! Our enemies are being re-educated. On this day a new order has begun! On this day, those who stand to divide us will be our worst! ON THIS DAY, THEY WILL REALIZE OUR VICTORY IS IMINENT!
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
"When I said you should find women that share your intrests, Master Bruce, this isn't what I had in mind. But it's a start."
Go to Dandyandcompany.com and to the fan art section! I got my pics there and my story there! I am a hit! Check out Rex's cameo and my Total Chaos submissions!
I am a A Rift Dragon!
If you all don't know my name by now your seriously lacking in attention my friends...
It’s bad enough that I have three personalities, but the fact that they are completely different is the most frightening part! But the scariest thing of all is, I'm NORMAL!
My personality is: kind, nice, and helpful. A gentelman sometimes who refuses to not have fun. A hard worker when need be.
Rex: Makes jokes at all the wrong moments, makes off-color remarks and wrong statements. Never shuts up and thrives on pop culture as his refrences to everyday life. The side of me that annoys people.
Dark Sonic: My Rift Dragon side where anyone the pisses me off will die a thousand deaths! This personality is a combination of one of my hobbies, and my favorite icon. This character enables me to do the impossible while making it believable.
I’m an inhabinat of the Shire know as Indianapolis, IN. This state is known for corn, but I haven't seen any. INDY 500 baby!
I don’t talk to myself, I talk between my three personas. So technically, I’m not talking to myself. And if anyone else listens, does that mean I'm now talking to them?
Here are some fun facts about me:
Rabid Sonic Fan- Since I got a Genesis in 1991, Sonic has been my biggest obsession! The blue blur is never forgotten, and rivals that whats’isname plumber any day. 10 years and counting! Now I’ve matured and so has the comic series. I grew up with Sonic. I know tons of stuff about Sonic, so much that you think that's all I know.
Resident Evil Nut- Ever have the feeling that something horrible beyond imagination was lurking in the shadows. Did you think it was the boogeyman, or a new Tyrant? If you picked the later, welcome aboard! Umbrella is slowly taking over the world and we don’t know it! (“Hopefully it isn’t Chris’”!) Ask me anything about RE and I will answer! Resident Evil 4 is ultra-mega badass and RE5 looks to put even THAT to shame!
Rabid Courage the Cowardly Dog fan- SAVE THE SHOW! Go to www.mimisk8.com, where fellow author Tortured Artist has a petition to save the show. Show those Network bigwigs whose the TRUE boss!
And the rest is history!
My Hit List (er. uh...buddy list:)
And a bunch of other guys and gals, of which even if they stopped by once, it’s cool.
Super Cool Sonic Fic- Involving alot of classic locations and a few that only diehard Sonic fans know about, this is going to be a pretty cool fic. Sonic reveals a dark secret and takes on the entire Brotherhood of Metallix in the most mysterous place in Sonic gaming history! (And I'm not talking Hidden Palace Sonic 2!)
Dual Story James Bond fic- After listening to the Propellerhead's remix of "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" and playing the game "GoldenEye: Rouge Agent" I got the idea for this cool story involving two different stroylines that will intersect into a big war.
Various Conker fics- "Conker: Live and Reloaded" gave me ideas. A crossover with Halo, and a crossover with Doom. I could put it all together and call it "Hell-No!"
So that is me, and my mind! Welcome to it, and it's a long stay! Hit me up on E-Mail or MSN Instant Messagner!
"It seems there's an out of control party on the planet Snorderline, with hookers, underage groupies, illigimate children, and hundereds of free loading posse members. Neghiboring planets have already called the cops 14 times."
"Wait a minuet! HECK hound?"
"The universe is a yawning chasm filled with emptiness and the purile meanderings of sentience."
"How can they put this much mayonase on tunafish and expect people to eat it?"
"There's nothing I hate more than a smartass automobile."
If you are reading this you have overstayed your welcome. Go read Jonathan R's bio or something.