Author has written 7 stories for Twilight.
8-26-08 UPDATE: I am joining with my cousin, BelloTopaOcchi and XxMoonstonexX under one penname. This will not take place until I finish my story, Full Moon. The new penname hasn't been chosen yet, but it will.. evenutally.
I live in Washington D.C., I know, it's the closest thing you can get to Washington state. I have been reading fanfictions for a while now, and decided to start writing my own. English is not my first language, I was born and lived in Italy for seven years. Actually, I lived in Volterra. (And for you people who don't think it's a real place, it's there, and no, I have not seen any of the Volturi there.)
Books: Twilight, Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Faerie, The Guardians of Ga'Hoole, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe, Lionboy trilogy, and a lot more! (I just can't think of them right now.)
Music: Evanescence (they ROCK!!), Reliant K, Snow Patrol, Linkin Park, Taylor Swift, Jordan Sparks, Jonas Brothers, BoysLikeGirls, and Paramore.
Movies: POTC, the Phantom of the Opera, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, Harry Potter, A Walk to Remember, the Notebook, and more!
This about a little girl who was abused, if you care copy and paste this in your profile
This about a little girl who was abused, if you care copy and paste this in your profile
My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm sradishing to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I sradish to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
Where's Elizabeth? She's safe, just like I promised, she's all set to marry Norrington, just like she promised, and you get to die for her, just like you promised. So we're all men of our words really, except for Elizabeth, who is, in fact, a woman. Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean
Stop blowing holes in my ship! -Jack Sparrow
But ... why is the rum gone? Why is the rum always gone? -Jack Sparrow
Stupid shiny Volvo owner. -Bella Swan, Twilight
Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills ... you know what you gotta do when life gets you down? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming swimming ... -Dory, Finding Nemo
I suffer from short term memory loss. No really! It runs in my family ... at least I think it does ... hmmm ... where are they ... (pause) ... Can I help you? -Dory
From now on, you shall refer to me a Sid, Lord of the Flame! Hey Lord of the Flame - your tail's on fire. -Diego
Sonny: Yes detective?
Spooner: Calvin's fine - save me!
Jack: Lady Bracknell, I hate to seem inquisitive, but would you kindly inform me who I am? -The Importance of being Earnest
Jack Sparrow: to Weatherby Swann I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically.
Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north,
Jack Sparrow: Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid.
Dumbledore: What happened down in the dungeon between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows. -Harry Potter
Mullroy: What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr. Smith?
Oh fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! -Pirates of the Carribbean
Spooner: You are the dumbest smart person I've ever met!
Calvin: Well you are the dumbest dumb person I've ever met. - I, Robot
If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy/paste onto profile.
A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"
Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days".
A good friend bails you out of jail. A great friend is sitting there next to you saying "Man, that was fun!"
Good friends will share their umbrella. Best friends will take yours and say "RUN, BEEP, RUN"
Good friends will wipe your tears when you're rejected. Best friends will go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
Diamonds are precious and so are pearls, but nothing is better then me and my girls.
Enemies stab you in front, friends stab you in the back, boy stab you in the heart, but best friends are there to stab those @' s right back.
AND NOW FOR SOME EVEN MORE RANDOM THINGS THAT ARE NOT ABOUT ME
Between two evils, i always pick the one I've never tried.
Don't be mean to nerds. One day you'll end up working for one.
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
The evening news is where they say "Good Evening" and then proceed to tell you that it isn't one.
If you get good grades and yet still know nothing, copy/paste onto profile.
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when its weird.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever tripped where there is a "watch your step" sign, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy/paste onto profile.
For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hours-long sob fest and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. If you're crazy, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy/paste onto profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy/paste onto profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy/paste onto profile.
If you don't watch Laguna Beach, the O.C., or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and you are proud of it, copy/paste onto profile.
If you don't think that everything Oprah says is true and you don't watch her religiously then copy/paste onto profile and add your name to the list. Sapphirepaw, hxcb, Silverwingedshadow, Meepisms, Bella, Silver-onyxfang.
If you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever read past two in the morning, copy/paste onto profile.
If you love rain, copy/paste onto profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy/paste onto profile.
92 of American teenagers would die if Ascribe and Filch/American Eagle told them it was uncool to breathe. If you are one of the 8 who would stand there and laugh, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've ever tripped over air, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the frik'n trix, copy/paste onto profile.
93 of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" copy/paste onto profile.
IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY/PASTE ONTO PROFILE.
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, copy/paste onto profile.
If you think Fred should just led Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy/paste onto profile.
if you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy/paste onto profile.
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy/paste onto profile.
the electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, copy/paste on profile.
If you have your own little world, copy/paste onto profile.
If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times ... copy/paste onto profile.
If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy/paste onto profile.
If you like wearing black and acting goth, but aren't, post on profile.
If you have ever seen a movie or show so many times that you can quote it word for word, and you do so at random moments, post on profile.
If several inanimate objects hate you post this on profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is cared of you because of its effects post on profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't quite know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which makes weird good. if you are weird and proud of it, post on profile!
If you have an MP3 and love rocking out to it, post on profile.
If you would kill to have wings, post on profile.
If, with no warning, you laughed during a move part that wasn't funny, post on profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, post on profile.
If you truly believe there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you, post on profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy onto profile.
if you've ever asked a really, stupid, obvious question, copy onto profile.
If you're absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, copy onto profile.
If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy onto profile.
If you ran up a down escalator, copy onto profile.
if you ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy onto profile.
If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy onto profile.
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy onto profile.
If you're random and proud of it, copy onto profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile
If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy onto profile.
Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. if you are crazy and proud of it, copy onto profile.
If you hear voices of the characters from a book in your head, copy onto profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy onto profile.
If you are anti-social sometimes copy onto profile.
If you ever felt like killing someone because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you becuse you were busy copy onto profile.
If you are a person who acts friendly but who has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy onto profile.
If you support the "Make Edward change Bella into a vampire" club, copy onto profile.
If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste onto profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy onto profile.
If you like chocolate as much as i do, copy onto profile.
If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how gorgeous Edward Cullen because you don't want said gorgeous Edward Cullen to hear, copy onto profile.
If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball, copy onto profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Something weird that i saw on someone's profile that i liked so yea ...
MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:
1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
4. Those that live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 change of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.
7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
12. A shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
14. When you go to court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
COMPLETE RANDOMNESS FROM OTHER PEOPLES PROFILES:
Runtime error 6D at 417A:32CF: incompetent user.
The world is coming to an end. Please log off.
It said: "For Windows 95 or better" but it wouldn't work on my Linux.
If it happens once, it's a bug. If it happens twice, it's a feature. If it happens more than twice, it's design philosophy.
A penny saved is a penny taxed.
It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
It's a catastrophic success!
I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
Time is a great teacher. Unfortunately, it eventually kills all its pupils ...
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-"I'm going to try to be me, whoever that is..."
I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
HA I read this on someones profile and just had to borrow it, im sorry if you don’t want me to copy it but its just sooo funny
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. that way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.
It’s not cheating unless you get caught.
Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I’ve done it dozens of times.
I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot.
I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!
Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.
I’ve got problem for your solution…
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
Your school GPA is inversely proportionate to your girlfriend’s looks and vise versa.
Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again ?
Of course, it’s very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
You can’t be late until you show up.
The only place you find success before work is in the dictionary.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
War doesn’t determine who’s right. War determines who’s left.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
We can forgive those who bore us. We cannot forgive those whom we bore.
Experience is the name so many people give to their mistakes.
I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.
I can resist everything except temptation.
Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.
The real trouble with reality is that there’s no background music.
As Long As There Are Tests, There Will Be Prayer In Public Schools.
Never interrupt your opponent while he’s making a mistake.
You never learn anything by doing it right.
Every rule has an exception. Especially this one.
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority over the other.
It isn’t homework unless it’s due tomorrow.
If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.
Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.
I once prayed to god for a car, but quickly found out he didnt work that way…so I stole a car and prayed for his forgiveness
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
He’s so ugly they ought to donate his face to the world wildlife fund.
Most of the time he sounds like he has a mouth full of toilet paper.
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
A lot of beautiful people are stupid. There’s a tremendous amount of idiots who look so good. It’s frightening.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error.
Being stupid is its own reward
Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything.
I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.
Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change.
STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand
With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.
I say no to drugs, but they don’t listen.
If aliens are looking for intelligent life?! WHY THE HECK ARE YOU SCARED?!
The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
Sure, it’s going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.
I have opinions of my own –strong opinions– but I don’t always agree with them.
The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.
Stop being so stupid.. it’s my turn.
I don’t think anyone should write his autobiography until after he’s dead.
If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer him
You can’t just let nature run wild.
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
I cannot tell you how grateful I am — I am filled with humidity.
The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others.
Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again.
Many wise words are spoken in jest, but they don’t compare with the number of stupid words spoken in earnest.
A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else.
Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty.
The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.
Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same.
A road to a friend’s house is never long.
I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.
Count your age with friends but not with years.
A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin no matter what.
When a friend is in trouble, don’t annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.
Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows.
When you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life.
True friendship is when two friends can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.
Your friend is the person who knows all about you, and still like you.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost.
Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise.
Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life.
To be depressed is to be lonely; to have a friend is to be happy.
Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure.
Side by side or miles apart, dear friends are always close to the heart.
Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you.
Your friends are what will matter in the end.
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Don't be so humble - you're not that great.
It is time that I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
People who say anything is possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
Guys should be like lattes - rich, strong, and hot.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
Plagiarism is copying from one source; research is copying from many.
FATAL ERROR: Size of thought exceeds available memory.
I wrote your name in the sky, but the wind blew it away. I wrote your name in the sand, but the waves splashed it away. I wrote your name in my heart, and it lasted forever.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
The best things in the world are free -- and worth every penny of it.
Psychology. Mind over matter. Mind under matter? It doesn't matter. Never mind.
I pledge allegiance to the internet and to the principle of end-to-end connectivity for which it stands. One network, under construction, with liberty and access for all.
My programs never have bugs, they just develop random features.windows: 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1-bit of competition
Who's General Failure & why is he reading my disk?
I haven't lost my mind -- it's backed up on tape somewhere.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue...
WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL & PAPER.SYS)
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.
Emo kids have cool hair.
EMO = Extravagantly Made Origami
Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Let's flip a coin. Heads, We'll be together, tails, we'll flip again.
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Was that an earthquake, or did i just rock your world?
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Why are the Force and ducktape the same? both have a light and a dark side and hold the universe together.
Don't hate yourself in the morning - sleep until noon
Don't call me emo or I'll cry big juicy tears of blood and pain and then I'l die and it will all be YOUR FAULT.
Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.
I don't suffer from insanity, i enjoy every minute of it.
Don't frown, even when you're sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.
You have to have darkness for a dawn to come.
Last night i looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason i love you. I was doing fine until I ran out of stars.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.
Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question.
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed and permanently set.
The town was so dull that when the tide went out it refused to come back in.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people
Tell the truth and run.
All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.
When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.
Education is important. School however, is another matter.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as the go by.
Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic ... maybe we should have amateurs build everything.
Music is love in search of word.
It's a fusion of Jazz and funk - is it called 'Junk'?
If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow ans say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?'
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?
Why is chocolate considered a vegetable if chocolate comes from the cocoa bean and all beans are vegetables?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
When life hands you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade.
Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.
Imitation is the most annoying form of flattery.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Always forgive our enemies - nothing annoys them so much.
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously overlooked something.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don't mess with me I've got a stick.
He said, "I love you" , I laughed and said, "Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."
I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet.
Of course I'm talking to myself. who else can i trust?
Let me know if anything i say offends you - I might want to offend you later.
One way to figure out how things work: push all the buttons!
When i say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I smile because i have no idea what's going on.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
I ran with scissors and lived!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
I'm the kind of person who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Stupid shiny Volvo owner. (Twilight! Woot Woot!)
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.
Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird?
Come join the dark side. (We have Edward Cullen)
All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick
If you are on fanfiction.net for some other reason than writing pure romance fics or totally rearranging the original story because some slash romance story didn't happen, copy this and paste it onto your profile.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
It's a matter of life after death-now that he's dead, I have a life
Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public
I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have
There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day.
Oops, I appear to have fallen on your lips.
Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines.
Somebody needs a Happy Meal.
Music is like candy-you throw away the rappers.
I would be more scared if you were aiming for the person next to me
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again
Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way
My heart is not a playground
I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms
Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.
Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.
If annoyed further, I shall spork your eyes out.
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.
Twilight: because we all secretly own two copies.
Love can come in many different colours.
Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?
We fall for stupid boys we make lots of dumb mistakes we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're really good at one thing, staying strong.
It wasn't a dark and stormy night. It should have been, but that's weather for you. For every mad scientist who's had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who've sat around aimlessly under peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime."
What is easy is not always right, and what is right is not always easy.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
If you can't see he bright side of life, polish the dull side.
If you are wasting your time reading weird, witty, funny things off of someone's crazy profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this onto your profile.