PeinSaku
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Joined 03-03-08, id: 1515753, Profile Updated: 01-27-15
Author has written 27 stories for Naruto, Harry Potter, Higurashi/Umineko series, and Death Note.

NEWS AS OF 1/15/15:

Simplicity has been updated! Also, Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians is currently being rewritten. The plot is basically the same, but a LOT is being changed, and the writing, grammar, characterization, etc. will be much better than it is now. It'll also incorporate a whole lot more from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, which is when my fic takes place. And lastly, once I've gotten a bit further into Simplicity, I'll start posting some new stories I've been working on in my free time.


NAME: Stephanie

NICKNAMES: Steff, Steph, Steffie, Tiffy, Rogue, Ernie, Poison Ivy, KoolKittyKat, You With The Face, Cousin Itt, Stripe, Tushi-face, Katora, Koura, Kat... Will add more once I've been named yet again. Call me whatever you like! :)

AGE: 20 (as of 7/27/14)

DEVART ACCOUNT: RoseHathaway

YOUTUBE: PeinSaku

FACEBOOK: PeinSaku (Tell me you're from FF.Net if you want to add me.)


ABOUT ME:

1: I depise "txt talk" and "Jersey Shores" lingo. Whenever you see something to the effect of "Um, like, no. Not happening. He totally saw her first. So, there." in one of my stories, you can identify this as one of my attempts (note: attempts) at being funny. It usually indicates crack moments, which you'll find I insert a lot. Some of my friends and I talk like that sometimes because we think it's hillarious that people do that — not trying to hurt anyone's feelings; just our opinion. (I also HATE rap music.)

2: Even though I have all this boring crap about myself on here, I don't think any of you really know me. So, this is my sad, sad try at helping you all understand:

My friends and I are the "other guys" at school. We're the group that get on people's nerves because we laugh and yell so loudly about hillarious crap that no one else finds funny. We can practically read one another's minds, and we've all got a good sense of humor — or, at least, I think so. (For example, we find amusement in weaving completely crack-filled stories about how this older-than-dirt science teacher at our school is going to come busting through the ceiling one day in an Iron Man suit and engage in Mortal Kombat with an English teacher, then climb back up to her classroom on the second floor like the creepy old angel-lady from "Legion".) We're the ones that do actually tackle our friends in flying-rape hugs in the hallway and cafeteria like characters do in crack!-fics. We're like one big family, and most of us don't give a crap about what other people think about us; we typically give each other really rude or weird nicknames (one of my friends is "Whore", and another is "Steven The Future Surgeon"). We make up our own words, we have the times of our lives, we bust our asses laughing about things like Neon Genesis Evangelion Abridged,and we stick together through thick and thin. We just...well, we do whatever the heck we want, no matter how big a fool we make of ourselves. Teachers, except for the occasional few, always seem to like us for some reason, though... Confusing.

3: I'm an 80's kid through and through. All I ever wear is concert t's, old black jeans, and tennis shoes. My pajamas are concert t's that are filled with so many holes that my mom has banned me from wearing them in public and sweatpants stained with paint from when we were painting rooms in the house. I absolute despise the color pink (except on Sakura from "Naruto"...no clue why), dresses, skirts, and make-up. I carry a wallet instead of a purse because purses are freak'n weird, and I have only just recently acquired my driver's license. Sure, I'm old enough to have gotten it years ago, but I'm the person that'll go on pedestrian road rage. (Two points for every person, Five points for every person walking a dog, and Ten points for every person I know and don't like!) Whenever someone drives really slow or does something stupid out on the road, both my mom and I start yelling at them like they can hear us. I don't like talking on the phone; it's just...awkward.

4: I'm not your "OH EM GEE, A NEW SHADE OF NAIL POLISH! EEEEEE!!" kind of spazz. I'm more of the "HOLY HELL ON A BRIGHT YELLOW POGO STICK. I JUST HAD THIS EPIC VISION OF US MAKING IDIOTS OUT OF OURSELVES. LET'S GO GET KICKED OUT OF AN APPLEBEES!" type. All of my friends and I tend to talk very loudly when we get excited, and when we do... Well, we go all-out.

5: Whenever I'm writing an author's note and I suddenly change subjects, it's because my mind has decided to go all "OH MY SWEET LEMON-FLAVORED CHICKEN ON A STICK. IDEA! IDEA!" That's my psycho spazz-ness rearing its ugly head. I don't have a short attention span; I just have a short "I'm interested in this current subject because it's not boring even though it really is" span. Yeah. Anyways.

I... Well... Yes. I hope you all have a better grip on my mind-set (or lack thereof, as I've also been told). So. Questions? 8D


10 THINGS YOU PROBABLY CAN'T TELL ABOUT ME FROM MY WRITING:

1: I don't hate Sasuke. No, really - I don't. I very deeply disliked him for a while, but he's redeemed himself over the years, and I kinda like him again. It's just... Well, he's really easy to write as a bad guy and an arrogant douchepickle. In fact, I find it pretty funny when I do. But I don't hate him at all.

2: I like Anko. A lot. She's one of my favorites, and I just love making her a sadistic bitch that crushes everyone beneath her heel.

3: I like Rin, too. I like to picture her (and Tenten) as the kind of girl that smiles very sweetly before she completely destroys someone and subjects them to her nonexistent mercy. I imagine they, Sakura, Anko, Tsunade, and Kushina would all get along very well.

4: Uchiha Shisui is currently tied with Pein for my second favorite Naruto character of all time. (It should be pretty obvious that Sakura is number one on my list.) I just love them to death even though they're such polar opposites.

5: Out of all the stories I've read, my favorite portrayals of Itachi are the ones (in the regular ninja-verse) where he is the very definition of Socially Retarded - with both the capital "S" and the capital "R". For an excellent example of this, I suggest reading "Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting" by odmonkey.

6: I love the Akatsuki to death, especially when they're all acting like moronic children while Pein sits on the sidelines with a raging headache. Refer to the previous one on this list for an example.

7: I also love Madara. I prefer the Tobi-is-Madara stories over the Tobi-is-Obito-pretending-to-be-Madara-pretending-to-be-Tobi ones, even though it's already been revealed that the latter is true.

8: I love Kimimaro, too, even though he got like three episodes of screen time. If you've been paying attention, you'll notice that most of the characters I love are either the violent Do-As-I-Say-Or-I'll-Destroy-You females or the idiotic and/or insane bad guys.

9: I think Kiba and Ino belong together, as do Kakashi and Anko. It just works.

10: Karin needs to go die a horrible, horrible death (because let's face it: she's a lot worse character-wise that Sakura ever was pre-Shippuden). Unless the fanfic I'm reading portrays her as more like Ino instead of a shameless whore, in which case she's cool and deserves to get a Happily-Ever-After with Suigetsu. But in every other story, she needs to die. Maybe Konan could kill her - Konan's pretty badass, after all.


FAVORITE ANIME/MANGA: Naruto, Fairy Tail, No. 6, Soul Eater, Blue Exorcist, Itsuwaribito, Aron's Absurd Armada, Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion, Full Metal Alchemist, Bleach, Deadman Wonderland, Devils and Realist, 1/2 Prince, Black Bird, Kimi ni Todoke, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Reimei no Arcana, Alice in the Country of Hearts/Clover/Joker, Crimson Empire, Dictatorial Grimoire, Black Butler, Barajou no Kiss, Hana to Akuma, Akuma to Love Song, Strobe Edge, Dengeki Daisy, Akagami no Shirayukihime, Ouran High School Host Club, Millenium Snow, Hapi Mari, Kamisama Hajimemashita, Oresama Teacher, Black Blood Brothers, Vampire Knight, Tsubasa Chronicles, S.L.H. - Stray Love Hearts!, Death Note, InuYasha, Rurouni Kenshin, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, Elfen Lied, Black Cat, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Poke'mon, SonicX, and Code Lyoko. (Are those last two even anime? I don't think so.)

FAVORITE OTHER MEDIA: The Harry Potter series, the Resident Evil series, The Matrix series, the Lord of The Rings series, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, the Halloween series, Scooby-Doo!, Courage the Cowardly Dog, the Terminator series, Doom, Halo, Sypro the Dragon, The Legend of Zelda, the Star Wars series, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Big Bang Theory, The Mentalist, True Blood, Dexter, the James Bond series, the Ace Ventura series, the X-Men series, Dark Shadows, The X-Files, the Alien series, the Predator series, the Die Hard series, and basically any type of rock/metal/alternative music. And Japanese music.


FAVORITE QUOTE OF ALL TIME:

“THAT is what you stepped it, THAT'S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! Let me run that back for you: mlap ruoy no noisarba eht snialpxe taht dna, eohs ruoy no saw tahw s’taht, ti deppets uoy tahw si taht! THAT is what you stepped it, THAT’S what was on your shoe, and THAT explains the abrasion on your palm! DAMN, I’M GOOD!! Can you feel that?! Huh?! Can you feel that Captain Compost?!” – Ace Ventura from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

FAVORITE REAL-LIFE QUOTES:

"Look how much done I have this thing." -me (Trying to say, "Hey, look how much of this thing I've done today!")

"Then he started throwing up, and it was awesome!" -my amazing friend Courtney

"When I think about Ryan Gosling, I feel like he would smell like maple syrup." -a girl in my Creative Writing class

"Did you see the way they all looked at me? I feel like a storm trooper in a room full of rebels! No... I'm the rebel...in a room full of storm troopers!" -my equally amazing friend Shiannee

FAVORITE MOVIE QUOTES:

"I promised not to tell, but my fingers were crossed, so I'm wide open." -Dr. House from "House M.D."

Guy Behind the Counter: "I need to see your faculty identification card."
Horvath: -waves magic staff- "You don't need to see my faculty identification card."
Guy Behind the Counter: -hypnotized- "I don't need to see your faculty identification card."
Drake: "These are not the droids you are looking for." -from "The Sorcerer's Apprentice"

"I gotta jar of dirt! I gotta jar of dirt! And guess what's inside it!" -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 2

"Oh. Not good." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates

"You're mad!"
"Good thing, 'cause if I wasn't, this would probably never work." -Lord Becket and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"How soon can we set off?"
-ship falls apart- "Do think he plans it all out, or just makes it up as he goes along?" -Lord Becket and random crewman from Pirates 3

"You are not my captain!"-to Elizabeth-
"Who among you do you call 'captain'?"
-points at Elizabeth-"Captain!" -random Singapore crewman and Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"How's Mum?"
-holds up a shruken head-
"...sh-she looks great..." -Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"You haven't raised an alarm."
"I know. Strange, isn't it? But not as strange as this."
"I said to myself, 'think like Jack'."
"And this is what you came up with? Leave a trail for Becket to follow and betray all the pirates? It's like you don't know me at all, mate." -Wil Turner and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"James Norrigton, do you fear death?" -gets stabbed- "I take that as a 'no'." -Davy Jones from Pirates 3

"Do you fear death?"
"You have no idea..." -Davy Jones and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"I once sailed with a geezer. Lost both of his arms and part of his eye."
"What did you call him?"
"...Larry." -Jack Sparrow and Gibbs from Pirates 3

"Just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon." -Hermione from Harry Potter/Order of the Phenox

-POW!- "I needed that." -POW!- "I needed that, too." -POW!- "You're pushing your luck, Scoob!" -Shaggy from Scooby Doo 2

"I saw him through the window and he was wearing butt-inspection gloves." -Alex from Home Alone 3

"Dog?! Where?!" -Scooby-Doo from Scooby-Doo/Zombie Island

"I'm really starting to hate you, Kenji. You've been trying to kill us since the start of this damn movie." -Carter from Rush Hour 3 (blooper)

"I'm Juan Toa's brother! I'm Blackinese!" -Carter from Rush Hour

"I don't know what the hell you're feeding him, but he is too damn big!" -Carter from Rush Hour 3

"This is Madness!"
"This is polotics." -Elizabeth Swan and Jack Sparrow from Pirates 3

"I'm looking for a man named Ace Ventura." "We do not go by names here." "Erm, he's American." "We do not descriminate by such titles." "He likes to talk through his rear." "...oh. Him." -Greenwall and a monk from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls

"I hate mummies! They never play fair!" -Johnathon from The Mummy Tomb/dragon Emporer

"A brief shinning moment, and then that mouth." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"Eyebrows; there should be two." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"If you screw with me, I'll screw you right back!" -Mia from Vampire Academy

"I'm no ordinary pervert! I'm a MEGA PERV!" -Jiraiya from Naruto episode 54

"And if anyone--ANYONE--tried to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much, they'd wish they were never born. And if they tried to run, I would hunt them down." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry. What was the question? I was too distarcted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your big trap." -Victor from Miss Congeniality

"With all this foil in my hair, I'm getting HBO." -Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"What? No armored car?"
"That would be in my other dress." -Victor and Gracie Heart from Miss Congeniality

"I'm sorry, whoever you are, but this line is reserved for emergency calls only."
"No fucking shit, lady! Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza, here?!" -random police woman and John Maclain from Die Hard

"Damn Hamster! Stay still, Spiderboy!" -John Maclain from Live Free or Die Hard

"Wow...I know that tone, it's just weird hearing it from someone with...hair." -Mattew from Live Free or Die Hard

"Asshole?! I'm not the one that just got butt-fucked on national television, Dwayne!" -John Maclain from Die Hard

"I know where you live. If you're not well on your way to becoming a vet in the next six months, I'll kill you." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Yeah yeah, I got it! No wait, I lost it." -Tyler from Fight Club

"Pardon my French, but Camron is so tight that if you stuck a piece of coal up his ass, in a few weeks you would have a diamond." -Ferris Bueller from Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"Rescue her? How many of you are here? Seven? Maybe eight?"
"Five humans and a cat." -Ikkaku and Ichigo from Bleach

"A cute girl stopped me on the way, so I danced." -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

"Under my mask is...another mask! Pretty cool, huh?" -Kakashi Hatake from Naruto

“Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.” -anonymous

“If you laugh, I will laugh. If you cry, I will cry and if you jump out of the window, I will laugh.” -anonymous

“I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.” -anonymous

"Thanks. Now that you've endorsed me and my family, I can finally get on with my life. It's the only thing that's been holding me back." -Christian Ozera from Shadow Kiss

"Jerks. Oh, hey. Doughnuts." -Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss

"I've hardly seen you at all since we got back. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me."
"I am avoiding you." -Adrian Ivashkov and Rose Hathaway from Shadow Kiss

"I could tell you stories about your father that would curl even your greasy hair, boy!" -Mad-Eye Moody from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

"Follow the spiders? Follow the spiders?! If Hadgrid ever gets out of Azkaban, I'll kill him!" -Ron Weasley from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

"What's he doing?!"
"I think he's singing..."
"Yeah, I once heard an animal make that sound, but when they rolled him over he was dead." -three of the Amigoes from Happy Feet

"In case you haven't been keeping up on current events, we just got our asses kicked, pal!!" -Hudson from Aliens

"What do you mean they turned off the power?! How could they turn off the power?! They're animals!" -Hudson from Aliens

"Is he dead?"
"That's the problem. He was already dead to begin with." -kid and Ichabod from Sleepy Hollow

"I'm giving you a choice. Now put on the glasses or start eating that trash can." -Nada from They Live

"I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum...And I'm all out of bubblegum." -Nada from They Live

"Darlene, what do you mean you don't take bubble baths?"
"It makes my pooter sting worse than a swarm of bees." - Candi and Darlene from Waking Up In Reno

FAVORITE CONVERSATIONS:

Me: -holds out a turkey sandwhich with bagel slices instead of buns- "Hey, Austin, smell this."
Austin: -does so without question because he's used to all the weird crap we do- "What about it?"
Me: "Dude, this thing tastes like grape Kool-aid."
Austin: "What, seriously?"
Me: "Yeah" -gives it to him-
Austin: -takes a bite- "Holy shit, it does."
Me: "Somehow, I don't think a turkey bagel is supposed to smell and taste like grape Kool-aid. I don't even have grape Kool-aid in my house!"
Austin: "Maybe your mom's trying to poison you."
Me: "Yeah, probably."
(Because of this, we now have an inside joke: "So, have you sniffed the bagel lately?" and people stare at us 'cause it sounds like we're talking about drugs. XD)

Kirby: "Um, Miss Freeman, what if we were to - hypothetically, of course - uh, not do the work?"
Miss Freeman (English teacher): -glaring- "Do the work, or I'll move these desks apart, and it'll be WWE Smackdown in here."

Miss Freeman: "Alright, guys; good news: you've got an in-class essay today."
(Insert groaning.)
Kirby: "Come on, Miss Free-Free! Do we have to?"
Miss Freeman: "Yes, you have to."
Kirby: "But Miss Freemaaaan-"
Miss Freeman: "Guys, look: you are doing this essay whether you like it or not. I don't do this on purpose, you know. I don't wake up in the morning and think, 'I'm gonna ruin Kirby's day today' - and, frankly, is it too cold for me to be riding my broomstick to school."

"How could you do this to us, Emmy?!" "It's all your fault!" "You're so mean!" "I can't believe you, Emmy!" "I'm gonna go kill myself now, and it's all because of YOU!" "WHAAAA!! -crying-" "Emmy, why are you so cruel?!" "WHY, GOD, WHYYYYY?!" "Hey, Emmy!!" "Guess what, Emmy!" "I like that movie, too!" "I know, right?!" "The one with that one guy that does that one thing at that one place!!" "Seriously!!" "Emmy's amazing horse tastes just like raisons!" "Give it a lick --MM! Tastes just like raisons!" "Seventy-four!" "I know, right?!" "God, Emmy! You're so mean!" -Me and my friend Billy screwing around in Algebra II class and scaring our friend Emily :3

Me: "You know what the difference is between English and American?"
Matt: "There's not a difference; they're both English."
Me: "No they're not. In English if someone says 'Excuse me. I need to get through' it translates to 'Get the fuck out of the way!' in American."
Matt: "...Wow, you're right."

Me: "What are you gonna use for your quote in senior year?"
Austin: "Mm, I'm thinking maybe: 'You look like you were beaten with an ugly stick by a very hairy man'."
Me: "...I like it."

Me: "What did you write in my yearbook?"
Austin: "Read it and find out."
Me: "Alrighty. Let's see: 'I hate children and plan on beating them with an ugly stick in racoon form when babysitting' ..."
Austin: "Well?"
Me: "...niiiiice."

Me: "Wanna sign my yearbook?"
Spencer: "Yeah, sure." -signs it-
Andrew: "What'd he write?"
Me: "Hm, let me see... 'Thanks for the geometry help' ..."

Me: "Hey, Matthew, sign my yearbook!"
Matt: "Okay." -signs it-
Me: "Hey, uh, Matt; what's this say?"
Matt: "Oh, I marked out my last name and rewrote it."
Me: "...why?"
Matt: "...I kind of mispelled it."
Me: -points- "HAHAHA!!"

Racheal: "Hey, Steph, I wanna sign your yearbook!"
Me: "Alright." -gives it to her, she signs it- "Let's see... 'Dear Stephanie! You are one of my awesomest book buddies! If you ever need to borrow a book from me, I'm your girl! Anyone, I wanted to inform you that I am the first to sign your crack! XD Love! Racheal' Aw, thanks, Racheal!"
Racheal: "You're welcome!"
Me: "Just one thing, though."
Racheal: "What?"
Me: "You said 'anyone' instead of 'anyway'."
Racheal: "...shit. Just ignore it."

Matt: "Hey, Steph. We're learning about polyhydrants in geometry, but I don't get any of it. Can you, uh, help please?"
Me: "Polyhydrants? Don't you mean polyhedrons?"
Matt: "That's what I said; Pathagoreans."

Billy: "Hey, Coach G; I was on the computer last night and--"
Coach G (Mythology teacher): "Were you looking up porn?"

Grandpa: "Girls, go out and start picking rocks out of the yard. You can put 'em in these buckets" -gives them buckets- "Then you can dump them by the creek."
My aunt when she was younger, standing with my mom and my other aunt: "Ah, come on, Dad; we wanna go over to (insert whatever her name was)'s!"
Grandpa: "You damn girls think Manual Labor is the dictator of Mexico! Get to work!"

Mom: "Steph, go get the keys from your dad. It's too hot out here."
Me: -walks over to my dad- "Mom wants the car keys 'cause it's too hot outside. You're taking too long looking at all the plants."
Dad: "She's got her own keys."
Me: "They're in the car."
Dad: "That's too bad. I'll be over there soon."
Me: -walks back to my mom- "Mom, Dad's being a jerk again and he won't get me the keys."
Mom: "Mark, give us the keys!"
Dad: "You'll get them in a minute!"
Mom: "First you won't give me a pool, and now you won't give me the car keys! You're being a jerk!"
Dad: "Jerk? I'm not a jerk, you liar."
Mom: "No, you're the liar; you promised me the pool!"
Dad: "I did not!"
Mom: "You did too!"
Dad: "No I didn't!"
Mom: "Just give me the damn keys!"

Me: "Emmy, your face is red."
Emily: "It is?"
Me: "Yeah."
Emily: "Really? I can't see it."

Me: "What are they doing?"
Emily: "Upgrading the software on their graphing calculators."
Me: "Man, I want my software upgraded."
Billy: "Hey, baby -- I'll stick my flash drive in your port."
Me: "Unidentified device detected."
Billy: "Rape?"

Billy: "Where are you planning on going to college?"
Me: "Well, I got a letter from Yale, so I'm hoping that I qualify for Vanderbilt."
Billy: "Vanderbilt? Heh, I wish I was smart enough to go there. I'm just a potato sliding along a trail of melted butter."

(After having a long conversation about some poorly-written story in which a character is masturbating like a mad-man and there is much creepy child-porno)
Courtney: "And then he was all like, 'GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BEDROOM'."
Me: "HOLY SHIT, MAN, THAT'S HILLARIOUS."
Our Bus Driver: "Girls, keep it clean."

(At a restaurant called Dick's Last Resort - the most AMAZING place on the face of the earth.)
Waiter: "So, we've got all this alcoholic goodness on the back of the little menu here. We've got this, and this, and -"
Dad: "That's alright. I have to drive us home, so I won't be drinking today."
Waiter: "Dude. Shut up. I don't care. We've got this, too, and this..."

(Standing in line to pay our bill at a Mexican restaurant, except there's nobody at the counter to pay.)
Mom: -turns to the woman beside her- "Well, maybe it's a freebe."
Woman: "Are you here with the democrats?"
Mom: -points at the rest of us- "No, ma'am. I'm with the inbreds at that table over there."

(When my friend Amy and I go to visit our old high school teachers while they're in the middle of class.)
Amy: -pulls out a huge spray bottle- "Well, I remember how you used to spray us with water all the time in class, so I brought you a new one - and it's jumbo sized, too!"
Mr. Cox: "Oh, thank you, Amy. I love it. You always were one of my favorites. Did I ever spray you?"
Amy: "Once, during a movie."
Mr. Cox: "I remember that now. I said something like, 'Isn't it just so refreshing,' right?"
Amy: "Yeah."
Mr. Cox: "Well, thank you, Amy, really. Now I can reach those little toads that sleep in the back of my room when I'm teaching at the front. I don't even need to get out of my desk to get the ones who sleep during movies, too!" -sighs- "You wouldn't believe the complaints I get from their parents when I spray them. They come down here and ask why I'm spraying their kids with water, so I tell them, 'Do you want to see the pictures I took of your daughter sleeping in my class?' Then they start asking, 'Why are you taking pictures of my daughter, you creepy man?,' so I tell them, 'Well, do you want to see them or not?' and they just change the subject because they can't argue with that." -shakes his head- "Honestly. I'm just spraying them with water. They act like it's acid or something - and I can't even spray the black girls anymore because they all start screaming about their hair!"

(While Amy and I were still visiting our old high school teachers)
Me: "Coach G!!"
Amy: "Coach G!!"
Coach G: "Hey! What are you two doing back here?"
Me: "We're going around to see all our old teachers -- except since it's finals week, Mr. Crook wouldn't let us in, so we snuck in through the art rom."
Coach G: "It's not like anyone actually checks your visitor's passes anyway. It's good to see you both!"
Amy: "We got something for you."
Coach G: -excited- "What, really?"
Amy: "Yeah." -pulls out a sheet of hot pink felt covered in glittery silver hearts-
Coach G: -cringes- "Is that felt?!"
Me: "We got it just for you!" -laughing-
Coach G: -flinching repeatedly- "...thank...you..." -takes it carefully and stuffs it in his pocket before shuddering- "You two...you're horrible..."
Amy: -pulling out zebra striped pink felt- "Wait, Coach G, we got you some more."
Coach G: "Oh God, no. This...this is enough. Ugh. You're both horrible." -walks away quickly before we can force him to take more-
(Coach G is actually afraid of felt, small birds, and giraffes -- the felt because he came into his classroom one day a few years ago, and someone had covered his entire desk with it. He says it scarred him for life. XD)

Mom: -suddenly walks in- "Kathy (our neighbor) just drives my ass crazy."
Me: "What happened?"
Mom: "I was outside working in the yard, and she came over and started up that, 'I get lonely during the day. Why don't you all ever come visit me?' And I told her, 'Well, Kathy, I've got a lot of yard work to catch up on. I work during the days, so I can only do this at night, and I don't have much time.' And she goes, 'Well, I get lonely, and you all need to visit. I don't get company very often, and I have nothing to do, and it just makes me so sad that Nick (our other neighbor's cat that Kathy hates) won't be coming over anymore.' And I thought to myself, 'You old bitch, you're the reason why he's on house arrest!" -walks out and slams the door-

(While the family is getting together to celebrate my cousin Brandon's high school graduation at his grandmother's house.)
Me: -petting a very friendly stray cat outside- "Isn't he just so sweet? Look, he just rolled onto his back! Aw, you want a belly rub?"
Cousin Ben: -petting the cat, too- "He is pretty friendly."
Me: "The nice cats are always gingers - have you noticed that? It's weird."
Uncle Kenneth: -opens the front door and frowns at us- "Leave that cat alone before it bites you, because they'll have to kill it and chop off its head to see if its rabid." -walks back inside without another word-

Mom: "We called Bobby over to paint our bathroom a couple weeks ago, and he did an amazing job."
Aunt Penny: "What color did you have him paint it?"
Mom: "Well, Mark swears it's coral, but Stephanie says it's orange."
Me: "It IS orange! BRIGHT orange! You'd have to be colorblind not to see it! The name on the paint splotch is Blazing Orange, for God's sake!"
Cousin Ben: "Hey, I'm colorblind."
Aunt Penny: "Well, you'll have to show it to us when we come over on Friday to catch up on The Walking Dead." -turns to Aunt Barbie- "You and Kenneth were over there a couple days ago, weren't you? Did you see their new bathroom color?"
Aunt Barbie: "Yeah. It was nice."
Uncle Kenneth: "It was horrid."

Baby Cousin Skylar: "Kenny, can you light this?" -holds out half of a sparkler-
Cousin Kenny: "What happened to your sparkler, Sky? The end of it is gone!"
Me: -points- "He left it over there in the grass when it fell off."
Cousin Kenny: "...you know what? I could light this on fire and see what happens. Here, hold my beer."

NARUTO SPOILERS (sort of)*
Amber: "I was so sad when Tsunade died!"
Me: "Oh, I know! I mean, she got ripped in half!"
Amber: "Wait...ripped in half...?"
Me: "...how far are you in the series?"
Amber: "She just went into a coma -- what do you mean she gets ripped in half?!"
Me: "Uh..."
Davie: -walks up- "What's wrong?"
Me: "Amber was talking about Tsunade getting killed..."
Davie: "Yeah! She got RIPPED IN HALF!"
Amber: "WHAT THE HELL!"

(While watching an episode of X-Files in which a girl is being followed by a dead guy that was a father figure to her)
The Girl on TV: "Sometimes I can even smell his cologne..."
Me: "And sometimes he kills people for me."
Dad: "And sometimes he farts, too. You haven't smelt a fart until you've smelt a DEAD man's fart."


See which Akatsuki member you are the most like

Pein
[X] -I am the leader/boss of a group, club, friends, etc.
[ ] -I have a piercing(s).
[ ] - My natural hair colour is red, ginger or auburn.
[ ] -My eyes are gray.
[X] -My closest friend is a girl.
[X] - I'm a very secretive person.
[X] - I like it when it rains.

[Pein Score: 4]

Konan
[X] - Most of my friends are guys.
[X] - Origami RULES!
[ ] - I know how to make at least 5 different origami objects.
[ ] - I love flowers!
] - My closest friend is a guy.
[X] - I don't like having my photo taken.
[ ] - I don't like water. Swimming etc.

[Konan Score: 3]

Itachi Uchiha
[ ] - My younger sibling(s) bother(s) me a lot.
[ ] - Many people find me attractive.
[X] - I'm quiet and very mature for my age.
[ ] - I don't actually like fighting, though I can fight.
[X] - I don't care what you think, Kisame is cool.
[X] - I'm the top of my class. Intelligence.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is black.

[Itachi Uchiha Score: 3]

Kisame Hoshigaki
[X] - Sharks are AWESOME!
[X] - I like gore :3
[X] - I dislike my own appearance. I'm ugly! :(
[X] - Underwater in the ocean is a beautiful scenery.
[X] - Once someone gets to know me, I'm a pretty nice person.
[X] - I'm the tallest of my friends who are the same gender.
[X] - I like water sports.

[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 7]

Sasori
[X] - I look young for my age.
[X] - Puppets are fascinating...
[X] - I'm very impatient.
[ ] - I hate that bitch, Sakura Haruno.
[ ] - My Grandma annoys me.
[ ] - I'm the smallest of my friends.
[X] - Loud noises/people annoy me.

[Sasori Score: 4]

Deidara
[X] - I'm an artist.
[X] - I like and appreciate art.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is blonde/dirty blonde.
[X] - I have blue eyes.
[X]- I'm the youngest in my group of friends.
[ ] - I hate Tobi.
[X]- I have a friend who hangs around and annoys me.

[Deidara Score: 5]

Kakuzu
[X] - I'm a saver, not a spender.
[ ] - My eyes are either green or hazel.
[ ] - I have had stitches.
[ ] - I hate Hidan.
[X] - Younger people (or children) tend to tick me off.
[ ] - I am the oldest in my group of friends.
[ ] - My skin is dark or tanned.

[Kakuzu Score: 2]

Hidan
[X] - I have a cussing/swearing problem.
[ ] - I hate Kakuzu.
[X] - I hate so many people and hate them so much, that I probably have my own hit-list.
[ ] - I am religious.
[X] - I am very strong-willed.
[ ] - I have cut myself on purpose before.
[X] - I'm very prone to accidents.

[Hidan Score: 4]

Zetsu
[ ] - I have a split personality. Two sides.
[X] - Nature is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm usually alone.
[X] - I don't mind the company of others.
[X] - I don't have many friends.
[X] - Tobi is not that bad.
[X] - I WON'T eat the veggies! Meat all the way, man!

[Zetsu Score: 6]

Tobi
[ ] - I'm always hyperactive.
[ ] - I have a particular person who I like to pester.
[ ] - People often mistake me for someone else or say I look like someone.
[ ] - I LOVE the colour orange.
[ ] - I'm rarely sad and always optimistic.
[X] - TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D

[Tobi Score: 1]

Orochimaru
[ ] - I'm attracted to younger people.
[X] - I have a very pale skin colour.
[X] - Snakes are AWESOME!
[ ] - I love/like Sasuke Uchiha.
[X] - Micheal Jackson is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm very motivated, nothing will stop me from reaching my goals.
[X] - People think I'm twisted or insane.

[Orochimaru Score: 5]


See which Team Seven member you are the most like

Naruto
[ ] - Orange. Hell to the yes.
[ ] - I'm a blond.
[X] - I could eat ramen every day.
[ ] - I have a pretty short attention span.
[ ] - I tend to get into a lot of trouble.
[ ] - I want to be somebody important one day. I want to make a difference.
[ ] - My inside voice is just as loud as my outside voice.

[Naruto Score: 1]

Sasuke
[ ] - I hate/fight with my siblings.
[ ] - My hair is black.
[X] - I dislike people in general.
[ ] - I have many admirers.
[X] - Tomatoes are the food of the gods.
[X] - My friends are annoying. (Or some of them, at least.)
[X] - If I'm not the best, then I'm not satisfied.

[Sasuke Score: 4]

Sakura
[ ] - I have green eyes.
[X] - Most of my friends are guys.
[X] - I'm not afraid to yell at and/or hit people who deserve it.
[ ] - I want to be a doctor/nurse/healthcare professional.
[X] - I'm stronger than I look.
[X] - My temper has a pretty short fuse.
[X] - I'm more intelligent than most of my friends.

[Sakura Score: 5]

Kakashi
[ ] - I have a lot of regrets in life.
[ ] - Punctuality isn't really that important to me.
[ ] - I'm the oldest of all of my friends.
[ ] - I can charm my way out of anything.
[X] - I am or want to be a teacher.
[X] - People look up to me.
[ ] - I enjoy reading literature of the mature variety.

[Kakashi Score: 2]

Sai
[X] - I don't really know how to react in emotional situations.
[X] - I'm bad at making friends.
[ ] - One of my closest friends or siblings has died.
[X] - People confuse me.
[X] - I like to draw/paint.
[ ] - I'm one of the newest members in my group of friends.
[X] - I have paler skin than most of the people I know.

[Sai Score: 5]

Yamato
[ ] - I'm a tree hugger.
[X] - My hair is naturally brown.
[X] - I'm very calm in stressful situations.
[ ] - I love architecture.
[X] - I'm not above intimidating people to get my way.
[X] - I respect my elders.
[ ] - I'm susceptible to flattery.

[Yamato Score: 4]


STORY PICTURES:

Simplicity Pics:

Sakura Bell Test Outfit - by me

Sakura, Sasori, and "Seigi" - by me

Sakura Time-Skip Outfit - by me

Shizuku Oite Hana Pics:

Sakura and Yahiko - by me

Sakura - by me

Sakura, Yahiko, and Satori - by me

Any and all fanart would be greatly appreciated and will earn the artist a one/two-shot. :D


The lovely ya-cho has translated Simplicity into Vietnamese! Check it out here!

And the awesome eragon456 will be using Higurashi ga Naku Akazu no Mori e from my poetry!fic Madness and Magic in one of her future fics!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Virtual Flames by MissyPlatina reviews
A blossoming internet (Tumblr) friendship soon develops into something more. Nalu. AU.
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 49 - Words: 111,598 - Reviews: 3829 - Favs: 1,128 - Follows: 1,347 - Updated: 5h - Published: 5/4 - [Natsu D., Lucy H.]
Captivity by Nicole4211 reviews
[Collab with LeosLady4ever] Forced into captivity, Lucy and Lyon struggle to survive, desperately seeking a way of escape while fighting to keep their hope alive. Alone, with only each other to turn to, the lines blur...
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,487 - Reviews: 182 - Favs: 125 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 8/15 - Published: 7/9/2014
Fate's Choice by leoslady4ever reviews
Dragon's have long depended on Fate to choose their mates, using the Mating Week to seek out their perfect match. Now though, a stubborn dragon slayer fights against the customs he was raised to believe in, and an unsuspecting mate pays the price. This fanfic is rated M for a reason, my lovelies. So if you're underage, heed the warning.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 25 - Words: 78,518 - Reviews: 886 - Favs: 711 - Follows: 1,072 - Updated: 8/4 - Published: 6/12/2013 - [Gajeel R., Lucy H.] Gray F.
A Fairy Tail Ending by Ice of the Kitsune's Fire reviews
When Lucy and Natsu fall into a magical book of fairy tales, the only way to get out is to go through each tale and achieve its happy ending. Who said it would be easy? NatsuxLucy
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 83,507 - Reviews: 1417 - Favs: 1,725 - Follows: 1,836 - Updated: 7/29 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Natsu D., Lucy H.
Unholy Matrimony by Nadine25 reviews
Marriage is a blessed union, bringing together two kindred spirits by way of an unbreakable bond... Or something like that... In which Sakura proposes, Itachi agrees, and chaos ensues. ItaSaku, SasuIno, NaruHina, and Shisui.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,870 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 69 - Follows: 131 - Updated: 7/14 - Published: 9/19/2013 - Itachi U., Sakura H., Sasuke U., Shisui U.
The Princess and the Pirate by LeeSUP reviews
Lucy Heartfilia, isolated and alone her entire life escapes from the evil clutches of her step-dad and finds herself aboard a pirate ship lead by none other than the notorious pirate Natsu Dragneel. An adventure ensues!
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 123,081 - Reviews: 1362 - Favs: 1,337 - Follows: 1,541 - Updated: 6/20 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Lucy H., Natsu D.
Queen of Fist by HRH-The-Otaku-Queen reviews
"I need you to help me with something," Sasuke said calmly, staring Sakura straight in the eye. She smiled and held out her hand for him to take. She knew he wouldn't take it, but the gesture had to mean something to her former teammate. "Whatever it is, Sasuke, I'll help you." "I need you..." He turned his head away and folded his arms. "To help me rebuild the Uchiha clan."
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 193,714 - Reviews: 2035 - Favs: 1,402 - Follows: 1,778 - Updated: 6/13 - Published: 6/22/2013 - [Sasuke U., Sakura H.] [Naruto U., Hinata H.]
Jaguar Batter by slexenskee reviews
Even though it had been a one-night stand on a mission thousands of miles from home, the idea of having the elf prince's child was not nearly as repulsive as the idea of once more coming back and telling him about it.
Crossover - Lord of the Rings & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 83,207 - Reviews: 843 - Favs: 919 - Follows: 1,147 - Updated: 4/20 - Published: 10/24/2010 - Legolas, Sakura H.
Haruno Halfway House by red-flower11 reviews
Halfway house: a place for former mental patients, convicts, or recovering addicts that helps them transition between confinement and the return to society. Sakura has her work cut out for her, especially with the new guy from prison and this alcoholic who won't get off her couch. Officers Kisame and Itachi are quite worried for her life. AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 18,429 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 151 - Follows: 207 - Updated: 2/4 - Published: 1/6 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
This Is Not My Cat by MissHoshigaki reviews
"This isn't even my cat," Sakura protested. It wasn't Sakura's fault that animals liked her. She was just returning from a late shift at the hospital when she found the cat sitting in front of her door, mewling to get in. What is Sakura to do when a huge, mysterious man shows up at her door? Modern day KisaSaku AU with a sprinkle of platonic ItaSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 25,388 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 306 - Updated: 1/20 - Published: 8/5/2014 - Sakura H., Kisame H., Itachi U., Akatsuki
Lucy's Fury by nikoneko123 reviews
They finally did it. Natsu and Gray have pushed her over the edge, and it's going to take a lot for her to forgive them this time. She was so angry she quit their team, and started to hang out with the Thunder God Tribe, who she discovers are not how they appear to be to the rest of the guild. Rated T for future violence and swearing. I DON'T OWN FAIRY TAIL!
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 51 - Words: 148,103 - Reviews: 686 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 603 - Updated: 1/13 - Published: 7/20/2014 - Lucy H., Laxus D., Bickslow, Team Natsu - Complete
Arrangement of a Lifetime by moomolie1709 reviews
He needed her to pose as his girlfriend, and she needed him to make her unfaithful ex jealous. But what began as a simple transaction between two business partners soon becomes more complicated than either of them could have ever anticipated. AU, Bellarke.
100 - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 55,451 - Reviews: 800 - Favs: 599 - Follows: 1,187 - Updated: 12/27/2014 - Published: 6/12/2014 - Clarke G., Bellamy B.
Love Lost Love by MissHoshigaki reviews
A selection of short AkaSaku one-shots written in modern day AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 8,940 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 12/11/2014 - Published: 8/10/2014 - Akatsuki, Sakura H.
Love At First Site by amehanaa reviews
Clicking that link, Lucy had fallen in love with someone who lived 2500 miles away.
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 68,031 - Reviews: 1389 - Favs: 1,112 - Follows: 684 - Updated: 12/2/2014 - Published: 6/27/2014 - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Complete
Gravity by Kaze and Kiba reviews
They say 'man makes plans and God laughs'. If that's true then God must derive a vast deal of entertainment from Haruno Sakura. Either that, or maybe he just hated her, she wasn't sure yet. Rated for language, ecchi-ness and eventual romance.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 44 - Words: 143,959 - Reviews: 1608 - Favs: 1,097 - Follows: 977 - Updated: 11/19/2014 - Published: 10/29/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Code Hanami by pyxislynx reviews
ItaSaku. With the help of sheer luck and an experimental genjutsu, Sakura managed to pass her ANBU exam. Unfortunately, her ANBU mentor was getting on her nerves in more ways than one. AU, non-massacre
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 55,614 - Reviews: 291 - Favs: 495 - Follows: 675 - Updated: 10/10/2014 - Published: 6/22/2011 - Sakura H., Itachi U.
Lord Charming by forthright reviews
CU. More than Sesshoumaru's pride took a blow when he lost his arm. He's in a delicate position... and desperate enough to seek the advice of a self-proclaimed expert. A clumsy romantic adventure told in 100-word snippets.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 529 - Words: 83,942 - Reviews: 13108 - Favs: 2,825 - Follows: 2,870 - Updated: 10/5/2014 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H.
From The Heart by leoslady4ever reviews
Sleeping Beauty's got nothing on him. A nasty spell - of the love variety - has knocked Lyon on his ass, and there's only one thing to do...wake him with a kiss. But what happens when a kiss from the girl everyone knows Lyon loves fails to wake him?
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 31,181 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 271 - Updated: 9/20/2014 - Published: 6/23/2014 - [Lucy H., Lyon B.] - Complete
This Sucks by Faust VII reviews
When (not really) evil villains capture (mostly)pure hearted heroes and force them to join their evil (mostly just odd) group. Wild Pairings("I think I love you"). Forgiveness("Die!"). Revenge("Pink or blue?"). "I think I'm going to regret this." Pein sighed as he looked at the bleeding Sasuke, the screaming Naruto, and the manically laughing Sakura.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 39,963 - Reviews: 305 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 806 - Updated: 8/16/2014 - Published: 12/16/2012 - Akatsuki, Team Seven
Soul Spirit by Deathsembrace137 reviews
When Lucy and Loke encounter a Lost Soul, it leads to Lucy ending up on the door step of one of Fairy Tail's least expected mages. Will their one night together turn into anything more? Originally a one shot. I revised and added to the first chapter, and this will now be a short chapter story. Pairing is BixLu
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,212 - Reviews: 391 - Favs: 611 - Follows: 706 - Updated: 7/29/2014 - Published: 4/14/2013 - Lucy H., Bickslow
Coercion by L.Pilz reviews
When put in trying conditions, will they be able to adapt? Or will they give in to coercion? Kisame and Sakura. Rated M for language, violence, sexuality.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 189,545 - Reviews: 598 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 592 - Updated: 4/7/2014 - Published: 11/15/2010 - Kisame H., Sakura H.
Cat'O'Nine Tails by Kaze and Kiba reviews
Sakura you are being sent undercover to capture Uchiha Itachi, and any other Akatsuki you come into contact with, while on your mission. Ha. Yeah right, just let me get my big net and ass kicking boots...What do you mean when you say 'Disguised as a cat?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 36 - Words: 138,667 - Reviews: 2577 - Favs: 1,763 - Follows: 1,733 - Updated: 4/6/2014 - Published: 3/7/2010 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Something About you by Rusala reviews
A shifty mission, a feeling that you were living a lie, a suspicious team, and an even more suspiciously nice Gajeel. Lucy had no idea what was going on but something, everything, just seemed off. LuxNa first, then LuxGa Setting: somewhere after grand magic games, I'm bad at summaries. Rated M for future langauge and future content.
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 34,574 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 3/3/2014 - Published: 11/18/2012 - Lucy H., Gajeel R.
Finders Keepers by Kaze and Kiba reviews
Little brother, if you don't take care of what's precious to you-you don't deserve to have it. Since you haven't learned your lesson, I will take her away from you. Sakura's in trouble when she catches Itachi's attention. M-language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 139,103 - Reviews: 1296 - Favs: 997 - Follows: 996 - Updated: 2/24/2014 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
Stay With Me by leoslady4ever reviews
Lucy had never considered a love with Laxus, until the day he died saving her life. Now, he haunts her thoughts with dreams of what might have been, and unable to move forward, she finds herself going back, learning everything she can about the man who, out of love, gave his life for her. Soon she realizes, his one sided love, may not be so one sided after all - W/ Deathsembrace137
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 19,143 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 238 - Updated: 2/20/2014 - Published: 7/5/2013 - [Lucy H., Laxus D.] - Complete
Stay With Me by Deathsembrace137 reviews
Lucy had never considered a love with Laxus, until the day he died saving her life. Now, he haunts her thoughts with dreams of what might have been, and unable to move forward, she finds herself going back, learning everything she can about the man who, out of love, gave his life for her. Soon she realizes, his one sided love, may not be so one sided after all - W/ Leoslady4ever
Fairy Tail - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 22,499 - Reviews: 130 - Favs: 298 - Follows: 183 - Updated: 2/17/2014 - Published: 7/9/2013 - Lucy H., Laxus D. - Complete
Love Thy Neighbour by kaze suzume reviews
"This belongs to you." She hissed at him, thrusting his older cousin towards him as if he were the guilty owner responsible for the misbehaving puppy that had just peed on her carpet. [oneshot] AU non-mass CRACK [slight ItaSaku]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,173 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 296 - Follows: 62 - Published: 2/1/2014 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Shisui U. - Complete
The Chakra Alchemist by Miss Comatose reviews
Transmuted into the heart of the Ishvalan War at the age of thirteen, Sakura must learn to survive in Amestris as she is forced to participate in the genocide. With no where left to go after the war, she is adopted by Roy Mustang and must continue forward, trying to find a way home among the chaos of the military and the Elric brothers. Parental Roy!
Crossover - Naruto & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 37,836 - Reviews: 245 - Favs: 395 - Follows: 517 - Updated: 1/28/2014 - Published: 4/5/2013 - Sakura H., Roy M., Jean H.
The Duty by Avium reviews
Gaara pinched the bridge of his nose, and muttered more to himself than anyone else, "I am not going to have a say in this, am I?" Set during the 4th Shinobi War. GaaSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 146,016 - Reviews: 1400 - Favs: 1,497 - Follows: 1,513 - Updated: 12/1/2013 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Gaara, Sakura H.
The Truth behind the Mask by elle6778 reviews
They thought that the marriage happened for all the wrong reasons. If only they tried to read the truth behind each other's actions, then perhaps they would see that they could have been happy together.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 145,512 - Reviews: 805 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 450 - Updated: 8/11/2013 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Deidara - Complete
Between the Walls by The Imperfect Me reviews
Maybe there's more between the walls of Pein and Sakura. In a modern world, Pein and Sakura suffer together in an asylum, discovering and revealing more of their crossed past together. Rated T PeinSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 34,969 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 8/10/2013 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Sakura H., Pain/Pein
cabbage patch by paws-bells reviews
ItaSaku Non-Massacre AU. Their story began long before anyone could realize it. The story of a little pink-haired girl child, and a stoic young boy.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 168,224 - Reviews: 2730 - Favs: 2,610 - Follows: 2,492 - Updated: 8/2/2013 - Published: 6/5/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Dragon's Guide To Claim Your Mate by BlackLynx17 reviews
What does a Dragon Slayer do when they've found their mate? Deny... then try and come up with an answer. Natsu's found his mate and has no clue on what to do, luckily for him though Igneel already saw this day coming and left behind a little gift for him, a guide if you so call it. If claiming your mate was so easy then everyone would be mated! Too bad it's not, good luck Natsu!
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 45,364 - Reviews: 1393 - Favs: 1,765 - Follows: 885 - Updated: 7/5/2013 - Published: 3/16/2013 - Lucy H., Natsu D. - Complete
The Course of a Year by Sakura478 reviews
For five years Itachi Uchiha didn't look twice at Sakura Haruno. But in the course of a year she will become everything to him. Itachi/Sakura. Itasaku. Non-massacre. The month of January was the first time that Itachi saw Sakura as her own entity instead of his brother's teammate It was also the month that she was mysteriously chosen for ANBU squad one. Non massacre.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 28,858 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 268 - Follows: 392 - Updated: 7/1/2013 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Lady Luck by paws-bells reviews
ItaSaku AU. Sakura had never thought that the practice of bringing home injured animals would carry such great impact to her relatively simple life. But then again, none of them had ever been Uchiha Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 21,371 - Reviews: 761 - Favs: 983 - Follows: 785 - Updated: 6/2/2013 - Published: 6/19/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Ambages of Resilience by Celtic Oak reviews
AU. After a devastating accident, the only option left is to pick up the shattered remains of life and to strive to piece them together. Yet resilience has its own agenda and the lost pieces of two broken people may just be found in each other.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 76,444 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 329 - Updated: 6/1/2013 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Gaara, Sakura H.
House Calls by Spoiled Sweet reviews
Always the Team Mom, Sakura opens up her home as a clinic for the hospital-phobic ninja of Konoha. At the same time, her relationship with Kakashi begins to evolve in a way she never expected. M for swearing and later content.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 262,803 - Reviews: 2924 - Favs: 3,133 - Follows: 1,807 - Updated: 4/21/2013 - Published: 8/2/2010 - Sakura H., Kakashi H. - Complete
Dawning by deleria reviews
After years of silence the Akatsuki are active again. Her allies uncertain, the Godaime sends two teams - one for a potential offensive strike and another for covert surveillance. Who would have guessed that Shikamaru and Sakura could fake it as newlyweds so well? ShikaSaku with early (one-sided) hints of SasuSaku. COMPLETE.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 102,059 - Reviews: 1061 - Favs: 1,521 - Follows: 1,121 - Updated: 4/9/2013 - Published: 10/15/2004 - [Shikamaru N., Sakura H.] - Complete
Contagious by rabid behemoth reviews
Konoha's citizens are being controlled by a virus, and it falls on Sakura's shoulders to save them. A double agent among the most hostile, unrepentant criminals in the world, she finds herself navigating between competing loyalties in a sea of moral uncertainty. But that's impossible for a faithful Leaf nin like Sakura. Loyalties aren't contagious...right? [Eventual ItaSaku]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 119,552 - Reviews: 276 - Favs: 328 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 3/31/2013 - Published: 1/16/2013 - Sakura H., Itachi U., Akatsuki, Team Seven - Complete
Catalyst by JinnySkeans reviews
"You left. You betrayed us. You left Konoha to burn. What makes you think I should trust anything you say?" Her words were challenging. His reply was soft. "You don't have a choice." AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 62,559 - Reviews: 386 - Favs: 445 - Follows: 486 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 3/22/2012 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Unbroken by princezsupastar reviews
When Sakura finds herself facing a rogue ninja, she never dreamed that she would end up fourteen years in the past. Trapped in a Konoha where she must hide her true identity, she runs into a familiar face, except he doesn't seem familiar at all.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 132,779 - Reviews: 1543 - Favs: 1,425 - Follows: 783 - Updated: 3/3/2013 - Published: 7/11/2012 - [Sakura H., Kakashi H.] Rin - Complete
Of Old Friends and Surfboards: Rewrite by EmpressOfEvilBunnies reviews
When the Akatsuki have to move to Florida, they need a place to stay. What better place than an old friend's of Kisame's? Rewrite of the original OOFAS.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 7 - Words: 18,897 - Reviews: 247 - Favs: 277 - Follows: 304 - Updated: 2/8/2013 - Published: 2/11/2012 - Akatsuki, Sakura H.
Possession by HawkofNavarre reviews
She didn't belong to him...yet.
Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 85,998 - Reviews: 1805 - Favs: 4,122 - Follows: 2,020 - Updated: 2/3/2013 - Published: 1/16/2011 - [Lucy H., Natsu D.] - Complete
Things you just don't talk about by Enodia reviews
""Do you enjoy sex?" Shikamaru asked bluntly. I just can't believe I'm talking about this, and with Shikamaru, of all people, Sakura thought." Sakura is in for a surprise. Or, rather, a series of surprises. Shikasaku. Lemon.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 118,175 - Reviews: 675 - Favs: 1,455 - Follows: 693 - Updated: 12/18/2012 - Published: 3/24/2012 - Shikamaru N., Sakura H. - Complete
Second Star to the Right by Rhianna-Aurora reviews
AU Captain Swan. Based on the path of the Tarot's Major Arcana. Every journey starts with a single step. Emma never left Killian up the beanstalk, instead, they went back to Storybrooke together. Now Emma's finding herself increasingly drawn to the infuriating pirate captain, and a series of events that neither one of them could have predicted has been set into motion.
Once Upon a Time - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 64,636 - Reviews: 1197 - Favs: 2,022 - Follows: 1,033 - Updated: 12/10/2012 - Published: 11/3/2012 - Emma S., Killian Jones/Captain Hook - Complete
Easy Like Sunday Morning by odmonkey reviews
For Sakura it had been an easy choice to return to the madhouse that was the Akatsuki Base. A collection of one shots documenting the many things that Sakura was sure she'd have to one day recount to a therapist. - Sequel to Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting! (I own nothing herein and am very open to inspiration!)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,838 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 267 - Updated: 11/8/2012 - Published: 10/17/2012 - Akatsuki, Sakura H.
Code Geass R3: A Noble Act by elle6778 reviews
Set after the events of R2. The United Federation of Nations faces a threat that shakes the fragile peace of the world. Two years ago, Zero saved them from a dictatorship, but that was then. Just as Kallen begins to wonder if this Zero has what it takes to be a savior, she encounters a flash from the past.
Code Geass - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 34,538 - Reviews: 157 - Favs: 129 - Follows: 199 - Updated: 10/11/2012 - Published: 9/2/2012 - Lelouch L., Kallen S.
Beauty and the Beast? You SO Screwed It Up by hereandgone reviews
Once upon a time, there was a cold-hearted Uchiha who pissed off a blonde Jinchuriki. He was cursed to live the rest of his life with a fugly orange mask on his face, unless he found a girl to fall in love with him. He had until a ramen cup expired...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,750 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 9/30/2012 - Published: 1/25/2010 - Madara U., Sakura H.
Amplify by Marsh of Sleep reviews
Between the two of them is a link. He wants to start a fight with her, though he can't tell if it's to attempt to dissolve their resonating side-effect or because he may or may not have PMS.
Soul Eater - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 136,152 - Reviews: 1036 - Favs: 1,568 - Follows: 740 - Updated: 9/26/2012 - Published: 3/6/2010 - Soul Eater, Maka A. - Complete
A Night in the Blue Orchid by Enodia reviews
Sakura is sixteen. Genma is on the hunt, Kakashi is worried, Shikamaru is amused and Asuma... well, Asuma is being the loyal friend as usual. That is, at least until that night that they all have to spend in the Hotel Blue Orchid on a mission...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,711 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 24 - Published: 9/16/2012 - Sakura H., Asuma S. - Complete
lessthanthree by moon strut reviews
"You kneed some girl in the ovaries, were sexually harassed by Sasuke, and then proceeded to duct tape him to the treadmill. How's that for a party?" IMs, text messages, and Facebook. Many things could go wrong.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 13,486 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 186 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting by odmonkey reviews
"It would have been difficult to say who was more unpleasantly surprised, Haruno Sakura or the five members of the Akatsuki, when she walked into the back-end of nowhere bar". Filthy words and sexy talk are all part of a day's work for the Akatsuki.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,804 - Reviews: 711 - Favs: 1,452 - Follows: 826 - Updated: 8/10/2012 - Published: 5/27/2010 - Akatsuki, Sakura H. - Complete
Look Underneath by Sakura's Unicorn reviews
Setting out on one of the most difficult missions of his life, Sasuke knew he'd need some highly skilled teammates. When the Hokage appointed Sakura and Karin to assist him, he had to wonder what she was thinking. Post-canon SasuSaku. One-sided SasuKarin.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,730 - Reviews: 1125 - Favs: 1,400 - Follows: 576 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Laying Claim by JanuaryEclipses reviews
SasuSaku. An ancient law in Konoha permits people from prominent clans to buy people who aren't from clans at all. Unfortunately, Sakura just refused to believe it until her mentor confirmed that, yes, she was now owned by Uchiha Sasuke.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 90,610 - Reviews: 3362 - Favs: 4,176 - Follows: 2,493 - Updated: 3/3/2012 - Published: 8/29/2006 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Wasted Days and Wasted Nights by Kaze and Kiba reviews
All she wanted was a dry bed and a warm drink...and then they walked in. A thank you fic for you super people who review my work "You know, Itachi, if you keep rolling your eyes like that they might stick that way and then your Sharingan will be useless"
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 18,125 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 526 - Follows: 398 - Updated: 2/24/2012 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Sakura H., Akatsuki
The Butterfly Effect by The Scarlett Ribbon reviews
There had been something like an understanding between them once, he thinks; the potential for something more. But with the memory of her shaking kunai and his maniacal laughter between them, neither can help but wonder if it is too late to go back.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 92,567 - Reviews: 601 - Favs: 721 - Follows: 366 - Updated: 2/17/2012 - Published: 11/8/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Long Way Home by the general girl reviews
Sakura finds Sasuke again in Wind Country five years after the war, when he is supposed to be dead and she is supposed to be beyond caring. Neither have been very good at meeting expectations. — SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 38,564 - Reviews: 784 - Favs: 1,224 - Follows: 433 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 5/22/2011 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Toy Soldiers by FearandLoathingXIX reviews
Collection of lighthearted shorts following the completion of 'Soldier'.
Mulan - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,472 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 140 - Updated: 12/26/2011 - Published: 4/8/2010
Heartbeat by Itaweasel-hime reviews
Nothing could possibly have prepared him for this. Girls were nothing but trouble, he decided quietly. Not that he would really have it any other way. Non-massacre.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 150,797 - Reviews: 1174 - Favs: 1,580 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 8/29/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Caller IDK by Orange Sherbet reviews
"Sir, is your refrigerator running?" "It was, but then I broke both it's legs." In which Ino and Sakura discover the joy of prank calling.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,761 - Reviews: 463 - Favs: 647 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 1/14/2011 - Sakura H., Ino Y. - Complete
Legendary by mademoiselle anna reviews
People pick up traits of their mentors. Naruto has a frogshaped wallet and a perverted jutsu. Sasuke has homicidal urges and a tendency to scare little boys. And I’ve suddenly become the Legendary Sucker and could really use a strong drink.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 22,380 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 313 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 6/27/2008 - Sakura H., Neji H.
Weakness by Kapootya reviews
Don't you sometimes wish Sakura wasn't so damn pathetic with such a cardboard personality? Me too. Here's my story of how two Uchihas help her find her full potential. Non-massacre.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 19 - Words: 97,374 - Reviews: 1055 - Favs: 990 - Follows: 1,007 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Sakura H., Itachi U.
Blisters on Her Feet by Annie Sparklecakes reviews
"I owe it to my team. I am going to CRUSH my competition, and take the title of Miss Konoha. It's your turn to look at my back - again!" CRACK. ShikaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 20,353 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 226 - Follows: 243 - Updated: 7/28/2011 - Published: 7/11/2009 - Sakura H., Shikamaru N.
Stolen Kisses by sinister banana reviews
In which Gui gets drunk and makes out with Prince. Disaster and a romantic plot ensue. Mwahaha.
ManHua/Chinese Comics/漫画 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 45,348 - Reviews: 328 - Favs: 390 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 7/27/2011 - Published: 12/27/2010 - 1/2 Prince/1/2王子 - Complete
Unspoiled by forthright reviews
Something goes awry during a trip through the Well, and Kagome is stranded in the distant past where she encounters a familiar face. When a very young Sesshoumaru decides to keep her, the consequences ripple through time. SK. COMPLETE.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 100 - Words: 167,228 - Reviews: 11225 - Favs: 7,266 - Follows: 3,317 - Updated: 6/13/2011 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H. - Complete
Ducks, Drakes and Ducklings by Wynth reviews
They were like ducklings: at first they were dependent on her, like she was a mother. Then they became men and started seeing her less like a mother and more like a lover. That's when all the trouble started. •GrimSakuUlqui / BLExNAR•
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 24,075 - Reviews: 101 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 186 - Updated: 5/18/2011 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Sakura H.
I Will Break You! by kisukebenihime reviews
MadSaku. Uchiha Corp just hired a new secretary for one of their sellers. Funny thing is, Madara doesn’t want one. Sakura’s ‘no-nonsense’ attitude just has to work; it has to! Watch the sparks fly as the two dominate personalities clash.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 29,040 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 228 - Follows: 228 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 1/26/2010 - Madara U., Sakura H.
The Way of the Wind by just enough reviews
ANBU Captain Uchiha Itachi had things well planned out, until a medic-nin with ridiculous hair went and made herself interesting. Sakura insisted she was just doing her job, but Itachi didn't quite see it that way. Non-massacre. Sakura/Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 158,542 - Reviews: 3780 - Favs: 5,604 - Follows: 2,369 - Updated: 1/20/2011 - Published: 3/17/2008 - [Itachi U., Sakura H.] Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Talking to a Wall by knobbly knees reviews
Because Shisui and Itachi are a tag team of sorts, Minato can't handle kids, Kiba likes redheads, and because Karin's in heat. Language Warning. Facebook Comedy Drabbles. AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,294 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 1/16/2011 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Minato N., Kushina U.
Always Running Out of Time by sasukes reviews
The clock is ticking. —SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 59,271 - Reviews: 355 - Favs: 318 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 12/16/2010 - Published: 3/14/2010 - [Sasuke U., Sakura H.] - Complete
sincerely but never yours by Alive In Wonderland reviews
SasuSaku - If you give fourteen people sixteen weeks to learn as much about each other as possible, what would you get? Drama. Hate. Love. One night stands. Tears. Joy. And awkwardness. ... Blame Anko. And Naruto. And Itachi. Actually... blame everyone.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 45 - Words: 445,563 - Reviews: 1989 - Favs: 912 - Follows: 378 - Updated: 11/25/2010 - Published: 11/25/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Object of Gossip by ZaKai reviews
Roy and Ed are sleeping together, and everyone knows it! Everyone... except for Roy and Ed. :Eventual RoyEd, Humor:
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 43,899 - Reviews: 989 - Favs: 822 - Follows: 985 - Updated: 10/24/2010 - Published: 9/5/2008 - Roy M., Edward E.
My New Roommate by Kapootya reviews
A mistake on a lease has caused a doctor and a lawyer to become roommates. Unfortunately neither of them want to live with the other and this is the story of how they try to make eachother's lives miserable for an apartment. Itachi/Sakura. Who will last?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 46,063 - Reviews: 589 - Favs: 928 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 9/5/2010 - Published: 7/10/2010 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Just Deal by Clockwork Mockingbird reviews
Okay, so I married this guy from a different country to stop a war. In the middle of making friends, making enemies, putting people in jail, pissing off his council, matchmaking, and getting kidnapped, I fell in love with him. Damn it all. SxS AU
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 74,352 - Reviews: 1430 - Favs: 1,780 - Follows: 710 - Updated: 7/10/2010 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Blue Romance by MistedVines reviews
AU There are four schools, each ruled by different students, Ino of Konohagakure, Gaara of Sunagakure, Sasuke of Otogakure and Itachi of Akatsuki. What happens when normal student, Haruno Sakura, gets thrown into the mix? Sakura/Itachi/Sasuke/Deidara/Sai
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 82,277 - Reviews: 652 - Favs: 664 - Follows: 591 - Updated: 5/28/2010 - Published: 10/15/2007 - Sakura H.
Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace reviews
One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,092 - Reviews: 834 - Favs: 901 - Follows: 875 - Updated: 5/23/2010 - Published: 7/9/2006 - Kisame H., Sakura H.
From My Heart To Yours by JkawaiiNeko reviews
Haruhi was the new girl in school when six handsome "commoners" get scholarships. Turns out she has a lot to learn about these boys and a little about herself along the way. Maybe, this poor little rich girl could even fall in love. HikaHaru AU
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,851 - Reviews: 162 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 144 - Updated: 4/28/2010 - Published: 2/7/2009 - Haruhi F., Hikaru H.
Soldier by FearandLoathingXIX reviews
In which Mulan fights, grows, and bruises far too easily: all a part of her journey to manhood. Sort of. Set during the training period of the 'Be a Man' musical number.
Mulan - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 42,827 - Reviews: 254 - Favs: 582 - Follows: 97 - Updated: 4/6/2010 - Published: 2/14/2010 - Complete
Sasuke Dolls by inkspot823 reviews
Shikamaru is watching as Sakura vents her frustration on some Home-made Sasuke dolls. But what effect will her frustrations have on the Sound Village?
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,017 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 152 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 3/13/2010 - Published: 1/19/2010 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Prisoners by Dashall reviews
Oneshot. "I did NOT run around like a headless chicken, I made well-planned tactical manouevres. KabuSakuSasu. SEQUEL TO DIPLOMACY.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,045 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/24/2010 - Kabuto Y., Sakura H. - Complete
Vespertine by Cynchick reviews
Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 117,376 - Reviews: 2135 - Favs: 3,166 - Follows: 1,093 - Updated: 2/22/2010 - Published: 3/25/2009 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Play My Song by SnowLion no Miko reviews
Hyuuga Neji. The name of the music star that makes girls scream dramatically and beg to have his children. That is, all girls except a certain one with pink hair. Odd... NejiSaku, AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 57,011 - Reviews: 517 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 8/1/2009 - Published: 12/10/2006 - Sakura H., Neji H.
Sasuke is a Moron by Natarie reviews
It started as many things are prone to: With a bet and the Akatsuki. Women are always right. Therefore, whatever happened, it was all his fault. One-Shot Crack
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,764 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 1,268 - Follows: 177 - Published: 6/21/2009 - Sakura H., Akatsuki - Complete
Serendipity by Annie Sparklecakes reviews
AU. She had been a 5 on the scale for too long: not pretty, not ugly, just Sakura. That was, until Kiba strolled into her life and proclaimed her a 10. But what’s the price to pay for beauty, and is it worth it? Sakura's not so sure.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 27,755 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 139 - Updated: 4/27/2009 - Published: 1/5/2009 - Sakura H., Kiba I. - Complete
Diplomacy by Dashall reviews
-OneShot- "You wrecked my shirt, and I can't see." Slight KabuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,516 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 9 - Published: 3/29/2009 - Kabuto Y., Sakura H. - Complete
A Family of Sorts by Guttersnipe reviews
Ch 7: Noticing Sasuke’s return, Suigetsu grinned easily, apparently not noticing how this situation looked from the other man’s view from the door, as he pulled on his pants and pointed at Sakura, commenting, “She’s good! She is good!” Team Hebi, SasuSaku
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 28,218 - Reviews: 125 - Favs: 218 - Follows: 166 - Updated: 3/20/2009 - Published: 1/3/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
Ripples by Yellow Mask reviews
Complete. AU from 309 onwards. Following a botched mission, Sakura is made a slave by Sound, a position that could very well alter the future…especially concerning a certain familiar missing-nin. SasuSaku.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,883 - Reviews: 4329 - Favs: 5,063 - Follows: 1,377 - Updated: 3/2/2009 - Published: 6/16/2008 - Sakura H., Sasuke U. - Complete
Take A Picture by Mewdu reviews
Talking to a random stranger that could have killed her in a second was probably not the smartest thing Sakura's ever done. Especially since this stranger is a member of the akatsuki. But she was having a bad day...HidaSaku
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,143 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 15 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Sakura H., Hidan - Complete
Age Of Consent by Lady Silvamord reviews
"Sasuke Uchiha, did you just sell me to your crazy older brother?" How Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto learn that stealing Christmas trees off the Interstate is not the way to go. With help from Law Enforcement Agent Itachi Uchiha, of course. ItaSaku AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 16,609 - Reviews: 339 - Favs: 1,172 - Follows: 231 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 12/31/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Vertigo by Cynchick reviews
Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 201,198 - Reviews: 1974 - Favs: 2,145 - Follows: 668 - Updated: 12/18/2008 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Deidara, Sakura H. - Complete
Love Lockdown by Lady Silvamord reviews
They say it takes a village to raise a child. Similarly, it takes the entirety of Akatsuki to help Itachi get the girl. ItaSaku, complete.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 66,700 - Reviews: 744 - Favs: 1,404 - Follows: 293 - Updated: 11/30/2008 - Published: 11/4/2008 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Babylon by BeautifulFiction reviews
Two years after retrieving his brother's body from the Gate, Edward Elric is still paying the price. Will his debt ever be repaid, or will it finally cost him everything? RoyEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 34 - Words: 268,304 - Reviews: 1005 - Favs: 1,193 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 10/25/2008 - Published: 7/17/2007 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
The Duty of an Alpha Male by perilouslips reviews
Kiba is convinced that 'clan leader' is a synonym for 'fun suck', but you gotta do what you gotta do. And what he's gotta do is find himself a lady. Problem? Well...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,015 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 127 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 10/4/2008 - Published: 3/11/2007 - Kiba I., Sakura H.
The Contentious Heart by elle6778 reviews
This is just another infiltration mission, right? Granted, Sakura's target is the Akatsuki, but there is still no reason for this conflict in her heart. Little does she know that Itachi is just as disconcerted. ItaSaku. Spoilers up to Manga Chapter 353.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 277,720 - Reviews: 2223 - Favs: 1,971 - Follows: 616 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 12/18/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H. - Complete
Twisted Hearts by Eternal fire1 reviews
“Marry me.” Kagome's eyes widened. “I…I don’t love you.” She said weakly. If Sesshoumaru could have laughed, he would have. “Stupid miko.” He said. “This is not about love. This is merely business. SessKag SM IK The rating is only for the ending
Inuyasha - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 175,384 - Reviews: 3606 - Favs: 2,270 - Follows: 912 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 5/1/2007 - Sesshomaru, Kagome H. - Complete
Miriam's Well by Aelibia reviews
What started out as a supposedly chance encounter turned into a rather disquieting experience at a resort, and then everything got turned upside down. Hidan and Sakura.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,147 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 350 - Follows: 134 - Updated: 7/27/2008 - Published: 3/8/2008 - Hidan, Sakura H. - Complete
The Once and Future Taiyoukai by RosieB reviews
The well was supposed to be stable. It was supposed to send her to Inuyasha. And it failed. Now, Kagome's even farther into the past and she must depend on a young Sesshoumaru, who has no idea of what their shared future holds. But neither does Kagome.
Inuyasha - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 189,403 - Reviews: 5505 - Favs: 6,530 - Follows: 2,050 - Updated: 6/29/2008 - Published: 9/14/2006 - Kagome H., Sesshomaru - Complete
Sakura's HearttoHeart Report by acceptedmisconceptions reviews
Sakura makes the most of her imprisonment with the Akatsuki by keeping notes on the criminals' behavior and actions. She also puts in some...personal imput. What happens when the report is found and read in a Akatsuki meeting? GIANT BLUSH.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,576 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 4/22/2008 - Published: 2/19/2008 - Sakura H.
Seven Days by SilverShine reviews
[Kakasaku] A mission gone awry lands two squeakyclean ninja in the Konoha Prison for a week. One cell. Seven Days. What could possibly happen? [Aside from the obvious throttling, of course. This is Kakashi and Sakura we’re talking about].
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 68,747 - Reviews: 1942 - Favs: 2,235 - Follows: 1,898 - Updated: 3/25/2008 - Published: 7/24/2006 - Kakashi H., Sakura H.
The Ramen KamiSama by UnderTheSkyy reviews
Everyone knows that Hokage's word is law, but when he takes his power abit too far by trying to get his enitre village to start worshiping noodles in broth, you know your in for one hell of a ride. crack, slight SasxSaku Partner To TheThornBush
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,652 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 22 - Published: 3/11/2008 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Marrow by DeGlace reviews
Kimimaro x Sakura. Because some things reach bone–deep.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 34,343 - Reviews: 1260 - Favs: 1,397 - Follows: 1,142 - Updated: 2/15/2008 - Published: 7/16/2006 - Kimimaro, Sakura H.
The Eccentric Files by Ren and Missa reviews
When Ino met her dream boy, it was on a bus to New York, and it took her several hours to learn his name and stop calling him 'Pinapple Head'. Sakura, on the other hand, literally ran into hers and got cake all over his shirt. Nice.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 71,190 - Reviews: 1151 - Favs: 1,739 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 1/21/2008 - Published: 4/16/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
The Thorn Bush by UnderTheSkyy reviews
Team Hebi takes the term 'Peeping Tom' to a whole new level. Finally, their big boy Sasuke is growing up and becoming a man, but this time they're gonna see first hand just how much of a 'man' he actually is. Crack, Oneshot, Sasuke&Sakura
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,668 - Reviews: 233 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 70 - Published: 11/19/2007 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
A Continuous Circle by JUCHKO reviews
Sakura accidentally stumbles upon the Akatsuki hideout and is forced to use a scroll that was for 'last resorts only'. The scroll takes her to the past, back before the massacre. Rated T just in case. ItachiXSakura Time travel. Sequel up: And the Circle Comes Round. Sister story to Kindred Spirits.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 106,089 - Reviews: 2323 - Favs: 1,219 - Follows: 404 - Updated: 8/15/2007 - Published: 6/28/2007 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
Juxtaposition by paws-bells reviews
ItaSaku Fate works in strange ways. It was a stroke of pure, dumb luck that she had managed to outwit him. Now she was going to experience first hand just how it would feel to have his undivided attention, whether she wants it or not.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 51,027 - Reviews: 809 - Favs: 1,008 - Follows: 1,035 - Updated: 8/3/2007 - Published: 1/25/2007 - Itachi U., Sakura H.
Acatsuki by Darkkinkachu reviews
Sir Leader gets fed up with Akatsukis inabilaty to catch the ninetailes. He does something awful to his underlines and some how Haruno Sakura has been dragged into it...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 16,962 - Reviews: 324 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 99 - Updated: 5/15/2007 - Published: 10/24/2006 - Sakura H. - Complete
Inamorato by firefly reviews
Nobody told Tobi that out of all the calendar holidays, Valentine’s Day was the last one to be passionately celebrated in the company of seven homicidal men. Crackfic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,086 - Reviews: 1551 - Favs: 3,745 - Follows: 381 - Published: 4/10/2007 - Obito U./Tobi, Deidara - Complete
Not Weak by BlackElement7 reviews
When Sakura's team refuses to help her and calls her weak, what will happen? Especially when somebody shows up and offers to train her. [SakuIta]
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,488 - Reviews: 871 - Favs: 871 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 4/3/2007 - Published: 2/2/2007 - Sakura H., Itachi U. - Complete
Caffeinated Beginnings by Canned.Laughter reviews
In which Haruhi embarks on a romance without even realizing it. A not very obvious tale of love between our beloved heroine and a Hiitachin. But not the one you'd expect. Complete.
Ouran High School Host Club - Rated: K - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,394 - Reviews: 168 - Favs: 449 - Follows: 63 - Updated: 1/28/2007 - Published: 1/16/2007 - Haruhi F., Kaoru H. - Complete
Full Circle by Nike Femme reviews
Edward Elric returns with amnesia. He has lived the past four years as Auric, a Gatekeeper. But there are some battles that only he can fight. Will his friends be able to awaken Ed, and what happens to Auric if they do? RoyEd. Eventually.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 36 - Words: 144,252 - Reviews: 1476 - Favs: 2,331 - Follows: 422 - Updated: 7/12/2006 - Published: 2/4/2006 - Edward E., Roy M. - Complete
Switched! by Minnionette reviews
It all began with an evil statue that switched their bodies. Now, physically weaker, Naruto has to cope with girlbonding and PMSing. That’s not nearly as bad as Inner Sakura and the ninetailed fox refusing to get along semipeacefully.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 59,887 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 634 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 3/24/2005 - Published: 2/22/2004 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
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Simplicity reviews
She is the girl that has no heart, and he is the man that unknowingly stole it. "You will become my tool. You will fight for me, aid me when I call upon you. And in exchange, I will ensure that you become the most widely-revered kunoichi of your time."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 120,235 - Reviews: 1041 - Favs: 1,221 - Follows: 1,348 - Updated: 1/15 - Published: 2/15/2011 - [Sakura H., Sasori]
Madness and Magic reviews
Come with me, won't you, in this hand of mine to the spider's web of a land of endless time.
Higurashi/Umineko series - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 416 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/19/2013 - Published: 10/20/2010 - Complete
Operation: E D U C A T I O N reviews
"What in God's name does this have to do with a dancing panda?" "Really?" Sasuke deadpanned, scarily serious, in a tone that said Madara should be fearing for his life. "If you have to ask, then you clearly don't know what you're getting yourself into." — AU. Crack!fic. Language Warning. Sequel to "Operation: F U N."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,741 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 20 - Published: 1/11/2013 - [Sakura H., Madara U.] - Complete
My Life As A Clinically Insane Pink Haired Girl reviews
My mom got called away on some kind of business trip yesterday, so my brother Nagato and I have to stay home alone for a couple of weeks. And since he just can't stand the thought of leaving me to my own devices, Jerk-face over here decided that he's gonna drag me along to his stupid little group meeting. Kill me now. — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,197 - Reviews: 69 - Favs: 327 - Follows: 149 - Published: 6/3/2012 - [Sakura H., Pain/Pein] Nagato, Akatsuki - Complete
Team Thirteen reviews
Sequel to Letters to Sasuke. He was an Uchiha, dang it. Just because he didn't pass his Chunin Exams before leaving the village DID NOT MAKE HIM A GENIN AT AGE TWENTY-FOUR WHEN HE FINALLY RETURNED TO SAID VILLAGE. GOD. Crack!fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,791 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 45 - Published: 3/15/2011 - Sasuke U., Sakura H. - Complete
Just Because reviews
Because he is Itachi, she is Sakura, and that's the way things work. Series of one-shots. Sequel to Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,532 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 2/14/2011 - Published: 1/27/2011 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
花弁の雨滴 Shizuku Oite Hana reviews
After Yahiko quite literally runs into the girl of his dreams, he comes to discover that she's the new transfer student joining his class. What could get better? Now, if only he could stop making a fool of himself in front of her... AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 36,708 - Reviews: 278 - Favs: 269 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 2/13/2011 - Published: 3/4/2009 - [Sakura H., Yahiko] - Complete
Worlds Apart, Yet So Close reviews
In which Sakura is introduced to a world the likes of which none of them have ever seen. She'll have to befriend an infamous detective in order to capture the mass-murderer that kills people via heart attacks — but, in the end, will she survive it?
Crossover - Naruto & Death Note - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 70,876 - Reviews: 706 - Favs: 729 - Follows: 384 - Updated: 2/1/2011 - Published: 5/16/2009 - [Sakura H., L] - Complete
Harry Potter and the Red Dawn Guardians reviews
Who ever knew that protecting some kid with glasses and a lightning bolt scar from Orochimaru and another snake-affiliated freak would be so hard? Throw in the unwanted attention of a certain Uchiha, and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster. Akatsuki no Sakura. Prequel to Just Because.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 65,538 - Reviews: 677 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 362 - Updated: 1/27/2011 - Published: 3/8/2009 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] Deidara, Kisame H. - Complete
Operation: F U N reviews
The man fell like a brick, twitching and groaning in a heap on the ground. Madara frowned, putting away the Nerf gun he'd been holding to his back. "I don't think he's unconscious." Sakura bashed the man upside the head with her frying pan. "Now he is." — AU. Crack!fic. Language Warning. Prequel to "Operation: E D U C A T I O N."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,395 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 305 - Follows: 52 - Published: 1/26/2011 - Sakura H., Neji H., Akatsuki - Complete
Letters to Sasuke reviews
"So, here's my plan, Uchiha: You read all of these letters and realize what an idiot you were for leaving the village. You ask to be reinstated, I grant your request, and I kick your scrawny tail for all the trouble you've caused. Everyone lives happily ever after. The end. I expect your answer soon, and I expect it to be satisfactory. OR ELSE." Signed, Tsunade. — Crack!fic.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 23 - Words: 12,098 - Reviews: 506 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Sasuke U. - Complete
Five Glances reviews
When you fall for someone, it happens in the most unexpected ways. Sometimes you run smack into the person you eventually come to love. Sometimes you call them a rude name because they tripped you. Sometimes you're introduced by a friend. And sometimes, if your name is Sabaku no Gaara, you fall for a girl by attempting to crush the life from her body.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,409 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 423 - Follows: 47 - Published: 1/6/2011 - [Sakura H., Gaara] - Complete
What Not To Do On A Mission reviews
Hello, my fellow shinobi. If you are reading this, then you must be preparing to embark upon your first mission. These simple guidelines were created to ensure the safety of your charge, your teammates, and yourself, so please do your best to follow them. Take, for example, Rule No. 26: If your teammate says "duck", he or she does not mean that a duck is passing by. — Crack.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,436 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 206 - Follows: 34 - Published: 6/11/2010 - Complete
Curiosity Killed the Cat reviews
Imagine her surprise when Sakura came to find her clothes missing and a very self-satisfied Uchiha Itachi standing at the only exit of the girls' locker room. — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,792 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 630 - Follows: 100 - Published: 2/5/2010 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
Seventeen Is The Best Age For Engagement, You Know reviews
New Year's with the Uchiha's couldn't be so bad, right? Right? "Mother, you're choking her." Scratch that. It was going to be a nightmare. Sequel to "Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know." — AU. Crack-ish.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,404 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 273 - Follows: 41 - Published: 1/1/2010 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
Never Again reviews
"Are you alright?" he asked softly, brushing the bandage on Mom's face. She didn't meet his eyes, and I suppressed a shiver. We all three left the hospital with a seemingly-calm exterior, but when we returned home, my father was yelling and beating again. — AU.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Family/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,190 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 21 - Published: 11/30/2009 - [Sakura H., Pain/Pein] - Complete
Girlfriend For A Day reviews
So, I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when suddenly the famous teenage movie star Uchiha Sasuke latched onto my arm and claimed to be my boyfriend to escape from his psychotic fangirls and camera stalkers. Seriously, karma? Overkill? — AU. Crack-ish. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,821 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 400 - Follows: 151 - Updated: 10/26/2009 - Published: 7/23/2009 - [Sakura H., Sasuke U.] [Naruto U., Hinata H.] - Complete
His Hair Was Blond, His Eyes Were Blue reviews
His hair was blond; his eyes were blue. My first grade heart pounded, and instantly I knew.
Naruto - Rated: K - English - Romance/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/29/2009 - [Hinata H., Naruto U.] - Complete
Unexpected reviews
Sakura was determined to make the ungrateful jerk thank her for healing him after his stupid ritual this time. But his definition of thanking was a little...OFF... Akatsuki no Sakura. — Crack!fic. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,974 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 35 - Published: 7/22/2009 - [Sakura H., Hidan] Akatsuki - Complete
Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know reviews
"So, Sakura-chan!" she chirped. "When can I be expecting grandchildren?" I choked on my food. Dear Lord, what is WRONG with this woman? — Sequel to "Eighteen Is The Legal Age For Marriage, You Know." Prequel to "Seventeen Is The Best Age For Engagement, You Know." — AU. Crack-ish.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,881 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 58 - Published: 6/18/2009 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
Eighteen Is The Legal Age For Marriage, You Know reviews
"Also," his father continued, raising a bit of curiosity in Itachi, "if you're going to take over my position in a few years, you'll need to find a suitable wife." Across the table, Sasuke choked on his breakfast. Mikoto squealed. "Yes! I can't wait to be a grandmother!" — AU. Crack-ish. Prequel to "Fifteen Is A Good Age For Having Kids, You Know."
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,918 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 94 - Published: 6/9/2009 - [Sakura H., Itachi U.] - Complete
Over and Over reviews
Even after all these years, he still hated me.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 869 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/25/2009 - [Sasuke U., Sakura H.] - Complete
What the Heart Wants reviews
Sakura was always neck-and-neck with Near during exams, sometimes even surpassing him. If Mello's calculations were correct, she had been first 26 times since she arrived, while Near was at 24. But why did he care? He was just the stupid third-place kid.
Crossover - Naruto & Death Note - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,974 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 23 - Published: 5/21/2009 - [Sakura H., Mello] Near - Complete
Green M&M's reviews
When she saw the e-mail was from Ino, she should have deleted it. But, of course, being the curious little person she was, Sakura had opened it. She couldn't help it; she just had to know. — AU. Crack!fic
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 980 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 180 - Follows: 25 - Published: 5/18/2009 - [Sakura H., Pain/Pein] - Complete
Just to Get High reviews
I stared in shock at the scene. My best friend — my only friend — was slumped against a dirty brick wall in an alley. There was just enough light from the full moon to reveal it to me. Something in the pit of my stomach told me exactly what was going on. — AU. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,185 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 9 - Published: 4/1/2009 - [Sakura H., Hidan] - Complete
A Nightmare on Leaf Street reviews
After a series of strange events that Sakura would rather not know about, the Akatsuki have somehow come to be Konoha's tentative allies, and they are in need of a place to stay. Who better to push them on than Tsunade's trusted apprentice? — Crack. Language Warning.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,985 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 233 - Follows: 26 - Published: 3/2/2009 - [Sakura H., Hidan] Akatsuki - Complete
100 Ways To Get Killed By The Akatsuki reviews
The Akatsuki. With just those two words, an entire village could be brought to its knees, quivering and crying for mercy. Despite this, a dark secret hovered above these men - and woman. This motley crew was actually composed of...imbeciles. Crack!fic.
Naruto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,221 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 347 - Follows: 48 - Published: 3/1/2009 - Akatsuki - Complete
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