OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
R.I.P Common Sense. You shall be missed by the people who are different from the sheep and the idiots that call themselves human.
THEY HURT HER:
About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone that she fell...and they believed them.
THEY HURT HER.
FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post but didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.
Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.
If you don't repost saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.
On December 24th, 2006 at 8:00 in the morning, a 14-year-old boy by the name of Scott Jackson was found dead. Doctors couldn't come up with the cause of his death. His mother checked his e-mails to see if she could figure out what happened. Turns out he was still signed into his Yahoo e-mail account. She found he had gone to sleep after he read and didn't send a chain letter about a little girl who kills you in your sleep with no natural cause of death. This is the e-mail she read: My name is Ofelia Heras. I'm 16 years old. I'm a murderer. I have no face. When you look at me you'll die immediately. You have 900 seconds to repost this onto your profile or I will visit you tonight.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.
99.9999% of girls would die if Bella Swan appeared at their doorstep. Post this if you're part of the 0.0001% who's currently washing her blood off your fist.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
If you fall for it, please put it on your profile as well! It's very funny, seening as how I fell for it too
95% of teens would cry if they saw EDWARD CULLEN at the top of a skyscraper about to jump. Put this in your profile if you are part of the 5% that would sit there with popcorn and a camera, yelling "DO A FLIP!!!"
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the Word...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honoured to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
Read this please;
I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''My heart nearly stopped.The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?'''OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'''I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'''My mommy loves white roses.'A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.
And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.