Mad Maudlin Hart
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Joined 02-05-08, id: 1493358, Profile Updated: 07-21-10

And Maudlin said, Let there be a bio page, and there was a bio page. And Maudlin saw that the bio page was insane, and Maudlin separated the bio page from the pseudo-biblical quoty thing like suchwise!


Who am I? I'm Mad Maudlin Hart. Usually. Occasionally I am a tea-chest full of absinthe and coconuts.

Look, shouldn't the name have tipped you off? "MAD" Maudlin? There is no sanity here. SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK! Er, sorry.


Team Alucard
Team Tyler's Van
Team STFU
Team Elric
Team Scissorhands


I read a lot of fanfic, but I don't write much... or at least not any that can be included on this site. Sporkings, mostly. I also have an original fiction in the works.


"Heheheheh... pointy hornlets. What are they for, if not for nomming?"

My EdWin can beat up your Bedward!

I think Girl Genius is a pretty cool guy. seh does sceince and doesn't afraid of her mom.


If I were to list all of my lust-objects here, this bio page would be long like a long thing in the world of longness. I have far too many, you see.


"Blast!" "Damn!" "Ohh bugger." "Frag!" "Truth on a motorbike..." "You humanoid!" "what is this I don't even" "Hell's Bells!" "OH MY GAH"


I ship canon pairings. Unless they are shitty adaptation decay pairings.


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Official Fanfiction University of Redwall by Kit and Minty reviews
Cowritten by Laburnum Steelfang and kitsune106d. An authorised spinoff of the Fanfiction University of Middleearth, where fanbrats come to learn through pain.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 17 - Words: 82,678 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 10/10/2006
Cornfield Madness by Tavia reviews
We're back! In honor of On Stranger Tides, I offer you a new chapter in the cornfield, featuring popcorn, bickering, and responses to the recent movie. CONTAINS SPOILERS!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 81,630 - Reviews: 416 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 11/11/2003
Redwall's Next Top Model by Kelaiah reviews
Where 12 female canon characters compete to show that they are the role model for all Redwall female characters.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Parody - Chapters: 32 - Words: 48,561 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 10/6/2009 - Published: 8/18/2007
The Human Whose Name Is Written In This Fanfiction by Gen Duruk reviews
Tired of reading the same old terrible fanfiction? Want a good laugh? Want to improve your writing? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this fic is for you! If you answered no to all of them this fic is still for you! Reviews or flames welcome.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,459 - Reviews: 307 - Favs: 217 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 9/13/2009 - Published: 8/12/2009 - L, Ukita H. - Complete
Everyone's Favorite Talk Show by warrior4 reviews
Another Sue, another show. Kelaiah, Arawolf, Kayln, Rector, Kris, Aelin, Kit, and Minty all doing what they do best. All alter egos used with permission.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 24,287 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 8/14/2009 - Published: 3/2/2008
How to Raise an Orc by Aelaer reviews
Complete. You thought elf and human children were hard to care for? Try orc children… Characters include Legolas, Aragorn, Thranduil, and OCs.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,159 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 11/1/2008 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Legolas, Aragorn - Complete
Kissing Sues by Kelaiah reviews
The most dangerous, most vile, most evil of all Sues: Kissing-Sues....
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,844 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/26/2008 - Published: 4/3/2008 - Complete
Poor Jenny Sits AFeeding by Cold Shadow Lady reviews
No-one could have guessed at the childhood of Davy Jones, or at the strange set of circumstances that united him with a rather bizarre new pet... A small vignette to while away the hours.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 30,251 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/28/2008 - Published: 1/14/2008 - Davy Jones
Brotherhood by blondie AKA robin reviews
The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting the Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Cowritten with the awesomely funny LindaRoo!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,198 - Reviews: 192 - Favs: 278 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008 - Complete
Linwe Seregon Swifteye by Kelaiah reviews
[PARODY] It was just another day at the abbey Song was the Abbess, Dann was the Champion, everything was going fine. Then the Marlfoxes mysteriously come back to life, and a beautiful squirrel with everchanging fur comes knocking at the Main Gates.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 19,409 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/12/2008 - Published: 3/16/2007
Blue Moon by Kelaiah reviews
PARODY Swartt Sixclaw sits alone one night, wishing that his dead wife, Bluefen, were back in his arms. He gets a lot more than he bargained for... a Mary-Sue, a raging bespecticled ferret, a roaring audience, and a tazering badger.
Redwall - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,882 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/28/2008 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Swartt Sixclaw, Veil - Complete
Moog by Foxieglove reviews
Series of oneshot fics starring Pintel and Ragetti, known fondly as Moog. Warning: Some chapters contain slash. UPDATED: New chapters! Pintel avenges a cruel prank on Ragetti, has a chat with Elizabeth about fathers, and risks Calypso's terrible wrath.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 10,791 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 7/15/2007 - Published: 4/18/2007 - Ragetti
Slaughter of the Crew of the Rusty Chain by Laburnum Steelfang reviews
A full version of the ballad so gory Mr Jacques wasn't allowed to publish it! Pull up a chair an' a flagon o' wine, join in iffen ye know the chorus! Rated T with VERY GOOD REASON.
Redwall - Rated: T - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 511 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Published: 1/11/2007 - Complete
The Alchemists' Fanfiction Academy by Amaterasoe reviews
The AFA: baffled (and sometimes angry) canon characters, a very persuasive non-canon staff and not-so-chibi-minis. Uh-oh. What will become of the students? [OFU authorized by Miss Cam]
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,740 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/10/2006 - Published: 4/19/2005
Flaming Queen Alchemist by Anasazi Darkmoon reviews
No Real Pairings. Oneshot. Roy Mustang lost a bet against Havoc and Breda and now has to keep his part of the bargain. Boy, won't East City be surprised?
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 846 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/6/2006 - Roy M., Scar - Complete
Beckon of the Fairy Woman by ohmygiddyaunt reviews
Inspired by one of Dinah's and Vincent's firstvolume adversaries.
Bizenghast - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 196 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Published: 1/8/2006 - Complete
Peace and Peace? by Dixieland Delight reviews
Have you ever been disgusted by an orc head on a pike? Have you ever wished for peace in Middle Earth? What about an Attack Mordor? No! bumper sticker? I present THE LORD OF THE RINGS, sans the violence, sans the plot.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 373 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/21/2004 - Frodo B., Sauron - Complete
The Most Interesting Adventures of Maeluiwen by Jen Littlebottom reviews
Introducing The Most Interesting Adventures of Maeluiwen, Warrior Princess, a Story of Some Small Merit, But Which May be of Interest to Certain Persons. Concerning a Most Tragic Romance and also Some Boobies.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,959 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/8/2003 - Published: 4/1/2003
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3111 - Favs: 1,878 - Follows: 178 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete