David Macintyre
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Joined 01-14-02, id: 154177
Author has written 11 stories for Sonic the Hedgehog.

NOTE:

This profile is about four years old but I don't intend to change it as I'm not currently writing new fanfiction. If you want to write to me about something please remember I'm no longer 15 years old and haven't thought about fanfiction in a few years.

I am David Macintyre. This is not my real name, but it's all you need to know.

I am also a pirate, and anyone who tries to argue otherwise will have their throat cut. Arrrrr.

I write dark fiction. I can easily say that everything I write is better than your 'random' or 'insane' humor story. That is because I'm smarter than you, simply enough. Until you pull your head out of your ass and stop assuming that (character) is (made up word, or hit in the face) by (random object fish, cupcake, bottle of soda, whatever) passes for good writing, this will remain the fact. If you hate my style of writing you are wrong and stupid. No, you are not entitled to your opinion, because you probably consider your opinions to be facts, whether or not you want to admit it. If you truly hatenot just dislike or are indifferentthe fiction itself there's a high chance you're wrong and stupid.

I write mostly for the area of Sonic the Hedgehog, but lately I've been trying to move away from fanfiction to work on my
own literature. I have a few short stories in the works that you guys probably won't see. Assuming you care.

I am the kind of person who, if appointed head of Sonic Team, would turn the games into something less like Mario or Dragon Ball Z and into something more like Fight Club, Vanilla Sky or Memento (my three favorite movies), if that's any indication. I like to make films in my spare time. It's a fun exercise.

I write what I think are 'real' stories. I define real stories as having:
1. A plot and acceptable (decent) story. Originality DOES matter, no matter what you assholes think.
2. Character development.
3. Feeling and drive behind the words being written. Not bullshit that you threw together in five seconds.
4. A conclusion. Plot twists are a plus.
5. Things with summaries and a title, written by someone who uses a NAME.
An example of my work in this case: The Final Step.

I define 'n00b' stories, the kinds that really chap my ass, as:
1. Mishmashes of badly spelled words that sacrifice plot and development for dry, unintelligent jokes and slapstick, or are just poorly written garbage that the author tries to pass off as some kind of staple literature.
2. Blatant, repetitive character moulds and clichés that are never unique to their host.
3. Stories written by someone who obviously measures emotion by how heavy they crapped their pants laughing at their own childish jokes (feeling?whats that lol rofl!) or just doesn't bother at all. Or is so out of touch with describing emotion that they just shouldn't be making their work public.
4. The ones that get so many reviews from other 8-year-olds that a needless sequel is crapped out within a week or so, which is usually an even more godawful bucket of tripe.
5. Crap that says "I suck at summaries lol rofl just read it its really good PLEEEEEASSSEE review!", with a title like "Sonics ultra way past cool mall addventure!" that are written by someone called "Soniclover692000" or "Magnolifrutia Prower-Rose, kidnahog from the future". I swear half the fancharacters nowadays sound like something out of a Lord of the Rings fanfiction, and authors with names that sound like something from a bad fantasy novel tend to be really bad.
Example of my own work in this case: Kung Fused (exempt from rule #5.)

Finally I think one of the lower forms of n00bishness comes when you decide to rewrite (bastardize) a movie, book, game or otherwise but simply replace the character's names with "Sonic," "Tails", and etc. I've seen people who do NOTHING but this, and it just proves that some wannabe writers don't have an original bone in their body.

I suggest extreme caution when creating a fan character (for my own humble tips on this, see my tutorial at Stephen Zacharus' site the Graffiti Wall: graffitiwall.tripod.com). Self insertion fics are dumb, end of story. The story itself could be good (Falconess' "An Author's Nightmare" for instance), but personally I think putting yourself into the story is immature and a bad idea. If you have to do it, make it metaphorical or symbolic or some shit. I'm gonna be quiet now so I don't look like an idiot.

That is all I have to say for the time being, I think. If you feel bored or want to yell at me for any reason, add me to MSN: cheesypickupline@hotmail.com

Also know that I will always accept anonymous reviews, and will never, ever block reviewsto do so is chickenshit, and most of the site's users nowadays use it to make sure they receive nothing but blind praise, usually from their friends.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my cutlass needs to be walked. Arrrr!

Personal note from me for 'Ryu Gunslinger' and 'Enyon the Origin'get off your high horses and go away. You're obviously too close-minded to understand a goddamn thing I say or write, but you continue to pick at my words (and harangue Vincent and Nazza) and offer completely unhelpful, extremely abusive comments. Nobody cares, cut the bullshit and move on with your lives.

Last One Standing by Reiya Inc reviews
What would you do if everything you had and were was taken from you? Rouge reflects upon death and how it's become a part of her life.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,930 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/24/2002 - Rouge
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Nightly reviews
Every night, he would shift the bed four feet and look through the hole in the floor, at the young woman in the apartment below...
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,150 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/15/2004
Mr Sandman reviews
The value of a circle.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,188 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/6/2003
December reviews
A security guard assigned to guard Sonic between the 13th and 25th of december comes down with a mysterious case of amnesia. While the season's events unfold around him, something deeper starts to worry him....(Received 3rd place in Zacharus' contest.)
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,800 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 12/12/2002
ApPaRiTiOn reviews
After the ARK incident, Sonic takes a vacation on Angel Island with Knuckles to unwind-- only to find it's not quite as lonely as he first perceived. (Update: Stephen Zacharus' halloween contest has now closed. ApPaRiTiOn recieved Honorable Mention.)
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 1 - Published: 10/11/2002
The Final Step reviews
Living the lonely life of the guardian has become too much for Knuckles to bear any longer. His visits with his friends start to lose their uplifting effect. His dark reality closes its grip on him, while his own hold on reality begins to loosen...
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 41,923 - Reviews: 176 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/9/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002
Her Choice reviews
A little thing about a lot of things. Rated PG, but best to be read if you can relate to most teen problems. One to grow on, hopefully.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,249 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/31/2002
Because You Like It, aka Thespian Zacharus reviews
See, one evening I decided I needed a break from writing the Final Step sequel, and belted out this for a laugh. Sonic author and playwright Stephen Zacharus has a nasty encounter with Shadow on the opening night of his newest musical.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,850 - Reviews: 7 - Published: 8/18/2002
Stop the Madness! reviews
Our hero, Sonic the hedgehog, speaks out against a very real, very serious, and above all very irritating problem-- the over abundance of ask fics. --THE ASK FIC MENACE HAS BEEN ANNIHILATED, but this fic will remain for 'historical value'.--
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,294 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/2/2002
By A Single Thread reviews
Really, it's impossible to summarize one of the people we've all come to know and love-- or hate-- and the unrelenting pursuit of Sonic's affection. We've all hoped it would turn out for the best... but hope can only go so far.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,404 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/13/2002
KUNG FUSED 2 reviews
SHADOW HAS RETURNED-- of course. Kung fu master Sonic realizes this when Shadow goes on another rampage through town-- this time to be joined by Big the Cat, the greatest wrestler in all of Mexico. Meanwhile Heihachi of Tekken hatches an evil plot.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,399 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 1/19/2002
KUNG FUSED reviews
Sonic and Shadow, kung fu masters, are thrown into a conflict of epic proportions and cheesy cliché. Their battle wages across an entire city, numerous movies and tasteless humor, and the fanfiction.net Sonic section. Warning-- heavy amounts of n00b.
Sonic the Hedgehog - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,791 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Published: 1/15/2002