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90% OF TEEN WOULD HAVE A BREAKDOWN IF JUSTIN BEIBER WAS STANDING ON THE EDGE OF THE TOWER READY TO JUMP. COPY AND PASTE THIS IS YOUR ONE OF THE 10% OF PEOPLE THAT WOULD BRING A LAWN CHAIR AND POPCORN AND SCREAM "DIE BITCH!!"

Percy Jackson puns

Percy:boy there is something.. fishy ..going on here

Annabeth:yes it would be.. wise ..to avoid trouble

Nico:what are you doing.stop.

Jason:wow,what a.. Shocking ..development

Leo:Things are.. Heating up

Nico:Zhang make them stop

Frank:Alright guys you heard Nico I guess I have to be .. frank ..with you

Nico you're all idiots

Piper:Well I think its quite

Nico:don't you dare

Piper:Charming

Hazel:Why these puns are pure.. gold ..

Nico:You're all dead to me

The Percy Jackson Pledge:

I promise to remember Percy
Whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
Whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
For Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
Whenever I see a sign that says "free pony ride"
I promise to remember Tyson
Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
Whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
Whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
Whenever a limo passes my car
Yes, I promise to remember PJO
Wherever I may go
So all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Olympians know!

Mummy, Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool.

And when he pulled the trigger back, it shot with a crack.

Mummy I was a good girl. I went to school, got straight A's, I even got the gold.

But Mummy, when I went to school that day I never said goodbye.

I'm sorry Mummy that I had to go, but please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother.

Mummy, please tell Daddy that I love him very much, and tell Chris my boyfriend that it wasn't just a crush,

and tell my dear little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandma that I'll be waiting

for her now, and tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best.

Mummy, I'm not the first, I'm not better than the rest.

Mummy, tell my teachers that I won't show up for class, and never forget this and please don't let this pass.

Mummy why did it have to be me, no one deserves this. Mummy warn the others, I left without a kiss.

And Mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry.

I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but Mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest.

I ran as fast as I could when I heard the crack, Mummy listen to me if you would.

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new.

I guess I'm not going with daddy on that trip to the zoo.

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid. I wanted to be an actress, Mummy I wanted to live.

But Mummy I must go now, the time is getting late. Tell my Chris I'm sorry I had to cancel our date.

I love you Mummy, I always have. I know you know it's true.

Mummy all I wanted to say is, "Mummy I love you."

In memory of the Columbine students that were lost, please if you would, pass this around.

When you were 5, your mom gave you a ice cream cone. You thank her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.

When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming class to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.

When you were 10, your mom payed for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.

When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thanked her by talking on the phone all night.

When you were 14, your mom payed for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.

When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.

When you were 17, your mom drove you to the mall and gave you her credit card. You thanked her by maxing it out.

When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.

When you were 20, your mom drove you to collage. You thanked her by saying good-bye to her outside the drom so you wouldn't have to say bye in front of your friends.

When you were 26, your mom payed for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.

When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents became to children.

Then, one day, she quietly died and everything you did came crashing down on you.

If YOU love your mom, re-post this and if you don't, you won't care if your mom dies, will you?

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile.

Her name was Aurora
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
" God, why? Why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
" You deserve to die
You worthless pest! "

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

copy and paste this if you are against child abuse and want to kick all of the abusers butts cause you hate 'em!

I went to a party, Mom
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom
So I had a Sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didnt drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mom
Something I expected least.

Now Im lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mom, his voice seems far away.

My own bloods all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

Im sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave,
And when I go to heaven,
Put Daddys Girl on my grave.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
Id still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom
Im getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And Im so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say I love you, Mom
So I love you and good-bye.

Copy and paste this on your profile if you want drinking and driving to stop.

A black man sat down at a counter in some random store. A white man was sitting behind him. The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you, sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Copy and paste this on your profile if you are against racism.

Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.

When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you." she means it.

When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.

Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.

The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.

The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".

If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.

If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.

Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.

Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.

So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.

If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.

Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.

Have you ever wondered:

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin...

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish-washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when

they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe,

why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

Rearranging The Letters ;)

DORMITORY:

When you rearrange the letters:

DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:

When you rearrange the letters:

BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:

When you rearrange the letters:

MOON STARER

DESPERATION:

When you rearrange the letters:

A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:

When you rearrange the letters:

HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:

When you rearrange the letters:

HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:

When you rearrange the letters:

CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:

When you rearrange the letters:

IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:

When you rearrange the letters:

LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:

When you rearrange the letters:

ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:

When you rearrange the letters:

IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:

When you rearrange the letters:

THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:

When you rearrange the letters:

TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:

WOMAN HITLER

Amazing Quotes:

The quality of life is not determined by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

Attempting to give a damn . . . . Unable to give a damn. Stopping . . . . Process failed. Damn not given.

I'm not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The trouble with alarm clocks is that they always go off when you're asleep.

Real girls aren't perfect, and perfect girls aren't real.

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have. (I don't have ADD, I have SAS: short attention span)

What hair color do they put down on the driver's licenses of a bald man?

I'm not littering . . . just donating to the Earth.

It's funny - the people who want quiet are always the loudest getting people to shut up.

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you... you're just not laughing.

I used up all my sick days at work so I'm calling in dead.

Be nice to your kids. They choose your nursing home.

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

Note to self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Please don't drop cigarette buds on the floor, the cockroaches are getting cancer.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You know the speed of light, so what's the speed of dark?

If you want to look young and thin, hang around with fat old people.

If Wal-Mart is lowering their prices every day, how come the store isn't free yet?

Sarcasm doesn't work on a sarcastic person.

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Don't think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

Screw fire and save matches!!

Hippopotomonstrousaequipodaliophobic - Fear of long words.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Borrow money from pessimists- they don't expect to get it back!

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

One way to find out if something works: push all the buttons.

I hear your silence loud and clear.

According to the latest figures, 43% of all statistics are utterly worthless.

Don't steal. The government hates the competition.

If at first you don't succeed, change the rules.

Tell the truth and run.

Smile; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Friends come and go while enemies never do; they just multiply.

Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.

Generally, generalizations are wrong.

Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make ye mad.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be research.

Life is like a box of chocolates - it's full of nuts.

The truth is out there. So what are you doing here?

Whatever you are, be a good one.

You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.

You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.

The difficulty is not so great as to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for.

Belief gets in the way of learning.

If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?

When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear.

Enjoy every minute of life. There's plenty of time to be dead.

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.

We don't live in the world of reality, we live in the world of how we perceive reality.

If God had intended Man to smoke, he would have set him on fire.

A single death is a tragedy. A million deaths is a statistic.

Have the courage to live. Anyone can die.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff ... I laugh even harder.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill very many people.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.

If someone ever says, 'It's always the last place you look'... reply with, 'well duh, why the hell would I keep looking if I found it?'

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Why in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Don't waste a minute not being happy. If one window closes, run to the next window or break down a door.

I used to have a life but, that was before video games!

Don't look for inspiration. Start working and inspiration will come to you.

Take risks, if you win you will be happy; if you lose you will be wise.

There are 3 kinds of people, those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who don't know what the heck is happening.

The evening news always starts off by saying Good Evening and then proceeds to tell you exactly why it isn't.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, and dark side, and holds the universe together.

Why are wrong numbers never busy?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected' make the unexpected expected?

Normality will be restored as soon as we're sure what it is.

STRESS: A condition brought on by over-riding the bodies desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

Never doubt the power of an extremely pissed off woman

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over

When a finger points at the moon, the imbecile looks at the finger.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to change it every 2 months.

Cynics are made, not born.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it? . . . . Next week.

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

I’m not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

My mind works like lightning . . . . one brilliant flash and it's gone.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't underestimate the power of funny. It moves mountains.

Never say that! Never! Run before you walk! Fly before you crawl! Keep moving forward! Because if we fail, I'd rather fail really hugely. All or nothing!

Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them more.

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Growing old is mandatory . . . growing UP is optional . . .

When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.

If you find any poisonous plants in your tea, just to let you know, it wasn't me.

Don't pop my bubbles. I'll get depressed.

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somehow, somewhere, a duck is watching you.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

If your heart was really broken . . . you'd be dead so shut up.

People say "Guns don't kill people, People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you stood there and yelled "Bang", I don't think you'd kill too many people.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

They laugh because we're losers . . . . We laugh because they just figured it out.

The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps: fun to watch but not too bright.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I believe you should live each day as if it were your last, which is why I don't do my laundry. I mean, come on, who would wanna wash clothes on the last day of their life?

Silence is golden . . . duct tape is silver.

When life gives you lemons . . .
make grape juice, and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Be insane- well behaved people never made history.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

To the world you are just one person, but to one person, you're the world.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he took a wrong turn, got lost, and was too stubborn to ask for directions.

It's always in the last place you look . . . of course it is, why would I keep looking for it?

Happiness is just around the corner! . . . Too bad the world is round . . .

I can only please one person a day. Today's not your day, and tomorrow's not looking good either.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!

If I don't write to empty my mind, I go mad.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that thing up in two seconds. When I play Rock, Paper, Scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you *!"

Rock beats paper. Always. But since we live in a world where Paper may beat rock, use Cannonball; it makes a big hole in paper.

I hate it when people say there is no such thing as normal. There IS such thing, as normal means average, what is considered to be most common. Normal. Of course, I'm not normal at all so I have no idea what I'm on about. If you want to learn how to explode things, crush things, cause things harm, or whatever random things you need, I'm your girl. If you want to know about anything that you will actually USE in life, go somewhere else.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can!

Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it . . .

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?

"Sir, we're surrounded!"
"Excellent, we can attack in any direction!"

Deck of Cards

It was quiet that day, the guns and the mortars, and land mines for some reason hadn't been heard.

The young soldier knew it was Sunday, the holiest day of the week.

As he was sitting there, he got out an old deck of cards and laid them out across his bunk.

Just then an army sergeant came in and said, 'Why aren't you with the rest of the platoon?'

The soldier replied, 'I thought I would stay behind and spend some time with the Lord.'

The sergeant said, 'Looks to me like you're going to play cards.'

The soldier said, 'No, sir. You see, since we are not allowed to have Bibles or other spiritual books in this country,

I've decided to talk to the Lord by studying this deck of cards.'

The sergeant asked in disbelief, 'How will you do that?'

'You see the Ace, Sergeant? It reminds me that there is only one God.

The Two represents the two parts of the Bible, Old and New Testaments

The Three represents the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

The Four stands for the Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke and John .

The Five is for the five virgins, there were ten, but only five of them were glorified.

The Six is for the six days it took God to create the Heavens and Earth.

The Seven is for the day God rested after making His Creation.

The Eight is for the family of Noah and his wife, their three sons and their wives -- the eight people God spared from the flood that destroyed the Earth.

The Nine is for the lepers that Jesus cleansed of leprosy. He cleansed ten, but nine never thanked Him.

The Ten represents the Ten Commandments that God handed down to Moses on tablets made of stone.

The Jack is a reminder of Satan, one of God's first angels, but he got kicked out of heaven for his sly and wicked ways and is now the joker of eternal hell.

The Queen stands for the Virgin Mary.

The King stands for Jesus, for he is the King of all kings.

When I count the dots on all the cards, I come up with 365 total, one for every day of the year.

There are a total of 52 cards in a deck; each is a week - 52 weeks in a year.

The four suits represent the four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter.

Each suit has thirteen cards -- there are exactly thirteen weeks in a quarter.

So when I want to talk to God and thank Him, I just pull out this old deck of cards and they remind me of all that I have to be thankful for.'
The sergeant just stood there. After a minute, with tears in his eyes and pain in his heart, he said, 'Soldier, can I borrow that deck of cards?'

Please let this be a reminder and take time to pray for all of our soldiers who are being sent away, putting their lives on the line fighting for US.

Prayer for the Military.

Please keep the wheel rolling. It will only take a few seconds of your time, but it'll be worth it to read on...

Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.

Protect them.

Bless them and their families.

I ask this in the name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.

Amen.

When you read this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our servicemen and women all around the world.

There is nothing attached, but this can be very powerful.

Of all the gifts you could give a Soldier, prayer is the very best one.

Do not stop the wheel, please -- just send this on.

Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed this psas it on!

Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:

Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.

Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.

Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.

Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)

Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.

Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.

Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.

Chiron. Trainer of heroes.

Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.

Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.

Olympus. Home of the gods.

Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.

Atlas. Zoe's father.

Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.

Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)

Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.

Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)

Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.

Octavian. Camp Jupiter's royal a-hole.

Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.

Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.

Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.

Iapetus. Percy's Titan friend who is called Bob!

Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.

Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.

Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Camp Jupiter

(Taken from StellaHunterOfArtemis's profile. I changed like none of them.)