Poll: Which of my stories would you like to see again? Vote Now!
Author has written 4 stories for Transformers/Beast Wars, Naruto, and Aliens/Predator.
Eyes: Moonlight Blue
Fav. Fics: Transformers & Predator
Fav. Anime: Naruto, Yugioh, Medabots
Fav. Char.: (G1)- Jazz, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Prowl, Mirage, Bluestreak, Tracks, Skywarp, Thundercracker, Starscream, Blitzwing
(Armada)- Hot Shot, Blurr, Jetfire, Sideswipe, Starscream
Alright people, I'm sure you've noticed that I've put Back Again and Unknown Power on Hiatus. What most may not know is that I've been writing these stories with my cousin Dez. Some of you know her. She doesn't have an account of her own so she leeches off of mine. But for a while now things have been happening. Dez has been admitted to the hospital a couple of times in the the past ten mouths. She's come down with bronchitis. She found out she has asthma. She has a mild case of diabetes. She's been getting ulcers. She hasn't been doing well so the stories are coming to a halt until she can get a grip on her life. And I'm not asking for a new beta so the people who are asking back off. These stories BELONG to US. We;ve spent too much time working on how these stories would turn out and I'm not letting anyone work on them. I wanna thank the people who are still loyal to us for reading. Later guys. 6/28/11
Good news people. I've finally gotten a new laptop. I'll finally be able to continue my stories now. So expect a new chapter for both stories within the week. 11/6/10
Well, people it seems all my nightmares have finally come true. We had sent my old computer to my grandfather who has fixed our computers before to see if he can clean my computer of the virus or at least save all my stories. But he had other ideas. I had also left my memory stick in it so he could try to save my stories. He didn't do anything but wipe my whole computer and memory stick CLEAN. All my stories are gone, even my backup files are gone. Two years of stories I know all of you love are gone forever. He didn't even try to save them. He thought he could keep the computer if he cleaned it for us. We had planned to send it to another friend of ours if he couldn't do it but that all went down the drain now. I'm sorry to all those people who were hoping to see my wonderful stories come back; the only story I actually still have is Unknown Power. The others like Wish, Secrets and To The Past might also have a chance seeing as their companion stories done by Oracle Dragon are still up, so she might be helping me there. If anyone remembers any of my other stories; I would love more then anything to get my Prowl/OC story back up if anyone remembers that one or if you guys would like the twin story I had then just tell me. I can't promise you if they will be exactly the same but I remember the general detail of my stories. Sorry you all had to listen to me rant but I'm still very upset. Unknown Power will most likely be updated soon. 3-25-10
Well everyone it seems that I have more bad news for you. Last Friday i was at deviantart when i received a virus from visiting this site. It completely wiped out my virus protection program. i can no longer get to anything on my computer. My father has contacted a friend of ours who knows how to deal with these kind of problems. But he lives in Washington and we have to do this over the phone. As of right now it doesn't look like I'll be writing any stories in the near future. There also is a large possibility that we may either have to wiped my whole computer or buy myself a new one. And seeing as how i lose all my files in either situation I'm not happy right now. I also appologize to Starseed seeing as how i was her beta and she has sent me all of her stories too I'm upset that I won't be able to help her for a while. 7-14-09
Alright everyone. Seeing as i have lost the email to my first account this is where i shall be putting my stories. I didn't plan this so I'm sorry to those who are probably gonna hate me. I shall see how things work out. And if anything, I should be the one thats pissed off the most. All my stories are gonna lose all those reviews. Thats what I'm mad about the most.
Hey to all my loyal fans. You've probably noticed that i haven't been updating a lot like i use to. You see when i got out of high school i was given a year off before deciding what i wanted to do. And i had all this free time and ideas that wanted to be done. But now that year is over and i'm trying to get into a college right now. i failed to get into the fall classes so now i have to wait for the winter classes. i still have plenty of time over my me but i figured something else out. i've stopped updating as much because its the only thing i can do. i've felt like i have to write instead i want to write. and that just takes all the fun away from being here. people are telling me they want updates and i can understand that but threatening me that they leave my stories for good is not gonna help matters. i'm hoping that when i get into college i'll be wanting to write again because it will probably be the only fun thing in life at the time. So i'm sorry if you're waiting for me. i just haven't been wanting to write for a while. and forcing myself to write a chapter will make a very boring and stupid chapter. So i hope you can all bear with me and just be patient. later.
Here are some things i just want to put on my bio.
People come to this site to learn how to write. NO ONE automatically knows how to, professionals can tell you that much. This site is for people to get together and have fun. No one wants a flame but most can turn their cheek as long as if it has constructive criticism. But as this site grows more popular more people join this site for the wrong reasons. Thus the new and blossoming writers are a target for their foul mouths. Many new writers do not understand the concept of a flame and discontinue thier story. They never had they chance to blossom and become beautiful writers, instead they give up because someone decided to call them a foul name and didn't even bother to tell the author what was wrong with the story in the first place. I telling you this because I feel that this should come to stop. These people honestly believe that they're doing good by flaming. What they don't realize is that it's doing more harm than good. If they really wish for people to become better writers than they should be straight with them in a mature manner. No flaming, just telling the author politely what's wrong with the story.
!!STOP THE PARING WAR!!
The white man said, "Coloured people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me coloured?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
.••) .•).•.•) .•)
This is about a little girl who was abused, if you care, copy and paste this in your profile
My name is sarah I am but three,
My eyes are swollen I cannot see,
I must be stupid I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up All day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself Against the wall.
I try and hide From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,
I finally get free And I run for the door.
He's already locked it And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its much too late now, His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
If you actually gasped/screamed when the story above ended with murdered me, copy and paste this into your profile...
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
HOMOPHOBIA IS GAY
I am the boy who never finished school because I was called a fag everyday.
I am the girl who got kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I was a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because no one will hire a transsexual.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they wouldn't allow my partner of 27 years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up to the nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family i have ever had. I wished they could adopt me.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before my high school graduation. It was just too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the Realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one bedroom for two men.
I am the one person who does not know which bathroom to use so the management doesn't come for me.
I am the mother who is not even allowed to see the children I bore, nursed and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the father who never hugged my son because I grew up afraid to show affection to males.
I am the Home Ec teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians could teach it.
I am the woman who died when the EMTs stopped treating me as soon as they realized i was transsexual.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because i don't believe, but because they closed the doors to my kind.
I am the girl ashamed to tell my own friends that I am a lesbian because they make fun of them.
I am the boy tied to a fence, beaten to a bloody pulp and left to die because two straight men said they needed to 'teach me a lesson'.
I am the person who needs to hide what this world needs the most: love.
IF YOU BELIEVE THAT HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG- REPOST THIS
I took the The Ultimate Transformers Quiz and... I'm Hot Rod.
Notes To Self...Of DOOM!
1. Do not introduce yourself as roleplaying character in public.
2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5. Do not go out in public.
6. Disregard last number. Do numbers 1-4.
7. Note Expressions.
8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9. Floor is slippery when wet.
10. Lake is slippery when dry.
11. Only talk to strangers you know.
12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.
13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.
14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15. Kill them for security purposes.
16. Crying doesn't slove anything. Try violent mood swings.
17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18. The men in white coats are not your friends.
19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.
20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.
22. Flammable and immflammable mean the same thing.
23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.
25. Train army of flying monkeys.
26. Goldfish don't like milk.
27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.
29. People are staring at you.
30. So act insane.
31. People are weird but not as weird as me.
32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.
33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.
35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.
36. Never pet a burning dog.
37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.
38. Naked men dig parkas.
39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40. You know what would look good on you?
41. Immolated cockroaches.
42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43. The size of Danny DeVito.
44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.
47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."
48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.
49. The way is rum.
50. Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
51. The Ten Steps to Dying.
a. Fall down.
b. Be rushed to hospital.
c. Not be saved.
d. Be mourned over.
e. Be buried in dirt.
f. Have your grave looted.
j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.
52. You cannot kill the snow.
53. The snow can kill you.
54. Grass can kill you too.
55. The leprechan on the ceral box said i couldn't get his lucky charms.
56. Catch and castrate leprechan.
57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.
58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.
63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.
65. Remember to kill HIM.
66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatible thrist for blood.
67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.
70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.
71. Eat the evidence.
72. But not if its broken glass.
73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.
74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.
75. Disregard last note.
76. Note reactions.
77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.
78. Stock up on ball point pens.
79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.
83. Blood loss is bad.
84. Find way to reattach fingers.
85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86. Answer every question with a question.
87. Ask people what gender they are.
88. Note reactions.
89. Refer to people as mortal.
90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94. Kill them.
96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97. Dunk head in boiling water.
98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.
99. Guillible is written on the ceiling.
100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.
PUT THIS IN YOUR PROFILE IF YOU'RE STILL 5 INSIDE-NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE!
19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive.
FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away.
FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down.
FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me.
FRIENDS: Ask me for my number.
FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops.
FRIENDS: Let me make an idiot of myself in public.
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mister and Missess, Grandma by Grandma and Grandpa by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
A friend helps you up when you fall, a best friend continues walking while saying "Walk much, dumbass?"
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter.
Your One and Only Wish
1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.
2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?
3. Your first initial?
4. Your month of birth?
5. Which color do you like more, black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.
7. Your favorite number?
8. Do you like California or Florida more?
9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).
Are you done?
If so, scroll down
1. You are completely in love with this person.
2. If you choose:
Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.
Black: You are conservative and aggressive.
Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.
Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.
Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are Down.
3. If you’re initial is:
A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.
L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to Blossom.
S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.
4. If you were born in:
Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.
Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but The memories will last forever.
July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life Changing experience for the good.
Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your Soul mate.
5. If you choose...
Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.
White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do Anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.
8. If you choose...
9. If you choose...
10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!
I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlies sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
Whenever I am in the emergency room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see something that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful bronze hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my stomach isn't curled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes, I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know
Copy and paste this on your profile if you're a true Twilighter/Fanpire/etc...
Stephenie Meyer, the sane ones say they love you.
The amazing ones like me worship you and call Twilight the 'sacred and holy text'.
And the ones who are insane because they hate you and Twilight? Oh, they are the werewolves of our lives!
(Who we vow to hunt down and murder!!)
((Copy it if it describes your love for Twilight and SM.))
I would like to say, if you hate Twilight, run for your lives. We're coming for you.
There's a girl in my mirror Crying tonight. And there's nothing i can say To make her feel alright.
I will never regret loving you ...only believing you loved me too.
She refuses to trust anyone, Because she refuses to get hurt again.
I'm always the friend never the girlfriend.
Im just the girl standing in the background of all the happy people.
Sometimes the pain's too strong to bare. And life gets so hard you just don't care. You feel so alone you just sit and cry. Every second you wish you could die. Then you start thinking 'who would care?' If one day they woke up-and you weren't there.
Kill her. Go ahead Make her dreams come true
When you look in the mirror And don't like what you see You can find out first hand What it's like to be me.
Boys just break hearts so why cant we break them first.
I dont care when you threaten to bite me because deep down I want you to.
Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
29. Hold an auction.
30. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
31. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
32. Throw a rave.
33. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
34. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
35. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
36. When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
37. Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
38. Have a heated debate with yourself.
39. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
40. Drum on every available surface.
41. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
42. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
43. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
44. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
45. Propose to the other passengers.
46. Challenge people to duels.
47. Sell girl scout cookies.
48. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
49. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
50. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
51. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
52. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
53. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
54. Shout "Food fight!"
55. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
56. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
57. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
58. Elevators were practically MADE for river dancing!
59. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
60. Make sushi.
61. Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
63. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
64. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
65. Practice your kung fu.
66. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
67. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
68. Fly a model airplane.
69. Do yoga.
70. Play the accordion
71. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
72. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
73. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
74. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
75. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
15 Things to do when your in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
If you hate stereotypes copy and paste this onto your profile (Bold-ones you are)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this
25 Things My Mom Taught Me
1. TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE- "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. RELIGION- "You better pray that comes out of the carpet."
3. TIME TRAVEL- "If you don't straighten up, I'm gonna knock you into the middle of next week."
4. LOGIC- "Because I said so, that's why."
5. MORE LOGIC- "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. FORESIGHT- "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. IRONY- "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS- "Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."
9. CONTORTIONISM- "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. STAMINA- "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. WEATHER- "This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."
12. HYPOCRISY- "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate."
13. THE CIRCLE OF LIFE- "I brought you into this world and I can take you out."
14. BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION- "Stop acting like your father."
15. ENVY- "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you."
16. ANTICIPATION- "Just wait until we get home."
17. RECEIVING- "You're gonna get it when you get home."
18. MEDICAL SCIENCE- "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're gonna freeze that way."
19. ESP- "Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you're cold?"
20. HUMOR- "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. GROWING UP- "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. GENETICS- "I swear you're just like your father."
23. MY ROOTS- "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. WISDOM- "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. JUSTICE- "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you."
Heres a copy of the Fourty Nine Laws of Anime, copy it if you're a anime writer.
Fourty- Nine laws of Anime:
Originally compiled and edited by Darrin Bright and Ryan Shellito
1. Law of Metaphysical Irregularity
2. Law of Differentiated Gravitation
3. Law of Sonic Amplification, First Law of Anime Acoustics
4. Law of Constant Thrust, First Law of Anime Motion
5. Law of Mechanical Mobility, Second Law of Anime Motion
6. Law of Temporal Variability
7. First Law of Temporal Mortality
8. Second Law of Temporal Mortality
9. Law of Dramatic Emphasis
10, Law of Dramatic Multiplicity
11. Law of Inherent Combustability
12. Law of Phlogistatic Emission
13. Law of Energetic Emission
14. Law of Inverse Lethal Magnitude
15. Law of Inexhaustability
16. Law of Inverse Accuracy
17. Law of Transient Romantic Unreliability
18. Law of Hemoglobin Capacity
19. Law of Demonic Consistency
20. Law of Militaristic Unreliability
21. Law of Tactical Unreliability
22. Law of Inconsequential Undetectability
23. Law of Juvenile Intellectuality
24. Law of Americanthropomorphism
25. Law of Mandibular Proportionality
26. Law of Feline Mutation
27. Law of Conservation of Firepower
28. Law of Technological User-Benevolence
29. Law of Melee Luminescence
30. Law of Non-anthropomorphic Antagonism
31. Law of Follicular Chroma Variability
32. Law of Follicular Permanence
33. Law of Topological Aerodynamics, First Law of Anime Aero-Dynamics
34. Law of Probable Attire
35. Law of Musical Omnipotence
36. Law of Quitupular Aggultination
37. Law of Extradimensional Capacitance
38. Law of Hydrostatic Emission
39. Law of Inverse Attraction
40. Law of Nasal Sanguination
41. Law of Xylolaceration
42. Law of Juvenile Omnipotence
43. Law of Quadrotriscadecophobia
44. Law of Nominative Clamovocation
45. Law of Uninteruptable Metamorphosis
46. Law of Flimsy Incognition
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar o f Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school, he told his friends that it was cool , and when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack! Mummy I was a good girl, I did what I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye, I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another, and all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much, and please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now, and tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest, mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class, and never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this, mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest, but mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest, mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with daddy, on that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live, but mummy I must go now the time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date , I love you mummy I always have, I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you", In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would, pass this around, I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground, if you pass this on, maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart, for the people that didn't get to say "goodbye"
Now you have two choices
1) repost and show you care
2)ignore it and you have just proven you have a low-down, cold-heart
(Please just copy and paste this on to your site and show that you care)
I don't care if you're diseased with an incurable sickness, everybody deserves a chance.
Kids Are Quick
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Girls Don't realize these things;
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'
Let me see how my name turned out like!
H- Easy to fall in love with
L- Smile to die for
E- Has gorgeous eyes
Y- Is loved by everyone
HAPPY BUNNY QUOTES! I LOVE THIS GUY!
1) I'll admit I'm hot but don't blame me for global warming.
2) I'm changing my naughty ways. To naughtier ones.
3) Bite it sideways pal.
4) It's sad your own mom dresses you like that.
5) Your anger makes me happy.
6) I did it but I'm blaming you.
7) Ugly people are just mean because they make us sick.
8) I love boys. They're stupid.
9) Hating you makes me all warm inside.
10) HA! You can't score with this. HA!
11) Cute but kind of evil.
12) School is great. There's lots of people to make fun of.
13) You Go Girl. And don't come back.
14) I had a dream and in it. Something eats you.
15) Cute but psycho. Things even out.
16) You don't have to be crazy to be my friend but it damn sure helps.
17) Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your butts funny looking, I think you'll do.
18) It's my birthday. Lets focus on me.
19) Since you're gross shouldn't you be smart.
20) Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it.
21) The voices in my head remind me to say happy birthday.
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
Running total: 7
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
Running total: 10
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
Running total: 14
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
Running total: 20
41. Took a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
Running total: 27
51. X Have done enough stupid things to take a stupid test
Running total: 35
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
Running total: 42
71. X When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
Running total: 48
81. Put tape on someone else's hair then pulled it off
Running total: 52
91. X As you are writing you move/moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
Okay I'm 57 percent stupid. I know I'm crazy anywho. Stupid is just an added bonus! ;)
The girl you called fat..She has been starving herself & lost 30 lbs. The boy you called stupid...Has a learning disability & studies over 4 hours a night. The girl you called ugly...She spends hours putting on make-up, hoping people will like her. The boy you called a queer...He is planning his suicide because he can't accept himself for who he is. The boy you tripped...He is abused enough at home. Put this in your profile if you're against bullying. Stand up against bullies this year!
Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dyslexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.