Profanity/Vulgarity Warning: If you are one who is offended by the mere mention of certain words, I will mortify you! I am not good at restraining myself and I will let loose when expressing myself; you have been warned!

NOTICE! AS OF FEBRUARY 2021:

The section for Release the Hook has been removed from the SHIT I'M WORKING ON section as it has now been completed and posted. Hope y'all enjoy! :)

LINKS:

For those who are curious about the challenges I'm answering in Twisted Bonds: The Ultimate Sin, there are on this profile:

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1907372/

Give Draco some support, eh? :)

OTHER PENNAMES:

In case my stories are taken down, due to the highly-subjective, unclear "rules" of this site, you can find me on Ficwad. I'm also on DeviantArt and Adult Fanfiction. These are my pennames:

Drunkmansquakin666(Ficwad)

DrunkManSquakin(Adult Fan Fiction)

BobtheSkull666(Deviant Art)

As of today(Dec 30, 2020), I have become very inactive on these sites for the time being in light of life and my writing here pulling me away from them, but I am definitely considering them and Ao3 as alternative places for my work in case it gets taken down here by the squeamish masses.

SHIT I'M WORKING ON:

(Note: this does not include the stories I'm regularly updating [Vulpine Overlord: Volume One and The Mirran, as of December 30th, 2020].)

TWISTED BONDS: THE ULTIMATE SIN

An answer to the "Naruto Hates the Yondaime Hokage Challenge" by dracohalo117, along with his "Uchiha and Hyuuga; Naruto's Defenders" idea by Dracohalo117. Heavy AU! Naruto x Harem!

Warnings: Brutal Violence, Language, Incest, Lemons, Impregnation, Inbreeding, Villainous Protagonists, Drug Usage, Character Death, OOC and AU Shenanigans!

Summary: (coming soon)

Status: Being overhauled (December 30th, 2020)

SILVER AND GOLD

A Naruto/Claymore Crossover. Minor Bleach Crossover. Naruto x Jean!

Warnings: Brutal Violence, Language, Crude Humor, Awkward Humor, Dark Humor, Eventual Lemons and Impregnation.

Summary: (coming... eventually)

Status: Being overhauled (December 30th, 2020)

A DIFFERENT ROAD

An AU idea that spiraled out of control. Naruto x Harem! Heavy!AU, OC!Main Girl, No!Akatsuki, No!Kaguya, the Kyuubi's an actual demon, Older!Naruto, Competent!Kakashi, Alive!Rin, Revised!Uzumaki Clan!

Warnings: Brutal Violence, Character Death, Language, Crude Humor, Awkward Humor, Dark Humor, Eventual Lemons, Impregnation, Lolicon, Shotacon, Age Gap (older female), AU and OOC Shenanigans, and Prominent OCs.

Summary: Graduating after his second attempt, Naruto is placed on a team of fellow misfits under the direct tutelage of Hatake Kakashi. With no Uchiha in sight and both of his teammates being female, his life as a whole goes down a very different road.

Status: Still in early production... (December 30th, 2020)

SNAKE-LADY'S DAUGHTER

Finally getting around to writing that Naruto x Ami fanfic! Unfortunately for him... or perhaps very much so, she also just so happens to be Anko's daughter.

Warnings: Brutal Violence, Language, Crude Humor, Awkward Humor, Dark Humor, Lemons, Impregnation, Lolicon, Shotacon, General Perversion, AU and OOC Shenanigans, and Whatever Else I Fucking Add!

Summary: Hoping to get a leg up on the competition for Sasuke-Kun, Ami approaches Naruto with a proposal that he simply cannot refuse: let her practice on him. She learns how to please a man and he gets laid; it's a win-win! Unfortunately, this has some... unforeseen consequences.

Status: Still in early production... (December 30th, 2020)

OTHER SHIT I PLAN TO WRITE (PAIRINGS AND REASONS):

(All are assumed to be postponed, until further notice, or unless indicated otherwise.)

NARUTO FICS:

1.) Uzumaki Naruto x Himawari

Reason: You want someone done right, do it yourself. Yes, I said "someone" on purpose... and I meant "done" in more ways than one. XD

2.) Naruto x Karui

Reason: Same as the above

3,) Uzumaki Naruto x Yandere!Himawari

Reason: Danger loli Himawari appeals to me far more than it should...

WARCRAFT FICS:

(Coming eventually... I need to get my WoW account back before I can comfortably tackle them, though... T_T [May 3rd, 2017])

NARUTO CROSSVERS:

1.) Far from Home

Naruto x Kaalia of the Vast

Crossover: Naruto/Magic: the Gathering

Reason: Just wanna give Kaalia some love, lol.

2.) Fox and Monkey

Naruto x Fasha

Reason: Been wanting to write this for a while. Fasha was the OG female saiyan and the thought of Naruto getting some weremonkey tsundere puss puss amuses me.

PERSONAL SHIT:

Things I Enjoy/Like:

Spending time with my wife

Writing (I'm looking to start writing my own original stories while practicing through fanfiction.)

Naruto fanfiction (The way the story ended was just... bad. And don't get me started on Boruto!)

Music (I listen to metal more than anything, but I'll jam to literally any genre.)

Reading good fanfics

Reading fanfics with rare, non-yaoi pairings involving Naruto, himself

Reading well-written Fanfics with rare yuri pairings

Being an troll (In good, harmless fun, mind you...)

Being honest

Being myself

Anime and Manga (I lean towards fantasy, generally speaking.)

Porn and hentai (WHAT?! At least I'm honest, dammit!)

Role-playing games (I lean towards Fantasy, specifically.)

Well-written yuri, incest and harem fanfics

Being an unapologetic degenerate

Things I Hate/Dislike:

Yaoi (More of a disinterest than a dislike, to be honest. I don't read it, because I don't want to and I have no real reason to be interested. It really is that simple...)

Poorly-written literary smut (Seriously, people, that is why porn was invented... . I'm a guy, dammit! If I wanna see that shit, I'mma sit on my lazy ass and watch it, rather than going through the completely unnecessary trouble of reading it and picturing the events in my head, y'know? Unless it's done well, it's just not worth the effort.)

M-Rated Fanfics that have no gore, language, or sex (Panzy Bitches! Give it the rating for a reason, dammit!)

Lazy dumbasses who don't read my warnings and complain about the content of my stories (I put them there for a reason, chucklefuck! If you don't wanna read a story with something, read the warnings and fuck off when you see that item on the list!)

Canon nazis (They seem to have gone extinct, but I still don't like it when someone bitches at me for something I changed in my fanfic for a reason.)

Feminazis (Inclusivity and acceptance my ass; news flash: being a bigot towards white, Christian males is still being a bigot! And yet people who do this shit have the audacity to wonder why so many people are leaving the Left...)

People being assholes to others in a rude or malicious way in general

People belittling others because of their race, gender, etc. in general

Those who belittle others for wanting to try something different

Favorite Anime/Manga/Light Novels (so far):

Kill la Kill--This shit was straight up one of the best anime I've ever seen... if not the best, because it had damn near everything I love from the humor, to the action!

Puella Magi Madoka Magica--Trippy as balls and not without its flaws, but a mindfuck of the best kind, in my opinion.

Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt--We all have our guilty pleasures. =3 It's just too damn hilarious for me not to love! Until Season Two is confirmed, though, just... disregard that last end credit scene, and you're good.

Darling in the Franxx--The ending was kinda sloppy, but at the same time, it was just so beautiful... I fucking loved it from start to finish. The manga was definitely an improvement, though.

Konosuba--Fucking love the humor. Also, Megumin is best girl! I look forward to trying the light novels.

The Saga of Tanya the Evil--Likely to shoot straight up to the top if the anime and manga are anything to go by. I am definitely getting my hands on the light novels as soon as possible!

Overlord--Still a bit new to this fandom and the anime was kinda... shit, but more because of the animation than anything to be fair. The story and characters were an absolute treat. The manga is better, but not nearly as far along and I can't fucking wait to read the light novels!

Black Lagoon--Why would I not like this shit? Tits, guns, and 'splodies, 'nuff said!

Girls und Panzer--Wonky as all shit, but oddly charming, I must say.

Outlaw Star--A classic, enough said.

GATE: Jieitai Kanochi nite, Kaku Tatakaeri--Rory Mercury is best girl! The anime is shit in comparison to the manga, though. Still haven't been able to find the light novels, sadly.

Battle Royale--I feel like a terrible person for liking this Manga, but, damn it, I do! It was the first series I collected in its entirety, too.

Yosuga no Sora--I gotta say, I love how this Anime is basically four different love stories in a single story. It was very unusual and fucking awesome! =3 If incestuous elements are not your thing, though, I don't recommend it.

Hellsing--They seriously need to start making anime like this again.

Black Rock Shooter--Mostly here for the kickass visuals, but I liked it very much and that ending was quite the entertaining mindfuck.

Future Diary--I really am a terrible person, aren't I? XD I know it's shit, but I like it, damn it! That's all there is to say.

Claymore--The Manga's just too cool for me not to love, even despite all the glaring flaws my old, jaded ass can see, now. Riful is best girl! (The biggest problem I have with it is that all of the girls seem to be a bunch of one-trick ponies... Ugh...)

Deathnote--Mostly for nostalgic reasons, now. Never before this series had I seen something where the main character is also the villain, but Light was pulled off quite well, in my opinion. The show kinda died when Kira pulled off one of the most badass things I've ever seen though, because it overstayed its welcome and the ending was shit.

Yu-Gi-Oh!--Again, mostly here for nostalgic reasons. Though I no longer play the games and dropped the second series, the first one was a major part of my childhood. It's cheesy as all fuck, but the series has its own charm.

Naruto--Hate the storyline, but damn do I like the setting and characters! It's a bit of a guilty pleasure to be honest and served as my gateway into true otakudom.