Author has written 27 stories for Naruto, Harry Potter, Higurashi/Umineko series, and Death Note.
NICKNAMES: Steff, Steph, Steffie, Tiffy, Rogue, Ernie, Poison Ivy, KoolKittyKat, You With The Face, Cousin Itt, Stripe, Tushi-face, Katora, Koura, Kat... Will add more once I've been named yet again. Call me whatever you like! :)
AGE: 19 (as of 7/27/13)
HOME: Tennessee, in the United States
FACEBOOK:(Tell me you're from FF.Net if you want to add me.)
1: I depise "txt talk" and "Jersey Shores" lingo. Whenever you see something to the effect of "Um, like, no. Not happening. He totally saw her first. So, there." in one of my stories, you can identify this as one of my attempts (note: attempts) at being funny. It usually indicates crack moments, which you'll find I insert a lot. Some of my friends and I talk like that sometimes because we think it's hillarious that people do that — not trying to hurt anyone's feelings; just our opinion. (I also HATE rap music.)
2: Even though I have all this boring crap about myself on here, I don't think any of you really know me. So, this is my sad, sad try at helping you all understand:
My friends and I are the "other guys" at school. We're the group that get on people's nerves because we laugh and yell so loudly about hillarious crap that no one else finds funny. We can practically read one another's minds, and we've all got a good sense of humor — or, at least, I think so. (For example, we find amusement in weaving completely crack-filled stories about how this older-than-dirt science teacher at our school is going to come busting through the ceiling one day in an Iron Man suit and engage in Mortal Kombat with an English teacher, then climb back up to her classroom on the second floor like the creepy old angel-lady from "Legion".) We're the ones that do actually tackle our friends in flying-rape hugs in the hallway and cafeteria like characters do in crack!-fics. We're like one big family, and most of us don't give a crap about what other people think about us; we typically give each other really rude or weird nicknames (one of my friends is "Whore", and another is "Steven The Future Surgeon"). We make up our own words, we have the times of our lives, we bust our asses laughing about things like Neon Genesis Evangelion Abridged,and we stick together through thick and thin. We just...well, we do whatever the heck we want, no matter how big a fool we make of ourselves. Teachers, except for the occasional few, always seem to like us for some reason, though... Confusing.
3: I'm an 80's kid through and through. All I ever wear is concert t's, old black jeans, and tennis shoes. My pajamas are concert t's that are filled with so many holes that my mom has banned me from wearing them in public and sweatpants stained with paint from when we were painting rooms in the house. I absolute despise the color pink (except on Sakura from "Naruto"...no clue why), dresses, skirts, and make-up. I carry a wallet instead of a purse because purses are freak'n weird, and I have only just recently acquired my driver's license. Sure, I'm old enough to have gotten it years ago, but I'm the person that'll go on pedestrian road rage. (Two points for every person, Five points for every person walking a dog, and Ten points for every person I know and don't like!) Whenever someone drives really slow or does something stupid out on the road, both my mom and I start yelling at them like they can hear us. I don't like talking on the phone; it's just...awkward.
4: I'm not your "OH EM GEE, A NEW SHADE OF NAIL POLISH! EEEEEE!!" kind of spazz. I'm more of the "HOLY HELL ON A BRIGHT YELLOW POGO STICK. I JUST HAD THIS EPIC VISION OF US MAKING IDIOTS OUT OF OURSELVES. LET'S GO GET KICKED OUT OF AN APPLEBEES!" type. All of my friends and I tend to talk very loudly when we get excited, and when we do... Well, we go all-out.
5: Whenever I'm writing an author's note and I suddenly change subjects, it's because my mind has decided to go all "OH MY SWEET LEMON-FLAVORED CHICKEN ON A STICK. IDEA! IDEA!" That's my psycho spazz-ness rearing its ugly head. I don't have a short attention span; I just have a short "I'm interested in this current subject because it's not boring even though it really is" span. Yeah. Anyways.
I... Well... Yes. I hope you all have a better grip on my mind-set (or lack thereof, as I've also been told). So. Questions? 8D
10 THINGS YOU PROBABLY CAN'T TELL ABOUT ME FROM MY WRITING:
1: I don't hate Sasuke. No, really - I don't. I very deeply disliked him for a while, but he's redeemed himself over the years, and I kinda like him again. It's just... Well, he's really easy to write as a bad guy and an arrogant douchepickle. In fact, I find it pretty funny when I do. But I don't hate him at all.
2: I like Anko. A lot. She's one of my favorites, and I just love making her a sadistic bitch that crushes everyone beneath her heel.
3: I like Rin, too. I like to picture her (and Tenten) as the kind of girl that smiles very sweetly before she completely destroys someone and subjects them to her nonexistent mercy. I imagine they, Sakura, Anko, Tsunade, and Kushina would all get along very well.
4: Uchiha Shisui is currently tied with Pein for my second favorite Naruto character of all time. (It should be pretty obvious that Sakura is number one on my list.) I just love them to death even though they're such polar opposites.
5: Out of all the stories I've read, my favorite portrayals of Itachi are the ones (in the regular ninja-verse) where he is the very definition of Socially Retarded - with both the capital "S" and the capital "R". For an excellent example of this, I suggest reading "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" by odmonkey.
6: I love the Akatsuki to death, especially when they're all acting like moronic children while Pein sits on the sidelines with a raging headache. Refer to the previous one on this list for an example.
7: I also love Madara. I prefer the Tobi-is-Madara stories over the Tobi-is-Obito-pretending-to-be-Madara-pretending-to-be-Tobi ones, even though it's already been revealed that the latter is true.
8: I love Kimimaro, too, even though he got like three episodes of screen time. If you've been paying attention, you'll notice that most of the characters I love are either the violent Do-As-I-Say-Or-I'll-Destroy-You females or the idiotic and/or insane bad guys.
9: I think Kiba and Ino belong together, as do Kakashi and Anko. It just works.
10: Karin needs to go die a horrible, horrible death (because let's face it: she's a lot worse character-wise that Sakura ever was pre-Shippuden). Unless the fanfic I'm reading portrays her as more like Ino instead of a shameless whore, in which case she's cool and deserves to get a Happily-Ever-After with Suigetsu. But in every other story, she needs to die. Maybe Konan could kill her - Konan's pretty badass, after all.
FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA: Naruto, Fairy Tail, No. 6, Soul Eater, Blue Exorcist, Itsuwaribito, Aron's Absurd Armada, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Full Metal Alchemist, Bleach, Deadman Wonderland, Devils and Realist, 1/2 Prince, Black Bird, Kimi ni Todoke, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Reimei no Arcana, Alice in the Country of Hearts/Clover/Joker, Crimson Empire, Dictatorial Grimoire, Black Butler, Barajou no Kiss, Hana to Akuma, Akuma to Love Song, Strobe Edge, Dengeki Daisy, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Ouran High School Host Club, Millenium Snow, Hapi Mari, Kamisama Hajimemashita, Oresama Teacher, Black Blood Brothers, Vampire Knight, Tsubasa Chronicles, S.L.H. - Stray Love Hearts!, Death Note, InuYasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, Elfen Lied, Black Cat, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Poke'mon, SonicX, and Code Lyoko. (Are those last two even anime? I don't think so.)
FAVORITE OTHER MEDIA: The Harry Potter series, the Resident Evil series, The Matrix series, the Lord of The Rings series, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, the Halloween series, Scooby-Doo!, Courage the Cowardly Dog, the Terminator series, Doom, Halo, Sypro the Dragon, The Legend of Zelda, the Star Wars series, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, True Blood, Dexter, the James Bond series, the Ace Ventura series, the X-Men series, Dark Shadows, The X-Files, the Alien series, the Predator series, the Die Hard series, and basically any type of rock/metal/alternative music. And Japanese music.
FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME:
“THAT is what you stepped it, THAT'S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! Let me run that back for you: mlap ruoy no noisarba eht snialpxe taht dna, eohs ruoy no saw tahw s’taht, ti deppets uoy tahw si taht! THAT is what you stepped it, THAT’S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! DAMN, I’M GOOD!! Can you feel that?! Huh?! Can you feel that Captain Compost?!” – Ace Ventura from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
FAVORITE OTHER QUOTES:
"Look how much done I have this thing." -me (Trying to say, "Hey, look how much of this thing I've done today!")
"Then he started throwing up, and it was awesome!" -my amazing friend Courtney
"I promised not to tell, but my fingers were crossed, so I'm wide open." -Dr. House from "House M.D."
Guy Behind the Counter: "I need to see your faculty identification card."
"I gotta jar of dirt! I gotta jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 2
"Oh. Not good." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates
"How soon can we set off?"
"You are not my captain!"-to Elizabeth-
"You haven't raised an alarm."
"James Norrigton, do you fear death?" -gets stabbed- "I take that as a 'no'." -Davy Jones from Pirates 3
"Do you fear death?"
"I once sailed with a geezer. Lost both of his arms and part of his eye."
"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." -Hermione from Harry Potter/Order of the Phenox
-POW!- "I needed that." -POW!- "I needed that, too." -POW!- "You're pushing your luck, Scoob!" -Shaggy from Scooby Doo 2
"I saw him through the window and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." -Alex from Home Alone 3
"Dog?! Where?!" -Scooby-Doo from Scooby-Doo/Zombie Island
"I'm really starting to hate you, Kenji. You've been trying to kill us since the start of this damn movie." -Carter from Rush Hour 3 (blooper)
"I'm Juan Toa's brother! I'm Blackinese!" -Carter from Rush Hour
"I don't know what the hell you're feeding him, but he is too damn big!" -Carter from Rush Hour 3
"This is Madness!"
"I'm looking for a man named Ace Ventura." "We do not go by names here." "Erm, he's American." "We do not descriminate by such titles." "He likes to talk through his rear." "...oh. Him." -Greenwall and a monk from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" -Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emporer
"A brief shinning moment, and then that mouth." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"Eyebrows; there should be two." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"If you screw with me, I'll screw you right back!" -Mia from Vampire Academy
"I'm no ordinary pervert! I'm a MEGA PERV!" -Jiraiya from Naruto episode 54
"And if anyone--ANYONE--tried to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they were never born. And if they tried to run, I would hunt them down." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality
"I'm sorry. What was the question? I was too distarcted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your big trap." -Victor from Miss Congeniality
"With all this foil in my hair, I'm getting HBO." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality
"What? No armored car?"
"I'm sorry, whoever you are, but this line is reserved for emergency calls only."
"Damn Hamster! Stay still, Spiderboy!" -John Maclain from Live Free or Die Hard
"Wow...I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it from someone with...hair." -Mattew from Live Free or Die Hard
"Asshole?! I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!" -John Maclain from Die Hard
"I know where you live. If you're not well on your way to becoming a vet in the next six months, I'll kill you." -Tyler from Fight Club
"Yeah yeah, I got it! No wait, I lost it." -Tyler from Fight Club
"Pardon my French, but Camron is so tight that if you stuck a piece of coal up his ass, in a few weeks you would have a diamond." -Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller's Day Off
"Rescue her? How many of you are here? Seven? Maybe eight?"
"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto
"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto
“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.” -anonymous
“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” -anonymous
“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” -anonymous
"Thanks. Now that you've endorsed me and my family, I can finally get on with my life. It's the only thing that's been holding me back." -Christian Ozera from Shadow Kiss
"Jerks. Oh, hey. Doughnuts." -Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss
"I've hardly seen you at all since we got back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."
"I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair, boy!" -Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hadgrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" -Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
"What's he doing?!"
"In case you haven't been keeping up on current events, we just got our asses kicked, pal!!" -Hudson from Aliens
"What do you mean they turned off the power?! How could they turn off the power?! They're animals!" -Hudson from Aliens
"Is he dead?"
"I'm giving you a choice. Now put on the glasses or start eating that trash can." -Nada from They Live
"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...And I'm all out of bubblegum." -Nada from They Live
"Darlene, what do you mean you don't take bubble baths?"
Me: -holds out a turkey sandwhich with bagel slices instead of buns- "Hey, Austin, smell this."
Kirby: "Um, Miss Freeman, what if we were to - hypothetically, of course - uh, not do the work?"
Miss Freeman: "Alright, guys; good news: you've got an in-class essay today."
"How could you do this to us, Emmy?!" "It's all your fault!" "You're so mean!" "I can't believe you, Emmy!" "I'm gonna go kill myself now, and it's all because of YOU!" "WHAAAA!! -crying-" "Emmy, why are you so cruel?!" "WHY, GOD, WHYYYYY?!" "Hey, Emmy!!" "Guess what, Emmy!" "I like that movie, too!" "I know, right?!" "The one with that one guy that does that one thing at that one place!!" "Seriously!!" "Emmy's amazing horse tastes just like raisons!" "Give it a lick --MM! Tastes just like raisons!" "Seventy-four!" "I know, right?!" "God, Emmy! You're so mean!" -Me and my friend Billy screwing around in Algebra II class and scaring our friend Emily :3
Me: "You know what the difference is between English and American?"
Me: "What are you gonna use for your quote in senior year?"
Me: "What did you write in my yearbook?"
Me: "Wanna sign my yearbook?"
Me: "Hey, Matthew, sign my yearbook!"
Racheal: "Hey, Steph, I wanna sign your yearbook!"
Matt: "Hey, Steph. We're learning about polyhydrants in geometry, but I don't get any of it. Can you, uh, help please?"
Billy: "Hey, Coach G; I was on the computer last night and--"
Grandpa: "Girls, go out and start picking rocks out of the yard. You can put 'em in these buckets" -gives them buckets- "Then you can dump them by the creek."
Mom: "Steph, go get the keys from your dad. It's too hot out here."
Me: "Emmy, your face is red."
Me: "What are they doing?"
Billy: "Where are you planning on going to college?"
(After having a long conversation about some poorly-written story in which a character is masturbating like a mad-man and there is much creepy child-porno)
(At a restaurant called Dick's Last Resort - the most AMAZING place on the face of the earth.)
(Standing in line to pay our bill at a Mexican restaurant, except there's nobody at the counter to pay.)
(When my friend Amy and I go to visit our old high school teachers while they're in the middle of class.)
(While Amy and I were still visiting our old high school teachers)
Mom: -suddenly walks in- "Kathy (our neighbor) just drives my ass crazy."
(While the family is getting together to celebrate my cousin Brandon's high school graduation at his grandmother's house.)
Mom: "We called Bobby over to paint our bathroom a couple weeks ago, and he did an amazing job."
Baby Cousin Skylar: "Kenny, can you light this?" -holds out half of a sparkler-
NARUTO SPOILERS (sort of)*
(While watching an episode of X-Files in which a girl is being followed by a dead guy that was a father figure to her)
See which Akatsuki member you are the most like
[Pein Score: 4]
[Konan Score: 3]
[Itachi Uchiha Score: 3]
[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 7]
[Sasori Score: 4]
[Deidara Score: 5]
[Kakuzu Score: 2]
[Hidan Score: 4]
[Zetsu Score: 6]
[Tobi Score: 1]
[Orochimaru Score: 5]
See which Team Seven member you are the most like
[Naruto Score: 1]
[Sasuke Score: 4]
[Sakura Score: 5]
[Kakashi Score: 2]
[Sai Score: 5]
[Yamato Score: 4]
- by me
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Shizuku Oite Hana Pics:
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Any and all fanart would be greatly appreciated and will earn the artist a one/two-shot. :D
The lovely ya-cho has translated Simplicity into Vietnamese! Check it out !
And the awesome eragon456 will be using Higurashi ga Naku Akazu no Mori e from my poetry!fic Madness and Magic in one of her future fics!
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