the-nerd-has-arrived
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Joined 02-01-08, id: 1489845, Profile Updated: 11-29-09
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

Hello people of planet Earth!!

I'm a ninth grader and I'm pretty stupid and smart. I'm book smart, but somedays I'm a hopeless case. I'm pretty sarcastic when the occasion calls for it. Yup... that pretty much sums me up... OH! I have to point out that both Jacob and Edward are pedos! So I'm Team Tyler's Van :D Also, Mercutio from Romeo and Juliet is a CREEPER!! In a good way. However, Romeo is a frikin pansy in a lot of it.


Hobbies:reading, reading fan-fics, drawing pointless stuff in notebooks, saying crazy stuff, messing with people's heads, singing pointless stuff, and playing guitar

Favorite Books: Harry Potter, Inheritance Trilogy, Inkworld series, Uglies series, Maximum Ride(love the sarcasm!), The Phantom of the Opera, The Princess Bride, The Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, and much more.

Favorite songs/ bands
I'll tell you now I have a very varied taste in music and I can't sum it up. My top favorites are Panic at the Disco, Linkin Park, Coldplay, and The Beatles. Those are the bands with the largest number of songs by them in my favorites. I'll listen to pretty much anything you throw my way.

Fave Sayings:
Chicken comes from cows! (don't ask, just go down)
What is popular is not always right, what is right is not always popular.
When you're a battery, you're either working or dead.
Gum - better than drugs and minty fresh (I swear, everyone in my school is addicted to gum)
Fish are friends, not food! (my way of living)
Slim Pickins!!
Close the conversations! (and the follow-up) Heaven forbid my conversations are open!
If we were fish, we'd be dead.

Things I hate
Spiders
Snakes
Falling(the irony)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (they ruined the memory!! I was really looking forward to that!)
Being Bored (too much experience in that subject)
spelllng mistaaks
High School Musical saga (arghhh)
Know-it-alls (ones that take credit for what someone else cough me cough said too quietly for the teacher to hear)
not being able to talk right (it's happened to all of us)
Bossy Stuck-Up people(cough preppies cough)
Preppies (but only when they THINK they're all that and put people down for fun, although it is hilarious when they give their thinking faces)
My luck & coordination
When you're talking to someone and all of a sudden you forgot what you were going to say
When my friend is in a bad mood (it's contagious)
all the brands of clothes preppies wear
(I'm going to regret this) Twilight (ducks into bomb shelter)
STAIRS!!


At lunch table
me: Why don't you eat your cheese?
Ashliegh(when she was called Ashliegh): Cause it comes from cows.
Darienne: But you drink milk everyday and that comes from cows.
Ashliegh: But I leave it on the table
Me: Chicken comes from cows!
Ashliegh: What? (makes barf face; we're eating chicken enchiladas)
(me and Darienne start laughing uncontrollably)

P.E. Hockey
Darienne: COME ON SEVIES!
Me: Ya, come on sevies. (in Charlie the Unicorn voice) Let's make it inside the goal, the magical goal of hope and wonder.

P.E. (talking about newsletter horoscopes)
Me: What did your's say?
Darienne: I would find a twenty in an abandoned hallway.
Me: I'm supposed to get hit in the head with a volle- OW!! OH MY GOSH!! It's a volleyball!! So does this mean that if it says I'll win the lottery I will?

English
(everyone's chatting and ignoring the teacher because of block schedule and the bell is about to ring and we see Bryson reading a book, shakespeare's secret)
Jacey: Hey what are you reading?
Bryson: Oh. Shakespeare.
Colin: Romeo, Romeo, let down your hair! Oh wait.
Jacey and me start laughing and bell rings
Colin: Well guys could have had long hair in those times.

bus
Darienne: Dang it! My calculator isn't in my binder.
me: Maybe the calculator fairy took it.
Darienne: Yeah, dumb calculator fairy.
me: Yeah, he's almost as bad as the tooth fairy.
Darienne: (lets the joke sink in) Ha! That's good!

Darienne: Be kind, rewind.
me: But they're DVDs! How am I supposed to do that?!

Darienne: I'm gonna lay down.
me: (sarcastically) Oh, do you want me to sing you a lullaby?

English
Mrs. S: Well, you should have seen in the future that there was going to be a planner check!
me: I'm sorry, but I only specialize in runes.

art
Justice: How do you kill a blond?
me: put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.
(table laughs)
Justice: Why is that so funny?
me: Well, what was yours?
Justice: Give her a gun and tell her it's a blow dryer. I still don't get yours, though.

lunch
Darienne: Oh...Oh. OH!
me: Get it right! It's "ho ho ho".

I was bored one day, so I decided to name our goldfish(this was way back okay I'm not that stupid). I'm sitting there staring at the tank trying to distinguish characteristics(wow I sound old) when I notice one of the fish is flipping around in loop-de-loops.
"I'm gonna name you Flippy!" I say.
My mom comes along and says, "Um... that fish is dead."
"Oh... I knew that."

Bro: I wanna be a professional soccer or football player.
Me: Well, you've got to be fast and strong.
Bro: Geez, you sound like a Twilight commercial.

P.E.
Me: Hey! Be careful with that trash can! Bob has feelings too! Doesn't you, Bob?
Darienne: And you're in Honors English?

Summer Band
Alexis: Is that a shopping cart?
Me: Where?
Alexis: Right there.
Me: We should ride in it!
Alexis: We have to do it secretly though.
Me: Alexis, it's two teenage girls on a shopping cart. We can't really BE secretive.

later...
(kathy and i are in the basket of the shopping cart & Alexis is pushing)
Me:Don't tip it over o-
(Alexis hits the grass and Kathy and I spill onto it, just missing some dog crap)

Band the day before a marching competition
Mr B.: Ok guys, lets go over the checklist. Shirts, socks, shoes, hats, jackets, and PANTS! DON'T forget your PANTS! Whenever i go into a changing room I'm afraid of forgetting my pants. Pants, people, PANTS!

French (the teacher is explaining why some things are feminine and some are masculine)
Mrs. V: Because in America, inanimate objects don't have sex. (yeah...something along those lines)

At home with my brother(10 yrs old) and friend
Bro: How long are your periods?
Me and friend: uhhhhh... hmm... (laughing at the same time) it depends... uh...
Bro: What's so funny about your class periods?
Friend and I almost die of a heart attack
Me: OHHHH!! 70 minutes.
friend: it's an inside joke, you wouldn't get it.


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide

saw this on someone's profile and decided to do this.

1.If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say?
You're the One That I want- Grease (wooooooow)

2.How would you describe yourself?
Forgetful Lucy- 50 First Dates (forgetful but my name isnt Lucy)

3.What do you like in a girl/guy?
My Own Worst Enemy - Lit (wtf?)

4.How do you feel today?
Come Dancing - The Kinks (lol I never listen to this song anymore)

5.What is your life's purpose?
Viva La Vida - Coldplay (about time one kind of made sense, the title, not the lyrics)

6.What is your motto?
All The Small Things - Blink 182 (I guess I pay attention to details)

7.What do your friends think of you?
Thanks For The Memories - FOB

8.What do you think of your parents?
Are You Gonna Be My Girl- Jet (puke EEEEWWWWW!!)

9.What do you think about very often?
Beer Is Good- Psychostick (XD)

10.What is 2 + 2?
Green Eyes - Coldplay

11.What do you think of your best friend?
Thanks For the Memories - FOB (wtf is wrong with my shuffle?)

12.What do you think of the person you like?
Bring Me To Life - Evanescence (If I had a crush that would make sense)

13.What is your life story?
Hysteria- Muse

14.What do you want to be when you grow up?
I Feel Good - James Brown (lol)

15.What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Move Along - All-American Rejects (lol Lily and James just popped into my head)

16.What will you dance to at your wedding?
So Happy Together- The Turtles (it makes SENSE!!)

17.What will they play at your funeral?
I'm Just A Kid- Simple Plan (:S I hope not)

18.What is your hobby/interest?
Daylight - Matt and Kim (weird...)

19.What is your biggest fear?
Starlight - Muse (Woah weird)

20.What is your biggest secret?
Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas (I'm only 13)

21.What do you think of your friends?
Super Freak - Rick James (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)

List Twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. Then answer the questions about them.

I'm doing Harry Potter because it's awesome!! But I would so put Mercutio from romeo and juliet becase he's such an awesome little creeper!:

1. Dumbledore

2. Hedwig

3. Lily Evans

4. George

5 Harry Potter

6. Luna

7. Hermione

8. Ron

9. Rita Skeeter

10. Neville

11. Ginny

12. Fred (the twin)

1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to?
Luna/ Ginny... funny story! back when I was like naive, I had no clue what slash was!! It didn't help the author had like NO summary! And no, I don't wanna go back there.

2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
YES!! So hot! But ever notice that in the first movie, they look like grown up versions of Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle?

3. What you happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Sick! The world would end!!

4. Can you recall any fics about Nine?
no, not about her but with her although it'd be pretty cool to see her psychotic side

5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Hedwig and Luna. uh, no.

6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
Sick!! Neither! Harry/ Lily if it's like a father daughter fic, because those are so cute.

7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve "going at it"?
Hermione walks in on Hedwig and Fred? Haha she'd be high!

8. Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?
Dumbledore/Ron. Gross.

9. Suggest a title for Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Hermione/Fred... Comic Relief O.o

10. Do any of your friends read Three fics?
My friends are lame and not into fanfiction but I LOVE a good Lily fic.

11. Do any of your friends write or draw Eleven?
Tried to once, not pretty :P

12. Would any of your friends write Two/Four/Five?
Hedwig/George/Harry... no way in hell.

13. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, what song would you choose?
hmm... lame I can't find a song... I can see him singing Are You Gonna Be My Girl by Jet?? Like, Hermione kinda lets go and goes wild-ish and Ron tries to woo her... gah

14. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Dumbledore/Luna/Fred? Warning: I see dead people!

15. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Harry Potter! Haha! That's funny!

16. (1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).

Dumbledore and Hermione are in a happy relationship until Rita Skeeter runs off with Hermione. Dumbledore, brokenhearted, has a hot one night stand with Ginny, and a brief, unhappy affair with Fred, then follows the wise advice of Harry,and finds true love with Lily Evans.

What title would you give this fic?

Dumbledore's a Creeper!

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

I cry, you cry, I laugh, you laugh, I jump off a bridge, you laugh harder.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when someone tries to steal Twilight or New Moon and you smack them over the head with it when you get it back. Crazy is when you start falling in love with people with names like "Edward Culn" and "Jacob Lap". Crazy is when you go carolling on Halloween in a neighborhood you have no clue about. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

Enjoy!!

PS I cancelled Once Upon A Time BECAUSE I'm really not into it(Twilight or the story) anymore and I really don't have time for writing nowadays. If you want to continue it for me then PM me and then I'll post a chapter saying who will continue for me.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

How to annoy the Twilight Characters by lovetwilight2 reviews
Pretty much self-explainatory-SIXTY ways to annoy them!Yeah,that's right,sixty. Last chapter is UP!WARNING:THINGS WILL GET STRANGE AND KIND OF MEAN.READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.not sutible for young children.Read and REVIEW!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 10,029 - Reviews: 181 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Come What May by twilightbystarlight reviews
Bella is deeply in love with Edward, a rich lawyer's son, but with the spanish influenza approaching, will the lovers get their happy ending? Takes place in 1918, and is all human except for Carlisle
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 59,539 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 129 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 11/3/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Goodbye, Former Miss Swan by XxBellatrixJxX reviews
SEQUEL TO HELLO MISS. SWAN. 150 years into the future, during that time period she decides to join the Volturi, after waiting for Edward. Becoming part of the Volturi, she is sent on a missson which leads her to reunite with the Cullens. What will happen?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 37,975 - Reviews: 569 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 11/27/2008 - Published: 6/23/2008 - Complete
Bella: Danger Magnet Alert! by Tail writer reviews
Written for Eowyn77's Bella Danger Magnet challenge. The challenge: write a non-supernatural threat to Bella's health. Bella discovers that PE in Forks is worse than expected... based on my personal experience. T because I am one. R&R appreciated!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,462 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 8/1/2008
When We Were Young by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
Edward and Bella have been friends since they were toddlers. When they grow older, will their friendship become something more? Stories from when they were little, through teen and adult years. Modern day. T for later chapters.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 132,723 - Reviews: 5657 - Favs: 2,900 - Follows: 886 - Updated: 8/11/2008 - Published: 6/15/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Eleven by Word Nazi reviews
Bella, you need to leave. You have to leave Forks or you won't be safe." Edward said as realization crashed down on us. "But we might never see each other again if I do." I whispered. "It's a risk I'm willing to take." He said, his head facing the floor.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Suspense - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,304 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 6/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Nothing On Earth by greenconverses reviews
By society's standards, they could never be together - Lily was wealthy and already engaged. James was London street trash. When they meet on board the RMS Titanic, the connection is instant and soon, nothing can keep them apart...except maybe an iceberg.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 144,422 - Reviews: 487 - Favs: 246 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 4/20/2006 - Published: 1/3/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Once Upon a Time reviews
Bella is just the average girl, but soon enough she meets Edward, crowned prince, and everything changes. She discovers love, drama, and heartbreak in a way she had never experienced. Fairy tale setting. T just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 19,052 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 4/4/2009 - Published: 8/18/2008 - Bella, Edward
Sugar Highs and Movies reviews
DaniCullen12 Challenge. Way more random than you would expect. But not too random. You'll see.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,005 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/7/2008 - Published: 5/23/2008 - Complete
A Series of Coincidental Events reviews
Jasper and Alice's adoptive daughter finds an old photo album that brings back painful memories.She doesnt know about Ed and Bella or vamps for that matter!1st fic!Don't care if you review or not.Just don't like flames.They burn.story better than summary
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Mystery - Chapters: 12 - Words: 11,300 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/31/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008 - Complete