Xandra J
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Joined 01-20-08, id: 1479781, Profile Updated: 07-15-10
Author has written 11 stories for Twilight, iCarly, Chronicles of Narnia, Inkheart, Coraline, City of Ember, and Maximum Ride.

Hi hi! I'm Alex aka Jinx aka Xandra!

I wear my flashdrive on a chain around my neck. Do you?

Copy and paste this into your profile if you've ever wanted a bird-boy as a boyfriend.

My best friend is insane. If you have an insane friend, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens have an emotional breakdown if someone calls them a freak. copy onto pro if your one of the 7 percent that would say, "what was your first clue?"

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insanse, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you(Chairs, electric fences, apples, ect.), copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've met your near twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this onto your profile. (shes my best friend!)

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know almost nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyway, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil...and I wouldn't have him any other way.

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Is hauling ass out of town with me.

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will giva me an umbrella in the rain.
Best Friend: Will steal my umbrella and yell "Run, bitch, run!"

Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will give me up to the police for her freedom

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Never go away, even if you want them to.

"In Israel we have a saying: 'Zevel ze zevel'." (Gets funny looks) "'Crap is crap'." - Ziva, NCIS, season 3, episode 6 (truest thing I've ever heard on TV.)

Quotes from my crazies- er...I mean friends

"Wait...what?" - Mickey...and since he said it, everyone else.

"Do windmills collect solar power?" - Telea

"Bitch, I cut you!" - me

"I don't have problems, I have caffeine!" - Geda

"What are you smoking, and why'd you smoke it with out me?" - me

"SPARKS! Mine!!" - Mickey, jumping for sparks @ a campfire
(5 seconds later) "AHHH! My eyes!!"

SAMI-ISMS (Sami is my best friend, and I think we might be related. She's smart, but she says a lot of stupid stuff...this is some of 'em...some just aren't as funny in text.)

(after stepping on my laptop power cord) "I unplugged'ed'ed it."

"I have A.D- COWS!!"

"Twinkl- there's no stars..."

"My pillow smells like peanut butter."

"Unh" (licks air)
"Brady?"
"Uh-huh..."

"How do you spell 'hi'?"

"OMG! Spoon!!"

"OMG! Waffles!!"

"Anyway, I was thi- llama."

"Nerd! Lol, jk, ily. Lol. I'm high."

"Your hair smells like cocaine." (now, apparently, it smells like Mac and Cheese. My mom says it smells like meth.)

"Squiiiishy..." (while poking her boob)

"Rawr. Imma pig."

"I like pigs. Do you like pigs? Pigs are cute. Pigs go 'oink'."

"I taste good."

"Do you taste good?"

(@ 2:40 am) "I wanna climb a tree."

(While chewing on ice) "This is cold."

(after turning around) "Didn't we just go past that?"

"Why is the air conditioner on? It's not even cold outside."

(looking for her glue-on vampire fang) "Ah! Where'd my tooth go!?"

(after going to get her bag) "I stepped in a hole in your yard."

(after knocking the cap off my flashdrive) "I broked'ed'ed'ed it off."

"Oh! There's a seat!"

"That's awesome-tastical!"

(walking around college campus) "We should jack that boat."

"I'm gonna go press the pretty buttons."

"There's just a men's room."

"Arf, arf. Imma goat."

(drink 3" from hand) "Where's my water!?"

"Ta da!" (falls)

"We're by the big miniature."

(After having some random dude yell hi) "That looked like my cousin's brother."
(me) "...so...your cousin?"

"My face hurts."

"I'm gonna tastes Ryley."

(talking on the phone with me) "I really want waffles right now."

"Moo. Imma lion."

(looking right at sushi plate) "I wonder if they have sushi here..."

(clutching her knee) "Ah! My face!"

(holdin my slider phone) "Slide-y."

(looking at Sami-isms) "God, I'm blonde."

"Ow me tummy."

"Oh! The light glows in the dark!"

"I got a bra with frogs on it!!"

(looking at something at the Dollar Tree) "I wonder how much this is..."
(me - give side-ways look) "How much do you think it is, dipshit?"

(excitedly) "OMIGOSH ALEXA!"
(me - warily) "What..."
(calmly) "Do you like pigs?"

"I tried to pet a purdy bush through a closed car window..."

(middle of the night in a tent) "No! The dog dropped the duct tape!"

"I stabbed my thumb with a giant safety pin."

(me, yelling in ear) "FAIL!"
(jumps) "PINK! No, PURPLE!"

(On the phone with me) "I'm playing with a Tech Deck."
(Two seconds later) "What did I just say?"

Okay, so you know there are going to be more later...I'll put them up as she says them.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Nightmare by TastyAsItGets reviews
Back in England, teenage Susan begins to have nightmares about the "Golden" Age. When she realizes the dreams are actually forgotten memories, she will stop at nothing to prevent her family from falling apart again — even trying to change the past. Part III of "The Secret Chronicles of Narnia Trilogy."
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 20,683 - Reviews: 447 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 7/10/2013 - Published: 1/10/2009 - Susan Pevensie, Peter Pevensie, Edmund Pevensie, Lucy Pevensie - Complete
The Birdkid Who Can't Be Moved by i-effed-it-all-up reviews
Fang regrets leaving Max and waits for her at Lake Mead. Oneshot, based loosely off of the song "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" by the Script. Not really a songfic. Rated T for a tad bit of language.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 937 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/15/2010 - Fang, Max - Complete
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
Disbeliever by sweetgirl8353 reviews
Madeline is a friend of Edmund's at King's College London. One day Edmund shares his greatest secret with her. Narnia. Then he is dead in a train crash. How will Madeline cope while trying to determine if Narnia is a true place or just fiction?
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 23 - Words: 57,447 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 10/26/2008 - Published: 5/13/2008 - Edmund Pevensie - Complete
Jacob Black is on Crack! by Vickytoria13 reviews
Random poem I made up just for fun. you Jacob haters will love this!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 254 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/27/2008 - Complete
The Top 20 Ways to Annoy Scipio by The Blue Falcon reviews
Prosper Finds a list on the Internet of how to annoy Scipio. Prosper shows it to him, and Scipio gets mad!
Thief Lord - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 315 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/12/2007
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hands To The Wind reviews
"Okay, so maybe I'm not the mutant freak you expected to see, but I'm still part of the Flock. Why? Coincidence. Yeah. Lady Luck ain't the greatest, but...well, what can I do about it now?" Iggy/OC, some Max/Fang. Starts during book 3.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,763 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 9/9/2010 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Iggy
Like a Song reviews
Serpents are beautiful, lithe, and enchanting. But some are poisonous, and most should not be played with. And a serpent in the dark is especially dangerous.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,116 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 2/5/2010 - Published: 11/19/2009 - Edmund Pevensie
Stars reviews
Doon and Lina make a mistake. Heavy Doon/Lina. This will be a multichapter, I think. Just gimme a while.
City of Ember - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,266 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 31 - Published: 9/24/2009
Height reviews
Due to the serious lack of Prophet of Yonwood fics, I felt obligated to do this! Just a cute little too-long-to-be-a-drabble,-too-short-to-be-a-one-shot. Kinda sorta Nickie/Grover
City of Ember - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 464 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Complete
Blue Hair reviews
Just a little drabble I wrote on a whim. Wybie musing about Coraline's hair. If you squint, and turn your head at just the right angle, you MIGHT just be able to see come Coraline/Wybie there.
Coraline - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 150 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 9/7/2009 - Coraline J., Wybie L. - Complete
Rewritten reviews
My ideal ending to Inkspell. I was kinda hoping that Meggie would be the one to kill Basta, so this was born out of that and pure boredom. MeggieFarid, AU, rated T for obvious violence.
Inkheart - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 660 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/31/2009 - Meggie F., Farid - Complete
Open the Door reviews
A modern day girl with a terrible life - and one life-altering secret - goes to Narnia. What will she find there? Ed/OC
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 867 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 7 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Edmund Pevensie
The Call reviews
After iKiss I can finally say that! Sam gets an idea when she hears about the next segment on iCarly...and it has huge consequences.
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 861 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/3/2009 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
iGet Flowers reviews
Sam has a secret admirer...One-shot, Seddie...just fluff for the sake of fluff - my favorite kind!
iCarly - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,190 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/28/2008 - Freddie B., Sam P. - Complete
Random Seddie reviews
I wasn't tagged, I just felt like doing this, 'cuz it looked like fun. BLATANT SEDDIE!
iCarly - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,778 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/26/2008 - Sam P., Freddie B. - Complete
Random Ramblings reviews
I wrote the first chapter at nine at night. It probably won't make sence. Me and my totally random friends get sucked into Twilight and mess things up badly! Alice doesn't actually get blown up in chap one Im saving her!I'm working on 2 srry for the delay
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 887 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/27/2008 - Published: 5/13/2008
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Community: Land of the OCs
Focus: Books Chronicles of Narnia