CalicotheCat
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Joined 01-17-08, id: 1477619, Profile Updated: 10-05-13
Author has written 56 stories for Alias Smith & Jones.

Wha-hay! Found a profile page!

Now what to say?

I am a modest genie-puss who likes dimpled ex-outlaws, bossing folk around, dining, wining, whining and repining.

I also like feedback!! Icon of huge beaming cheshire cat grin. But, hey - me and the other million writers here, huh?

And, just in case the spelling left anyone in any doubt - I am from the English side of the Herring Pond.

Update October 2013

Wonderful as fanfiction . net is, it does tend to scatter your stories every which way on the ASJ pages, so...

I have started a blog for my stories at:

http://calicoasjstories.wordpress.com

So far it has 117 stories - pauses for you to gasp.

It includes 53 ASJ childhood stories - over forty of 'em mine - not here on fanfic.net

So far, that is my entire magnificent octopus.

If you like that kind of thing and need to find something to fill in the longeurs - or long hours - at work, feel free to scamper over.

[It is NOT a pretty blog - I am an IT ignoramus. Still, too many pictures would only distract you from the text, huh? ]

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Local Conditions reviews
Not a new story - in fact the second one I ever wrote. However, when doing a little fanfic housekeeping I found I had forgotten to post it here. Join the boys as they accompany a party of 'dudes' from back east on a western adventure. Includes both springing cougars and a very civilised jail break - I spoil you, I really do.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 18,600 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2013 - Complete
Whiskey Galore reviews
Despite being brothers in law, Armenderiz and Big Mac are still feuding. Despite knowing better, our boys are still getting involved. Join them all for light hearted battle over who finally takes possession of - Whiskey Galore. Was originally part of a Virtual Season.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 10,908 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/15/2013 - Complete
Vaulting Ambition reviews
Hannibal Heyes can't keep his mind off the bank's new vault. Can Kid Curry keep his partner's feet on the straight and narrow? Previously a Virtual Season episode. Even more previously - a gratefully pinched plot from 'Monk'.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,609 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/15/2013 - Complete
A Horse of a Different Colour reviews
Heyes and Curry - with a little help from Diamond Jim - help Alice and Kurt deal with a loan shark, a little race fixing, and a right royal VIP. (Originally a VS - and another one blatently cribbing from Hustle.)
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,797 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
A Grizzly End reviews
Heyes and Curry discover there are predators more dangerous than grizzlies to deal with when they act as guides to a group of rich tourists. (Originally a VS. Anyone believing they spot elements of CSI Miami and Deadwood - is right!)
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,160 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
A Quiet Night In reviews
When Alias Smith & Jones was cancelled in America, a suggestion floated that, since it was the most popular import ever shown on BBC2, the Beeb might commission its own version. It never happened. But – if it had…? Imagine a modest budget, no guest stars, no horses, a single set. Sit back with a nice cup of tea and enjoy – A Quiet Night In.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,406 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Saving The Old Joanna reviews
Originally a Virtual Season story - as if you couldn't tell! Bien-venue to the Bien Venue as our boys help a shapely saloon keeper stay in business...
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,514 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Stealing A March reviews
Kid and Heyes decide to lie low on one of the most dangerous days of the year.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,825 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Resolutions reviews
New Year - a time for resolutions, and a time for our boys to remember...
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,112 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Mother of Exiles reviews
Even hardened ex-outlaws can have their hearts touched by a very, very special lady. (And I don't even live that side of the pond!)
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,732 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Cool Hand Kid reviews
Just a leetle - 'ow do you say - nonsense wreeten for a challenge.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,857 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/5/2013 - Complete
Just What They Always Wanted reviews
More nonsense from the ladies of the ex-outlaw appreciation society. Warning - contains gratuitous use of garamans. Delightfully digestable at around 700 words
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 736 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Counting Blessings reviews
A young Hannibal Heyes finds sometimes you have to be careful what you wish for.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,642 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Do You Have What It Takes? reviews
At last, the ex-outlaw appreciation society has devised the perfect test to discover: "Do you have what it takes to be an ASJ fanfic heroine?" Shouldn't take more than a quick coffee break - but you will need a sharp pencil.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,578 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Perfectly Safe
A nekkid Heyes and Curry enjoy a sauna, when... Hey, I had ya at nekkid, huh?
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,351 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Something In Common
A young Hannibal and Jedediah find they have something in common. Just a ficlet.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 721 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Dead Ringer aka The Typo
More utter nonsense from the Ladies of the Ex-Outlaw Appreciation Society
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,682 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Broken Promises
A young Jed does some hard thinking and Heyes some hard not thinking when they run into a face from the past. Another one where I try 'not funny'
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,950 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Unintended Consequences reviews
Just nonsense following a delightful get-together with fellow fans
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 639 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
A Declaration of Independence
Hannibal Heyes is celebrating another Fourth of July. How many per year ARE there in ASJ world? Really only half a ficlet at under 500 words.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 466 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Girl Talk
Simply a little nonsensical girl talk about two fellas calling themselves Smith 'n' Jones. Came out of a challenge... Short enough to read while photocopier warms up!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 396 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Everyone's A Critic
Heyes and Curry persuade a fanfic writer to put her thinking cap on and take them a little more seriously. This story is perfectly adapated for our recession ridden times as it comes with a special Buy One, Get Two Free offer.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,137 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
A Tall Tale Not!
This is a perfectly sensible, mature and reasonable response to a straightforward Crossover challenge. Oh, yes it is! Oh, yes it IS! Anyhow, Heyes and Curry are being trailed by a group of strangely familiar bounty hunters - they're BEHI
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,820 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Corrie on Crossing Over
A Brit-biased - and silly - response to a crossover challenge. Suppose Heyes and Curry walked into a very familiar fictional local? Pour yourself a milk-stout, open up a bag of pork scratchings, then pull up a barstool and join the
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Trick Shot reviews
Heyes and Curry join the circus - but the fun stops when a trick shot goes horribly wrong. Parts of plot gratefully filched from Agatha Christie
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,267 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Another Miracle
More feminine trouble south of the border for Kid Curry. Can Heyes work another Miracle? NB: The plot has been gratefully filched from Agatha Christie - but then she did use most of the available plots, huh?
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,075 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
Grace and Favour
Our boys encounter a familiar face - who would like their help. NB: The plot has been gratefully filched from a BBC Hustle episode and adapted for our boys!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,174 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
The Anniversary Vaults reviews
Originally written as a 40th Anniversary Tribute. Deja Vu for the boys when they revisit Porterville.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Western - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,717 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/24/2011 - Complete
When You're in a Hole Stop Digging! reviews
When Harry Briscoe hires our boys to work for George Bannerman himself - what can possibly go wrong? This story owes a debt to 1 whichever kind person uploaded the Jasper Carrott mole sketch to you tube and 2 a variety of P.G. Wodehouse golf storis
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,399 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Complete
The Pecking Order reviews
Our boys take on a ranch job with a difference. Will it ruffle Kid's feathers?
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,353 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Complete
Do The Hustle aka They Call Him The Streak reviews
In his desire to prove he's a genius, has Heyes accepted one wager too many? Acknowledgement: Fans of the BBC series ‘Hustle’ will suspect that this plot has been shamelessly – but very gratefully – filched. Their suspicions will be well-founded indeed
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,537 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Complete
High Stakes reviews
Our boys are playing for high stakes; can they halt a wily dealer's run of good luck?
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 794 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Next Time on Alias Smith and Jones reviews
Heyes and Curry are tempted to take a peek into the future. Just some nonsense arising from a challenge. This ‘almost-a-ficlet' is affectionately dedicated to a fellow fanfic writer who occasionally ! indulges in a little Kidette hurt'n'comfort.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,240 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Occupational Hazards reviews
A bank robbery goes wrong for the Devil’s Hole Gang and leads to repercussions for Kid Curry. Grateful thanks to Ghislaine Emrys who let me rewrite one of her story openers to overcome a spot of writer’s block at the start of this one.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,800 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Ranch Dressing reviews
Okay, ladies. Who fancies a little ranch dressing on their sizzling hot beefcake? Warning: Contains gratuitous scenes of damp and shirtless ex-outlaws. And if THAT don't pull in the readers...!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,479 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Neatly Folded reviews
Heyes has the cards, but it's Kid Curry who's feeling flushed. Just a little nonsense arising from a starter paragraph challenge.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 655 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
The Luck of the Irish reviews
Heyes and Curry encounter a stranger stranger than usual on the way to 'Frisco. Settle back for the Saint Patrick's Day episode we never had. Possibly the Saint Patrick's Day episode you never even knew you wanted. Kudos to North Star 65 for the idea!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,355 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/15/2010 - Complete
Don't Throw Out the Kid with the Bathwater! reviews
Yet more nonsense inspired by yet another story challenge. Settle back for a gentle stroll through: "What the old proverbs say..." No ex-outlaws were hurt during this story - though one did get dang wet!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 883 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Complete
Waiting reviews
Hair-raising adventure. Sizzling romance. Explosive action. Twists, turns and mystery. Danger, menace and villainous betrayal. Springing cougars and venomous rattlesnakes. Just a few of the things NOT bothering Heyes and Curry in this story.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,228 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Complete
There's A Little Bad In Everyone
“As I was coming down the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today. I wish, I wish he’d go away.” NB: Any “Monk” fans out there may think… “She’s pinched this plot!” They are of course right.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 20,219 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Complete
Stop Whining! reviews
This story was written for my husband who fancies himself as a bit of of wine buff. So, break out the corkscrew, pour yourself a glass of fine-bodied, robust red - and enjoy a pair of fine-bodied and robust ex-outlaws messing about in the Sonama Valley!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,713 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Published: 11/6/2009 - Complete
Arcadia reviews
Heyes romance. Or should that be an unashamed - or at any rate, only mildly blushing - Mary-Sue. If Mary-Sues annoy you - you have been warned. If you like a little twanging of heart-strings - eventually - read on!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 78,155 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/10/2009 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Complete
Lies of Omission
A possible sequel to ‘From Dawn to Darkness’ with kind permission of Grace R Williams . News of the boys’ amnesty causes Kid's former lover Ann to think over her decision to leave him… And second chances…
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,966 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Complete
One Last Time reviews
A little something which arose out of a 'Missing Scene' story challenge. Just over 2,000 words - so perfect with a nice cup of tea/coffee and a dippy biscuit next time you take a short break.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,218 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Complete
The Sucker reviews
A Story of Early Outlaw Days. Hannibal Heyes, the new boy in the Plummer gang, meets an old acquaintance. Another one where I have a go at 'not funny'.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Complete
The Choice reviews
A story of the boys’ Valparaiso days. A young Hannibal and Jed face a decision. Will the choice they make be the right one? About 3,000 words - long coffee break / short lunch break length. NB: Trying my hand at ‘not funny’ in this one.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,119 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/23/2009 - Complete
Strangeness on a Train reviews
A little late for Halloween, but - dim the lamps, let the firelight flicker, put on the eerie music and prepare to be chilled as Heyes and Kid encounter - Strangeness on a Train…
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,573 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Complete
A Change of Scene reviews
Heyes and the Kid decide a change is as good as a rest... Just a little nonsense which gives away which OTHER shows from around 30 to 40 years ago on on my favourites list.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,218 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/26/2009 - Complete
The ASJ Fanfic Checklists reviews
No more fretful chewing your pencil! No more disconsolate drooping over your keyboard! Simply ensure your stories comply with these few fail-safe rules – and dismiss any fear of disappointing reader expectations forever. Just nonsense! Enjoy!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,461 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 4 - Published: 2/3/2009 - Complete
Them Thar Hills reviews
An undiscovered film script for your delectation. Utter nonsense...Don't say you weren't warned.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,507 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Complete
Not Like It Is In The Dime Novels reviews
Heyes and Curry meet a Dime Novel authoress. Can they live up to the heroes in her stories? This one has everything! Action, mystery, romance, Heyes in the hay, a hissable villain and a fine Cuban cigar for the Kid!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 74,631 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/23/2009 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Complete
Not another ASJ fourth of July story!
Heyes comes up with a solution to writer’s block. Kid suspects he is incidental to the plot. Contains so much use of gratuitous tub scenes it’s almost embarrassing. At c. 1,500 words, ideal for a relaxed coffee break.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,586 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Complete
Caught in the Web reviews
Just a piece of nonsense about the two boys. Warning - contains gratuitous scenes of chocolate consumption.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,370 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/9/2009 - Complete
Safe In Their Hands reviews
Will Heyes yield to the temptation of cracking one last safe? Is that Kid Curry manacled - nekkid - to a bed? A light-hearted romp which re-introduces us to a couple of old, old friends and, to the most unsquashable of heroines.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 56,984 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 2/3/2008 - Published: 1/28/2008 - Complete
Professional Secrets reviews
During an eventful train journey, a young boy learns a few tricks of the trade from Hannibal Heyes. About five thousand words - perfect for a coffee break!
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,671 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/25/2008 - Complete
Much Ado About Robbing reviews
Warning: gratuitous tub scene; gratuitous use of pig’s bladder; gratuitous blank verse. In fact - just plain and simple gratuitous nonsense. But nice and short! Enjoy in a quick coffee break.
Alias Smith & Jones - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,295 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/20/2008 - Complete