Author has written 50 stories for Harry Potter, Love at Stake series, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, Naruto, BioShock, Greek Mythology, Soul Eater, Alice in Wonderland, 2010, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Avatar: Last Airbender, Portal, Things They Carried, Tangled, Shakespeare, Hogan's Heroes, M*A*S*H, Doctor Who, Incredibles, Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes, Supernatural, Avengers, Radio Dramas, Firefly, Wicked, Assassin's Creed, Ironman, Twilight, Hetalia - Axis Powers, Torchwood, Frozen, and Castle.
Name: Rebecca, Becca, Lord Rebecca-sama
Age: I’m much older than I look; I keep being mistaken for a 16 year old.
Location: Illinois, USA and that's as close as you get
Gender: I appear to be lacking a penis, so either I'm female or wasn't circumcised properly.
Beta Reader: On hold indefinitely.
Other Sites I Frequent: Tumblr, Youtube, Etsy Shop, Ao3
Avatar: Stocking from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt.
Cosplays: Ai Enma (Hell Girl), Little Sister (Bioshock), Toph Bei Fong (Avatar: TLA), Magenta (Rocky Horror), The Man in the Tan Jacket and fem!Carlos the Scientist (Welcome to Night Vale), Codex (The Guild) and Lilo (Lilo & Stitch).
Fav. Pairings (no where near complete):
-Jeremy/Aelita (Code Lyoko)
-Shigure/Akito (Fruits Basket)
-Kyo/Tohru (Fruits Basket)
-Ulrich/Yumi (Code Lyoko)
-Mad Hatter/Alice (Alice in Wonderland, 2010)
-David Hatter/Alice Hamilton (Alice, 2009)
-Flynn Rider/Rapunzel (Tangled)
-11th Doctor/River Song (Doctor Who)
-Rory Williams/Amy Pond (Doctor Who)
-Tony Stark/Pepper Potts (Iron Man)
-Richard Castle/Kate Beckett (Castle)
Gay (Guy/Guy) [top/bottom] (however I could care less about who tops)
-Roy Mustang/Edward Elric (FMA)
-Draco/Harry (Harry Potter)
-Envy/Edward Elric (FMA)
-Mello/Matt (Death Note)
-Light/L (Death Note)
-Robert Hogan/Peter Newkirk (Hogan's Heroes)
-Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (Sherlock)
-Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones (Torchwood)
-Tony Stark/Bruce Banner (MCU)
-Tony Stark/Loki (MCU)
-Carlos/Cecil (Welcome to Night Vale)
-Dean Winchester/Castiel (Supernatural)
-Gabriel/Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
-Tony Stark/Dean Winchester (MCU/SPN)
-Gabriel/Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
-Tony Stark/Bucky Barnes (MCU)
-Wade Wilson/Peter Parker (Marvel)
Fav. Manga: Fruits Basket, Death Note, Princess Resurrection, Fullmetal Alchemist, Othello (Yaoi), Azumanga Daioh, The Lost Boys (yaoi), MuShiShi, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, March Story, Love so Life, MPD Psycho
Fav. Anime: FullMetal Alchemist (both versions), Death Note, Hell Girl, Ouran High School Host Club, Hetalia-Axis Powers, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Baccano!, Nerima Daikon Brothers, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt
Fav. Movies: Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Iron Man 3, Tropic Thunder, Guardians of the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Death at a Funeral (2007), The Little Mermaid, The Powerpuff Girls Movie, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Addams Family Movie, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Vacation, and Vegas Vacation, Soapdish, Howl's Moving Castle, Galaxy Quest, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Coraline, Megamind, Tangled, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Best in Show, Little Shop of Horrors, Brave, Aladdin, Iron Man, Jurassic Park
Fav. TV Shows: Hogan's Heroes, M*A*S*H, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Bewitched, The Simpsons, Code Lyoko, Futurama, Better Off Ted, Torchwood, Life on Mars, Supernatural, Firefly, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Alice (2009), Castle
Fav. Radio Shows: Cabin Pressure, Welcome to Night Vale, Beyond Belief (Thrilling Adventure Hour), Good Omens
Fav. Bands/Artists: Imagine Dragons, My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Good Charlotte, blink-182, Marianas Trench, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Senses Fail, Cobra Starship, Owl City, Gumi, Hatsune Miku, Fall Out Boy
Fav. Books: Good Omens (Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett), The Host (Stephenie Meyer), Wicked Lovely series (Melissa Marr), Taming of The Shrew (Shakespeare), Thirteen Reasons Why (Jay Asher), The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie (Jaclyn Moriarty), Death Note: Another Note (Mello), L: Change the World (M), A Banquet for Hungry Ghosts (Ying Chang Compestine)
Fav. Video Games: Journey, Portal 2, Portal, Bioshock, Super Smash Bros 4, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker, Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA and Project Mirai, Minesweeper, LIMBO, Snood, LEGO Marvel Super Heroes, LEGO Jurassic World
Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comfortable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."
Fav. Random Shit:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
"Klink, your prisoners are waving at you," Burkhalter said. "Is this their day off?" -'The Adventure of the Löwenmähner Pension' by Seirra Sutherwinds
PUBLIC NOTICE: Due to recent budget cuts, the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, plus the current state of the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Have a nice day.
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Why is there so much month at the end of the money?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well, they stopped doing that crap when I started to do it to them at funerals.
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Smile. It confuses people.
Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there," thing. I think of it as a "You have to be clinically insane like us," thing.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are made of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
That's when I started breaking into people's houses. I didn't steal anything, but I did rearrange their furniture.
I really don't mind that people think my group of friends is a cult.
You can't make a person love you...You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
Evil Minions: not always as useful as one would hope.
I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures!
I'm not supposed to make sense! That would defeat the purpose of confusing people!
I'll never forget my wife's last words. "Enough," she said. "That hole is twice the size we need for my mother's body."
"You know, just once I would like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets." -The Brigadier (Doctor Who) [Robot]
"It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime." -Good Omens
“Come back here you yellow bellied bastards, I’ll gnaw your legs off!” -The Black Knight (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw." -Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)
"One day your gonna get bitched slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it." -Mr. Morgan (10 Things I Hate About You)
"I'll take a chip, and eat it." -Light (Death Note)
I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea." -Angela (Bones) [Aliens in a Spaceship]
"Oh my God, Watari is Batman!" -Uncle Yo
"Don't provoke the lunatic, alright." -Booth (Bones) [The Man in the Cell]
"L, I've caught Mello. But...he escaped." -Near (Death Note)
"If there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might as well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." –Mello [Narrator] (Death Note: Another Note)
"Do all boys keep their masterbatory needs in their shoes or is that just particular to you?" -Dr. Brennen (Bones) [The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond]
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway" -Elbert Hubbard
"You don't have to be involved, I just want your sperm." -Bones (Bones) [The Critic in the Cabernet]
"What the fuck are you doing? Get back in here and put your clothes on this instant!" -Sandra (Death at a Funeral)
"I look better fully clothed." -Zach (Bones)
"Mello, dresses like a transvestite, kills like a dragqueen." -Uncle Yo
"Bethany, by any chance does your cat eat jell-o?" -Clark (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
"I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired." -Larry the Cable Guy
"Don't worry, you're young. Your butt can take it." -Dean Lewis (Accepted)
“I think we broke his brain." -Pam (The Office) [The Return]
“Still alive, baby?” –Jane (Mr. and Mrs. Smith)
"Why does grandma have a gun?" -Wedding Crashers
“...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.” “This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.” –Sir Bedevere/King Arthur (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"It doesn't matter if it's already dead, you can shoot it again." -Mary Mack
"I wanna put that guy in soup, that's how good he is." -Nigel Lawrence
"I live in America, where if you don't speak Spanish, you'll starve." -Brad Williams
"Hold on, Bones, let's just pretend that I'm the cop for a second." –Booth (Bones) [The Woman in the Garden]
"Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination." - Mark Twain
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of." - Burt Bacharach
"Spider poison is people poison?" -Homer (The Simpsons)
"You think brushing your teeth is foreplay." -Marge (The Simpsons) [Last Exit to Springfield]
"Gai, you just groped me. I'm going to go take a shower and try to scrub my brain clean. Good bye." –Kakashi in ‘Beauty and the Beast’ by Stalker of Stories
"You can't yell encore when we are still playing. It’s like writing your grandmother’s obituary when she is still kicking." -Josh Ramsay (lead singer of Mariana's Trench)
"I keep secrets from my computer." -Dwight (The Office) [Golden Ticket]
"That's my wife, Jen. We're married...technically." -T-Mobile commercial
"I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Forman grill." -Jim (The Office)
"I’m sorry, sir, but our ages are simply too great in difference. It wouldn’t work out.” -Sasuke in ‘Collision Course’ by NeonWorld
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -Tiger Woods
"Lust, you have my heart on your sleeve. Literally, now I'm bleeding to death. Signed, Ed." -Uncle Yo
"He laminated a human being. We call that perverted, he's calls it limited edition." -Uncle Yo
"Paperweight mode." -Verizon commarcial
"Dear God, if you help me out with this, I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black guys." -Brucey (The Longest Yard)
"Pajama pants: when you know your night's gonna be devoid of human contact." -Uncle Yo
(BJ opens closet) "Klinger, is there someone in here?" "No, I've been in here twenty minutes and I haven't seen anybody." -B.J. Hunnicutt/Klinger (M*A*S*H) [Are you now, Margaret?]
"It was my skirt, my husband, and your glass floor." -Amy Pond
"Well, I was on my way to this gay, gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the fuhrer.' Who's with me?" -River Song (Doctor Who) [Let's Kill Hitler]
"I seem to have nothing to wear… Take off your clothes." -River Song (Doctor Who) [Let's Kill Hitler]
"No other race in the universe goes camping. Celebrate your uniqueness!" -Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood) [Countrycide]
"Oh, that's gorgeous." "That's a poodle." "S'nice!" -Captain John Hart/Gwen Cooper (Torchwood) [Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang]
“We are not currently allowing Dummy out of the lab, Sir,” JARVIS replied. “He has found where Mr. Stark hid the fire extinguisher and we have been unable to take it away from him.” -JARVIS in 'Finding Heart' by TiffanyF
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water!
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Yes, I am insane, but every now and then I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to be normal like you.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
I'm not short. I'm travel sized for your convenience.
I speak whale.
Christianity: the belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Orochimaru! Sasuke's done! Should I turn the oven off?
It's shiny and in video game rules, it's important.
Toes aren't needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
Evil isn't very good at naming their followers.
An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.
"Hi, I'm dead. What have you accomplished in life?"
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a cat.
Insanity is just a word for "eccentric genius"
Careful or you'll end up in my novel.
Are you a bad side effect of my medication?
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer (especially if the question is "Any volunteers?")
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
As I lay in my bed one night, and stare at the stars; I wonder...Where the heck is my ceiling?!
“I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
Ninja Ordinance 4: The academy students are not moving targets.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, cheese on toast
What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.
Enjoy the stories,