Jordan Lives
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
beta: β Beta Profile
Joined 03-04-08, id: 1515875, Profile Updated: 10-14-09
Author has written 2 stories for Naruto, and Fairy Tail.

Hola Bitchola! My Pen Name is in reference to my favorite author, Robert Jordan, who died in September 2007. He never got to finish his book series the Wheel of Time. I hope to one day be half as good an author as he ever was.

I lost my writing Mojo! True story.

About Kitsunegan: It's clear to me that while my actual writing skills are pretty good, my plots needed some work. As well I didn't seem to have a grasp on the finer details of character development and interaction. I did humor pretty well and the story reads well, but the naivety and the story premise itself are pitiful.

About Me: I'm a dude.

Likes: Good Authors, Leggy Blondes, A Drink, A Bowl, Manga, Funny stuff, Football, Video Games, Cooking

Dislikes: Almost everything not on the above list, but especially: People who can't write, but do it anyway.

Fav Authors (Of Real Books): Ayn Rand, R.I.P., Robert Jordan, R.I.P. and John Ringo

Fav Pairings: Naruto: NaruxTema, SasuxHina, NaruxTen, NaruxAnko, NaruxTsu, NaruxFemHaku, NaruxYugito, KakaxAnko, KakaxKure, KakaxYuugao

Worst Fav Pairings: Naruto: NaruxSaku, NaruxHina, SasuxSaku, KibaxHina and basically any mainstream and or homosexual pairings.

Fav Pairings: Bleach: IchiHime, IchiRukia, IshidaHime, IshiNemu, YoruUra, HitsuMomo...Uh theres a few more

Worst Fav Pairings: Bleach: RenjiRukia, HitsuRangiku, AizenxAnyone (C'mon the man is Aesexual as it gets) and of course any yaoi yuri

Fav Pairing: Ranma 1/2: ShampooxRanma, AkarixRyoga

Worst Fav Pairings: Ranma 1/2: AnyoneElsexRanma, and as before, any homosexual pairings.

The Reasons people write Fanfiction:

People disagree with the Author about what should be done with his creations.

People think they can write the Authors story better than the author can.

People try to guess, "What will come next,"

People who want to play with might have beens, or should have beens.

People think that things that have been left unexplored should be explored.

People find plot crossroads, places where the story could have gone one of a few different ways, and decide that the way the author went wasn't the right way.

People love the characters so much they want to make them their own.

People like the concept of a character, but think the author has failed to bring it out to its fullest potential.

People like to guess, "But what if this had happened instead of that?"

People want to feel important, and so try to place themselves in their favorite universe.

People feel unwanted, or outcast and they want to be where they can't be judged based on who they are but on what they've done.

People want to improve the quality of their writing.

People like the characters but find flaws in the plot.

People like the plot but find flaws with the characters.

People get bored.

People want a reaction.

People want to understand the mind of the author.

People want to know what would happen if that one thing, that one debilitating weakness that all great characters have were taken away.

Things Author's of Fanfiction do seemingly just to piss off me, and every other decently competent writer on this site: Make characters not as strong as they should be, "Oh look I'm the second Espada! I'm stronger than any Gotei 13 captain, Fear me! Oh no I just got wtfpwned by this 4 year old Mary Sue nobody! It's not like according to Kubo Tite something with significantly less spiritual pressure than something else cannot physically cut that thing." or Too strong. "Bwahaha, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, tremble! In the Anime I suck at life in general and have stumbled along on sheer dumb luck and stubborness. But just cuz I found a magic sword in this forest while tripping on acid and cutting myself because the village just tried to murder me for the 9001th time (Because obviously it's over 9000), now I can destroy the world by blinking! Fear my Blink! Blink!!" Look Au stories are fun, no doubt about it, who wants to just redo cannon? The reason I write fanfiction is because authors always ruin a story...they should just be allowed to think of a story idea then let everyone else think of the actual plot line. But when you make characters too fucking strong then it destroys what is known as Suspension of Disbelief, you know, that thing which let's you read a story about ninjas blowing giant dragons made of fire out of their mouths and summoning toads the size of skyscrapers and not go every three seconds, "But that denies every law of motion, thermodynamics and even the theory of relativity! Hey! The space on the inside of that magical toad is bigger than the space on the outside!" It's what leads people to never question that somehow when people die they go to a place exactly like feudal japan, or that every dead person ever speaks japanese! or the fact that when these 'Souls' die a second time they get reincarnated into a baby. What if there's not enough baby's? or too many souls? Do you know how impossible it would be for the world to be regulated by that? "Oh no! We've somehow managed to keep a thousand souls from dieing a second time...a thousand Korean kids were just born souless...well damn, that's unfortunate. Looks like Aizen just slaughtered 9001 (again over 9000) residents of Rukongai, what do we do with all these dead people with no bodies to put them in?...Force Premature births? then they'll end up right back here." But no, people read these stories and keep reading them because we are temporarily able to suspend our inclination to disbelieve things that go against what we know to be true. But when things are too outrageous we can't do that...and then the story becomes not fun to read.

Yaoi! and Yuri! "Just because I haven't ever peeped on women in the bath tub, or tried to cop a feel I'm obviously a raging Homosexual." Homosexuality is only ok in my book when the author himself has stated: that character is as flaming as a tent full of drunk clowns doused in gasoline on the 4th of July. But no...the only characters you guys don't force to get raped up the A by their unwilling coworkers are the ones that have left no doubt as to their heterosexuality, which is apparently only possible by being a giant Fucking pervert. Look, Homosexuality exists, and I have no problem with it generally, though I once beat up a belligerent gay man at a party once because he wouldn't take no for an answer. I do however, have a problem with the shitty smutfest's that are so prevalent on this site. If you want to write a Gay story, that is a story that involves both homosexuality and a plot, and that's alright, I've read a few good ones. If you want to write a shitty gay sex scene with little to no semblance of plot, go somewhere else.

Bad Fucking Grammar: It's sometimes ok if it shows up in the first couple of chapters than disappears, that at least means they're getting better. But if it keeps showing up it means you don't give a flying fuck about your story, and so, I won't read it anymore. This goes for giant plot holes and things you were too lazy to explain because, "Everyone'll will obviously know what I mean." Have you ever met a real person before you naive moron? The average one is retarded, it goes doubly so for people who read or write fanfiction, which is why there's over 200,000 Naruto stories and around 90 percent (198,000 roughly) make me want to claw my eyes out.

OC Main Characters: Oh boy has this been a long time coming. I like OC's in general. They're like blank slates which can be thrown into a space and fill it up. What they aren't however, is a license to make yourself into the god of a world of your own creation you poor pathetic soul. "Naruto, come with me and I will give you godly powers. I am your long lost brother and the container of the 10 Tailed Demon Rhinoceros, I will kill all those who ever try to hurt you. My name is XXNarutoXMenXForeverXX" "Totally just made that name up, sorry if that is your actual name, in that case, get a life." Yay, you've successfully taken any hint of the original story flavoring out of the story. The reason I write Naruto fanfiction is because Naruto is such a compelling, albeit moronic sometimes character. He has major flaws and the tenacity to work past them, but when you introduce little miss god mode look at me Mary Sue Naruto can't get his chance to shine. Ever read "My Immortal"? If not, do so, because that is what you are going towards when you create an OC as a main character and make the real Main Characters into side shows to give your self insert a chance to shine.

Trust me, there will be more of these.

Stories I'm thinking of working on:

Bleach/Naruto X-over: Naruto's a Shinigami...and he still has a pervert for a sensei...course this one's a drunk as well.

Maybe one day. Maybe.

Stories I'm working on:

X-Class: A Class Beyond(Working Title): A FairyTail Naruto Crossover. When Luxus erupts, FairyTail's most elusive mage shows up in the nick of time. Showing Magic skills unheard of, and Displaying his tatoo on his neck for the world to see, who is this blonde haired enigma? And what kind of history do he and Lucy have?

Hiatus: I will one day update this story. It has potential and I hadn't got far enough along to fuck it up. As to when that will be? Who knows.

Naruto no Kitsunegan: The Legend of the Fourth Doujutsu: AU The Yondaime did not die sealing the Kyuubi, instead the Sandaime took his place. So Naruto has a father to look out for him, and various other members of Minato's adopted family. Also, the Kyuubi turns out to not be quite the villain...well you have to read it to find out that part. But anyway Naruto get's a Doujutsu. If you can't guess what that is by the name of the story you should probably find a hole somewhere and then just crawl in it and die. It's NaruxHarem and so far the Harem contains Subaku no Temari and Yuriko no Wairudo. There will be two other members which have already been voted in, no changing deal with it.

Discontinued: I don't particularly like the naivety of this story, as well some things in my personal life have prevented me from working on it. Discontinued because the whole story idea of an unstoppable Godlike Naruto, a Yondaime Hokage who is alive and a good Kyuubi make for a character with no real hope of a suitable villain. Plus the whole Kyuubi's dead children thing was retarded, no doubt.

I like writing, and one day I'll be back to either rework the story, or scrap it and actually put something worth reading in it's place.

I will keep the story online as a sort of message to myself that I have a long way to go.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Neo Yondaime Hokage by Psycho G reviews
AU. In battling and defeating Kyuubi No Kitsune, the sealing jutsu unexpectedly sealed away Yondaime Hokage into Naruto. What will life for Naruto be like now that Yondaime is sealed away into him?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 85 - Words: 627,943 - Reviews: 8900 - Favs: 8,004 - Follows: 6,498 - Updated: 8/8/2015 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Namikaze Uzumaki Naruto by battousai222 reviews
The 4th Hokage never sealed the Kyuubi into Naruto. Instead he defeated it and gave his son Naruto a new chance at life. A strong, powerful Naruto. He made Jounin at 13 also. Pairing Naruto X FEMALE Haku! Haku is a girl!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 163,451 - Reviews: 1809 - Favs: 3,144 - Follows: 2,517 - Updated: 6/28/2014 - Published: 2/21/2007 - Naruto U., Haku
A Dog's Fox by VFSNAKE reviews
Summary inside. Will have quick crossover with Inuyasha, but nothing too bad. Will be some slight Kagome bashing and quick InuyashaxSango. It sound better once you read it. Trust me!
Crossover - Inuyasha & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 186,682 - Reviews: 936 - Favs: 1,399 - Follows: 1,234 - Updated: 5/20/2013 - Published: 5/1/2008 - Naruto U.
Fists of Life by G-Force 1 reviews
This is a Ranma 1/2, H.S.D.K, and Ikkitousen crossover.
Crossover - Ranma & Kenichi the Mightiest Disciple - Rated: M - English - Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 37,948 - Reviews: 153 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 239 - Updated: 12/19/2012 - Published: 4/24/2009
A Growing Affection by Xavon Wrentaile reviews
After a misunderstanding reveals hidden emotions, Naruto and Hinata begin training together, getting to know each other. At the same time Sakura finds herself jealous. Takes place in a tangent after the Elemental Training Arc of the Shippuden timeline.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 170 - Words: 686,165 - Reviews: 3147 - Favs: 3,466 - Follows: 1,953 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 11/27/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Breaking the Boundaries by calatrava reviews
The Yondaime summoned the Shinigami but he didn't get what he expected. The sealing afterwards fundamentally changed the boy who learns to become a master of the blade, to fulfill his destiny as the Guardian of the Three Paths. Naruto AU with Bleach
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 486,350 - Reviews: 1461 - Favs: 2,407 - Follows: 1,959 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Naruto U.
Cracked Mask by Denim88 reviews
Hueco Mundo; home of vicious and horrendous souls called Hollows. Then HE became one of them. Naruto will prove that even as a Hollow, life is determined by one's own beliefs, and shake the foundation of the spiritual world as a result. Naruto/Bleach fic
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 19 - Words: 208,332 - Reviews: 2345 - Favs: 5,336 - Follows: 4,376 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Naruto U.
Remnants of a Forgotten Dream by FFPA reviews
Slight crossover fic between Naruto and Bleach. A chess match to rival all chess matches has begun. It all starts with a new soul arriving in Seireitei with reiatsu rivaling even that of their strongest. And now a conspiracy has begun to unfold.
Crossover - Naruto & Bleach - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 107,502 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 1,044 - Follows: 1,074 - Updated: 5/25/2011 - Published: 12/31/2006 - Naruto U., T. Hitsugaya
Naruto: Kazama Ascendant by Justareader80 reviews
AU A letter discloses truths that had been hidden and Naruto is actually given the tools necessary to achieve his goals. Armed with a new sense of purpose, Naruto sets out to forge his path and revive his once great clan.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 182,660 - Reviews: 801 - Favs: 1,769 - Follows: 1,828 - Updated: 3/4/2011 - Published: 5/31/2007 - Naruto U.
The Birth of the Araiki Clan by Lesingnon Bladewind reviews
The Raikage had a second target the night of the Hyuga Abduction, and Naruto was brought safely to Kumogakure. Upon arrival, he is gifted with a kekkai genkai in preparation for the birth of a new clan. Behold the power of To-Remu Yajuuki. NarutoxYugito
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 31 - Words: 167,056 - Reviews: 739 - Favs: 1,916 - Follows: 1,604 - Updated: 1/29/2011 - Published: 7/14/2008 - Naruto U., Yugito N.
The Demon Prince of Konoha by Megii of Mysteri OusStranger reviews
There is a legend of a demon that lives in the forest surrounding Konoha. Some people say that the demon is an enemy of the village while others say it protects it. The Sand Trio had never heard of this legend until the Chuunin Exam. NaruTema
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 22 - Words: 70,076 - Reviews: 2147 - Favs: 2,659 - Follows: 2,419 - Updated: 1/4/2011 - Published: 12/23/2006 - Temari, Naruto U. - Complete
SHINKU ARASHI by DX99 reviews
Things don't always go the way they're planned. And after Naruto's attempt to stop Mizuki fails, he's about to learn why the Yondaime's sealing of Kyuubi didn't go as planned either. NaruHina, NaruHarem later.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 157,941 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 694 - Follows: 717 - Updated: 9/24/2010 - Published: 12/5/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
Serpentine Embrace by MountainWind reviews
They're both crazy, there's no doubt about that. But could the craziest thing either has done is try to be loved? AnkoxNaruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 63,602 - Reviews: 375 - Favs: 850 - Follows: 874 - Updated: 9/21/2010 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Anko M., Naruto U.
Oath by Venath reviews
AU. On the night of the Kyuubi's attack, a boy overhears something he wasn't supposed to. Naturally, Naruto's upbringing goes through a few changes as a result. Itachi and Naruto, but not Naruto/Itachi.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 82,468 - Reviews: 413 - Favs: 732 - Follows: 878 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 2/16/2008 - Naruto U., Itachi U.
Rosario Tsukune by evelsaint93 reviews
This is my twist on Rosario Vampire. What if Tsukune wasn't fully human? But rather the descendant of Lucifer the fallen Archangel. Watch him take the Youkai World by a storm! A TsukunexHarem Fic. -Evelsaint93
Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,218 - Reviews: 407 - Favs: 440 - Follows: 427 - Updated: 4/29/2010 - Published: 10/13/2008
Death is Only the Beginning by Amoral Philosopher reviews
The Shiki Fuujin. It was a jutsu meant to seal away the soul of the Kyuubi no Kitsune inside that of a newborn baby. It worked…kinda.
Crossover - Naruto & Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 33,576 - Reviews: 297 - Favs: 852 - Follows: 909 - Updated: 3/6/2010 - Published: 9/6/2009 - Naruto U.
The Tempered Heart by lord of the land of fire reviews
A terrible tragedy shatters Naruto's heart and he is forced into exile for his own safety. He is sent to a different world filled monsters and secrets. Will he find the strength to heal his heart? Tsu X Mok, Nar X Kur
Crossover - Naruto & Rosario + Vampire - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 42,539 - Reviews: 1402 - Favs: 1,549 - Follows: 1,390 - Updated: 3/1/2010 - Published: 4/22/2009 - Naruto U., Kurumu K.
An Eye For An Eye (Discontinued) by The Hug Machine reviews
This story is not going to be finished. I'm rewriting the story however if you would like to look it up. Sorry if this upsets you, but it had to be done. You can find the remade story here /s/4629252/1/An-Eye-For-An-Eye
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 103,631 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 279 - Follows: 270 - Updated: 2/27/2010 - Published: 2/4/2008 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
Rivers of Hades by dllang89 reviews
At age 9, Sarutobi decides Naruto is ready to find out about the Uzumaki clan and their power: to control the rivers of the Underworld. Main pairing: NarutoHinataTemari Rating may go up in later chapters.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 72,809 - Reviews: 682 - Favs: 1,808 - Follows: 1,758 - Updated: 8/6/2009 - Published: 12/4/2007 - Naruto U., Hinata H.
A Nightmare Worth Living Through by Count Papaya reviews
With the Yondaime Hokage's seal weakening day by day and the Akatsuki hunting the remaining Bijuu, Tsunade is forced to send Naruto to a hidden school, ran by an old associate of the Sandaime. The name of the school? Youkai Academy.
Crossover - Naruto & Rosario + Vampire - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 33,762 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 436 - Follows: 498 - Updated: 7/25/2009 - Published: 8/12/2008 - Naruto U.
The Disappearance by WingedFreedom622 reviews
After failing to bring Sasuke back, Naruto disappears. Five years later, the Sound tries an open invasion of Konoha one more time. NaruTen! CH. 27 IS UP! AU. SUSPENDED PENDING REWRITE DECISION
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 28 - Words: 177,804 - Reviews: 341 - Favs: 639 - Follows: 632 - Updated: 7/3/2009 - Published: 12/3/2007 - Naruto U., Tenten
Legion of Shadows by Akatsuki Leader13 reviews
Naruto/Warhammer 40k x-over. It is a time of legend. Warriors of Man battle to unite humanity under the banner of the Imperium. But the sun is setting on this Golden Age. A great Heresy is rising. This is the tale of one Legion and their battles. Abandoned.
Crossover - Warhammer & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,569 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 5/14/2009 - Published: 11/29/2008 - Naruto U.
Dear Senpai, remember me? by BLSUGS30 reviews
KakaXAnko.. She returns seven years later, out of the blue, with raw scars on her body. He's a school lit teacher, someone who's happy enough with forgetting his past. "Senpai, remember me? " Lemon. Frequent reference to Obito and the rest of Naruto's cas
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,968 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 2/7/2009 - Published: 7/17/2008 - Kakashi H., Anko M.
The True Monster by lord of the land of fire reviews
A Rosario Vampire and Naruto cross over. Naruto, the hated Kyuubi jinchuuriki is sent to a school for monsters to complete his education before he can return to Konoha. But in a place filled with monsters he wonders just who the true monster is. Nar X Mok
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 73 - Words: 228,346 - Reviews: 5684 - Favs: 4,074 - Follows: 1,912 - Updated: 12/20/2008 - Published: 8/5/2008 - Naruto U. - Complete
The Difference Of One by Beetledude reviews
What would have happened to Ichigo if he met Neliel long before Hueco Mundo, how different would his life be? How would it affect his choices and his view on life and all in it? That’s for you to find out! IchixNel Rated M for future content
Bleach - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,707 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 180 - Published: 12/5/2008 - Ichigo K., Neliel T. O./Nel
Born in the Mist by Triple Cross reviews
In a twist of fate, Naruto finds himself living with the Seven Swordsmen, training to join their ranks. But one day the Seven is attacked by the Mizukage, forcing Naruto to flee to Konoha, a land he's never seen or loved. Will he still be able to save it?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 19,201 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 194 - Follows: 247 - Updated: 7/24/2008 - Published: 5/18/2008 - Naruto U., Haku
Naruto: Broken Mirrors by Alkero reviews
What if things went differently on the Great Naruto Bridge, and what if Naruto unlocked a bloodline that could copy other bloodlines. Eventual NaruxTen Rating May change
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,684 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 235 - Updated: 4/15/2008 - Published: 4/9/2008 - Naruto U., Tenten
Konoha's Demon Fox by GothicGohan-again reviews
After one final push over the edge, Naruto quits his team. Now, with a little help, Naruto is ready to prove himself. Is Kyuubi able to help him gain power,respect, and most of all, friends and family?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 43,492 - Reviews: 1086 - Favs: 1,364 - Follows: 1,333 - Updated: 7/29/2007 - Published: 2/24/2006 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Naruto no Kitsunegan: Legend of the 4th Doujutsu reviews
AU What if the Sandaime had died sealing the Kyuubi instead of the Yondaime. What if Naruto gained possession of a Legendary Doujutsu? What if Naruto grew up with a supporting family. Would his life and powers really be that much different?Discontinued.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 47,260 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 533 - Follows: 569 - Updated: 10/13/2009 - Published: 5/15/2008 - Naruto U., Temari - Complete
XClass: The Class Above reviews
When all hope seems lost and Luxus power waxed its strongest, Fairy Tail's most elusive Hero will rise to knock its wayward son back down. And now that he's back, it looks like this "X-class Mage," Isn't going anywhere. X-over. On Hiatus.
Crossover - Naruto & Fairy Tail - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 833 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 160 - Published: 3/6/2009 - Naruto U., Lucy H.