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Joined 02-05-08, id: 1493170, Profile Updated: 07-15-14
Author has written 5 stories for Artemis Fowl, Maximum Ride, Warriors, and Star Trek: 2009.

Hey all! This is Owly speaking! yeah, I've just re-organized my profile, deleting a lot of stuff and starting anew...fun, right? You know how long it took me? An hour...yes, I know, very sad. But what can I say? I'M SOOO BORED!!

So first, a little bit about me:

My name is confidential.

My age is somewhere between 5 and 83. (Why 83? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!!) No, really. I could be six for all you know, just really really smart. (Or 83 and really young sounding...)

I am an INTP according to the Meyer Briggs test (which I've taken many many times, always with Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving. I am part of the 1 of the population who are like me, or something. Cool, huh?)

I love to read and write.

Figure skating is my sport. It's one of the only sports I'm actually good at (the other being horseback riding) and not to blow my own horn, but I'm pretty good. Only problem: It's expensive and I don't have the money to actually get better. :( I suffer from FSWS. Figure skating withdrawal syndrome. Why? Because my rink only has two hours of skating for figure skaters a week. NOT enough to satisfy my skating needs.

I absolutely positively love science and math too.

Have you ever felt that your life is boring? Like, if you just daydreamed enough, you might wake up one day in your favorite fandom? I dunno. I think that's why I started writing fanfiction in the first place: because I really can't stand my life. Anyone wanna commiserate?

LEGOLAS IS AWESOME!! AND SO IS WILL TURNER! IT'S ALMOST LIKE THEY'RE THE SAME PERSON...wait...

List of ten guys better than Edward Cullen (in no particular order):

1. Spock (or Zachary Quinto)

2. Chekov (or Anton Yelchin)

3. Legolas (or Orlando Bloom)

4. James T. Kirk (or Chris Pine)

5. Jesus Christ (AKA God)

6. My best friend, Boaz

7. Percy Jackson

8. Jack Sparrow

9. Jeremy Abbott (sp?)

10. Hikaru Sulu

11. Evan Lysacek

12. Aragorn

13. Boromir

14. Elrond

15. Harry Potter

16. Johnny Weir (even though he's weird...)

17. Adam Rippon

18. My friend from school, Quint

Oops. I went over 10. See? This proves that Edward Cullen isn't everything. Some of the guys on my list were even real!! -gasp- :)

Ok, just a quick rant on something here:

I'M A NERD AND PROUD OF IT!!

I'm obsessed with Star Trek. I know. You have a point?

I have a fictionpress account, but i'm still working on the beginning of an original story for it. :D

About all the stories that I've written: I'm really sorry they're not finished. You have no clue. I just don't know where to go. I really don't. :(

Flames usually upset me. Constructive criticism is much nicer. If you hate my story, please be nice about it. Haha, who am I kidding? If you hate my story, you're probably goign to flame it. Just remember: If you flame it, please tell me what you're flaming: whether the story line itself, the characters, or my writing. It would be most helpful. :) What I'm saying: PLEASE FLAME. Or if not flame, PLEASE CRITICIZE!! (But be precise. K thanx bai.)

I'm really hyper a lot, and can be really serious a lot. Depending on who you are and what I've eaten that day, you all know a different me!! :D


Ok, so now a little about my stories:

So, right now I've only got a few things written. And the few things I have written are hopelessly messed up, horrible, and incomplete. I'm sorry. Right now, they just don't talk to me. Ya know? It's like one of my favorite authors said once (It was Rick Riordan.) "You have to write a story that tells itself." So, those stories used to tell themselves, but right now they don't. I'm sorry!! On the bright side, I'm working on two fanfics that ARE writing themselves. So for anyone out there who (by some miracle, and probably a lot of head damage) likes my writing, here is the stuff I'm working on right now:

Star Trek: Girl thrown into the future, yada yada yada...Only problem: she believes everything is a hallucination. Why? Well, she has an unknown and possibly terminal disease, and had been suffering from frequent hallucinations from the medication. Funness ensues! Not sure if it's gonna be lighthearted or not, not sure if it's going to be 2009 Trek or TOS. I'm leaning towards TOS.


So, in this section we're going to have a bunch of funny little blurbs and stuff like that...enjoy!!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was

born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When

I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you

go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

If you think that Twilight was horrible, but still think it'd be cool to have those special vampire powers, repost this. :)

/l、
(゚、 。 7
l、 ヽ
じしf,)ノ


Yaaaay kitty!

This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your
signature to help him gain world domination.

Ways to know you are obsessed with PJO:

When its thundering, you wonder what Zeus is mad about.

you read all of Demigod Files the night it came out.

You have read the preview of the last olympian at least five times.

You think you are a demigod

when you get a sunburn, you blame Apollo

you have actually sworn on the river Styx

you have tried to explain greek mythology to small children.

you have corrected your social studies teacher during a unit on ancient greece.

you blame Hermes when your computer crashes

you will never go to Canada because you don't want to be eaten by Laistrygonians.

you say things like " oh my gods" or "go to tartarus"

You think you know who your olympian parent is.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why.
"
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

This has got to be one of the most clever
brainteasers I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much
spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry @#&!!

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

This is my oath. I pledge it until the end. "Why?" you may ask. Because you are my friend. Friendship is like peeing your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can truly feel its warmth.

When life gives you lemons, make grapefruit juice, and let life wonder how the heck you did that!

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?

Why is verb a noun?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there?

Why is it called after dark when really it's after light?

Here's a joke...

there are 3 men who need to get across a lake...

the 1st one prays to God asking for the strength to get across...

he gets big muscles and swims across...

but almost dies 5 times...

the 2nd 1 prays to God for the strength and the tools he needs to get across...

he gets his big muscles and boat and rows across...

but he almost dies 3 times...

the 3rd 1 prays to God, for the strength, tools, and the brains...

he turns into a woman...

walks 4 yards...

and crosses the bridge

Ways to Annoy people at the cinema:

Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing!"

Go, "Oooooh..." whenever anyone kisses.

Clap when the good guy gets killed.

During the previews, yell, "Can you fast-forward it?"

Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, "Watch out!"

Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.

Tell the man selling popcorn that the bathroom is flooding.

Yell out what is going to happen.

Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell, "I'm Batman! Hahaha!" and run away.

Say that they cannot sit next to you because you invisible friend already is.

Dress for every movie as if it were the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Use empty chairs next to you as catapults with candy. Aim at specific people behind you and see if you can hit anyone in the back row.

Wear 3D glasses. Complain loudly how bad the effects are.

Bring a flashlight. In the middle of the film do shadow puppets on the ceiling.

Bring a remote control. Complain that you can't change the channel.

Sit front row, the minute the movie starts run out screaming.

Every time a character's name is mentioned do the Richmeister. (for a guy named Nick say, the Nickmeister, the Nickenator, Nickarino...)

Bring a beach ball. Toss it around.

Try to start a wave.

Become a bookie. Take bets on who will die first.

Sit in the back and throw eggs at the projection window.

Every time someone curses cover your ears and scream, "No profanity!"

Sing with the theme music.

Bring and use your own air freshener.

At the ticket booth, request tickets for really old movies, "I'll have two tickets for the Goonies."

Throw spit wads on the screen. Try throwing them on the upper part of the screen so they can't get scraped off.

Pass around a collection plate and see if anyone contributes.

Point a laser pointer at the screen. Give the audience a laser light show.

Bring a book and a bright light. Start reading the book with the light on. When someone asks you to turn out the light, yell, "Shh, I'm trying to read!"

Use binoculars. Stare at the audience rather than the movie.

Bring a Nintendo laser gun. Shoot at the screen.

Clap loudly every time a person walks into the theater late.

When someone kicks the back of your chair, scream, "Ahhh, whiplash!"

Ask what the theater's return policy on popcorn is.

Ask the person at the ticket window, "Do you work here?"

Start a standing ovation at the end of the movie.

Quote all dialogue 4 seconds after it is said on the screen.

Get up frequently and leave the room while singing "Let's all go to the Lobby to get ourselves a treat"

Every time there is a gun shot scream, "Hit the floor!", jump on the floor, and cover your head.

Wear one of those "cat in the hat" top hats.

When someone walks by you in the aisle scream, "Ahhhhhh! Bad Touch!"

Play musical chairs, getting up frequently and moving right next to someone sitting by themself.

Bring your own beanbag chair and sit in the aisle.

During a love scene, stand up and run to the screen shouting "Hooters!"

Before the movie begins, tape fart cusions to various chairs in the theater room.


Bring a portable air popper, pop your own popcorn.

Bring a watergun and shoot it at anyone who begins talking then say very loudly, "SHH!"

Before the commercials start and people are just coming in and shout so that people outside can hear, "I'M SO VERY SORRY! YOU'RE TOO LATE!"

Tie a cardboard box around your waist and walk up and down the aisles shouting "Get your popcorn, peanuts!"

Cough really loudly right at the most important part of the movie, so nobody can here it, like when the killer’s name is going to be said.

Laugh hysterically during the sad parts in the movie, cry during the funny ones.

Bring a pager or cellphone and set them off every 5 minutes, you can also set off a watch alarm if you have a loud one.

Say "Shhhhh" every 5 minutes.

Pass by a room that’s showing a movie you’ve already seen, put your head into the room, and scream the ending

Some say the glass is half full, others the glass is half empty, all I want to know is who's drinking my water!

Ten things to see before you die

1. A vegitarian be eaten by an animal.

2. An emo kid talk about happy bunnies.

3. Homer say somthing intellegent.

4. Taxes disaper.

5. Voldemort destroy one of his Horcruxes.

6. Micheal Jackson be stalked by children.

7. Children take over class and teach teacher in child subjects, such as: armpit farts, skate-boarding, real music, ect.

8. Wrestling people forget their moves.

9. The coyote catch the road runner.

10. The reation of the teen population if abercombie was closed and it was illegle to wear thier clothing.

Ten Signs of Obsession with a Book (Series) or Movie

10. You are constantly thinking about it.

9. You have at least a billion characterizations and opinions about it and want to discuss it 24/7.

8.You are thinking of parodies for it and posting them in fanfiction.net.

7.You have a billion questions you want to ask the author (e.g. Does Annabeth have a bellybutton? How does Edward react when he hears sixties' music?).

6. Your friends and immediate family notice that this book (series) or movie is all you ever talk about.

5. You daydream about it when you are bored.

4.You are constantly thinking of sequels or prequels and putting them on fanfiction.net.

3. When you doodle, it happens to be one or more characters or a symbol in the book (series) or movie.

2.You reread/rewatch the book (series) or movie on a daily basis.

1. You think about it every night before you go to sleep.

LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

11. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

12. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

16. A calendar's days are numbered.

17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

18. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

19. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

20. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

21. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large.

22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

23. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

28. Acupuncture: a jab well done.

29. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crud out of them.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" That's a really good question...i wonder...

Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and geting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy.So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality they are amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

A True Boyfriend =

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steals your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.


I love funny quotes. Here are some that I absolutely love!

"Hi Christopher. I'm Nero." -Nero from Star Trek 2009.

"You greenblooded hobgoblin!" -McCoy. (!!)

"Out of the chair." -Spock

"Live long and prosper." -Spock and pretty much every other dang Vulcan in Star Trek.

Jack: "MY PEANUT!!"

Chekov: "Nine-four- weector- weector- two."
Computer: "Command not recognized."
Chekov: "Nine-four...vweector...vweector-two." -Chekov. (You gotta love 'im!)

"I can do zat! I can do zat!" -Chekov.

McCOY: Permission to speak freely, sir?
SPOCK: I welcome it.
McCOY: Really? Ok. Are you out of your Vulcan mind?!

"You're from the future. That's brilliant! Do they still have sandwiches there?" -Scotty

"Numb tongue? I can fix that!" (McCoy hypos Jim). "DANG IT!!"

"I had a seat...in the bathroom!" -Bones

"I suffer from aviophobia...the fear of dying in something that flies!!" -McCoy

Pike: "Any one here have any hand to hand combat training?"
Sulu: "I do, Captain."
Kirk: "What did you train in?"
Sulu: "Fencing."

Elizabeth: "There will come a moment when you will have the chance to do the right thing."
Jack: "I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by."

Jack: "Gentlemen! I wash my hands of this weirdness."

Jack: "Why would he do that? Because he's a lummox, isn't he? Well, we shall have a magnificent garden party and you're not invited!"

"The cow says moo." (visit my school chorus for an explanation, or just Pm me. either one works. :)

"We must fight-to run away!" Captain Jack Sparrow

"I've got a jar of dirt, I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's inside it!" Captain Jack Sparrow

"Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?" Captain Jack Sparrow

Me, I'm dishonest. And you can always trust a dishonest person to be dishonest. Honestly. But it's the honest ones you have to look out for, because they're the ones who will always do something stupid. - Jack Sparrow

"You forgot one very important thing: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow"-um, If i have to tell you who said that, you need to go get your head checked.

"BLEEEEAAAAAAARGH!" -me, waking up in the morning to find out that it really is monday and that I need to learn to count the days of the weekend.

"GOOD GRIEF ALAN!" my science teacher yelling at one of my friends.

"SHARKS WITH LASERS!" my ancient history teacher.

"Power corrupts, but absolute power is kinda cool." some sign i saw somewhere.

"What the heck is filaful" my teacher. I don't know about the spelling there.

"Skating comes first, food comes second. Wait...did I just say that?" -a coach i knew once.

The fool appears wise until he opens his mouth. The Bible

I warn you, if you bore me, I shall take my revenge. J.R.R Tolkien

I am told that I talk in shorthand and then smudge it. J.R.R Tolkien

It is the job that is never started that takes longest to finish. J.R.R. Tolkien

"hahahahaha (Just FYI it's hysterical laughter right there.) OH LOOK A DOGGGIE!!" -me on a sugarless sugar high. :D


And now for some fun copy and pasty-thingies!!

If you want to talk to Voldemort through the Diary Horcrux, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to perform "accio" or any other spell with a stick, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you secretly believe (and hope) that J.K.R. is really a Hogwarts alumni pretending it is fictional, copy this into your profile.

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a myspace and you don't want a myspace, copy this into your profile.

if you're different in a good way put this in your profile.

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile!

If, for some odd reason, you noticed that it was a miracle that something from the ship didn’t conk Lord Beckett in the noggin when he was about to die, copy and paste this to your profile.

A large percent of authors do not know the difference between 'your' and 'you're'. If you do know the difference, copy and paste this to your profile

If you ever wanted to be a hero from Greek mythology, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever tripped over a "Watch your step" sign, copy and past this into your profile.

Everyone is out there, swooning over McCoy or Kirk or Spock. Anyone else think Chekov is adorable?! Copy and paste if you do!

If you HATE twilight except for the fact that the special vampire talents are AWESOME, repost this.

If you know some people that deserve to be run over by a bus, copy and past this into your profile.

If you LOVE Orlando Bloom, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know that PIRATES are indeed better than ninjas, please copy. (No offense to Ninja people out there)

If you feel that classical music is AWESOME, but under appreciated by others, copy this.

If you wish you can enter the world of POTC and make differences in that world, copy this.

If you had that urge to want to sing "I Got a Jar of Dirt", copy this.

If you are addicted to Fan-Fiction, copy this.

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are obsessed with Pirates of the Caribbean, copy and paste this into your profile. (hums "Yo Ho Yo Ho A Pirates Life For Me")

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have the most RANDOM dreams, copy this.

If you daydream 24/7, copy this to your profile.

If you were the girl who dreamed of a Starfleet captain while the other girls were dreaming of a vampire, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

Ninety-Five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, and put it in your profile

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of the teenage population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said that it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. Put this in your profile if you're part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off.

If you are so obsessed with POTC, that you want the movies to be based off of true events, copy this.

If you can go on a sugar buzz without even eating sugar, again, join the club and copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are completely and without a doubt random, copy and paste this to your profile. THIS IS SPARTA!!

If you've ever accidentally spoken in chatspeak, copy and paste this into your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If sometimes your fanfics seem to write themselves, copy this into your profile.

If you're looking at these copy and paste things and thinking: I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE!, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you are the kind of person that gets really excited when you get like two reviews, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

Well, that's the end of my profile. Did you enjoy it? Any suggestions? Well, if there are, I hope you PM me and tell me. Don't worry, I dont' bite. I'm pretty friendly most of the time!! :)

-Owly

P.S. I'd really appreciate it if you'd read my stories and leave a constructive comment or two. Not too harsh, please, i'm sensitive. :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Less Wrong reviews
Petunia married a biochemist, and Harry grew up reading science and science fiction. Then came the Hogwarts letter, and a world of intriguing new possibilities to exploit. And new friends, like Hermione Granger, and Professor McGonagall, and Professor Quirrell... COMPLETE.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 122 - Words: 661,619 - Reviews: 29626 - Favs: 15,833 - Follows: 14,272 - Updated: 3/14 - Published: 2/28/2010 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
And Yet The Sun Shines by E.L. Berkeley reviews
No matter how desperately Miraleth longed to stay in her forests of Imladris, where the sun shined and the grass grew, the War of the One Ring seemed determined to tear her away. Legolas/OC
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 74,435 - Reviews: 197 - Favs: 176 - Follows: 311 - Updated: 3/13 - Published: 6/9/2012 - Legolas, Elf
Symptoms of Fatigue by JadeMac2442 reviews
Kirk has been awake for ninety-six hours. He's pushed past his limits and is about to collapse from exhaustion. They saved Earth, they destroyed the Narada. Now they just have to make it home. A friendship fic.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 46,262 - Reviews: 2054 - Favs: 2,487 - Follows: 2,914 - Updated: 2/22 - Published: 9/17/2009 - J. Kirk, Spock
Interviews With a Woodelf by dreamingfifi reviews
CAUTION: LEGOLAS IS NOT IN THIS STORY! It's 1998, and a man with a driver's license thirty years out of date has been found. This would be insignificant, but he looks exactly like he did thirty years ago.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,742 - Reviews: 100 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/8 - Published: 5/31/2004 - Elf, OC - Complete
Nous by S. McCoy reviews
Ariadne has tried to forget the pure creation of the dream world and content herself with her studies, but once you've been involved in something as singular as an inception, you become a commodity. One that some people wouldn't mind killing for.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 66,849 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 509 - Follows: 469 - Updated: 12/16/2011 - Published: 8/23/2010 - Ariadne, Arthur - Complete
Warped by Ac Colins reviews
Jim had something to prove. Leo had nowhere else to go. Mal had a thing for fixer-uppers. Bones/Oc but the whole gang is there.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 107,232 - Reviews: 985 - Favs: 380 - Follows: 417 - Updated: 11/11/2011 - Published: 11/21/2009 - L. McCoy/Bones, J. Kirk
Reckless Abandonment by Buddy Kenneth reviews
With the Golden Trio focused on finding Voldemort's horcruxes, Morgan Caldwell is entrusted to go back in time to find something the Dark Lord hid during his 6th year at Hogwarts. She was prepared for trouble, but not a charming Tom Riddle. SEE PROFILE FOR NEWS CONCERNING UPDATES!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 153,969 - Reviews: 661 - Favs: 585 - Follows: 555 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Tom R. Jr., OC
The Last Jedi by Darth Marrs reviews
There are no Jedi; no Sith. There are Abnormals—persons born with a midi-chlorian count proscribed at a dangerous level by the Galactic Empire. Those persons are euthanized immediately upon discovery. That is, until they come for the son of the last Jedi.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Fantasy - Chapters: 46 - Words: 184,903 - Reviews: 1063 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 345 - Updated: 3/24/2011 - Published: 1/30/2010 - Complete
Saga of the Wolf: Wolfheart, Wolflight, Wolfsong by RK9 reviews
A female joins the Fellowship on their journey. The thing is, she's not exactly human...She's not a 10th member of the Fellowship, don't worry. Not a Mary-Sue either. Working on next chapter, poem added to chap 48.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 170,762 - Reviews: 1007 - Favs: 546 - Follows: 470 - Updated: 9/29/2010 - Published: 6/1/2008
Heartbeat by keiraliz reviews
What if Elizabeth wasn't the woman Will married during the battle in the third film? What if he didn't meet her until more than 200 years later? AU, Post-AWE, Modern Willabeth.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 45,652 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 6/11/2010 - Published: 6/11/2009 - Will T., Elizabeth S. - Complete
The CMOs Daughter by pdljmpr6 reviews
Someone once dared him to do better and it has made all the difference. When he has the opportunity to do the same for someone else, he can only hope they are as stubborn as he once was.
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 13 - Words: 28,429 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 4/5/2010 - Published: 9/16/2009 - J. Kirk, L. McCoy/Bones
Fair Wanderer, Thou Makest Me Sicker by Araloth the Random reviews
The Bane of Legolas, a Sue with Maia powers able to mangle Shakespeare beyond recognition, proclaims herself Queen of Rivendell. What happens when Legolas gets married and Sauron gets involved? Total madness ensues. . .
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 45,290 - Reviews: 190 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 2/28/2009 - Complete
Enchanted Again by greenjelly16 reviews
When Ella of Frell breaks her curse of obedience, she unknowingly gives it to another girl, Lily. Fed up with her family's demands, Lily runs away and is tossed into a perilous world of royalty and ogres, magic and swords, love and betrayal.
Ella Enchanted - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 97,989 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 2/15/2010 - Published: 1/22/2006 - Complete
Letter To The Manufacturer by Alexis Seven reviews
SUBJECT: Parachute Malfunction
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,083 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 1/5/2010 - Published: 11/21/2009 - J. Kirk - Complete
Chin Up, Chekov by Incoming Grapefruit reviews
Chekov is the youngest ensign in Starfleet history. And sometimes, the crew treat him accordingly. Struggling to boost his self-esteem, will a late night conversation with the captain help bring him to the realisation that he's not as alone as he thinks?
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,522 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 450 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/30/2009 - Published: 11/29/2009 - P. Chekov, J. Kirk - Complete
If the choice were mine to make by scf3 reviews
COMPLETE. At the Battle of Hogwarts not only Voldemort but also Harry and Ron die. Four years later Hermione still struggles with grief and self-reproaches when she suddenly meets Snape again.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 45 - Words: 112,349 - Reviews: 679 - Favs: 319 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 11/21/2008 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
Untamed by Ac Colins reviews
Another human girl has stumbled into Narnia and she isn't about to go swooning for some blonde king or his moody brother. Edmund can't stand the simpering women at court. He wants something more than just an anchor holding him back. Set in the Golden Age.
Chronicles of Narnia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 71,866 - Reviews: 937 - Favs: 677 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 11/7/2009 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Edmund Pevensie - Complete
The Fanfiction Testament by Araloth the Random reviews
*MEFA 2010 nominee!* And from the LoTR Obsessants proceedeth the Fanfiction writers. But not all were true to Canon, and thus there was much flaming and strife among them. And Legolas spake unto the fangirls. . .
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,914 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 10/1/2009 - Published: 5/24/2009 - Complete
Ask Elrond by labradorite reviews
Ask Lord Elrond any and all of your most personal questions! Go on, it’s easy! Just slip your anonymous letter in the box stationed outside of his office and expect a reply within the week. NO tampering with letters. That means YOU, Elladan and Elrohir!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 75,853 - Reviews: 902 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 9/18/2009 - Published: 5/14/2009 - Elrond - Complete
Dawn of Friendship by Silivren Tinu reviews
A collection of short Legolas little Estel friendship stories. Chapter 12: A Fighting Chance. Summary: Estel learns some lessons in archery, unaware that the skills he is now acquiring will one day help to decide the fate of Middle-earth.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,137 - Reviews: 327 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 6/30/2009 - Published: 6/15/2006 - Aragorn, Legolas
Consumed by Herald of Woe reviews
Feanor and his descendants weren't forgiven by the Valar, but there is a chance they can be redeemed...mild AU. NO 10thWalker. NO Legomance. OC. Covers pre-WotR-4th age, with refs from 1st & 2nd age. Covers other nations during Wotr. CH3 when upload works
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,155 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/14/2009 - Published: 6/2/2009
Fair Wanderer, Thou Makest Me Sick by Araloth the Random reviews
*MEFA 2010 nominee!* Whilst wandering through Ithilien Legolas has the misfortune to meet a Sue in denial who thinks she can speak Shakespearean English.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/22/2009 - Complete
The Birds and the Bees by Mr. Hyde Returns reviews
Zuko is trapped giving one clueless Avatar Sex-Ed. Katara and Sokka and Toph supposedly 'help'. Read and Review! Please! T for language. Especialy Zuko's.
Avatar: Last Airbender - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,354 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 6/10/2008
Torture of a Different Kind by Nelarun reviews
As if we needed another reason to hate the Elves. Immortal, Wisest and Fairest of all beings... Well here it is....
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 292 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/20/2006 - Aragorn, Elrohir - Complete
A Merry War by Elendiari22 reviews
The hobbits are bent on revenge when they learn that they were needlessly dragged through the Midgewater Marshes. A prank war with Aragorn ensues.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 20,353 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 10/18/2005 - Published: 6/20/2005 - Meriadoc B., Aragorn
Elven Song by Jocelyn reviews
A member of the Fellowship is murdered. Ahh, how long we've all waited for this word...COMPLETE! Legolas discovers just how much he is loved by those in Middle Earth, Minas Tirith's guests return home...and Disaran gets his just desserts!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 118,779 - Reviews: 832 - Favs: 484 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 3/20/2004 - Published: 11/22/2002 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unstoppable reviews
That day, everything went wrong. We should never have met. Now that we have, the universe has been changed. Permanently." Bones x OC...maybe. NOT a MarySue. Mostly movie based, but the plot tribbles have been interfering laterly. R&R!
Star Trek: 2009 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 79,943 - Reviews: 155 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 7/24/2011 - Published: 1/3/2010 - L. McCoy/Bones, J. Kirk
Beyond the Imagination: A Journey to Nowhere reviews
So, the kids have formed a Star-clan sanctioned clan, and they are beginning their trip to join the real clans, as written by Erin Hunter. What will they meet on the way, and how will they settle once they're there? Sequel to Beyond the Imagination. R&R!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 19,307 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/3/2009 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Firestar
Beyond the Imagination reviews
Over the summer, there is almost nothing for Austin and her friends to do. They invent a clan for themselves and think it's imagining. Or is it? I've been fixing my writing, so the story gets better the further in you go. :D Please R&R!
Warriors - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 30,815 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 3/21/2009 - Published: 6/10/2008 - Complete
Artemis vs Milk Carton reviews
a 4-8 year old artemis battles inanimate objects. are they bombs? do they have the ability to perform simple cognitive functions? lets watch artemis find out. oneshots, just drabble.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,036 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/7/2008 - Published: 5/16/2008 - Artemis F. - Complete
Maximum Ride: The Script reviews
ok, so my friends an i are bored over the summer. Solution? Make a movie of Maximum Ride. so, here is the script so far. Including the theme song i wrote/changed. ENJOY! oh, please R&R so i can fix it for the better. :
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,798 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/8/2008