Author has written 57 stories for Code Lyoko, Harry Potter, Twilight, Love at Stake series, Vampires, Maximum Ride, Naruto, Fullmetal Alchemist, Death Note, BioShock, Greek Mythology, Soul Eater, Alice in Wonderland, 2010, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Avatar: Last Airbender, Portal, Things They Carried, Tangled, Shakespeare, Hogan's Heroes, M*A*S*H, Doctor Who, Incredibles, Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes, Supernatural, Avengers, Radio Dramas, Host, Hetalia - Axis Powers, and Torchwood.
Name: Rebecca, Becca, Slider, Klondike, Lord Rebecca-sama, the Hexakage, Anderson…just don’t call me Becky
Age: I'm a Time Lady from the planet Gallifrey. I’m much older than I look, which is true. I keep being mistaken for a 14 year old.
Location: Illinois, USA and that's as close as you get
Gender: I appear to be lacking a penis, so either I'm female or wasn't circumcised properly.
Beta Reader: On hold at the moment.
Other Sites I Frequent: DeviantART, Tumblr, Youtube, Etsy Shop, Ao3
Avatar: Stocking from Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt.
Cosplays: Near, L (Death Note), Nekozawa (Ouran High School Host Club), Hexagon Village, Ai Enma (Hell Girl), Little Sister (Bioshock), Toph Bei Fong (Avatar: TLA), Magenta (Rocky Horror), working on Tsunade (Naruto). I would LOVE to do River Song, but it isn't gonna happen. (Doctor Who), also really want to do Merida because I love her hair. (Brave)
Fav. Pairings (no where near complete):
-Jeremy/Aelita (Code Lyoko)
-Shigure/Akito (Fruits Basket)
-Kyo/Tohru (Fruits Basket)
-Ulrich/Yumi (Code Lyoko)
-Mad Hatter/Alice (Alice in Wonderland, 2010)
-David Hatter/Alice Hamilton (Alice, 2009)
-Flynn Rider/Rapunzel (Tangled)
-11th Doctor/River Song (Doctor Who)
-Rory Williams/Amy Pond (Doctor Who)
-Tony Stark/Pepper Potts (Iron Man)
Yaoi (Guy/Guy)[seme/uke] or [top/bottom] if you prefer (however I could care less about who tops, as long as they're having sex)
-Roy Mustang/Edward Elric (FMA)
-Draco/Harry (Harry Potter)
-Envy/Edward Elric (FMA)
-Mello/Matt (Death Note)
-Light/L (Death Note)
-Robert Hogan/Peter Newkirk (Hogan's Heroes)
-Sherlock Holmes/John Watson (Sherlock)
-Captain Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones (Torchwood)
-Tony Stark/Bruce Banner (Avengers)
-Tony Stark/Loki (Avengers)
-Carlos/Cecil (Welcome to Night Vale)
-Dean Winchester/Castiel (Supernatural)
-Gabriel/Sam Winchester (Supernatural)
Pairings I dislike:
-Ones that make no sense, though I'm open to most pairings if the story is written well.
-Alphonse Elric/Edward Elric (FMA)
-Hermione Granger/Ginny Weasley (Harry Potter)
-I don't particularly like yuri. Nothing against girl/girl, but I don't like reading girls having sex with other girls.
Other things in stories I dislike:
-When a story is discontinued and the author tells everyone that they're taking it off the site. Yes, it's disappointing to readers who liked the story and want to see more, but don't take it down. Just say it was discontinued and leave it up. Maybe it could get picked up by someone new or something of the sort.
-Mpreg is iffy for me. The story can't be the man being pregnant for the entire thing or focus on him being pregnant. The pregnancy has to come about in a logical way from inside the canon universe. Otherwise, I find the pregnancy improbable and I can't read it.
-Gender Switch. There's really no point in changing a character's gender. (and yet, I read a lot of them. I just don't like that they had to switch the gender for the story to work.)
-When the story isn't formatted well
-When someone changes canon so much that it just changes everything and still say that it's the canon universe
-Filler chaps that make no sense with the story (I have done this too. I'm ashamed.)
-OOCness when it's not on purpose
-ANs not taken out of stories when the next chapter is posted
Fav. Manga: Fruits Basket, Death Note, Princess Resurrection, Fullmetal Alchemist, Othello (Yaoi), Azumanga Daioh, The Lost Boys (yaoi), MuShiShi, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, March Story, Love so Life, MPD Psycho
Fav. Anime: FullMetal Alchemist (both versions), Death Note, Hell Girl, Ouran High School Host Club, Hetalia-Axis Powers, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Baccano!, Nerima Daikon Brothers, Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, Attack on Titan
Fav. Movies: Iron Man 3, The Longest Yard, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Death at a Funeral (2007), The Little Mermaid, The Powerpuff Girls Movie, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Addams Family Movie, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Vacation, and Vegas Vacation, Soapdish, Howl's Moving Castle, Galaxy Quest, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Coraline, Megamind, Tangled, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Best in Show, Little Shop of Horrors, Brave, Aladdin, Iron Man, Avengers
Fav. TV Shows: Hogan's Heroes, M*A*S*H, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Bewitched, The Simpsons, Code Lyoko, Futurama, Better Off Ted, Torchwood, Life on Mars, Supernatural, Bewitched, I Dream of Jeannie, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, Alice (2009)
Fav. Radio Shows: Cabin Pressure, Welcome to Night Vale
Fav. Bands/Artists: My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco, Good Charlotte, blink-182, Marianas Trench, Green Day, Fall Out Boy, Skye Sweetnam, Senses Fail, Cobra Starship, Owl City, Gumi, Hatsune Miku, Chameleon Circuit
Fav. Books: Love At Stake series (Kerrelyn Sparks), The Host (Stephenie Meyer), Wicked Lovely series (Melissa Marr), Taming of The Shrew (Shakespeare), Thirteen Reasons Why (Jay Asher), The Murder of Bindy Mackenzie (Jaclyn Moriarty), Death Note: Another Note (Mello), L: Change the World (M), A Banquet for Hungry Ghosts (Ying Chang Compestine)
Fav. Video Games: Portal 2, Portal, Bioshock, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Wind Waker, Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA and Project Mirai, Minesweeper, LIMBO, Snood
I respect the 10 rules of anime (as said by Uncle Yo):
1) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its title. Look at Bleach…
2) Thou shall not judge an anime based on its opening theme.
3) Thou shall not judge based on its random misuse of English (because at least they’re trying).
4) Not by said anime’s opening theme song’s random misuse of English.
5) Thou shall not judge a new anime based on its first episode. It’s call the bait-and-switch people, be aware of it.
6) Thou shall not judge based on the fan girls.
7) Thou shall not steal new anime from the Internet….unless thou intends to share with thine anime club.
8) Thou shall accept that gravity is optional. Especially when dealing with hair.
9) Thou shall not say the manga was better unless thou hath read the manga.
10) Thou shall forgive thy parent’s for calling anime “cartoons,” and thus grouping Spike Spiegal and Light Yagami with Mickey Mouse, Bugs Bunny and SpongeBob Squarepants.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"
"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."
In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.
"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.
"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.
"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.
"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.
The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"
Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"
"Amen," replied the congregation.
Four guys were out golfing and one guy hit his ball out into the rough. He goes to look for it. The other three start to talk about their sons. The first guy says, "My sons' a doctor and he's doing so well that he's taking someone to Europe." The next guy said, "Well my son is a car salesman and he's doing so well, that he gave a car to someone." The third guy says, "Well my sons' a contractor and he's doing so well, that he built someone a house for free." The forth guy comes back and the others ask him what's going on with his son. He says, "Well he's gay." And the others say, "Oh, we're really sorry." The guy says, "Oh no, we're not upset. We're glad he feels comfortable enough to tell us and besides, one guy gave him a free car, one guy built him a house, and another ones' taking him to Europe."
Fav. Random Shit:
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
Bookstores are the only evidence that people are still thinking.
"Klink, your prisoners are waving at you," Burkhalter said. "Is this their day off?" -'The Adventure of the Löwenmähner Pension' by Seirra Sutherwinds
PUBLIC NOTICE: Due to recent budget cuts, the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, plus the current state of the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. Have a nice day.
"wots the point of aving boobs if theres no one to fondle them" -my friend, Alice, over facebook chat.
Copy and Pastes:
If you’ve ever had the sudden desire to own a taser….
If yoo cant spel too sav yoor lyfe then putt thes in yoor profiele.
If you have deja vu a lot…
If you probably have a body in your closet…
If you would kill to have wings…
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer…
If you're random and proud of it…
If people think you are mentally insane...
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation…
If you have your own little world…
If you've ever talked to yourself…
If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination…
If you and your friend break out into song in a public area…
If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it…
If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water…
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?
If it’s tourist season, why can’t we shoot them?
Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Why is there so much month at the end of the money?
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well, they stopped doing that crap when I started to do it to them at funerals.
Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Good friends give you a ride. Close friends buy you a car. Best friends are the getting-away-from-the-scene-of-the-crime driver.
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
Smile. It confuses people.
Children in front seats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
When people don't laugh at our jokes, I don't think of it as a "You had to be there," thing. I think of it as a "You have to be clinically insane like us," thing.
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
You are NOT a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are made of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
That's when I started breaking into people's houses. I didn't steal anything, but I did rearrange their furniture.
I really don't mind that people think my group of friends is a cult.
You can't make a person love you...You can only stalk them and hope for the best.
Evil Minions: not always as useful as one would hope.
...Oh, yeah! My daddy kills people in the wine cellar all the time.
I believe in dragons, good men, and other fantasy creatures!
I Googled you today and I'm disturbed with what I found.
Stalkers are like your best friends. They just hide behind trees more.
I'm not supposed to make sense! That would defeat the purpose of confusing people!
Fate doesn't exist. We're all just pawns in someone else's fanfiction!
I say if someone has done something so bad that they deserve the death penalty, forget the lethal injection, I say get creative!
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn’t know what to do! I’d knock on people’s doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."
I'll never forget my wife's last words. "Enough," she said. "That hole is twice the size we need for my mother's body."
"You know, just once I would like to meet an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets." -The Brigadier (Doctor Who) [Robot]
"It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime." -Good Omens
“Come back here you yellow bellied bastards, I’ll gnaw your legs off!” -The Black Knight (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"If you think nobody cares you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments." –Earl Wilson
"Oh, good, my dog found the chainsaw." -Lilo (Lilo and Stitch)
"May all your bacon burn!" -Calcifer (Howl's Moving Castle)
"What with all of us PERVERTS creeping around at night." -Shigure Sohma (Fruits Basket)
"Help, help, help. Crazy lady with a shovel." -Calcifer
"One day your gonna get bitched slapped and I'm not gonna do a thing to stop it." -Mr. Morgan (10 Things I Hate About You)
Mr. Garrison: Oh, well, your moms are just upset. They're probably all on their periods or something.
"I'll take a chip, and eat it." -Light (Death Note)
I don't know - putting testicles on the outside doesn't seem like such a good idea." -Angela (Bones) [Aliens in a Spaceship]
"Oh my God, Watari is Batman!" -Uncle Yo
"Don't provoke the lunatic, alright." -Booth (Bones) [The Man in the Cell]
"L, I've caught Mello. But...he escaped." -Near (Death Note)
“If this job is in a well, I don't want it." -Jim (The Office) [Beach Games]
"Suck, pull, bang, blow." -my mom
"I just want to be squeezed." -Mr. Clean commercial
"We know how to do it lots of different ways." -Gazzy (MAX 5th book)
"If there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might as well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." –Mello [Narrator] (Death Note: Another Note)
"Do all boys keep their masterbatory needs in their shoes or is that just particular to you?" -Dr. Brennen (Bones) [The Perfect Pieces in the Purple Pond]
"Mexico is in the United States, right?" -Jocelyn in my APHG class
"No, it's not true! I'm not just a pervert!" "What!? Yeah right..." "I am...A SUPER PERVERT!" –Jiraiya/Naruto (Naruto)
"Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway" -Elbert Hubbard
"You don't have to be involved, I just want your sperm." -Bones (Bones) [The Critic in the Cabernet]
"What the fuck are you doing? Get back in here and put your clothes on this instant!" -Sandra (Death at a Funeral)
"I look better fully clothed." -Zach (Bones)
"Stop touching my penis!" -Guy in my gym class
"Mello, dresses like a transvestite, kills like a dragqueen." -Uncle Yo
"Everyone's dead, so I got bored." -Wrath (FMA)
"Bethany, by any chance does your cat eat jell-o?" -Clark (National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation)
"I used to be a lifeguard until some blue kid got me fired." -Larry the Cable Guy
"Adoption leads to serial killing." -Kramer (Seinfeld)
"Don't worry, you're young. Your butt can take it." -Dean Lewis (Accepted)
“I think we broke his brain." -Pam (The Office) [The Return]
“Still alive, baby?” –Jane (Mr. and Mrs. Smith)
"Why does grandma have a gun?" -Wedding Crashers
“...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.” “This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.” –Sir Bedevere/King Arthur (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
"It doesn't matter if it's already dead, you can shoot it again." -Mary Mack
"I wanna put that guy in soup, that's how good he is." -Nigel Lawrence
"I live in America, where if you don't speak Spanish, you'll starve." -Brad Williams
"Hold on, Bones, let's just pretend that I'm the cop for a second." –Booth (Bones) [The Woman in the Garden]
"Anyone who can only think of only one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination." - Mark Twain
"A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of." - Burt Bacharach
"Spider poison is people poison?" -Homer (The Simpsons)
"You think brushing your teeth is foreplay." -Marge (The Simpsons) [Last Exit to Springfield]
"Gai, you just groped me. I'm going to go take a shower and try to scrub my brain clean. Good bye." –Kakashi in ‘Beauty and the Beast’ by Stalker of Stories
"You can't yell encore when we are still playing. It’s like writing your grandmother’s obituary when she is still kicking." -Josh Ramsay (lead singer of Mariana's Trench)
"I keep secrets from my computer." -Dwight (The Office) [Golden Ticket]
"That's my wife, Jen. We're married...technically." -T-Mobile commercial
"I want to clamp Michael's face in a George Forman grill." -Jim (The Office)
(to the tune of the wheels on the bus)"The woman across the block has nothing on, nothing on, nothing on." –Kramer (Seinfeld) [The Contest]
"I’m sorry, sir, but our ages are simply too great in difference. It wouldn’t work out.” -Sasuke in ‘Collision Course’ by NeonWorld
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." -Robin Williams
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." -Tiger Woods
"Lust, you have my heart on your sleeve. Literally, now I'm bleeding to death. Signed, Ed." -Uncle Yo
"He laminated a human being. We call that perverted, he's calls it limited edition." -Uncle Yo
"Paperweight mode." -Verizon commarcial
"Sometimes when I look at my children, I think to myself, I could have swallowed you."
"Dear God, if you help me out with this, I promise to stop cheating on my wife with black guys." -Brucey (The Longest Yard)
“You don't know what a woman feels like when she's in love!” “Oh, yes I do! Or at least I've felt enough women to venture a guess” –Kagura/Shigure (Fruits Basket)
"Pajama pants: when you know your night's gonna be devoid of human contact." -Uncle Yo
(BJ opens closet) "Klinger, is there someone in here?" "No, I've been in here twenty minutes and I haven't seen anybody." -B.J. Hunnicutt/Klinger (M*A*S*H) [Are you now, Margaret?]
"It was my skirt, my husband, and your glass floor." -Amy Pond
"Well, I was on my way to this gay, gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, 'Gosh, the Third Reich's a bit rubbish, I think I'll kill the fuhrer.' Who's with me?" -River Song (Doctor Who) [Let's Kill Hitler]
"I seem to have nothing to wear… Take off your clothes." -River Song (Doctor Who) [Let's Kill Hitler]
"Look at me, I'm a target!" -The Doctor (Doctor Who) [The Pandorica Opens]
"No other race in the universe goes camping. Celebrate your uniqueness!" -Captain Jack Harkness (Torchwood) [Countrycide]
"Oh, that's gorgeous." "That's a poodle." "S'nice!" -Captain John Hart/Gwen Cooper (Torchwood) [Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang]
“We are not currently allowing Dummy out of the lab, Sir,” JARVIS replied. “He has found where Mr. Stark hid the fire extinguisher and we have been unable to take it away from him.” -JARVIS in 'Finding Heart' by TiffanyF
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS.
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Being normal is overrated.
Never hide the bodies in the same place, your closet gets full after a while.
"So, you're a cannibal."
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.
A rejected invention: Instant water! just add water!
I put the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.
If you wish on a falling star it might come true... Unless it's a meteor hurdling to earth... Then no wishes come true... Unless your wish was to be killed a meteor hurdling to earth.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Yes, I am insane, but every now and then I have these horrible periods of boredom where I have to be normal like you.
If it weren't for physics and law enforcement, I'd be unstoppable.
I don't know what my problem is, but I do know its hard to pronounce.
I'm not short. I'm travel sized for your convenience.
I speak whale.
Christianity: the belief that some cosmic Jewish zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Orochimaru! Sasuke's done! Should I turn the oven off?
With a stoplight, Green means Go, Yellow means Slow, and Red means Stop. But with bananas, it's very different. Yellow means Go, Green means Whoa Slow Down, and Red means Where The Heck Did You Get A Red Banana?!
It's shiny and in video game rules, it's important.
Toes aren't needed for balance. They are just a helpful tool for finding items in the dark. Painfully
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.
What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual What do you call someone who speaks one language? American.
Evil isn't very good at naming their followers.
An evil plot to destroy the world. Enjoy.
"Hi, I'm dead. What have you accomplished in life?"
What has two legs and bleeds? Half a cat.
Insanity is just a word for "eccentric genius"
Careful or you'll end up in my novel.
Are you a bad side effect of my medication?
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer(, especially if the question is "Any volunteers?")
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Being a ninja and wearing bright orange is like giving a pedophile directions to where your kid sleeps at night.
As I lay in my bed one night, and stare at the stars; I wonder...Where the heck is my ceiling?!
“I'll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.”
“Being in a band you can wear whatever you want - it's like an excuse for Halloween everyday"
Ninja Ordinance 4: The academy students are not moving targets.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, cheese on toast
What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.
Enjoy the stories,
The 7 Blue Yaoi Cats of Wall Club Oneshots chapter list:
2. English Class
3. Mello's Schedule
4. Mello Gets Kidnapped
5. Al's Secret and Death the Kid's Obsession Part Uno
6. Al's Secret and Death the Kid's Obsession Part Two
7. Envy's Punishment
8. Death of a Ninja
10. Such a Fail, It's Almost a Win
13. Who the Heck?
15. Will the Real Father Please Stand Up?
16. The Canoe Trip
17. The Chainsaw
18. I'll Trade you a Shinigami for your Friendship
19. Kira's Schedule
20. Stuck on a Corner for ACEN and the ones we love
21. Lunch Table Confessions
22. One and the Same
23. Revenge is Like Sticking Your Hand into a Clearance Box. Ya Never Know What Touching, Awkward Family Moment You’ll Ruin.
24. Pattern Sentences
26. Death Note: Another Day
29. I've Always Loved You
30. The Airport
31. Recia's Birthday Present...NO I DO NOT WANT A COOKIE!!!!
32. Summer in Germany
33. Lunchtime Conversations
35. How to Make a Baby
36. The Hidden Hexagon Village: A History
37. Why did I do it?
38. Sunday Morning