Author has written 6 stories for Lord of the Rings, Being Human, and Supernatural.
I'm a BAMF... Not really, but I like to pretend.
However, something those of you who bother to pay attention to my insanity will learn quickly is that I tend to ramble. A lot.
So many of you are probably wondering why I chose the name "The Dramatic Sneeze"... Actually probably very few of you are... But to put it simply... I am a dramatic sneezer.
We've all heard those sneaky bastards before. Y'know... the sneezes that sound like the result of someones brain imploding? Or exploding, whatever. I didn't pay a lot of attention in Physics class.
However, what time I didn't spend learning Newton's Laws, I spent internally reviewing the variation of sneezes. That, doodling, and mentally undressing the hot guy who sat in front of me.
You have the banshee sneeze: "AH-FREHH" (A.K.A: The Nasty Wet Sneeze). The Unholy Sneeze: "AH...CHYEW" and the "CHYEW" sounds like a squeal made by those of the underworld. And finally... we have the no-other-way-too-put-it... Opera Sneeze: "AH-CHYEOOOOO" And than the OOO sounds like they are trying out for an epic-fail American Idol.
It's a complicated concept to grasp.
Find me on Tumblr under the same username! (Minus the spacing) - http://thedramaticsneeze.tumblr.com/
You spin me right round, baby, right round... (If you are at work right now, just spin around and around in your desk chair whilst singing this. It will bring joy to your soul.) (Wait, why are you on fanfiction while you are working? Get back to work, you slacker.)
Now I am just wasting profile space. Ah, screw it, it's what it's meant for, right? Yeah, I totally just walked into Mordor.
How are you doing today? Are you doing great? Are you doing lovely? Are you fo-shizz? I don't know why I put two "Z"'s there. Is it spelled with two Z's or just one? Well, now it is two... Why? Because I'm too cool for one Z. I'm not sure if "shizz" is even a word that deserves spell check... What do you think?
I was watching this thing the other day and it said that if you are ever stranded in the wild it is okay to drink your own pee a certain amount of times before it goes bad... Well wouldnt it be pretty bad the first time? Well fuck, I'm never going near the woods again.
The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad. Why don't I know any Muhammad's? If Muhammad is so popular I should know a Muhammad. I know a guy named Rajeep... And I knew a guy named Apple... seriously. Apple.
I wonder if kiwi's have emotions. (The fruit, not the bird. Though the birds are pretty damn cool.) I mean plants are technically alive so why not? Well... wait, is the kiwi part of the actual plant after it is picked? (I have no idea what the hell a kiwi grows on... Is there a kiwi tree? If so I want one. Hit me up, son.)
This may be one of the nerdiest things I have ever said but I think It would be really fucking cool to be a dragon... Someone ticks me off and I'm all like "Eat fire, bitch."
Ever try not thinking? It's pretty impossible... because than when you try to not think all you can think whilst trying to not think about is not thinking and you are really thinking about not thinking about thinking and if you try to not think you will see that not thinking is not something you can do because not thinking is really just thinking about not thinking which is still thinking. Why the hell do I think about these things to begin with? Ah, so many answers, not enough questions. Whoop, strike that. Reverse it.
Beam me up, Scottie... For I must take a dump...
Lets get down to Business.
Perforations: Angst, horror, adventure, drama, tragedy, friendship, family, etc.
If you are interested: PM me with your ideas and I will get back to you within 48 hours if possible. (Don't I sound official?)
What I love to read and write: Basically anything dark I'm happy with.
What I don't enjoy reading or writing: Hardcore smut and incest.
I DONT LIKE OC's... THEY ARE THE NASTY COCONUT FLAVOR IN THE CHOCOLATE BOX OF FANFICTION.
My current muses: Being Human, The Hobbit, anything Aidan Turner
Please exit out the door on your left and thank you for Flying Air Sneezy. (No, not the dwarf.)
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