hanktalkin
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 02-02-21, id: 14773188, Profile Updated: 04-20-21
Author has written 36 stories for Team Fortress 2, Overwatch, Red vs. Blue, Undertale, Dead by Daylight, Homestuck, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect.

Hello people in the internet, welcome to my musings: hanktalkin. Yes you read right, I spell talkin with no g. That is to show I have attitude. Hanktalkin will not be afraid to shake things up. I am a rule breaker.

You can find me on Tumblr and Archive of Our Own under the same username.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Transcendent Humanity by Solaris242 reviews
Humanity never developed FTL. The Prothean archives contained no technology, no Element Zero, just a warning. Isolated from the rest of the galaxy for two thousand years, restricted to their only system, how will humanity have changed when they first meet the Turians? AU, alternate history of humanity and First Contact.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 27 - Words: 79,685 - Reviews: 2879 - Favs: 7,806 - Follows: 8,442 - Updated: 2/16 - Published: 5/7/2013 - Complete
Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 36064 - Favs: 28,009 - Follows: 20,470 - Updated: 3/14/2015 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Every Planet We Reach Is Dead by Ofdensocks reviews
BLUSoldierxREDDemo I love you, but what are we going to do? Sometimes the real battles don't begin until after the war is over.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 816 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/14/2011 - Demoman, Soldier - Complete
Demo and Soldier: Fifty Themes by Ofdensocks reviews
Bromance is sweet. WAR is hell. Rated for mild language.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,704 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/5/2011 - Demoman, Soldier - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

By the Roots reviews
Twenty-two months later, my hard earned ponytail fitting snugly through my hat, I wondered if Soldier knew, somehow. [Scout POV]
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,715 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/8 - Scout, Soldier, Spy - Complete
Sleeper Hit
When it came to going undercover, the Demoman wasn't exactly Spy's first choice.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,497 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/16 - [Spy, Demoman] - Complete
Progenesis, Ninefold
Each member of BLU team, and their first kills. Abridged version.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,584 - Favs: 1 - Published: 4/16 - Complete
12069 and the Power of Wishful Thinking
A Homestuck/Overwatch fusion, specifically a Trollstuck crossover centering around the Aspirant Aleksa Zaryan and her friends. Due to this site's policies on pesterlogs as a format, significant portions of this text have been removed. Please view the original on AO3 (12069 and the Power of Wishful Thinking) to get the full experience.
Crossover - Homestuck & Overwatch - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 38,719 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/7 - Published: 2/12 - [Amélie L./Widowmaker, Sombra/Olivia C., G. Reyes/Reaper] Aleksandra Z./Zarya
Confession
The Soldier has a confession
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,114 - Published: 2/19 - Demoman, Soldier - Complete
The First Lindwurm reviews
Something's up with the Pyro
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,952 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/17 - Demoman, Pyro - Complete
These Hands Have Done a Mighty Violence
Demo lost this War years ago. Alas, as long as the music plays, we dance.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,118 - Published: 2/17 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
War is the Fourth Planet from the Sun reviews
Demo stumbles upon an enemy Soldier, beaten and tortured by the Demoman's team. The right thing to do is leave him. The right thing to do is turn around and pretend he saw nothing at all.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,797 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/13 - [Demoman, Soldier] Spy - Complete
The Transitive Property of Curses and the Like
A wizard takes on an apprentice. The wizard is not a willing participant in this exchange.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,833 - Published: 2/13 - Demoman, Merasmus - Complete
Interface reviews
I'm the God-Emperor of the Universe, and this is my Favorite Store on the Citadel!
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,878 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/13 - Harbinger, Clone Shepard - Complete
Keep in a Cool Dry Place reviews
Tavish's good eye is going. Decades of rocket blasts have taken their toll on Jane's tinnitus. Tavish's bad knee hurts more often than not these days, and both of them have trouble bringing in the groceries anymore. A couple of old, past their prime mercs live out their days, but at least they're slowly breaking down together.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,231 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 2/13 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Disapprobation
n. Moral disapproval; condemnation. Tavish's life has a lot of shouldn'ts
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,020 - Published: 2/12 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Parthenogenetic reviews
The tank is stored on Lazarus station instead of Minuteman. Shepard stumbles, fumbles, bumbles into a clone pod. Shenanigans ensue.
Mass Effect - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,397 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/12 - Miranda L., Shepard, Clone Shepard - Complete
Jane Doe and the Ten Thousand Hats
let me blab at you about pyro and solly both using their respective pieces of headware as comfort items. because i will.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,982 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/12 - Pyro, Soldier - Complete
The Rumor Come Out: Does the Old Gods is Trans? reviews
Four warriors, three days, a journey in the Western Approach. Another journey occurs simultaneously.
Dragon Age - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,145 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/12 - Cassandra P., Blackwall, Iron Bull, Adaar - Complete
Yarn Interpolation reviews
I am a very successful author. I have a loving wife. We live together in a stylishly modern house that is in no way like my father's stylishly modern house, and the two of us have a cat. My loving wife leaves me because I am too emotionally distant.
Homestuck - Rated: K+ - English - Spiritual/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 10,116 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/12 - Rose L. - Complete
The Church Bunch reviews
two tired, bisexual, single dads talk about their feelings and mabye kiss and stuff
Red vs. Blue - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,224 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11 - [L. Tucker, L. Church/Alpha] - Complete
Linchpin
linch·pin [n] : one that serves to hold together parts or elements that function as a unit
Dead by Daylight - Rated: K+ - English - Horror - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,985 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/11 - Complete
Programmed Cell Death
Robots (Don't) Love: a Hanahaki Disease Story
Overwatch - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,430 - Published: 2/10 - Aleksandra Z./Zarya - Complete
My Friends…And Omega reviews
AU where the AI are Church's headmates.
Red vs. Blue - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,176 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/10 - [L. Church/Alpha, L. Tucker] Carolina - Complete
Hopeless Dummy Says What
7 times Soldier said something kinda gay and 1 time he said something really gay
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,857 - Published: 2/9 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Temmie and Chara Go to White Castle reviews
One of them is a Pollyanna emotionally stunted from years of abuse. The other eats paper. Together, America's favorite duo takes the Undergound by storm. (Swapfell)
Undertale - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,238 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9 - Chara, Temmie - Complete
Conscience
am i pregegnant or am i okay?
Overwatch - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,613 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/8 - [Amélie L./Widowmaker, G. Reyes/Reaper, Sombra/Olivia C.] Moira O. - Complete
The World is Round, Honey reviews
(Keep running away, you'll end up right back where you started.) At twenty-six years old, Sombra decided she wanted to join the most powerful terrorist organization in the world. At twenty-seven years old, she decided she wanted to blow them up too.
Overwatch - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 10 - Words: 36,557 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/8 - [Amélie L./Widowmaker, G. Reyes/Reaper, Sombra/Olivia C.] - Complete
Finders, Keepers, and Every Schmuck In-between
"It's always in the last place you look" is such an inane saying. It'd be quite foolish to keep looking for something after you'd already found it, wouldn't it?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Crime/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,759 - Published: 2/7 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Don't Lose Your Head Over It reviews
A fic centered entirely on the WAR! and the effects on it its two participants.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,960 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/7 - Demoman, Soldier - Complete
One Hundred Minus a Day reviews
Takes place during season 11
Red vs. Blue - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 853 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/6 - Carolina, Epsilon - Complete
Best (Soul)Mates
A collection of soulmate AUs.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,196 - Published: 2/6 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Triptych
3 Times the Talon Trio Died, and 1 Time They Actually Got Their Act Together and Died as a Team
Overwatch - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,092 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/5 - [Amélie L./Widowmaker, G. Reyes/Reaper, Sombra/Olivia C.] - Complete
Thick Enough to Cut
Demo and Soldier are good for each other. Too bad the Eyelander is the only one who can see that.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,729 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/5 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Unplugged
Slow Burn Zarynx post Searching
Overwatch - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,740 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/4 - Aleksandra Z./Zarya - Complete
Amélie Has Houseguests Who are Both Terrible at Being Normal Humans
The thing Widowmaker wants most is to spend ONE weekend at her estate, alone and able to sort through her thoughts. Maybe even relax, sleep in. That sort of thing.
Overwatch - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,135 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/4 - [Amélie L./Widowmaker, G. Reyes/Reaper, Sombra/Olivia C.] - Complete
Builder's League United Can't Keep a Damn Secret
Four times BLU team found out Demoman is in love with Soldier, and three times he told them of his own volition
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,600 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/3 - [Demoman, Soldier] Spy - Complete
Next Time You Think of Beautiful Things
modernish AU where Demo owns a tattoo parlor and Soldier is a customer who keeps coming back for increasingly stupid tattoos. Demo's not sure if he should become an enabler or not. based on a now removed piece of art
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,455 - Favs: 1 - Published: 2/3 - [Demoman, Soldier] Scout - Complete
Counting
you know what's dumb? using fireworks as a metaphor for kissing
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,262 - Published: 2/2 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete
Yes, I'm A Were
tfw you go camping with your werewolf bf and he runs off into the forst for no reason but you don't know he's a werewolf so you're just like ?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,371 - Published: 2/2 - [Demoman, Soldier] - Complete