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Joined 03-19-08, id: 1528387, Profile Updated: 05-12-12
Author has written 15 stories for Edward Scissorhands, Sweeney Todd, Dracula, Moulin Rouge, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Harry Potter, Secret Window, and Phantom of the Opera.

Finally updated my profile for the first time in about three years. Huzzah for life :D

Odd conversations you just had to be there to get:

At my bus stop

Me: Hey, Jonathan, are you a necrophiliac?

Jon: What's a necrophliac?

Me: Just answer, are you?

Jon: No, it'll be something rude... I wonder if Nile's a necrophiliac -looks at big scary year 11 kid at the bus stop-

Me: Go ask him.

Jon: Fine, I will. Nile, are you a necrophiliac?

Nile: ...You're sick.

Middle of a drama lesson

Me: Is it rape if neither person is consensual?

Emma: What?!

Me: I'm just wondering.

Emma: How can both of them be nonconsensual?

Me: Well, what if there's a third person who- (bursts out in tears of laughter)

Emma: A third person?! Sian, you're weird.

Me: ... Can you get a mini-rapist?

Emma: Why would you want that?

Me: Why would you want AIDs in a jar?

Emma: Good point. Instead of my jar of AIDs, I'll give you a mini-rapist in a jar, kay?

On the way to CCF

Me: Ron...Ronald...Lexi, I think I just called Chris Ronald.

Lexi: Why Ronald?

Me: It just sounded good, thought it was his name.

(both look at Chris, who is walking behind us)

Lexi: He looks like a Ronald.

Me: Chris, from now on, we're calling you Ronald.

A bored summer's afternoon at Emma's house

Me: Did we introduce KT to Epiphany yet?

KT: What's Epiphany?

Emma: It's this song from Sweeney Todd.

Me: We love it!

Emma: We all deserve to die!

KT: Awe, that's mean.

Me: Sweeney's waiting! I want you bleeders!

KT: BLEEDERS? What the hell's a bleeder?

Me: I think it's some sort of insult. Like bastard, or something like that.

Emma: You can just go up to someone in the street and shout BLEEDER!

(random conversation about arses)

Me: Anyway-

KT: Don't interrupt me, arse-bleeder!

Emma's Bedroom

KT: You know that you can get porn?

Emily: Yeah.

KT: Well, do you think pandas have porn?

Me: Why would pandas need porn? They sort of just do it.

KT: I'm sure pandas like that sort of stuff too.

Emily: Why are we talking about this?

KT: Well, we could carry on talking about it when Emma gets back.

Emma gets back from the bathroom

KT: So yeah, animal porn...

Emma: WHAT?!

Living room as my dad's work friend visits

Simon: You know, Sian, that's my car out there.

Me: Uh-huh.

Simon: In the future, you'll have to have a boyfriend with a car like that.

Me: Okay.

Simon: It's a good car, very stylish, very sleak.

Me: 'kay.

Simon: At least, you'll be lucky to get a boyfriend with a car like that, it's a very good car.

Me: Okay.

Simon: You'll be fighting the guys off when you're older, won't you?

Me: Uh-huh.

Simon: You're ignoring me? 'Just go away' you're thinking, 'I'm trying to watch TV'. Bah!

Me: -snigger-

Day after Boxing Day, 2007

Dad: Hey, I've put the leftover turkey and ham into pies!

Me: Dad, you can't do that.

Dad: Why not?

Mum: She's just gotten into Sweeney Todd.

Dad: Isn't that the one about the barber?

Me: Yeah, and putting the bodies into pies. I can't look at them now!

Dad: Huh, well, you're eating them or nothing.

Me: But they're pies! They're notoriously made out of humans!

Dad: Why would I put humans in pies?

Me: That's what Mrs Lovett said.

While watching Goodnight Mr Tom crycry

Becky: Awe, that is so sad! Why would anyone want to beat a child?

Me: Please, Becky, no one would beat a child.

Becky: ...Do you know what you just said.

Me: Yeah, well, what I meant was- well,- shush!


KT: I was just with my friend, then why do I feel sad? I mean, it's like you've seen this cake there in front of you for a while,
and finally you eat it, but the cake's taken away from you.

Me: Well, maybe you've seen the cake for so long you don't notice it too much.

KT: Then why am I sad?

Me: Because now, you've noticed the cake, and realised you wanted cake, and when
it's taken away, you miss it more.


Me: This was all metaphorical, right?

Library, one very dull break time

Me: Oh my God, guess what! My mum promised she'd finally get me Bram Stoker's Dracula on DVD!

Caroline: Good for you.

Me: It was only two pounds as well!

Caroline: Wow, that's amazing. I mean, with that money, you could buy four flapjacks from the school shop.

Me: Yeah, but which would you rather? Four flapjacks, or Dracula with Gary Oldman?

Caroline: -rolling her eyes at my Gary Oldman fantasy- Dracula, definately.

Me: I've really gotta ask around now. -looks to James- James, which would you rather? Four flapjacks or Bram Stoker's Dracula on DVD?

James: Four flapjacks.

Me: That was almost too quick, James. And why! It's got Gary Oldman in it!

James: Who?

Walking to some lesson or another

Me: Eek! Gary Oldman fantasy, people!

Judith: Who's Gary Oldman?

Me: You don't know?

Judith: Well, no, obviously not.

Me: He was in Harry Potter, you'll know him there.

Judith: Who did he play?

Me: Sirius Black.

Judith: Oh, him! Eugh, he's ancient, Sian!

Me: He isn't! He's only in his forties or something.

Judith: Well, he looks ancient. I mean, you saw him in Sweeney Todd, eugh.

Me: ...What?

Judith: He played that Judge guy.

Me: You're thinking Alan Rickman...who's also kinda hot.

Judith: But you said Sirius.

Me: Yeah, Sirius. You're thinking of Severus.

Judith: Oooooooh...-ping of realisation-

Study, my ears being raped by Leona Lewis

Me: Dad, play something else, please.

Dad: Awe, you don't like it?

Me: You haven't heard me playing my iPod in the stereo lately? It's all been Dresden Dolls and Repo, duh!

Dad: Oh, all that horrible screamng stuff.

Me: It's not scream! I hate scream! This is classcal music in the making.

Leona Lewis: I keep, keep bleeding love -thinking, 'hahaha, another raped by my music'-

Yet another Drama lesson...

Me: Do you think that Johnny Depp could rape someone?

Emma: I dunno. I mean, he could, but would he?

Me: Well, I don't know. He might want to at some point.

Emma: But would it count as rape?

Me: True, I mean, everyone wants to do it with him.

Emma: Exactly. I mean, if he wanted to rape me, I'd be like 'Take me Johnny!'

Me: Yeah, so i's decided. Johnny Depp can not rape anyone, because everyone wants to do it with him.

Another dull lunchtime after discussing a teacher's bum

Judith: He's also got a really nice voice, really sweet, like honey

Me: Yeah, a nice voice kind of helps. I mean, if you're doing it, you don't want the voice to disturb you, do you?

Judith: Exactly, my fun won't be ruined by a high, squeaky voice.

Me: Yeah, you kind of need a voice like... the Graverobber, from Repo.

Emma: True, true, he does have a fantastic voice.

Judith: Well, anyway, you need a name that won't disturb you.

Me: ...Do you think your name much matters?

Judith: Why?

Me: Well, what if your name can't be cried out. I mean, if you have a long name. I think two syllables is the maximum before it's silly.

Judith: Yeah, that's right. Like your name's perfect, you can just go 'Sian, oooh, Sian..'

Me: -blocking ears- I am not listening!

After A P.E Lesson

Judith: You know, Jack's pretty good at throwing.

Me: Yeah, of course.

Judith: No, really, he is. I mean, he throws really well. I nearly broke my fingers catching his balls...

Me: -sniggering manically-

Judith: That came out wrong

Library, another bored break time

Caroline: Hey, Sian, look at this! -points at magazine-

Me: -seeing Edward Scissorhands- Oh my God, lemme look!

Judith: Sian, you're so obsessed.

Me: What? I'm just interested in the movie.

Judith: Why make such a fuss? I mean, Johnny Depp's not even that fit. He's so old.

Me: But Hugh Jackman's about the same age.

Judith: But Hugh Jackman's so amazing. Johnny Depp's so old.

Little voice inside my head: We'll get our own back on her soon enough

Bus conversation

White University Guy: You know blackmailing, right?

White University Guy's friend: Yeah, sure I do.

White University Guy: Well, does that mean that it's just mailing for me, because I'm black?

White University Girl: I'm not sure it works that way.

White University Guy: Well, it's got to. I'm black, therefore it's just mailing for me.

Living room, with a horrid cold

Me: While I was in that study, did anyone figure out a cure for the common cold?

Mum: Sorry, no

Me: Then get to it, now!

Watching Jurassic Park

Me: (whispering) Mum, I think I'm gonna go upstairs now, I'm shattered

Mum: (whispering) Okay. But why are we whispering?

Me: (whispering urgently) Because there are dinosaurs! (points at TV)

Mum: (bemused look, then laughter) The things you say

One lunchtime, discussing Sweeney Todd

Lexi: I'm amazed he could sing

Me: Yeah, I wonder if there's anything Johnny Depp can't do.


Me: Suck, he can not suck

Lexi: (almost wets self laughing and rolls over on the floor)

Me: Wha- NO! No, I didn't mean it like that!!

A Dream I Felt I Had To Share With The World

I am sitting down for an exam in the bedroom of a house I once looked at while the family was moving. There are desks set out, and as we start, I look at my pen and realise I don't have one. So I ask for a pen, and the teacher tells me to bring out my bird call flute. She turns one of the wings into a pencil by turning it, and asks me to do the same with the head. It turns into a pen. I continue the test, and little by little shift myself around the room until I am outside. When I realise I'm sitting outside, I panic, seeing as I'm not allowed outside the room. The teacher sees, and tells me to move a little to the left so that I am inside. Immediately after this, we are sent to bed. Instead of tables there are now mattresses all over the floor. I take the one under the window, where I hear people talking about me. I discover that I am actually an Elphaba-style witch. We all hear a noise outside and look- there are pirates outside in our back garden. I lean out the window and ask Captain Hook, who has suddenly appeared, to lend me his pistol. He does so, and I shoot out the window at random pirates. When it runs out, I ask how many rounds he has left. He gives me two. After somehow shooting three rounds with this, we run out. I look down the corridor and see people outside calling to me, my dad and sister who have suddenly appeared as well. I go to them and see they have a massive apology cake saying 'I'm Sorry' in icing. We carry it around the back garden, and then back inside to Captain Hook, who is mourning the loss of his pirates. I go past the shower that is next to the kitchen thinking 'It's filthy, probably because there are pirates'.


How's that for warped imagination?

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shadow Government by Quiet2885 reviews
Futuristic AU. Unemployment is high, the streets are violent, and the people are beginning to panic. Trapped in a cult-like community, Christine only knows that the Spirit keeps her safe from the madness on the inside and the outside. But when the son of a Senator reenters her life, she will discover just how much power the Spirit has over her—and the entire country. Complete.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 217,828 - Reviews: 1047 - Favs: 271 - Follows: 163 - Updated: 8/18/2015 - Published: 2/24/2013 - Erik, Christine - Complete
Vampires in Candyland by Scaramouche Khashoggi reviews
The Cullen's have a new game and Bella is invited to come play. ONE SHOT
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 920 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2009 - Complete
Sweeney The Unicorn by Crazygirl99 reviews
No, he's not a unicorn. This is possibly the randomest thing in the world. Sweeney Todd and Charlie the Unicorn crossover. Yes, it can be done.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,397 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 5/8/2008
Luna by Dying Moon Of Luna reviews
The story following the young maiden, Elizabeth as she finds herself in a beautiful new world, far away from the modern day reality. However, her enemies are rising and her new home is threatened. Does she have the power to overcome this evil?
Fairy Tales - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 11,979 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/15/2008 - Published: 4/4/2008
To Be Loved By You by Ana Blackwood reviews
Hessian/OC Sequel to "Eclipse". The Hessian and his new love have a life together, but Lady Van Tassel and her accomplice return from the depths of Hell. What will happen?
Sleepy Hollow - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 26,262 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/1/2008 - Published: 3/2/2008
The Real Demon of Fleet Street by OuranManiac1 reviews
Sweeney notices his daughters change in behavior. She never talks to anyone and she spends most of her time on the roof talking to someone that is not there. He contributes her behavior to her lack of companionship...continues in announcement. One-Shot.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Horror/Mystery - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,245 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 3/26/2008 - Published: 3/24/2008
Haunted by S.M.Hoffman reviews
Toby doesn't believe in ghosts or that his shop is haunted, even if his son and wife and everyone else does. But then how can he explain why he sees Mr.Todd and Mrs.Lovett? COMPLETE
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 38,347 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 3/17/2008 - Published: 1/12/2008 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Let the Dream Descend reviews
For a year, Christine has been hidden from her world, learning to live in Erik's. Follow them as they learn how to cope in the aftermath of the abduction, as well as the duration of it. Modern day, mostly Leroux/ Kay based
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 35 - Words: 84,615 - Reviews: 180 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/16/2016 - Published: 4/9/2012
Gasping For Breath reviews
She knew him only as a loyal fan, a faithful viewer. She wasn't to know the depths of his obsession. Her faith is left shattered after meeting a strange masked man, and slowly Christine is pulled into the very depths of Hell. Extremely dark themes and sexual content, DubCon, BDSM, religious themes.
Phantom of the Opera - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,622 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Published: 12/28/2012
Swallows reviews
Benjamin Barker returned a different man, to find that it was not him alone who had gone through changes. Johanna hides in safety with Mrs Lovett as her guardian while Lucy waits locked away in her tower...
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,323 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 8/17/2010
The Chosen One reviews
There was a second Potter child, forgotten on the night of her parents death. Adopted by the infamous Bellatrix Lestrange, and lusted over by the filth of the Death Eaters, will the true Chosen One ever be revealed? Rated T for teenage sex later on
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 57 - Words: 127,152 - Reviews: 321 - Favs: 207 - Follows: 133 - Updated: 5/15/2011 - Published: 3/14/2009 - Complete
I'm Not Crazy reviews
One-shot. I'm not crazy. I'm really not. Very short story inside Mort's mind. First Secret Window story, please enjoy
Secret Window - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 608 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 2/13/2010 - Complete
Oh That Was Many Years Ago reviews
Benjamin Barker did die. Now Sweeney Todd must take his place. He tried to gain Lucy's love, but the honourable Judge Turpin stepped in. Seeking revenge, can Sweeney avenge himself and the man he sentenced to death? Can he cope? Or is it too much?
Sweeney Todd - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,771 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/29/2009 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Complete
Chase The Morning reviews
Amber Sweet will keep the throne for GeneCo, but only as long as Shilo can not be found. When she appears again, can Shilo hide from the life that Rotti tried to force upon her? Or can she hide long enough to chase the morning? Slight Grilo, only just
Repo! The Genetic Opera - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,372 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/21/2009 - Published: 2/15/2009 - Complete
When I Look At You reviews
Diane finds herself in peril in the streets of London, until saved by a mysterious man with dark hair. But why does he keep looking at her like that? Why does he take her to a pie shop in London? Why does he call her Lucy? Rated T for safety
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 46,411 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/12/2009 - Published: 12/14/2008
What I Deserve reviews
A short poem from Mrs Lovett's perspective. Mrs Lovett knew well enough that she didn't deserve Benjamin Barker, but Sweeney Todd is all she could have ever asked for.
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K - English - Angst/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 492 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/7/2009 - Complete
I'm Worthless Because Of You reviews
When Christian's debts become too much, he must send away his ward without education or experience. Where else can she go except for the Moulin Rouge to sell what little potential she had? Language and perhaps a sex warning in later chapters.
Moulin Rouge - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,742 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/6/2009 - Published: 12/28/2008
Wishing It Away reviews
Johanna was discovered that night, and Sweeney isn't going to give her up without a fight. Johanna thought she would feel the same way. She had always dreamed for a father, hadn't she? But is it really worth all of this death and hurting?
Sweeney Todd - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 37 - Words: 59,330 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 12/2/2008 - Published: 8/20/2008
The Seduction reviews
A one-shot songfic from the Dracula musical. Based on the song 'The Seduction'. Extremely short, but hopefully good! Please review!
Dracula - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 857 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/23/2008 - Complete
Revenge Is A Dish Best Served With Pie reviews
Sweeney Todd comes back to London to find that the whores are plentiful, the beggars are better and you acn't get enough fog. Welcome to the land of London!
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,848 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/19/2008 - Published: 7/19/2008 - Complete
Lost Destiny reviews
Jessie comes from an abusive home and history, and can scarcely believe when, in the middle of a storm, she stumbles across that strange mansion that never had revealed its secrets to her. Until now. Sorry, I suck at these summarys! Just read, please!
Edward Scissorhands - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 28,739 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/10/2008 - Published: 4/21/2008 - Complete
What is this Feeling? reviews
Songfic off What is this Feeling? from Wicked. Mrs Lovett and Mr Todd contemplate how they feel about each other, with Toby singing in the background like the little boy he is. Very bad, but hopefully you'll all read it!
Sweeney Todd - Rated: K - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 519 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Published: 6/7/2008 - Complete