maxPod
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Joined 02-20-08, id: 1505371, Profile Updated: 06-29-12
Author has written 4 stories for Maximum Ride.

I like books that show the strength of women. And though Max isn't a full human, she's pretty close. Max had beaten the living daylights out of some tough guys (half-men, half-canine, but still), yet she's shown lots of love and care to those around her. She holds strong for her family, and almost never fails them. Am I saying that hardcore women are only mutant freaks? No. Sheesh, if that was true, then my life is full of these hybrids. (I am lucky enough to have the company of several tough-as-nails women, and I have personally proven that they are all human.)

Then of course, there's the strong bond between the Flock members. I'm very shocked and impressed by what these guys are ready to sacrifice for each other. Don't get me wrong. I'll be willing to die for my family any day, but do I have the courage to rescue them from evil mad scientists? Will I ever be stuck in a situation as absurd as that? No, but you get my point, don't you? I'll give anything as long as it's the easy way out, but I doubt that I've got enough guts to pull through secret missions and whatnot. So if you've got a fic that splits up the Flock, I'm reading it in hopes of seeing a reunion. I probably love your fic, but I also love the family relationship that Avian-Americans have.

My Favorite Pairs for MR:

Fax (It involves two very strong, very special people who have known each other for life. It's not the average high school sweetheart that you use for show and dump the next day.)

That's all. Nothing else has appealed to me yet. Perhaps someone will offer a fic that can introduce me to the so-called wonderful world of Figgy, Fudge, Fassa, Sax, etc. etc.


The following that you are going to read have nothing to do with my opinions, so, thus, everything starting from now is on both of my accounts. That also means you don't have to read any longer.

Funny but True Words of Wisdom (I love reading quotes on other profiles, so I'll post them too and add more when I find more. How fun.)

"It's funny until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious!" Billie Joe Armstrong

"Don't yawn in the shower, you might drown." Bill Cosby

"Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it comes and sits softly on your shoulder." Nathaniel Hawthorne

"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own butt, okay?" Dennis Leary

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adele Rodgers St. Johns

"Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with." Jane Seabrook

"When you have kids of your own, you forgive your parents." Jane Seabrook

"Nothing is more satisfying than watching your children have teenagers of their own." Jane Seabrook

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; it's already tomorrow in Australia." Charles Schulz

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." Bill Waterston

"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them more." Oscar Wilde

"Hi. I'm probably home; I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." Anonymous

"Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it." Anonymous

"Don’t go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." Anonymous

"Friends will always be like 'Well you deserve better,' but best friends will be prank-calling him saying, ‘You will die in seven days…'" Anonymous

"Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!" Anonymous

"Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot." Anonymous

"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present." Anonymous

"Let's flip a coin: heads we'll be together, tails we flip again." Anonymous

"Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over." Anonymous

"Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile." Anonymous

"You have to have darkness for a dawn to come." Anonymous

"Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars." Anonymous

"To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world." Anonymous

"Tell the truth and run." Anonymous

"All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative." Anonymous

"When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear." Anonymous

"Education is important; school however, is another matter." Anonymous

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" Anonymous

"Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic..." Anonymous

"Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?" Anonymous

"Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there? I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt'?" Anonymous

"Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?" Anonymous

"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?" Anonymous

"If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?" Anonymous

"Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?" Anonymous

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Anonymous

"Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?” Anonymous

"Join the Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.” Anonymous

"If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side." Anonymous

"Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" Anonymous

"Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." Anonymous

"If you know me, chances are you hate me." Anonymous

"Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." Anonymous

"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." Anonymous

"Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." Anonymous

"Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." Anonymous

"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." Anonymous

"Anyone can be called a father, but only some can be a dad." Anonymous

"Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy...because it takes one smile to cover up a million tears." Anonymous

"If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?" Anonymous

"Friends are like butt cheeks, shit may come between them, but they always stick together." Anonymous

"I like the idea of karma; you can go around and do bad things to people all day assuming they deserve it." Anonymous

"Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life." Anonymous

"Sex is evil, evil is sin, sin is forgiven, so stick it right in!" Anonymous

"Virginity is like a balloon, one small prick and it's gone forever." Anonymous

"Sex is temptation caused by sensation, when a guy puts his location into a girl's destination, to increase population for the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" Anonymous

"They say one day your whole life will flash before your eyes, make it worth watching." Anonymous

"I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes." Anonymous

"I’m not clumsy…the floor just hates me." Anonymous

"Anyone can reach their stars…and if you can’t reach, catch one that falls." Anonymous

"Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door..." Anonymous

"You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor." Anonymous

"Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way." Anonymous

"It's not how you pick your nose; it's where you put the booger." Anonymous

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law." Anonymous

"An apple always keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." Anonymous

"Ever stopped to think and forgot to start again?" Anonymous

"My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil." Anonymous

"Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought." Anonymous

"Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer." Anonymous

"Okay, so what's the speed of dark?" Anonymous

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good..." Anonymous

"I'm going to live life, or die trying." Anonymous

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps." Anonymous

"Suicide is Man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me, I quit.'" Anonymous

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day since she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is." Anonymous

"A day without sunshine is...night." Anonymous

"A good friend will come and bail you out of jail. A great friend will be sitting next to you saying, 'Damn that was fun!'" Anonymous

"How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on." Anonymous

"When life hands you a lemon, squirt life in the eye and run like hell." Anonymous

"There are three kinds of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't." Anonymous

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Anonymous

"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not even trying." Anonymous

"Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife" Anonymous

"Never knock on Death's door. Ring the doorbell and run away. He hates that." Anonymous

"DO NOT HIT KIDS! No, seriously. They have guns now." Anonymous

"Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think I'm wrong?" Anonymous

"Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?" Anonymous

"People are like slinkies. Basically useless and yet it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs." Anonymous

"Ho-lla-back girl: n. I have no idea what it means, but apparently, Gwen Stefani isn't one and it has something to do with bananas." Anonymous

"Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy." Anonymous

"You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. So taste my rainbow, bitch." Anonymous

"I can imagine a world where there is only peace; there is no war, famine, or sickness. I can also imagine us bombing that world because they wouldn't expect a thing." Anonymous

"If there's no exit, make one!" indirectly from Hiromu Arakawa, the genius creator of Fullmetal Alchemist who said these words through her character Edward Elric (manga)

"I'm not an optimist. I'm just stubborn, that's all." read the above

"If we see smoke, we'll assume you're on fire and take appropriate action." Non-smoking zone sign.

"When you die, it doesn't matter the years in the life, but the life in the years." shopping store sign

"Don't mind the horns; they're just there to support my halo." Xx.Hikari The Light.xX

"Unleash your imagination." FanFiction.Net

The Best Quote in Existence!

"NEVER READ A STORY AND NOT REVIEW. EVEN IF IT'S ONE WORD, AUTHORS LOVE TO HEAR FROM THEIR READERS!" silent:tears:fall

My Quote! No Stealing! If You Do, Give Me Credit! (...I just contradicted myself, didn't I? Well...just give me credit!)

“What is the one disadvantage of having an incredible imagination? It’s reading lemons. Your mind’s eye burn for days afterwards if you’re a newbie.” edPod / maxPod

Answers to Those Random Questions

Question - Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze those dangly things there and drink what comes out"?

Answer - A desperate pervert who couldn't get some. That...or umm, a farmer? (dur)

Question - Why do we wash behind our ears? Who really looks there?

Answer - God. God looks behind your ears, and if they're dirty, you're going straight to hell.

Question - In that song, She'll be Coming Around the Mountain, who is "she"?

Answer - YOUR MOMMA!

(These Q & A’s were found on Makmay04's profile.)

Favorite Joke

There was once a perfect woman and a perfect man. They got married and became the perfect couple. On one Christmas, they were driving down the street when Santa Clause stopped them, asking for a ride because his sled broke down. They immediately invited him in and drove on. Then they rounded a corner and crashed. One of them was killed; the other two weren't even injured. Who got killed?

The perfect woman, because there is no such thing as a Santa Clause or a perfect man. (But since there's no such thing as a Santa Clause or a perfect man, the perfect woman was driving the car. That's why it crashed.)

A Funny Fact about Racism

A black man was talking to a white man and said, "I'm black. When I was born, I was black. When I grew up, I was black. When I'm sick, I'm black. When I go in the sun, I'm black. When I'm cold, I'm black. When I die, I'll still be black. But you: When you were born, you were pink. When you grew up, you were white. When you're sick, you're green. When you go in the sun, you're red. When you're cold, you're blue. When you die, you'll be purple. And you have the nerve to call me colored."

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Black Oblivion by El Reino reviews
The flock turned against Maximum Ride for good. Six years later, she is deadly mean, and nothing you've ever seen before. Can she ever return to who she was? T for violence. Complete!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 42,263 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 8/25/2012 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Complete
Trust is Hard to Regain by Flyer without Wings reviews
The Flock kicked Max out a year ago,saying that she was a bad leader and she has been surviving in a kind of emotional limbo ever since. Now they want her back, but can she forgive them? Can she trust them? Eventual pairings.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,981 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 2/4/2008
A TwoSided Triangle by Bubbles and Bub'les reviews
A FAX story written from mostly Lissa's perspective. Don't we all hate her? Let's torture her as much as possible! This is a round robin ::a circtangular bird:: written by Bubbles and Bub'les Co. Second chapter up and written by Bubbles. READ AND REVIEW!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,382 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/24/2008 - Published: 2/4/2008
Lifeline by turquoise.seas reviews
-FAX- Final chapter! He hastily turned my face toward his, his dark eyes regarding my half-open ones anxiously. “Max…” I heard no more, because my eyelids fluttered shut, and I fell to the sand. Faxness is finally here!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,525 - Reviews: 149 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 2/20/2008 - Published: 2/15/2008
Payback by Dizzy The Magical Fpoon reviews
My version of Fang and Ari's fight over the trees in School's Out Forever. Rated T for mild violence and swearing. Fang's POV. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 392 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Complete
Promise by turquoise.seas reviews
It could have killed Max. MY Max. Fang POV, redo of the beach scene with the seashell. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,960 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 6 - Published: 12/24/2007 - Complete
Impressions by turquoise.seas reviews
Sometimes, first impressions can be everything. Oneshot, Fang reflects on how he and Max met at the School.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,345 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/12/2007 - Complete
It All Started With Troy by EdwardAddict reviews
When Nudge forces the Flock to watch High School Musical 2, sparks fly during a heated debate about the main character, Troy. Just how will it end? Pointless fluff. Fax Oneshot
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 947 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 13 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
In The Eye of The Beholder by IllaSc reviews
Max's POV, at Anne's house. What the HECK is Fang doing in my CLOSET? Fax. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 595 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/17/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Test reviews
Max was captured by the School; the flock rescues her, but not before Jeb managed to put his next test into action. Now the flock had an amnesic human Max who hasn't the slightest idea who the heck they were. Can her true self triumph over this dilemma?
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,625 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 5/2/2008 - Published: 3/5/2008
Jealous? reviews
Fang found Angel huddled up to Max in the morning. Nightmare issues again. FAX Title kinda explains it all. Not Mangel.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 452 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/7/2008 - Complete
The Girl of His Dreams reviews
Max is teaching a new flying technique to some of the flock. Fang, on the other hand, stood back and watched. He begins to acknowledge Max. My first major trial of Fax. I think I managed quite well.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 717 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
Desperation and Love reviews
At the School, Max is being gased to death right in front of the flock. Due to the desperate yells of the bird-kids, the whitecoat was guilted into freeing Max. So now someone had to perform CPR. Squint hard and you'll see Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,487 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 8 - Published: 3/1/2008 - Complete
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