hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-03-08, id: 1541704, Profile Updated: 06-10-08
Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.

Name: FireDeztiny :D

Age: Ha! Like hell I will tell you! (:

Last spotted: Somewhere on Earth xD

YAY!! welcome! welcome to my...


-cue scary music, flashing lights and evil laughter-


you know, you could at least pretend to be scared...

oh come on... is it that hard to just give one itty-bitty little 'Ahh'

FINE! if you wanna be that way...!


-sticks tongue out then stalks off angrily-

p.s. for those who really gave a little 'Ahh'... We-ell... Gee... ur one big coward...


Currently Writing...

#Flying With Vampires (Maximum Ride)
What happens when the flock meets the Cullens and Bella? Will they be friends or foes? FAX BxE

Would be writing...

#Umperfectly Perfect (Twilight)
What if Bella was not Edward's singer? And that her mind could be read by Edward? What if everything was perfectly normal? Would things be perfect and normal? With Bella in the equation, one never knows...

#Sequel to Flying With Vampires
Might not happen so pray hard.

Funny Quotes...

Don't piss me off, go find a bathroom

Friends are like buttcheeks, shit may come between them but they always stick together

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present

If the heart is one of the strongest muscles, why is it so easy to break?

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up!

Behind every bitch is a guy who made her that way

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door

Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer.

My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it...

Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?

Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.

Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!

No, I don't have PMS. I just really hate you.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes

Let's flip a coin-heads we'll be together, tails we flip again.

Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.

Guys should be like lattes-rich, strong, and hot

Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Tell the truth and run.

Music is love in search of word.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

When life hand you lemons, throw those lemons right back at it and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much

He said I love you, I laughed and said sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something

You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh harder.

I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most

The only place where success comes before work is in a dictionary

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

Funny Lines From Maximum Ride

"We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?"
"She offered to cook breakfast."

'I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer'

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us.

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked.

"He's a snappy dresser."

"It would be patriotic of you to help your country"
"And it would be nice if the Easter Bunny were real."

"You were designed to be very smart, Max. We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing."
"And yet I still can't program my DVD player."

"I know everything, as I continue to remind you."

"Nummy!" Gazzy said, poking the (bird)seeds with his finger. "Could I get some worms with this?"
"What's for desert? Caterpillars?"
"Did they bring us a bunch of nesting material? Cause I'm beat."

"Nope, you stand out lika a fart in church."

Funny Lines from Twilight

Edward: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb...
Bella: What a stupid lamb.
Edward: What a sick, masochistic lion

Emmett: Fall down again, Bella?
Bella: No, Emmett, I punched a werewolf in the face

Bella: Edward?
Edward: Yes?
Bella: I'm betting on Alice.

'Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.'


White by Max

White is the colour of little bunnies with pink noses.
White is the colour of fluffy clouds fluffing their way across the sky.
White is the colour of soft-serve ice cream in a cone.
White is the colour of angel's wings and Angel's wings.
White is the colour of brand-new ankle socks fresh out of the bag.
White is the colour of crisp sheets in shmancy hotels.
White is the colour of every last freaking, gol-danged thing you see for miles and miles if you happen to be in Antarctica trying to save the world, which now you aren't so sure you can do because you feel like if you see any more whiteness--Wonderbread, someone's underwear, teeth--you will completely and totally lose your ever-lovin' mind and wind up pushing a grocery cart full of empty cans around New York City, muttering to yourself.

are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.

Try Not To Cry:

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great, huge crack.
Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!
When I went to school that day,
I never said good-bye.
I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.
When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,
And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.
Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,
And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.
And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,
And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best
Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest
Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass
Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.
But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.
And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try
I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.
Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest
When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could
please listen to me if you would,
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.
But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,
Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry to cancel the date.
I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true
And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,
Don't smash this on the ground.
If you pass this on,
Maybe people will cry,
Just keep this in your heart,
For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Now you have 2 choices,
1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are...

This story is about a little girl that was abused.
If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.
(Warning: I thought this was very sad)

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I starting to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
Murdered me.

Stop child abuse! Post this on your profile if you think that child abuse is a sick sick way of treating anyone.

Slow Dance
This is a poem written by a teenager with cancer.

She wants to see how many people get her poem.
It is quite the poem. Please pass it on.
This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital.
It was sent by a medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement

Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
Time is short.
The music won't

Do you run through each day
On the
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
Time is short.
The music won't

Ever told your child,
We'll do it
And in your haste,
Not see
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't

When you run so fast to get somewhere
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened gift...

Thrown away.

Life is not a
Do take it slower
Hear the
Before the song is over...


Dear All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know -
even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer.

This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will.

She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.

By you sending this to as many people as possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It's not even your money, just your time!


Dr. Dennis Shields, Professor
Dep artment of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx , New York

Yo Mama Jokes

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the new world

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale i see my phone number

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo mama so fat, we ran around her twice and got lost.

Yo mama so fat, at the zoo, the elephants started throwing her peanuts.

Yo Mama so fat, when she leaves the beach everybody shouts "The coast is clear."

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean...

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

Yo Mama so stupid, she gave birth to you.

Yo Mama so stupid, she spent twenty minutes looking at an orange juice box because it said concentrate.

Yo Mama so stupid, I told her to buy a color TV, she came back and said "what color?"

Yo Mama so stupid, she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go.

Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked out of a convertible car with the top down.

Yo Mama is so stupid she married Yo Daddy!

Yo Mama so stupid, she got locked in a meat locker and sweat to death.

Yo Mama so stupid, she got on an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.

Yo Mama so stupid, she studied for a drug test.

Yo Mama so stupid, she tried to drown a fish!

Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!

Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!

Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!

Yo mama so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"

Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K."

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo Mama so ugly, she makes blind children cry.

Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to the zoo, guy at the door said "Thanks for bringing her back."

Yo Mama so ugly, I took her to a haunted house and she came out with a job application.

Yo mama so ugly her reflection quit.

Yo mama so ugly ur dad first thought she was bigfoot.

Yo Mama so ugly, my dog took one look at her and ran away.

Yo maa so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away

Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died

Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it

Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs.

Yo mama so lazy she's got a remote control just to operate her remote!

Yo mama so lazy that she came in last place in a recent snail marathon.

Yo mama so dirty she has to creep up on bathwater.

Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean.

Yo mama so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries!

Yo mama so dirty that you can't tell where the dirt stops and she begins.

Random Stuff

Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away

Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "Dang, we screwed up"

Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me

Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"

Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number

Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place

Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are FOREVER...

Find the guy...
who calls you beautiful instead of hot,
who calls you back when you hang up on him,
who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat.
Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead,
who keeps your picture in his wallet,
who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants,
who holds your hand in front of all his friends,
who thinks your beautiful without makeup,
one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you,
the one who turns to his friends and says THATS HER!

Dumbest Instructions...
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

You know you live in 2007 when...
1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace.
4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.
6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.
7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.
8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.
9. You were too busy to notice number five.
10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.
11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.
12. Put this in your pro if you fell for it. You know you did.
13. your sad because you fell for it and think you have to put it on ur pro

Copy & Pastes

(\ /) (")_(")
Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination,
and come join the dark side.
(We have cookies!)

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe), I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep)VOLVO S60R,LoveMeForeverORLoveMeNever, EdwardEclipse, Alexz1jude, bAByBluEeYeS2008, FireDeztiny

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you love the rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies who are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you think Edward Cullen is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck fan-girl of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If whenever you see or hear the name "Edward" you freak out and have a small fit because you love him so much, and then people stare at you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen down the stairs and laughed because it's something Bella would do and then cried because Edward wasn't there to catch you, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

If you have ever tried blocking your thoughts about how georgous Edward Cullen is because you don't want said georgous Edward Cullen to hear, copy and paste this into your profileIf you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you are head over heels with Edward, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you sign your letters as "Mrs Edward Cullen", copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Bella falling in love with two people at the same time is creepy, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are MAD!! at Jacob Black for kissing Bella and want to hunt him down and stab him with a strong enough knife that will not break upon pressure against his skin, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Fang and Max are meant to be, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you check your back everyday for wings, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Iggy and Max is weird, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you freaked out when Fang was kissing Max, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are jealous of Max for kissing the almighty (and handsome) Fang, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this is your profile

If you've ever been standing straight up and suddenly fell down for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever laughed for ten minutes straight, copy and paste this your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann of Pirates of the Carribean are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabeth, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word, And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile.

If you think you're crazy, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have suddenly sang the Barney's theme song out of the blue, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Finding Home by piperchick reviews
Takes place after MR2.Max was gone. Four years have pass and now she's back. She can't hide from her secrets. And her biggest one may destroy them all. FAXNESS and some IggyxNudge
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 85,867 - Reviews: 1303 - Favs: 383 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 3/16/2014 - Published: 6/3/2007 - Max, Fang
One of Them by XxDracoMalfoy'sGirlxX reviews
All human. Bella's mom died when she was a year old. Bella grew-up with 5 protective older brothers. She goes away to a writing school in London. She comes back 3 years later. What happens when the school jock trys to win her affection and she hates him?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 20 - Words: 33,212 - Reviews: 735 - Favs: 560 - Follows: 343 - Updated: 7/7/2013 - Published: 4/22/2008 - Complete
A Second Chance by rachliz reviews
ALL HUMAN! Bella and Edward were best friends in Chicago until Bella had to move away with her mother. Now she is going to live in Forks with her father. What happens when she meets a blast fom the past. And how will she keep her secret from him? Find out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 46,634 - Reviews: 366 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 286 - Updated: 3/16/2013 - Published: 3/19/2008 - Complete
Black Oblivion by El Reino reviews
The flock turned against Maximum Ride for good. Six years later, she is deadly mean, and nothing you've ever seen before. Can she ever return to who she was? T for violence. Complete!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 47 - Words: 42,263 - Reviews: 700 - Favs: 147 - Follows: 136 - Updated: 8/25/2012 - Published: 9/8/2007 - Complete
I Hate Everything About You by hillroy reviews
He's the school player, and she's the new girl from Phoenix. He's a jerk, she's hardheaded. The last thing anybody expects is for these two to fall in love, especially since they undeniably hate eachother. All Human. OOC. BxE.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 15 - Words: 41,198 - Reviews: 713 - Favs: 501 - Follows: 696 - Updated: 6/11/2012 - Published: 3/10/2008
Wow! Is That Really Bella? by Gabriels-girl5035 reviews
Edward never returned in New Moon, Now 70 years later he’s engaged. When the family goes to Barcelona on vacation Edward may be in for a HUGE surprise!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 36,491 - Reviews: 854 - Favs: 580 - Follows: 443 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 1/5/2008 - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13061 - Favs: 6,133 - Follows: 2,787 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
12 Days Of Christmas by Penname.Of.Doom reviews
Max was taken away 8 years ago and this Christmas she escaped and she has found the Flock. But she isn’t exactly the person that they were expecting. She looks different: younger, older and birdier at the same time! Can she put her family back together?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 43,206 - Reviews: 229 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 10/15/2011 - Published: 2/1/2008 - Max, Fang
Betrayal by Chedea reviews
Fate pushes Bella into a tangle of an arranged marriage, an affair, werewolves, vampires, deceit, loss, pain, but most of all love. Does love really over come all obstacles or are some things simply not meant to be? Can Bella take fate into her own hands
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 143,831 - Reviews: 688 - Favs: 373 - Follows: 254 - Updated: 5/29/2011 - Published: 12/13/2007 - Complete
The Other Life by DesertTwilight reviews
ON HIATUS. It's been 15 years since Bella and Edward's relationship crumbled. An unexpected holiday meeting with Charlie Swan, his grandson, Jake, and Alice opens up old wounds and a mystery behind what happened to Bella after she left Edward. AU Human, OOC.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 60,595 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 8/30/2010 - Published: 9/10/2008
MR Bloodlust 2 : Queen of Hearts by heaven-angel-15 reviews
/FAXNESS/ Now that Fang is safe, Max just needs to wait out her bloodlust, and then everything will be fine. Until they find out the bloodlust has spread. And Lissa is...dying? ! And Fang's bloodlust is BACK ! ? /
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 76,315 - Reviews: 1680 - Favs: 474 - Follows: 340 - Updated: 5/12/2010 - Published: 6/7/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
Camarilla by Annilaia reviews
It was always just Bella and her mother, before Edward moved into town. Their group of friends have an amazing summer, full of adventures and disappointments. How many times will Bella reject Edward, before she realises they're made for each other. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 44,756 - Reviews: 887 - Favs: 442 - Follows: 533 - Updated: 1/24/2010 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Edward, Bella
The Outcast by todrownandburn reviews
Orphan at fifteen, with no friends or family, pregnant at sixteen, drunk, pierced, tattooed, smoking, doing drugs, breaking the law and killing people by seventeen. All HUMAN. R&R.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 19 - Words: 66,226 - Reviews: 749 - Favs: 362 - Follows: 315 - Updated: 12/24/2009 - Published: 4/19/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Win you Back by Minniluna reviews
Bella & Edward used to be bestfriends till Bella dated Jacob. But Edward loved Bella and never confessed. He treats her like dirt, and loses all hope. When Bella gets engaged can Edward win her heart? BXE All Human Slightly OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 37,854 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 9/29/2009 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Bella, Edward
Relocation by ObviouslyObsessed reviews
Max and her flock are captured and relocated. The scientists have taken their memories. They are sent to live in different towns and attend a normal school. What happens when Fang moves to the same school as her? Can she remember? FAX!Was WANNABE-AUTHOR92
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 50 - Words: 95,502 - Reviews: 1764 - Favs: 404 - Follows: 240 - Updated: 9/5/2009 - Published: 8/30/2007 - Complete
Unread Messages by xxsparklesnick reviews
Sequel to You Got Love! If Isabella Swan thought last year was crazy, she's about to be surprised. With Alice's baby on the way, a wayward best friend, visiting cousins and a boyfriend who seems determined to get a ring on her finger, what's a girl to do?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 38,095 - Reviews: 1804 - Favs: 892 - Follows: 1,275 - Updated: 8/10/2009 - Published: 8/28/2008
TwilightMaximum Ride Crossover by iMbEtTiNgOnAlIcE357 reviews
The Flock and the Cullens struggle with their unique secrets.
Crossover - Maximum Ride & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 6,378 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 3/13/2008
The Vampire of the Opera by Madame Meg reviews
Bella is kind, smart, pretty and living the perfect life. Until Edward Cullen comes along and kidnaps her, that is. Edward is cruel, miserable, in love with Bella Swan and isn't about to let her go that easily. Re-make of The Phantom of the Opera. AU.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 53,425 - Reviews: 1266 - Favs: 746 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 5/3/2009 - Published: 3/3/2008 - Bella, Edward
Fates Intertwined by Crazy Twilight Lover reviews
He's mocked her and bullied her, and now she wants her revenge. But of course, things don't exactly go as planned when the situation suddenly involves mind-controlling vamps and vengeful spirits. And maybe a little bit of love. EXB AU Renamed Hiatus
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 21,979 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 137 - Follows: 198 - Updated: 3/8/2009 - Published: 5/26/2008 - Bella, Edward
Time Can't Heal by joyful-soul3 reviews
It's been more than six years since Edward left. Bella is married to Jacob, but her hole is still there, and she's mildy going insane with everything that's happened. What will happen to her when Jacob imprints?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 35,940 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 1/31/2009 - Published: 4/27/2008 - Bella, Edward
Agent Max by Fightingrose reviews
Maximum Ride is working for the government, without the flock, but when her cover is compromised, she is sent to a safe house, right next door to the flock. Did I mention that the flock turned Max over to Itex? Oh, must've slipped my mind.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 30,517 - Reviews: 430 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 1/29/2009 - Published: 4/16/2008 - Complete
Diary of a secret crush II: Beautiful Disaster by Delima Rose reviews
Bella’s just turned 18, she has a hot boyfriend who doesn‘t seem to mind that she‘s a walking hazard. Perfect life yeah? WRONG! Because Edward is ready to pack up and leave... Full summary inside! SEQUEL TO DIARY OF A SECRET CRUSH:UNREQUITED LOVE. R&R! AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 81,223 - Reviews: 363 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 1/24/2009 - Published: 7/25/2008 - Bella, Edward
Coming to Terms by Littlest Cinnaminion reviews
Name change from Guilt Epiphany and Love. "You know how when you supposedly love someone, everything around you fades and its only you and the person? Same goes for hating them. Only you feel pretty violent and you see red, too." Fax, of course in the end
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,270 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 1/22/2009 - Published: 3/15/2008 - Complete
The Impossibility of Surviving by Simply Emma reviews
AU: Bella was in the wrong place at the wrong time and ends up locked away from the world in a basement with very little hope of escaping, that is until Edward Masen stumbles upon her case. Is survival really ever possible though after all that? All human
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 30,239 - Reviews: 346 - Favs: 164 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 12/19/2008 - Published: 4/11/2008 - Bella, Edward
Edward! Edward! by Marina Cullen reviews
Edward leaves Bella. Then she falls for someone. But then gets kidnapped. By who though..BxE don't worry there's no Jacob.Oh...It takes place when Edward leaves Bella in New Moon...Review please!
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Drama/Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,976 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 12/14/2008 - Published: 5/1/2008
Once Friends, Now What? by Just Call Me Mrs Cullen reviews
Bella and Edward were childhood friends, but Bella moved away. 6 years later they meet again at college. Bella is no longer the tomboy she once was and Edward has become quite the ladies man. What happens when they reunite? ALL HUMAN Full summary inside
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 93,523 - Reviews: 4273 - Favs: 2,749 - Follows: 1,454 - Updated: 10/20/2008 - Published: 2/10/2008 - Complete
Summer of my Soldier by Emmeline Rose reviews
It is the year 1939, and life is perfect for the newlywedded Edward and Bella. Too perfect. When World War II breaks out and a draft calls Edward into duty, their lives are shattered. What will Bella do when Edward's letters suddenly come to an end?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 14 - Words: 33,834 - Reviews: 158 - Favs: 169 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 9/21/2008 - Published: 8/21/2008 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Way Things Are Supposed To Be by PopItLikeAPopTart reviews
It all starts when Fang leaves the flock to destroy Itex on his own, bringing the romance we all know exists to an abrupt end. 9 years later, Max just isn't the same, even though the danger is supposed to be over. Suddenly, it all just come back again.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 24 - Words: 58,402 - Reviews: 167 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 2/27/2008 - Complete
Best Friends Forever? Not revised by VonThunder reviews
When Edward moves to Forks Bella is crushed. Even though they stay in touch, Bella feels like Edward isn't telling her something. When Bella's mom dies in a car crash, it's off to Forks too. Who's the Player with bronze hair? AU -NOT the revised version!-
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 18,532 - Reviews: 315 - Favs: 286 - Follows: 165 - Updated: 9/12/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
All Over Again by yayme2012 reviews
An incident in Volterra leaves Bella without a single memory of Edward. :His intense eyes burned into me. “I’m sorry, do you know me or something?” I turned, unable to stand the silence any longer. “I was about to ask you the same thing,” he said.: Non AU
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 15 - Words: 18,052 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 9/12/2008 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward
Flyleaf by COMMA OF THOUGHT reviews
Edward is a player. Bella has had a hard knock life and is the lead singer of the band Flyleaf. Put these two togather and you have a hell of a story! ALL HUMAN. T for now.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,903 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 126 - Updated: 9/10/2008 - Published: 4/30/2008
Little Pink Envelope by Fall Down Again Bella reviews
One of those typical, Bella/Edward one-night stand and getting pregnant stories, but very original plot! Bella knows Edward's name but he doesn't know hers. What happens when they meet up again five years later? All human.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 33,854 - Reviews: 2195 - Favs: 2,246 - Follows: 704 - Updated: 9/6/2008 - Published: 8/11/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Topaz Eyes by SimonAndSimone reviews
When Edward leaves Bella is changed and they meet up again at school. Edward doesn't know Bella at first and both of them are very different. And has Bella found someone else or not? RxR T for later chapters/just in case.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,607 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 8/2/2008 - Published: 5/2/2008
Diary of a secret crush: Unrequited Love:COMPLETE! by Delima Rose reviews
New in town, new school, new faces, Bella is the new girl, and nobody seems to like her. Then she spots Edward Cullen on her first day. Hot, smirky, and messy haired Edward. It's love at first sight! But he doesnt seem to realize that she exist! ALL HUMAn
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 68,207 - Reviews: 326 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 7/25/2008 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Complete
Ophelia? by M. Love reviews
Bella commits suicide after Edward leaver her, she thinks oblivion will take her. But when she meets the Three Fates and is granted one wish and one lynx, everything changes. She is given a new life and name, a new boy and an old love that will never die.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 31,445 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 7/17/2008 - Published: 4/24/2008
Warfare by the-Upside-Of-Down reviews
the flock never found each other and were split up when they were little, never knowing the powers they with held. on Max's 16th birthday she sees a guy she feels oddly drawn en to. This is what i think would happen if the flock had never become the flock
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/7/2008 - Published: 5/5/2008
A New Life by lalalaughter101 reviews
Edward leaves, Bella gets changed unintentionally. As a newborn, she goes to the Volturi and meets a new challenge that involves a reunion of the past. Better than it sounds...BXE eventually
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,300 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/18/2008 - Published: 3/28/2008
Mystery With Black Wings by boopboopglee reviews
In this story Max and Fang have plans for eachother and the flock, that is until a new enemy finds their beach hideaway. Max is ripped away from them and held captive for 2 years.But when she comes back does Fang want what he wanted then? Find out HERE
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 24 - Words: 30,947 - Reviews: 503 - Favs: 119 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 3/19/2008 - Published: 6/18/2007
Flying With Vampires reviews
.:MR/TWILIGHT CROSSOVER:. A boy falling out of the sky is bad enough. No, wait scratch that. A WINGED boy falling out of the sky is really bad... The flock and the Cullens cross paths! What trouble will brew from this meeting? FAX BxE GIVEN UP. sorry.
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 18,223 - Reviews: 352 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 108 - Updated: 10/14/2008 - Published: 4/7/2008
Manager of:
Community: Maximum Ride & Twilight Crossovers
Focus: Books Maximum Ride