dietmountainlion123
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Joined 02-09-08, id: 1496610, Profile Updated: 08-03-11

I like to write, but rather read others' genius.

I'm lazy.

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Elemental by TallulahBelle reviews
AU/AH: When the Swans return to their birthplace, Bella learns she is no ordinary teenager, and Forks is no ordinary town. Can she fulfill her destiny with the powerful Edward Cullen, or will the dark forces that threaten their families destroy them all?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 30 - Words: 189,571 - Reviews: 9086 - Favs: 8,685 - Follows: 4,900 - Updated: 2/8/2011 - Published: 7/23/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Glitch by quothme reviews
Maybe there really is a glitch in Bella's brain. After all, she knows he's out there. She knows he's been watching her ever since she can remember. She's *not* crazy. Why won't anyone believe her? Dark humor a la Face Punch.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 67,750 - Reviews: 2424 - Favs: 1,842 - Follows: 1,171 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 4/18/2010 - Bella - Complete
Legendary by WhatsMyNomDePlume reviews
COMPLETE. Preternaturally irresistible, devastatingly charming Edward Cullen seems to have some strange power over the females in Forks…and Bella is scared she might know just what it is.M for language & naughty fun. Part mystery, part drama, all Edward.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 53,788 - Reviews: 1955 - Favs: 2,586 - Follows: 1,198 - Updated: 9/8/2010 - Published: 11/16/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Awake in the Infinite Cold by quothme reviews
Sometimes the fruit is forbidden for a reason. A mélange of Twilight and How to Be, with an Artward who so carefully and so softly sneaks under her skin and into her soul. Not your typical E/B romance. Complete.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 78,819 - Reviews: 3063 - Favs: 2,782 - Follows: 1,158 - Updated: 4/11/2010 - Published: 10/13/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Today by glasscannon.lj reviews
How can you miss a person you’ve never met? How can you ache from absence, when presence doesn’t precede it?" Alice wonders if today is the day her life will finally change. Canon, Alice/Jasper
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 921 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/4/2010 - Alice, Jasper - Complete
Dear Isabella by wtvoc reviews
He said "always". She wasn't so sure. All-human. M for language. All the usual angst applies.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 28,153 - Reviews: 499 - Favs: 886 - Follows: 277 - Updated: 1/28/2010 - Published: 1/1/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Sold, Sight Unseen by quothme reviews
The odds of him dialing her phone number are 3,720 to 1. Yet he does. Their chance conversation leads to something more. Something silly, then serious and a little scary. But in a good way. AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 26,130 - Reviews: 1540 - Favs: 3,037 - Follows: 599 - Updated: 1/17/2010 - Published: 1/12/2010 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Get Me to You by Chicklette reviews
Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 36,522 - Reviews: 939 - Favs: 1,376 - Follows: 300 - Updated: 8/19/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009 - Bella, Jasper - Complete
Renesmee's Twilight by SevyLu reviews
AU -- Bella didn't survive Renesmee's birth. All grown up, Renesmee wants to do something about that. Written for the twi exchange on LJ.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,751 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/5/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Edward - Complete
Tanqueray & Tonic and Other Assorted Cocktales by wtvoc reviews
side notes from Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by jandco and withthevampsofcourse. outtakes, if you will. starting with emmett. rated M for well... sexytimes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,062 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 408 - Follows: 326 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 11/6/2008
Scotch, Gin, and the New Girl by wtvoc reviews
Les Liaisons Dangereuses, je crois. We were Cruel Intentions. We are Gossip Girls. We do not care. At all." all-human.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 115,359 - Reviews: 3882 - Favs: 3,975 - Follows: 1,813 - Updated: 7/31/2009 - Published: 9/27/2008 - Complete
Once Upon A Time, In Therapy by AllyR reviews
How do you feel when your dad forces you into therapy? How do you deal with a boyfriend you can't seem to break up with? What do you do about the mysterious green-eyed boy who seems to hate everyone? Ask Bella Swan. AU, AH, OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 62,522 - Reviews: 910 - Favs: 1,451 - Follows: 369 - Updated: 7/19/2009 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Seven Seas by Maggiles reviews
Every year, London's aristocrats hold a grand Masquerade ball, a ball which Bella Swan detests. For you see, the ball is held in rememberence of Edward Cullen, the prince who vanished two hundred years ago. Legend says, he's coming back with a vengence.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,537 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 6/24/2009 - Published: 11/8/2008 - Edward, Bella
You Make Me Retch by Maggiles reviews
Bella Swan is an ex thief. Edward is a prince soon to be king. As Bella runs from arrest, she stumbles across Edward. Soon after that, all hell breaks loose in the Kingdom. Can two people who hate eachother fall in love? BXE REVIEWS EQUAL UPDATES!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 71,473 - Reviews: 940 - Favs: 425 - Follows: 537 - Updated: 6/23/2009 - Published: 1/2/2008 - Edward, Bella
Trumped into Bed by gallantcorkscrews reviews
On Hiatus. AH OOC. E/B engage in a battle of revenge that results in the demolition of their highschool reputations. Once they tire each other out with their antics, will they JUST DO IT?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 11 - Words: 45,434 - Reviews: 769 - Favs: 895 - Follows: 1,261 - Updated: 2/5/2009 - Published: 10/4/2008 - Edward, Bella
Can I Borrow Your Umbrella? by AutumnRhythm reviews
It started with a grudge, and turned into something much, much more. They say you walk a fine line between love and hate. E X B
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 79,863 - Reviews: 1549 - Favs: 1,299 - Follows: 1,482 - Updated: 7/15/2008 - Published: 1/11/2008
The Heist by BookMe reviews
Em/J/Ed...bank robbers?*Nods head* The unsuspecting victims-Bella/Angela/A little 4year old girl. See Edward's...'presuasive' side,Emmett's pleasure at meeting a joke loving kid&Jasper's feelings at being a robber. Better than it sounds if i say so myself
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Crime/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,981 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 212 - Follows: 42 - Published: 6/2/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Family Therapy Cullen Style by vjgm reviews
Carlisle has had it with the children's constant bickering so he sends the Cullen's to family therapy. Suicidal Edward,Bella's fear of committment, Alice addicted to shopping, Rosalie's hostility, Emmett and Japer's gambling..who will survive? FUNNY
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 69,221 - Reviews: 8376 - Favs: 7,512 - Follows: 1,725 - Updated: 5/15/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Complete
Of Peanut Butter & Jelly by BBananular reviews
Claire's got herself a boyfriend and Quil is determined to prove that he's all wrong for her, but six-year-old Claire isn't going to make it easy.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,477 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Claire, Quil Jr. - Complete
That Was My Siblings by ronOReds reviews
Edward's family decides he needs a push in the right direction when it comes to getting physical with Bella. What methods do they resort to in order to get their message across!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,373 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 530 - Follows: 101 - Published: 2/5/2008 - Complete
Love in Affliction by Saiyachick reviews
-:-1895 England-:-Edward Cullen has always been a ladies man, but after seeing his late father's will, he must choose a bride before his eighteenth birthday otherwise his betrothal to the heinous Duchess of West Essex will be activated.-:-AU-:-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 44,810 - Reviews: 2305 - Favs: 3,354 - Follows: 944 - Updated: 2/1/2008 - Published: 9/3/2007 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Lion and the Lamb by Alphie reviews
A retelling of Twilight from Edward's point of view. Now on permanent hiatus. Please read author's note.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 26 - Words: 112,769 - Reviews: 3222 - Favs: 2,973 - Follows: 1,762 - Updated: 1/12/2008 - Published: 2/14/2006
Hidden Truth by x3Kiome reviews
Bella is 16 years old, she is a normal girl but she seems to ignore everyone else as she grew older. Edward Masen is the most popular boy and football player in school. What if Edward Masen gets a bet, and it includes Bella? Warning: LEMON! : Complete!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 54,467 - Reviews: 2116 - Favs: 1,399 - Follows: 548 - Updated: 1/11/2008 - Published: 10/18/2007 - Complete
Welcome to Forks by Rhiann reviews
Our lives are entirely normal. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 458 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 27 - Published: 11/21/2006
Jacob Black Buys a New Pair of Socks by Rhiann reviews
Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,129 - Reviews: 491 - Favs: 643 - Follows: 63 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Complete