Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.
Name: FireDeztiny :D
Age: Ha! Like hell I will tell you! (:
Last spotted: Somewhere on Earth xD
YAY!! welcome! welcome to my...
PROFILE OF DOOM!!
-cue scary music, flashing lights and evil laughter-
you know, you could at least pretend to be scared...
oh come on... is it that hard to just give one itty-bitty little 'Ahh'
FINE! if you wanna be that way...!
-sticks tongue out then stalks off angrily-
p.s. for those who really gave a little 'Ahh'... We-ell... Gee... ur one big coward...
#Flying With Vampires (Maximum Ride)
Would be writing...
#Umperfectly Perfect (Twilight)
#Sequel to Flying With Vampires
Don't piss me off, go find a bathroom
Friends are like buttcheeks, shit may come between them but they always stick together
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back
Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present
If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up!
Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil
Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it...
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?
Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes
Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Tell the truth and run.
Music is love in search of word.
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
How is it possible to have a civil war?
Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much
He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder.
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most
The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary
Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
Funny Lines From Maximum Ride
"We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?"
'I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer'
"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us.
'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.
"He's a snappy dresser."
"It would be patriotic of you to help your country"
"You were designed to be very smart, Max. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
"I know everything, as I continue to remind you."
"Nummy!" Gazzy said, poking the (bird)seeds with his finger. "Could I get some worms with this?"
"Nope, you stand out lika a fart in church."
Funny Lines from Twilight
Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...
Emmett: Fall down again, Bella?
'Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.'
White by Max
White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.
Try Not To Cry:
Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost
Please if you would,
This story is about a little girl that was abused.
My name is Sarah
Stop child abuse! Post this on your profile if you think that child abuse is a sick sick way of treating anyone.
She wants to see how many people get her poem.
Have you ever
Do you run through each day
Ever told your child,
When you run so fast to get somewhere
Life is not a
FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL COUNT.
Dear All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know -
This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will.
She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.
By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It's not even your money, just your time!
PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.
Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor
Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale i see my phone number
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it
Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
Yo mama so fat, we ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.
Yo Mama so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean...
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo Mama so stupid, she gave birth to you.
Yo Mama so stupid, she spent twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.
Yo Mama so stupid, I told her to buy a color TV, she came back and said "what color?"
Yo Mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.
Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.
Yo Mama is so stupid she married Yo Daddy!
Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.
Yo Mama so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
Yo Mama so stupid, she studied for a drug test.
Yo Mama so stupid, she tried to drown a fish!
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras
Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo Mama so ugly, she makes blind children cry.
Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."
Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.
Yo mama so ugly her reflection quit.
Yo mama so ugly ur dad first thought she was bigfoot.
Yo Mama so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.
Yo maa so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!
Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!
Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.
Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.
Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!
Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.
Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean.
Yo mama so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries!
Yo mama so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins.
Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Friend: Asks me for my number
Friend: Hides me from the cops
Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Find the guy...
On a bag of Fritos:
On a bar of Dial soap:
On some Swann frozen dinners:
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
On Nytol sleep aid:
On a Korean kitchen knife:
On a string of Christmas lights:
On a food processor:
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
On a Swedish chainsaw:
On a child's Superman costume:
You know you live in 2007 when...
Copy & Pastes
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If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, bAByBluEeYeS2008, FireDeztiny
If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile
If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile
If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.
If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.
If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.
92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off
If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profileIf you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile
If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!
If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.
If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.
If you are head over heels with Edward, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you sign your letters as "Mrs Edward Cullen", copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think Bella falling in love with two people at the same time is creepy, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are MAD!! at Jacob Black for kissing Bella and want to hunt him down and stab him with a strong enough knife that will not break upon pressure against his skin, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think Fang and Max are meant to be, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you check your back everyday for wings, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you think Iggy and Max is weird, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.
If you freaked out when Fang was kissing Max, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you are jealous of Max for kissing the almighty (and handsome) Fang, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.
If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile
If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever laughed for ten minutes straight, copy and paste this your profile.
If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.
If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.
If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann of Pirates of the Carribean are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.
If you think you're crazy, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have suddenly sang the Barney's theme song out of the blue, copy and paste this on your profile.
If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.