Okay, before reading any further, you must know that I have begun collecting the best of all fanfics. So check out my favorites, please!

Lil' Pirate Lass and I are writing a fanfic called 113 Wright Way. It's very strange... And I mean very. But please try it out, anyway. For me? Okay, so that may not be the best means of persuasion, so... For Edward? (And be warned... the prologue is stranger than the rest of the story will ever be. So don't judge the story on the prologue; rather, keep up with it till we get at least a couple chapters in. It will get better.) This may be the only fanfic I will ever write/co-write, so go easy on us, okay? And check out Lil' Pirate Lass's profile, too! XD

And also, my profile is acting really shitty to me, so most of this ended up bold... I'm not really sure why...

Before I get any idiotic PMs about this… YES, I did get the idea for the whole profile layout from Facebook. There we go, now that that’s out of the way….

First off, the most random--yet, in my opinion, most interesting--thing I will probably ever realize:

If Bella had actually chosen Jacob, and they had had kids, Jacob would've imprinted on their kid... Because, you know, it was Bella's genes that caused Jacob to imprint on Renesmee--it really had nothing to do with the fact that it was Edward's kid. If Bella had had Mike's kid, he still would've imprinted on her (or him XD). But, it's much creepier when you think of it being his own kid that he imprints on XD

And that was a little thought to keep you up at night... On with the rest:

Name: Alice

Favorite Food(s): Chocolate!! And blood--whoops, did I let that slip...?

Favorite Color(s): Black, silver, vibrant reds, dark(er) browns, bright orange, yellow, and navy blue

Activities:

Choir, Reading, and Writing

Edward Cullen (haha, take a moment… XD)

Interests:

Johnny Depp and Edward Cullen!

Oh, and I suppose reading and writing, too... XD

Favorite Music:

EVANESCENCE!! Whisper, especially.

Oh, and also… Lily Allen (especially Smile and Cheryl Tweedy), Jem, Fiona Apple, Gorillaz, Mirah, Kate Bush, the B-52's, David Bowie, Tom Wait's song Alice (I wonder why...? XD), Goldfrapp, The Good The Bad And The Queen, Iron & Wine, Justin Timberlake (c'mon, who doesn't like him?!), LCD Soundsystem, Nelly Furtado (actually, I pretty much LOVE her first two albums, but after that... eh, she's so-so), Outkast, Spoon (and Forks!! XD), and Paramore's Decode (well, it's a great song, and it's about Twilight!!).

Um… and some others, too, I guess… I'm not really too picky about the music, I just don't like country...

Favorite TV Shows:

Simpsons!!

Also: Heroes (!!), SNL, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, The Office, Futurama, Teen Titans, and the Weekenders (I loooove it so much!)

Favorite Movies:

Um... Lord of the Rings? And anything Hayao Miyazaki, too. And maybe the Twilight Movie when it comes out.

Favorite Books:

THE TWILIGHT SERIES!! I would DIE without it!! (call me melodramatic, but those who know me know it’s true. I would also risk death to bang Edward Cullen, but then again, who wouldn’t?)

And Harry Potter, I guess

And A Series of Unfortunate Events

And The Dark is Rising Sequence

And the His Dark Materials Trilogy

And The Inheritance Trilogy

And Howl's Moving Castle (but not Castle in the Air, so much...)

And The Confessions of Georgia Nicholson (awesome, for those of you who haven’t read it)

And Thirteen Reasons Why

THE HOST!! Very great. Stephenie Meyer shall never let me down :)

But I still love the Twilight Series most!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!

Favorite Quotes:

"And you're worried, not because you are headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?" ~Edward Cullen, Twilight

"I think she's having hysterics... maybe we should slap her." ~Alice Cullen, Twilight

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?' So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!' So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk?' and I say 'No that's trendy!'"
~One of my awesome buddies!

"My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff."
~Catherine Earnshaw, Wuthering Heights

"I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!"
~Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights

"I'm with the vampires, of course."
~Bella Swan, Twilight

"Edward loved me. The bond forged between us was not one that could be broken by absence, distance, or time. And no matter how much more special or beautiful or brilliant or perfect than me he might be, he was as irreversibly altered as I was. As I would always belong to him, so he would always be mine."
~Bella Swan, New Moon

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb."
"What a stupid lamb."
"What a sick, masochistic lion."
~Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, Twilight

"You are my life now."
~Edward Cullen, Twilight

"Come, gentle night--come, loving black brow'd night,
Give me my Romeo; and when he shall die,
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of Heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night,
And pay no worship to the garish sun."
~Juliet, Romeo and Juliet, Act III, scene ii

"Fall down again, Bella?"

"No, Emmett. I punched a werewolf in the face."

~Emmett Cullen and Bella Swan, Eclipse

"Take care of my heart--I've left it with you."
~Edward Cullen, Eclipse

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."
~Edward Cullen, Twilight

"When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything... I was like my heart was gone--like it was hollow. Like I'd left everything that was inside me here with you."
~Edward Cullen, New Moon

"Time passes. Even when it seems impossible. Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for me."
~Bella Swan, New Moon

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
~Amy Lee

"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?' So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!' So he kicks over a garbage can and says 'That's Punk?' and I say 'No that's trendy!"

~One of my awesome buddies!

"I shall kill you all! With HUGS!!"

~Claire mimicking Gabriella, who was mimicking our French teacher. And now I'm mimicking her...

"OOH! LOOK, A NERD!!"

~Me, after finding a nerd in the pocket of my jacket...

"Well, he’s kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son.'"

~Lionel Hutz (Simpsons)

"Bart, with 10,000 we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!"

~Homer Simpson (Simpsons)

"See, the thing about my family, is there's five of us. There's Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, and the one who never talks. And then there's that fat guy… How I loath him!"

~Homer Simpson (Simpsons)

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

~Homer Simpson (Simpsons)

"Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please, eliminate three. P.S. I am not a crackpot."

~Grandpa Simpson (Simpsons)

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

~Ralph Wiggum (Simpsons)

"I’ve had it with this school, Skinner. Low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children…"

~Superintendent Chalmers (Simpsons)

“No wonder my boyfriend got mad at me for kissing my other boyfriend. And then my other boyfriend asked who the other guy was and why he cared I was kissing him.”

~Sara, in response to an email that implied that we both had multiple boyfriends… which I do, if you count Johnny Depp and Edward Cullen.

"If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

~Edward Cullen

"You're doing it again"

"What?"

"Dazzling me."

~Edward and Bella

“The girl with the junk in the trunk will bunk with the best hunk.”

~Amy Lee (the lead singer of Evanescence, for those of you who have no idea who that is)

About Me:

I LOVE Twilight!!

Hmm… guess you should also know that I pretty much NEVER write Fanfic. I read it constantly, but never write. I’m making a huge collection of Twilight Fanfic, though, so if you make it to my bio (although, I don’t know how you would, considering I don’t write anything for you to find me by…) check out my favorite Fanfics. And I also can come up with some pretty freakin’ awesome Fanfic ideas (or so I think) if you want any XD Oh, and I can do Beta-ing, if you ask.

My age, you ask? Ha, what do you take me for? Just know that I’m old enough to know some things that no 12-year-old will EVER know (with the exception of Gabriella, who raised me in my twisted ways. Ah, good times, good times…). Of course, we're much older now, and therefore more experienced in the ways of the world (or sex, whatever you want to call it XD).

Hmm…. Other crap about me… Oh, right… My name associated with my obsession with Twilight… Well, yes, I am Alice. No joke. And I have black hair (though, I admit that it’s not necessarily naturally black… but same dif). And I call my friend (Gabriella) Bella (she SERIOUSLY is as klutzy, if not more so, than Bella Swan. After all, who breaks their wrist playing SLAPS?! Plus, we've come up with 63 was that the Gabster is like Bella. And we're still finding more).

EDWARD IS MINE!! Just thought I ought to clear that up now… heheh XD

Blue-gray-somewhatgreen eyes, contacts (thank goodness), and short black hair. And pale-ish skin. My friends all say they can see me as a vampire. Not sure what to think of this. I also look a little Asian (or so I've been told) despite the fact that I'm not Asian in the least.

If you were wondering why I don’t write Fanfic, yet have ideas for Fanfics, it’s because I’m writing my own book. I’ve written an entire outline for it (23 chappies and the prologue and epilogue), and all the chapters except for about five. So… yeah, no Fanfic for now, because I can’t multi-task, writingwise.

Also, I have virtually no conscience when it comes to all things perverted. Which is saying something, considering my virginity is still intact (which is more than you probably ever wanted to know about me... XD).

Uh… can’t think of anything else… so…

If you happened to get to the end of this, good for you!! I’m surprised you actually got to my bio, let along read to the end!!

Other stuff:

Okay, if you are looking for the BEST Twilight Fanfic EVER, look no further. Just read Morning Star by Consultant by Day!! MARVELOUS!! Oh, what's that? Morning Star is tied with another fanfic for first? -gasp!- I Hate Myself For Loving You by Halojones is totally tied with Morning Star. The two BEST TWILIGHT FANFICS EVER.

And everything by Romanticidal Edwardian is freakin’ GREAT!! Along with everything by xxsparklesnick. Seriously, they are, like, the BEST, BEST, BEST fanfic writers EVER. Pretty much all their stories tie with the two I already listed.

And for other good Fanfics, definitely check out Krakengirl and Lil’ Pirate Lass :)

Also, I would like to add some things that I see constantly in all-human fanfics, but are technically completely wrong:

Technically, Edward’s last name should always be Masen; Alice’s name should always be Mary (though you could say that she has everyone call her Alice, instead), with her last name being Brandon; Emmett should be Emmett McCarty; Rosalie should be Rosalie Hale (though that’s not as common of a mistake); Esme is Esme Platt, or Esme Evenson; and Jasper’s last name should Whitlock. The exceptions for these rules are a) they are one of Carlisle’s kids, in which case they keep Cullen as a last name or b) you are changing they’re relationship to someone else (i.e: the kid, sibling, or spouse of one of the others).

Also, people who mix up the personalities of the would-be vampires that are human in their stories. For example, Edward was always concerned about what people thought about him in his human life, so that should be carried over. Rosalie was tenacious, so that must be brought out. Alice had premonitions, so she obviously should have at least some idea/feeling of what will happen. Emmett was strong… easy enough to see where I’m going there. Jasper was very charismatic and influential, so that needs to be carried over into the story. Carlisle and Esme are dead obvious, so don’t even ask me how they would act as a human—basically exactly the same as they do in the book.

Alice is obsessed with shopping… not right at all. Even as a vampire she’s not. She is a party-planning freak, but she’s not a shop-a-holic. She only acts like that to Bella because Bella’s human and Alice is not. Therefore, in an all-human story, Alice has no reason to be a shop-a-holic. And Emmett is not a complete perv/sex-addict. I’m not even sure where people got that idea…

Oh, and Bella SHOULD BE DEAD. Yes, you read that right. Why wasn't she crushed by Tyler's van? Because Edward's a VAMPIRE. So she'd be dead if he wasn't.

And though I say these things, I still love reading All Human fanfics. Even the ones with these mistakes. (Yeah, go ahead and call me hypocritical XD) Because All Human fanfics kick ass.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you hate Jacob Black for tricking Bella into kissing him copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate Jacob Black period, paste this onto your profile.

If you think Jacob Black should go crawl in a hole and die, paste this onto your profile.

If you believe that vampires truly exist, ever since you read Twilight, paste this onto your profile.