The Jaide Ninja Spork
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Poll: What did you think of Breaking Dawn? Don't be scared to tell the truth, people! Vote Now!
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Joined 02-27-08, id: 1510888, Profile Updated: 11-27-09
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

For all those who might read this, I'm sorry for not updating the stories. I never really enjoyed Twilight all that much - the book, that is. The only real reason I enjoyed it was because of all the wonderful people on this site who write fanfics. They write interesting stories which are really enjoyable. But the books are, quite frankly, not very well-written. In addition to that, they should not be portrayed as a "classic romance" when it is delving into the territory of what can only be called an abusive relationship. There are many articles written by people who have experienced abusive, and as I have not, I leave it to them to explain just why Edward and Bella have an unhealthy relationship. I urge you to research this before shooting me down or sighing over just how perfect and romantic Twilight it. It disturbs me to see people do this. Just please, enjoy the book if you want to, but don't get upset at me if I don't share the same adoration you do. I just can't look at the books and see it that way anymore.

I will post a message on our stories soon. Spork has agreed that we will be letting Queen of Night go for the moment. We may decide to put it back up in time, but not right now. Manly Men will go permanently unless somebody wishes to take it. Southern Star we will be keeping, but updates might take a while.

-Jaide

I'm pretty much in agreement with Jaide, but she's said it rather more eloquently than I might have. For all those who are writing themselves, please continue. We've both loved your stories for so long. I hope that any one who does read these messages will respect our rights to have our own opinions and not be hassled over it. Free speech, people, remember that? I don't condemn your love of the series, so please do not condemn my feelings. I respect your right to think what you want, as it would be hypocritical and wrong of me to do otherwise. For everyone who has read and reviewed: I'm sorry. I've appreciated all your love and support. Indeed, it was the only thing that kept me going. Good luck and best wishes to you all.

-Spork


Jaide: Rah. Well, I'm a friend of the lovely Spork, and we will be sharing this profile.

Spork: Go on, tell them how awesome you are. You know that you want to.

Jaide: I'm a friend of yours, isn't that evidence enough?

Spork: Aww.

Jaide: So, I'm 15, a vegetarian, an intellectual-type.

Spork: More like fucking genius, but whatever.

Jaide: Mind your mouth!

Spork: Whoops.

Jaide: So, getting back to me, I love Death Note - seriously, watch it. I can't understand what has been dubbed "txt spk" and ardently loathe that LOL, ROFL, and LMAO crap. Honestly, how many times have you laughed your arse off?

Spork: Don't look at me!

Jaide: Why would I want to?

Spork: Ooh, snarky.

Jaide: :P

Spork: Uh, yeah. Because this conversation is creeping me out, that's it for now, guys!

Jaide: Yep! Oh, and we're changing the name to The Jaide Ninja Spork. Crappy little pun in there.

Spork: Sure thing. Anyway, I'm off!

Jaide: Bye!

Queen of Night:

Chapter 14 - Bella's dagger:

(Much thanks to RavenKyraAzlynMasen for pointing out that I hadn't replaced this hyperlink when this page was redone!)

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Hell is Other People by amitai reviews
After a series of attacks, Alex's entire class is sent to be trained at the SAS training camp, to give them a degree of self sufficiency to help them defend themselves. Unfortunately for Alex, he has to go with them... and not get noticed as different.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 169,938 - Reviews: 3274 - Favs: 2,716 - Follows: 3,118 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Alex R./Cub
I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3294 - Favs: 2,594 - Follows: 750 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
Conditioning by Llama Mama23 reviews
It's now required for Forks High School students to take a semester of CONDITIONING gym! When both Edward and Emmett show up in Bella's class, what will happen? Series of gym-related drabbles. Edited August, 2012.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,331 - Reviews: 301 - Favs: 234 - Follows: 294 - Updated: 8/4/2013 - Published: 4/11/2008
Give Me A Little Trust by An End Has A Start reviews
Edward wants one thing: a baby. The problem: he’s infertile. Will he ever get to be the father he’s dreamed of being? All Human. ExB.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 65,297 - Reviews: 1144 - Favs: 1,153 - Follows: 1,480 - Updated: 3/26/2012 - Published: 6/24/2008 - Edward, Bella
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13050 - Favs: 6,181 - Follows: 2,784 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Red by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
Bella hated Edward, and Edward hated Bella. Or so she thought. Forced to work with him for the money, there's no escaping his anger, his resentment, and... his love. AH/AU EDITING IN PROGRESS: CHAPTER 1-4 DONE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,721 - Reviews: 3725 - Favs: 1,906 - Follows: 1,070 - Updated: 2/22/2011 - Published: 1/4/2009 - Bella, Edward
Blinding Lights by Sovoyita reviews
Bella Swan was in an accident that rendered her blind. When she moves to Forks with her father and brother, she gains friends and meets Edward, the school boy charm. Will she let down her walls and will Edward change his charmer ways? And how? BXE; AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 83,063 - Reviews: 714 - Favs: 422 - Follows: 455 - Updated: 7/5/2010 - Published: 6/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Tokens of Affection by Shinku reviews
One year later, Sarah takes a chance. A purple hyacinth - 'Please, forgive me.'
Labyrinth - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 15 - Words: 98,546 - Reviews: 655 - Favs: 1,097 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 7/2/2010 - Published: 1/16/2010 - Sarah, Jareth - Complete
Betrayals by BiteMe1918 reviews
AU All Human. A drunk Edward accidentally cheats on Bella. Now he has to deal with the consequences - all of them. Please Read and Review! Rated T for safety.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,315 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 6/23/2010 - Published: 7/6/2008
Hear No Evil by BlueSea14 reviews
After over a hundred years alone, a deaf vampire Bella finds the Cullen family. With no memory of her human past, and no way to communicate with the world, how can they help her? Canon.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 97,077 - Reviews: 1591 - Favs: 2,356 - Follows: 855 - Updated: 4/9/2010 - Published: 6/15/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Changing Prejudices by IHateCleanBreaks reviews
Bella is the night manager at a luxurious, but small hotel. She is not easily impressed by celebrities. Edward is a hotshot movie star who has forgotten that the world does not revolve around him. He books a room in her hotel. AH. COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 35 - Words: 109,600 - Reviews: 1494 - Favs: 1,834 - Follows: 814 - Updated: 2/28/2010 - Published: 9/8/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Isabella Marie Swan Volturi by Sovoyita reviews
My name is Isabella Marie Swan Volturi and I have been held captive against my will for the past seven years of my short, insignificant life. This so-called “home” I live in has been nothing short of a prison cell for me ever since I got here.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 14 - Words: 50,817 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 2/26/2010 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Edward
Human Trafficking by Sovoyita reviews
Taken by men who are going to rent me out to strangers that will take advantage of me…Brilliant. This wasn’t bad luck. It was my sentence to hell. Rated M for adult themes including rape and slavery.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 41,562 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 231 - Follows: 325 - Updated: 1/29/2010 - Published: 1/1/2009 - Bella, Edward
Death Note: A Sonata of Death by Necrotic-Sonata reviews
L meets a talented young woman of the arts. Mainly, music. Through each other, they will inspire one another to do great things, pulling victory from the ashes of defeat. But this win will be bittersweet. -Major Spoilers-
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,057 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 1/6/2010 - Published: 1/23/2008 - L
The Wings of Wrath by AvengingMyInnocence reviews
The World’s Longest FanFic EVER. Has literally been called an ‘Epic’. SUMMARIES inside…
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 111 - Words: 260,120 - Reviews: 1748 - Favs: 584 - Follows: 256 - Updated: 12/3/2009 - Published: 3/28/2008
A Cullen Moment by Wolf Babies reviews
This is a collection of completely random moments in time during the everlasting lives of the Cullen family.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 102 - Words: 84,587 - Reviews: 1803 - Favs: 290 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 10/31/2009 - Published: 6/14/2008 - Third Wife, Joshua U. - Complete
Fate's Neverending Love by IPreferVerticallyChallenged reviews
Bella having been killed by Victoria, Edward is desperatley trying to find her incarnation. Sequel to Fate's Little Quirks. Please read.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 7,399 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 88 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 10/25/2009 - Published: 6/8/2008 - Complete
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2130 - Favs: 3,541 - Follows: 1,645 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Reappearances by BiteMe1918 reviews
Sequel to Changes. Please read that one first. This is Emma's story, how she deals with her brother's death. But who is this new beautiful girl who seems to hate her already? Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,106 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 8/18/2009 - Published: 6/23/2008
Unread Messages by xxsparklesnick reviews
Sequel to You Got Love! If Isabella Swan thought last year was crazy, she's about to be surprised. With Alice's baby on the way, a wayward best friend, visiting cousins and a boyfriend who seems determined to get a ring on her finger, what's a girl to do?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 38,095 - Reviews: 1798 - Favs: 892 - Follows: 1,285 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 8/28/2008
Let the Games Begin by lildevil76 reviews
Sequel to 'Truth or dare with the pack' read that first or you might not get some of the parts :P And for the ppl that did, this is about Bella, the Cullen's and the Pack playing various games ex. spin the bottle and twister R&R PLZ :D
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 32,791 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 7/21/2007
Don't Shoot My Dog by An End Has A Start reviews
City man Edward Masen moves to a rural town for a break. On arrival he’s met with open arms from most female townsfolk, guns and fists from the men, and a growling dog from his highly attractive neighbour, who hates his guts on day one. ExB All Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 57,495 - Reviews: 1156 - Favs: 896 - Follows: 691 - Updated: 7/26/2009 - Published: 5/29/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Make You Feel My Love by Twicebitten reviews
The cruise brought each couple something they never expected. Love. The course of true love never did run smooth, though.. Sequel to Beauty of Uncertainty. R&R! all human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,001 - Reviews: 280 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 219 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 9/6/2008
10 Ways to Annoy Twilight Characters by Patronus Charm reviews
Title pretty much explains all. Not my best fic as it has no plot but hey read it any way. First Chapter is Edward Cullen. Contest results now UP! NOW COMPLETE! Please read the Authors Note!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 27 - Words: 12,266 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 197 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 7/6/2009 - Published: 3/23/2008 - Complete
Blog of ONLY the Cullens by Shipper Friendly reviews
Carlisle starts a blog. This is the blog.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 33 - Words: 14,940 - Reviews: 716 - Favs: 161 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 6/1/2009 - Published: 10/9/2008 - Complete
Blooming Love by Xo.Simply.Jasmine.oX reviews
Emmett is Bella's big brother, but when she moves with Renee when she is 3 they are separated. She gets news that her brother died in a bear attack,but is that really what happened? What happens when all the Cullens, Swans, and Blacks meet each other? R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,479 - Reviews: 433 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 318 - Updated: 5/24/2009 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Bella, Edward
Heartbeats by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
Bella Swan is left in a coma after a fateful plane crash that killed almost every single passenger. Her heartbeats are numbered, and she wonders if she'll ever see her family again. But is there some else who can make her wake up? AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 309 - Reviews: 1189 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 295 - Updated: 4/12/2009 - Published: 9/25/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Wild Child by Prizz-sweetie reviews
Edward is a well respected and important lawyer. Bella is a hard partier. When Bella accidentally stumbles into his life, Can he bring her down from the high she's on? Or will Bella loosen Edward's tie a little? Will something more emerge? ExB AH AU OOC
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 47,691 - Reviews: 290 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 195 - Updated: 3/17/2009 - Published: 8/18/2008 - Edward, Bella
Trust is Hard to Regain by Flyer without Wings reviews
The Flock kicked Max out a year ago,saying that she was a bad leader and she has been surviving in a kind of emotional limbo ever since. Now they want her back, but can she forgive them? Can she trust them? Eventual pairings.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,981 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 3/15/2009 - Published: 2/4/2008
The Wild and Wacky Adventures of Edward in PE! by LindaRoo reviews
Hilarity ensues when Edward comes back at the end of New Moon and he and Alice get Mrs. Cope to change their schedules to put them in Bella's gym class. How can they appear human when their superhuman athletic aptitudes keep getting in the way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 74,371 - Reviews: 1979 - Favs: 2,230 - Follows: 1,680 - Updated: 3/9/2009 - Published: 2/27/2007
Bad Fanfiction by yayme2012 reviews
Funny fanfic telling what you SHOULDN'T do in Twilight fanfiction... Includes JacobXBella, EmmettXBella, and my personal fave: BananasXBella! New chapters include The Movie, Yum Lemons, and 2008. Curing Twilight fanfiction, one parody at a time.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 66 - Words: 51,675 - Reviews: 2796 - Favs: 569 - Follows: 331 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 11/14/2007 - Elizabeth, Aro
The Things We Do For Love by An End Has A Start reviews
Edward Cullen has one moment of rash thinking and buys a puppy so he can talk to his local dog walker. This sparks controversy between his friends but they soon come to realise that you’d do anything when you think you’ve found ‘The One’. ExB All Human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 38,426 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 646 - Follows: 387 - Updated: 2/25/2009 - Published: 6/20/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Secrets Revealed by snipergirlx27 reviews
Alex Rider is back at his school pretending to be normal again. But SCORPIA has other plans. They attack his school with every intention of killing him and everyone in it. For protection, Alex and his class are sent to the SAS. Can he keep his cover?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,696 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 217 - Updated: 2/9/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008
Conundrum by Phoenix Fanatic reviews
After a small accident, Max and Fang can hear each other's thoughts! Oh, my, this presents a number of challenges... and what if a certain company is interested in this development? -Fax- -Complete-
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 34 - Words: 102,806 - Reviews: 2441 - Favs: 885 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 1/11/2009 - Published: 9/16/2007 - Complete
Kaleidoscope by lalalanerd reviews
Bella is a woman in New York City with a lot of debt and a strong dislike for the "Stupid pretty boys with their stupid money and stupid jobs". Will her attitude change upon meeting the mysterious and wealthy Edward Cullen? ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 92,204 - Reviews: 1915 - Favs: 1,474 - Follows: 1,650 - Updated: 1/9/2009 - Published: 2/21/2008
Goodbye by Oxygen.and.Cucumber reviews
For seven years I watched and waited. But there was only so much that I could put my heart through, and the night I finally told him, was the night I let him go. AH/AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,368 - Reviews: 2516 - Favs: 761 - Follows: 481 - Updated: 1/8/2009 - Published: 5/5/2008 - Jacob, Leah - Complete
Innocence Will Be Enough by BlindingPinkObsession reviews
You're safe with us now, Andrew/ We'll help you grow big and strong. Ender's Game. Poem about Ender's journey through Battle School.
Orson Scott Card - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 192 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/2/2009 - Complete
Bella & Alice : The Prank War by NoOffence101 reviews
When Alice and Bella get pranked by the Cullen boys, they team up. And there's nothing scarier than a future seeing vampire pixie, and a clumsy, crafty human! This is my first FanFic but I think it's good lol! Chapter 4 here!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,504 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 11/23/2008 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Alice, Bella
BubbleGum Champion by Heartbroken1 reviews
FINAL CHAPTER IS NOW UP...Edward discovers that Bella has a talent he didn't know about. He should have never told his brothers about it. Let the teasing begin. I changed the rating to M... still only innuendoes.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,431 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 463 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 10/26/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Winter's Help by w.wayweary reviews
“I know your wishes and desires, your hopes and your dreams. I will also make one of them come true.” “You two have had so much thrown at you, and will also have more thrown at you, so you both need one thing to have when you do not have each other.” BxE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 66,507 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 10/11/2008 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Next July Fools Day by TeamEdwardCullen8208 reviews
SEQUEL TO JULY FOOLS DAY? Bella's a big bad vamp now, and she's got a few tricks up her sleeve. With a new power and newborn superstrength, anything can happen. And you can rest assured that something will.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 19 - Words: 33,449 - Reviews: 767 - Favs: 202 - Follows: 242 - Updated: 9/20/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008
Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better by xxsparklesnick reviews
All through grade school, that boy with the soft bronze hair had been haunting her. He was her most bitter rival, her worst enemy. When she finally thought he was out of her life, he comes back - will he turn her life upside down again? Edward/Bella.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 48,931 - Reviews: 1071 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 328 - Updated: 9/13/2008 - Published: 8/6/2008 - Complete
Loss by BlueSea14 reviews
“I’m no stranger to loss…” Esme is in pain after discovering that Edward is headed to Volterra. During NM. Written for Soraloveskairi159's Rare POV Challenge.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,021 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 6 - Published: 9/11/2008 - Esme, Jasper - Complete
You Got Love! by xxsparklesnick reviews
Isabella Swan has been crushing on her best friend's brother, Edward Cullen, for a while and at the same time she can't stand him. Her online friend has been there for her through it all, but what happens when his identity is revealed? All Human, ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,288 - Reviews: 1907 - Favs: 1,843 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 8/28/2008 - Published: 7/1/2008 - Complete
Switched by Wait For The Stars reviews
Fang and Max switch bodies mysteriously. Along with weird whitecoat dreams...that they share, and a whole lot of pranks, there is also something else there. While trying to get even, get into their own bodies, will they FINALLY fall in love? Review!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,953 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 8/23/2008 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Complete
Elégie Adagio by skinnylovex reviews
Bella's dream of going to the most honored music conservatory are finally fulfilled. Along the way, she meets some of the best friends she could ask for, and maybe a gorgeous piano player, too. All human AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 82,712 - Reviews: 657 - Favs: 1,061 - Follows: 317 - Updated: 8/12/2008 - Published: 5/25/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Memories and Enemies by CherryBlossom00x reviews
Its been 70 years since the Cullens left Forks, and Bella is now a powerful vampire, starting high school again. What will happen when Bella runs into best forgotten memories and is struggling with her love for Edward? Set After Edward leaves Bella in NM
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,485 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 8/8/2008 - Published: 7/9/2008 - Bella, Edward
Gym Class Failure by The Romanticidal Edwardian reviews
A moment in gym class, before New Moon. Mostly fluff. Review please! 'T' because anything lower is embarrassing to me.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,990 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 309 - Follows: 40 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Edward Cullen? Scared? by ForEverTopaz1901 reviews
Edward and Bella watch a scary movie at Charlie's house. Bella sure gets a kick out of Edward's reaction to a part in the movie. Who knew that it would start a war of pranks over at the Cullens! Enjoy! R&R!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 16,426 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 122 - Updated: 7/23/2008 - Published: 4/8/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Secret Lovers by bellard reviews
Edward and Bella lived long ago, and they are both royalty. Edward is arranged to marry Bella's sister Rosalie, but when he and Bella find that they are falling in love despite the situation, how will they survive the pressure?
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 13,088 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 98 - Updated: 7/21/2008 - Published: 3/6/2008
Emmett Versus Drive Thru by Twilight Mischief reviews
My way? But I came here for Bella!" Emmett has some fun while doing some errands for Alice. Can fast food survive Emmett?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,310 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Emmett - Complete
In Six Months I Lost My Mind But Found My Heart by An End Has A Start reviews
They’re from two different worlds but are brought together by a school exchange program. Three months at his school, three months at hers. They’re fighting each other and temptation. All Human. ExB
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 92,136 - Reviews: 2078 - Favs: 1,771 - Follows: 753 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 2/18/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
Confessions of Lauren by ForEverTopaz1901 reviews
What is going on in Lauren's head? Why does she always seem so bitter? Set in her POV.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,288 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 6 - Published: 7/3/2008 - Lauren - Complete
The Way Idiots Really Run by SkyCullen reviews
Bella Swan is the type of person who doesn't care much for anything. Edward Cullen is one of the populars aka the Black Bloods. Bella doesn't believe in “Prince Charming”, Edward Cullen is a selfish rich boy who now has the responsibility of keeping...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,836 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 159 - Follows: 263 - Updated: 6/30/2008 - Published: 6/21/2007
Pregnant Vampire Bella Joins the Army by MarcyJ reviews
The ultimate combination of horrific AU plotlines. Cowritten with the hilarious lindaroo! We are writing this a breakneck speed, so look for updates often!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,505 - Reviews: 251 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 152 - Updated: 6/21/2008 - Published: 3/1/2008
Bitemarks and Bloodstains by Countess Jackman reviews
I stared at Edward, swallowing the lump in my throat before saying, “Well, there is one place we can go.” His eyes flickered with recognition and he sighed, turning to the rest of our family, “The Volturi.” Sequel to Waste a Moment.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 39,677 - Reviews: 451 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 6/19/2008 - Published: 8/7/2007
Changes by BiteMe1918 reviews
All human. Nobody is related except for Alice and Emmett. Rosalie and Edward and Alice and Emmett all transfer. Bella is antisocial and Jasper is a vampire. All get togather and change dramatically. Now Complete! Please R&R!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 39,221 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 85 - Follows: 89 - Updated: 6/18/2008 - Published: 1/7/2008 - Complete
The Gambling Duo by Miyabata Keigai reviews
What happens when Carlisle and Esme feel that Jasper and Emmett have gambled too much? Send them to therapy, of course! So what crazy and insane things will happen when they step into the doctor's office? read to find out: first fanfic r&r please!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,291 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 6/11/2008 - Published: 5/28/2008
My Singer Can Sing by Sovoyita reviews
Alice forces Bella to sing at a karaoke club. Edward and the family comes along to watch. Watch Bella as she blows her whole family away with her singing. Just some random fluff, One shot. R&R. Criticize me, its only my second Fan Fiction.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,321 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 11 - Published: 6/8/2008 - Complete
The Way I Love You by Sovoyita reviews
Edward tells Bella why she shouldn't be self-conscious about her looks. BxE, just some fluff. My first Fan-fiction. Go easy on me. One-Shot. Enjoy O.o Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own all the Twilight characters, they are Stephenie Meyer's.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,556 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/3/2008 - Complete
The Zoo by Strawberry Emi reviews
Edward takes Bella to the zoo and has a little fun along the way, after an incounter with something Edward is not too fond of...
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,004 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 5/29/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
The Sunless Skys by wolf dem0n reviews
This is about a vampire named Lestat. He is a vampire hunter, and these are the chapters of hes endless night... It has pretty much the same story plot as twilight only in the vampires view. Please review also!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,521 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/19/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008
The Cliche by Captain Atticus reviews
The story of how a desperate fanfiction author succumbed to the power of reviews. This is required reading.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,041 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/12/2008 - Complete
Empty by stfulivlovesyou reviews
“Max, where do babies come from?” Oh, God. What fresh hell is this? What happens when Angel asks Max an awkward question? FAX, of course!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,020 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/28/2008 - Complete
Be Careful What You Wish For by melissaeverlasting reviews
Max, frustrated with life in general, wishes on a shooting star that she and her friends could just be normal for once. The next morning? Her wish comes true.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 19,809 - Reviews: 186 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 4/28/2008 - Published: 2/23/2008 - Complete
Fang, Can Sugar Kill You? by SparxFlame reviews
Max goes mad and starts eating icing sugar. Completly mad, don't read unless you are completely insane. One-shot. Randomosity Fic. Sorry to any offended boys out there.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 908 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/28/2008 - Complete
Brotherhood by LindaRoo reviews
The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting The Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Co-written with the awesome Blondie AKA Robin.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,195 - Reviews: 207 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 3/31/2008
The Color Blue by I'mWithTheWerewolfs reviews
Bella never jumps, Edward never comes back. Bella gets a job as a secret agent because every time she does something risky she hears his voice. What happens when Edward comes back and finds out what Bella’s doing? Can she forgive him? ON HIATUS...sorry
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 23,380 - Reviews: 277 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 172 - Updated: 4/6/2008 - Published: 12/8/2007
Prima Ballerina by Avvy9129 reviews
Mind reading really is annoying... mind controlling is even WORSE!
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 479 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/20/2008 - Complete
OtterRider by Captain Atticus reviews
An Eragon parody; as Eragon reminds me forcefully of Star Wars set in Middle Earth. Oneshot.
Inheritance Cycle - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 704 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/7/2008 - Complete
Brotherly Love by Blackout91 reviews
This is a simple oneshot about when the flock lived in Colorado with Jeb, and is about one of the fights Gazzy caused between Fang and Iggy with his mimicry ability. R&R, no flames please.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,050 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/2/2008 - Complete
PS Write Back by IzzyBoleyn reviews
Just random letters going back and forth between our favorite twilight characters. Co-authored by Next Mrs.Edward Cullen Plz be nice its my first fanfic
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 1,101 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/2/2008 - Published: 2/26/2008 - Complete
Good Morning Sunshine by E and R reviews
Max and Fang come to terms with their relationship...because of one stupid encounter with a very small hotel bed. After MR:SWOES M/F
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 785 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 12 - Published: 2/29/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Emmett and His Emmettness by Shelby Rae reviews
Emmett wants to do something, but Rose won't let him. Short and funny hopefully .
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 729 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/25/2008 - Complete
No Emmett, That Is NOT Food! by xedwardxloverx reviews
Edward thinks Bella's acting depressed. So what does he do? Gets her a pet! But Emmett...read to find out. Rated T cause I always squeeze in some ExB fluff in all of my stories, cause I love it. THE LAST CHAPTER IS NOW POSTED! Yours Truly, Jen
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,187 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 2/16/2008 - Published: 1/21/2008 - Complete
Global Warming? by Yes. I stole your boyfriend reviews
One Shot. Angel reads her Global Warming Theory in Class, after Fang gave her candy. And what's this about polar bears selling nuclear weapons to the Germans and Canadians...? Wait, what the Hell?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 823 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Complete
Scarier than a Family of Vampires by Shelby Rae reviews
What happens when Bella is faced with a life threating disease? Read and Review! BellaxEdward
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 29 - Words: 41,006 - Reviews: 556 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 1/23/2008 - Published: 11/22/2007 - Complete
Cullens: At the Zoo! by yayme2012 reviews
The Cullens want to have a little fun... Emmett gets to see the bears, Alice goes bankrupt in the giftshop, Jasper causes stampedes, and Edward starts slapping a monkey... and you thought he was the sane one!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,951 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 1/22/2008 - Published: 10/29/2007
The Prank Wars by EdwardAddict reviews
COMPLETE! Fang wants revenge for having to play Truth or Dare. Of course, Max strikes back. It turns into an all out Prank War. Even Ari and Jeb are getting involved. Is this an epidemic? MANGNESS! Voted Best Humor fic in the MR fanfic awards
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 42 - Words: 31,518 - Reviews: 1525 - Favs: 426 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 12/27/2007 - Published: 9/4/2006 - Fang, Max - Complete
Trick or Treat Maximum Ride Style by blossom993 reviews
max and the flock go trick or treating. what more can i say.one shot FAX FAX FAX FAX FAX FAX FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,082 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 26 - Published: 10/31/2007 - Complete
40 Harsh Things Max Could Say to a Naked Fang by EdwardAddict reviews
Just a little list of things Max might say to Fang if he didn't measure up. HumorParody Oneshot Faxy
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 398 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/23/2007 - Max, Fang - Complete
Charcoal Kisses by MRACR reviews
Life is wonderful for Max, except she keeps thinking about Fang. When something happens to him, will that change? Will it even matter anymore? Oneshot. Fax. I wanted this story to be a RomanceCookies story, but they don't have that option, sadly...
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,428 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Complete
How to Piss Off Fang by xXKoutaValentineXx reviews
Well...what the Title says
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 167 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/24/2007 - Complete
Colors by Angel Ren reviews
Ever want to get inside Marcus' head? What did he see in the antechamber in Volterra between Edward and Bella? Setting: New Moon Edited!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,768 - Reviews: 115 - Favs: 236 - Follows: 33 - Published: 8/21/2007 - Marcus - Complete
Vampiric Peaches by Llama Mama23 reviews
Emmett decides to attempt to turn peaches into vampires. WARNING: Extremely pointless and stupid!
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,813 - Reviews: 753 - Favs: 889 - Follows: 125 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Complete
New Moon Karaoke by LindaRoo reviews
The plot of New Moon set to the tune of Bye Bye Miss American Pie by Don McLean.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 995 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 12 - Published: 3/20/2007 - Complete
Transience by Annilaia reviews
Bella is a vampire with a complete blank for a past. When she meets the beautiful Edward Cullen it's love at first sight. Both of them will realize that he has had a bigger impact on her life than they expected, and he will help her remember her past.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,742 - Reviews: 490 - Favs: 482 - Follows: 158 - Updated: 3/10/2007 - Published: 2/9/2007 - Complete
Definition Mental State by bibliophyle reviews
Follow Jasper as he assaults Edward and anyone who gets in his way with a plethero of unwanted emotions! Mild language and sexual references. Chapter 2 'ANGST' now here! Review peeps!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,743 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 148 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 10/23/2006 - Published: 10/22/2006
Adventures in Babysitting by Carrianne reviews
Will and Elizabeth decide to go out for the night leaving their two-year old daughter Isabelle with none other than Captain Jack Sparrow !COMPLETED!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,922 - Reviews: 236 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 7/10/2004 - Published: 4/16/2004 - Complete
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Southern Star reviews
Edward’s life spins off in a completely different direction during his "rebel years". Will fate still bring him to Bella, or is he destined to live without her forever? Delightfully dark Edward. ExB - looking for a beta-reader.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,171 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 9/20/2009 - Published: 10/10/2008 - Edward, Bella
Queen of Night reviews
Bella is one of the original vampires, but doesn't remember her creation - except that she was never human. Does the truth of her past lie in her future? Bella/Edward
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,960 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 8/23/2009 - Published: 6/5/2008 - Bella, Edward
Manly Men reviews
Who is the Manliest Man of Manliest Men of the Manliest Men? In an attempt to solve this argument once and for all or for a while the Cullens have a series of weird competitions. Who will win?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,129 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 10/1/2008 - Published: 6/5/2008