Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.
Read my blog if you want: http://emilseliza-lifeincollege.blogspot.com/
I appologize for not updating, but I've been very busy with stuff that has started to go way out of control. Once I get my life back in order a little more, I will continue to update my stories. Once again, my appologies. Please don't kill me.
Update: I've kind of lost inspiration. If anyone wants to help me with that I'm open to it.
Names that I go by: Emily, Elizabeth, Elvia, Susie, Lizzie, Freddie, Becky, Nancy, Beth, Carol, Girl, Milie, Ellie, Mike
Hi. my name is Elvia. Ironically to my former pen name, I am actually a ballet teacher. I really do hate ballet. I love to watch it, I just don't like to perform it even though I'm actually somewhat good at it. I like to go camping and swimming in lakes in the beginning of June when the water is freezing (don't ask). I'm an only child but I have 3 friends and a student that claim to be my sisters: Julie, Elizabeth, Kaitlyn, and Meredith. I am one of those people who will come home from somewhere and just sit and watch the weather channel for hours. I find it very interesting, especially during hurricane season. Sorry about not updating any of my stories but I'm a bit busy right now and can not continue them at this moment. My friends are a big part of my life. I have many quotes by me, my friends, and family. I hope you enjoy reading them. PS I added new ones, again.
Lou: OK, Miss Congeniality. (I was wearing a dress and acting like a boy. Makes no sense I know.)
Me: Happy Pi Day. (once again don't ask)
Me: I've stopped questioning my sanity years ago.
Dad: Pop Tarts are just flat pies. (that was his response to why I wanted to eat pie and poptarts.)
Lauren: Lima beans grow on trees just like weeds.
Me: I think it would be cool and all but I don't want the lives of inocent children in my hands. (don't ask)
Mr. Peebles: What did you do this time? (This was his response to me bringing in a note again saying I can't do gym for a week)
Braden: Just stick it in and go. (if you have a sick mind it will make sense)
Julie: You are going to go into the dressing room and we are just going to keep handing you clothes to try on. (I told her that I was going to take her with on a shopping trip where I need to buy a dress)
Me: I love you, too, Jimmy! (I screamed it in the middle of math class when he told me he hated me, I have no friends, and to get away from him. I got lots of weird stares) (Lou said she taught me well)
Becky: Ya'll look like you're dead.
Me: I'm an only child. I feel so lonely. (Most of this was in German and the teacher loved it)
Frau E: So is human geography like anatomy? (discusing what classes I'm taking next year.)
Frau L: Are you Julie or Emily? (She can't tell me and Julie apart)
Meredith: So Emily, are you getting married this year?
Me: Are you serious?
Me: do you honestly think that I have a boyfriend?
Me: well I don't.
Meredith: Awww. I feel so bad for you. (my student actually thinks I have a boyfriend. I think she's crazy. Maybe I shouldn't have given her my phone number)
Meredith: I've never had a boyfriend for more than ten minutes. (She's 11 and is complaining about boyfriends)
Tyler R: I am not a fluffy gopher.
Ian: Haha... It's not stalking when you're a vampire. It's different. (I asked him if he was stalking me. Kind of creepy that he said he was a vampire but oh well. I went to a movie with him)
Greg: Ian is a robot. (Talking about Ian's grades and how they are high compaired to mine and gregs)
Me: Yeah, all we have left is finals! Crap I better go study. (Im happy that theres only finals left but I don't want to fail them)
Me: Ian, don't your parents ever wonder what you do to your brother and sister?
Ian: They've forgotten about them long already
Greg: What's that supposed to mean? That he killed them?
Me: Yep, and that he killed them so long ago that they just don't remember them. (He really didn't do anything to them. They're both still alive and well. I saw them when I was at his house the one day.
Mom: Holy Crap Em!
Mom: You got 100 on your history final.
Me: I did.
Me: How the heck did I do that? (I honestly didn't think I did anywhere near that good on my final.)
James: My fat cheese is crying. (I don't know how to explain this one)
Dad: Em, what kind of smoothie do you want.
Me: Peanut butter and chocolate.
1 day later
Dad: What kind of smoothie do you want.
Me: Peanut butter and chocolate.
2days later from the first day.
Dad: Em, did you decide what kind of smoothie you wanted.
Me: Peanut butter and banana. (It was a very good smoothie to)
Me: If the goal in life is to die, then why not just go kill yourself and reach that goal sooner. (I put this in my psychology project. The teacher didn't see it yet so I don't know what she's going to say. I'm not actually encouraging suicide, but it was in my head when I did my project.)
Spencer: Ok. All you guys are wrong.
Mr. Peffley: What are you doing?
Spencer: I'm putting them in their spots.
Mr. Peffley:I just fixed them. They are fine.
Spencer: But they're wrong. (I hate Spencer but I loved when Mr. Peffley told him he was wrong about a lot of things. It was funny. This was just my favorite part of the conversation.)
Ms. K: Alright, lets do it one more time.
Leah, Katelyn, Me: There's no such thing as one more time.
James: Where's your stuff for English?
Me: Tis Yonder.
Sarah H: Is that a hippo?
Ms. Zorrilla: An angry hippo is really dangerous.
Tegan: The birds! The birds! They mark the spot! (hears random bird call and starts cracking up laughing. Jess and I were holding the birds when Jess made the bird call)
James: I never knew that's what flogging meant. (He said this in the middle of English class to the teacher.)
Stefan: I love flogging. (This was also during English class)
Nana: It's breast awareness month.
Me: I believe we're all aware we have those by now. (She ment Breast Cancer Awareness Month)
Me: If we can talk about tampons, hickeys, and douch bags, we can certainly watch the Phantom of the Opera. (You don't want to know.
Dad: Nancy, come here.
Me: I'm not Nancy.
Dad: Alright then, Becky come here.
Me: I'm not Becky either.
Dad: Girl! Come here!
Liz: You should have told me you liked my brother. I could have set you guys up.
Me: I'm not getting along to well with my dad right now.
Zeke (Liz's friend): That's why you should invite a bunch of guys over to make you happy and piss your dad off.
Random speaker about the middle ages: In the middle ages there was no such thing as X-Box, Nintendo, or Play Boy. (This was during a school assembly for fifth graders.)
Liz: Ok, I almost flew into that cow's butt.
Me: Did you just say "My phone doesn't have sex?"
Me: That was definately not a girl's voice.
Nick: Did you just call me a negro?
Mr. Schwalm: Men have boobs, too.
Me: I wandered lonely as a tree. (I was supposed to be reciting the poem "I wandered lonely as a cloud" but I messed up.)
Meredith: Emily, did you graduate?
Me: I'm 16. Why would you think I graduated?
Meredith: I don't know.
Meredith: I'm on my eleventh boyfriend since the beginning of the school year.
Me: Weren't you only on your ninth on Saturday. (At this point it was Tuesday)
Daulton: I ate bird poop before.
Daulton: I can read.
Me: What does this say?
Daulton: I can only read chapter books.
Me: What does this say?
Daulton: I can only read books with pictures.
Me: what does this say?
Daulton: I can only read on Wednesdays.
Kaitlyn: What is the seed of man and the seed of woman?
Me: . . .
Kaitlyn: Why are you smiling?
Me: I'm trying to think of how to answer your question.
Sandi: Its a part of a man and a part of a woman that come together to make a baby.
Me: I felt like such an old person the other day. I sat there as soon as I got home and watched the Weather Channel 'til someone else came home.
Madison: Mike, come here I have something important I want to tell you: Hi Mike. (I don't know why she calls me mike but she does)
Amelia: I should buy those condoms for you Em. You'd probably have them all used up in a week.
Me: Don't worry about me. I think you should buy those for yourself.
Meredith: Baby's need to be burped?
Meredith: Do donuts grow on trees?
Owner of the donut shop: Yes. (she was being completely seriouse when she asked that. She really thought that donuts grew on trees. She's 12, I think she would know better.)
Ms. Zorrilla: I want to throw this computer out the window right now.
Me: That's a good plan, but there's no windows in this room.
Ms. Zorrilla: Quit rubbing it in.
Daulton: Madison says you have big boobs.
Anamaria: She's probably just jealous that you have some.
Copy and Paste stuff.
Pick the ones that fit you (Mine are in bold)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fing them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics/Manga, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyberspace sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK , so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.
I play VIDEO GAMES so I MUST be a LOSER.
I'm a TOMBOY so I MUST be a homosexual that's looking for attention.
I like to READ, so I MUST have a lot of free time
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I'm not a SOUPCAN, so YOU CAN'T LABEL ME!
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser.
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I DON'T DO FASHION so I MUST be poor.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I don't buy DESIGNER CLOTHES, therefore I MUST be poor.
My parents are DIVORCED, therefore I MUST be mentally unstable.
Stereotypes suck! Copy, paste & add. Bold the ones that describe you.