R-I-C-A-R-D
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Joined 04-08-08, id: 1546871, Profile Updated: 05-21-11
Author has written 37 stories for Star Wars, Vampire, Mass Effect, Hitman, and Dragon Age.

Now updated for 2011!

According to Wikipedia, the population of Australia is 20 gazillion and Bob Katter has declared himself Supreme Overlord, renaming the state of Queensland 'Katter Country.'

Also, you shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet.

For those who care and are still reading this (you must be really bored) my hobbies include:

Gaming, playing electric guitar. With an actual instrument. Do not get me started on air guitar. And finally, wait for it, writing fanfiction.

Five Useless Random Quotes

1. Just once I'd like to ask a person for help and have them say 'Sure! Let's go! Right now! No strings!' - Commander Shepard, Mass Effect 2

2. I did not have sexual relations with that woman. - Sure you didn't, former US president Bill Clinton.

3. I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar. - Wash, Serenity

4. Stop staring at my breasts! Morrigan to Leliana, Dragon Age: Origins

5. Enkindle this! Blasto, Mass Effect 2

The Adventures of Slattern and Prig by Piazzolla Pie reviews
As a last resort, Aveline is forced to turn to Isabela for help when Kirkwall's answer to Jack the Ripper begins stalking the streets of Hightown. *Aveline/Isabela/Merrill* No, NOT like that! Although... Okay, probably not like that.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,538 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/20/2011 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Aveline V., Isabela
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Tales From the Inquisition reviews
The untold story of the Inquisitor and his allies as they battle Fade rifts, demons, Venatori, Red Templars and thousand year old darkspawn magisters. It's the Inquisition but not as you know it.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 20,275 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/28 - Published: 2/27
Strictly Off The Record reviews
Join Battle Space reporter Diana Allers for an exclusive 'behind the scenes' look at day to day life aboard the SR-2 Normandy. Warning: May contain traces of randomness, inanity and humour.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,199 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 9/28/2012 - Published: 9/22/2012
Perfect Storm reviews
The cycle begins anew as the Reapers begin the destruction of all galactic life. The hopes of an entire galaxy rest on the crew of the SSV Normandy.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,948 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/30/2012 - Published: 3/26/2012
The Darkest Days are Yet To Come reviews
A random collection of unrelated scenes and ficlets inspired by Mass Effect and the soon to be released Mass Effect 3. "It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here." - Eliza Cassan, Deus Ex: Human Revolution
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,563 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 12/30/2011 - Shepard (F)
Bethany the Grey reviews
Seeking to atone for past misdeeds, a repentant Hero of Ferelden takes Bethany under her wing, hoping to make of her a better warden than she herself is. Tabris/Bethany friendship.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,892 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/15/2011 - Published: 5/1/2011 - Bethany H., Tabris
Tales Untold reviews
In relating the tale of the Champion of Kirkwall to Seeker Cassandra, Varric may have...neglected to mention a few unimportant details. Here the author speculates on what Hawke and company may have seen and done beyond what was told in Varric's tale.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 11 - Words: 24,073 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 5/22/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Hawke (M), Isabela
Through Her Eyes reviews
The Illusive Man assigned Kelly Chambers to the SR-2 Normandy to monitor the crew...and Shepard. This is her story, through her eyes.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 35,822 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/30/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Kelly C., Shepard (F) - Complete
Dear Diary reviews
The inner-most thoughts of the Normandy's crew of misfits is revealed when Chambers suggests they begin recording diary entries.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,907 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 10/9/2010 - Published: 9/2/2010
So Does it End reviews
Inspired by the 'disagreement' between Jack and Miranda in Mass Effect 2, this is a look at how things between Jack and Miranda may have played out following the events in the game.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,313 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/25/2010 - Jack, Miranda L. - Complete
Hearts and Minds reviews
A loosely connected series of scenes exploring the relationships between Commander Shepard and her Cerberus 'allies' from varying perspectives.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 40,682 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 6/18/2010 - Published: 2/20/2010 - Shepard (F) - Complete
Tales Out of School reviews
A light-hearted look at goings-on within the Circle of Magi. It's life in the Circle Tower. But not as you know it. Set some time before the start of events in Dragon Age.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 10,136 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 12/26/2009
Stories From Around The Campfire reviews
In between battling darkspawn and assembling an army to fight the archdemon, the Grey Wardens and their companions enjoy some relaxed moments around the campfire. These are some of their stories.
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,064 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 12/23/2009 - Published: 12/1/2009 - Tabris, Leliana - Complete
ReGifted: A Very Mass Effect Christmas reviews
As a Spectre, Shepard faced down perilous threats to the galaxy's very survivial. That doesn't compare to the horror that is Christmas shopping...
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,964 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/2/2009 - Shepard (F) - Complete
Storm Cycle reviews
When a human colony on the edges of the Terminus Systems apparently forgets how to answer the phone, the Council send the Normandy to investigate. Semi-sequel to Storm Warning.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 10 - Words: 32,088 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/19/2009 - Published: 9/19/2009
Complications reviews
A classic urban legend comes to life in the Wards of the Citadel and somebody close to Shepard falls victim. Work in progress. Reviews welcome.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 17,336 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/20/2009 - Published: 8/11/2009
Gone Fishin' reviews
Williams takes Shepard on a nice, relaxing fishing trip in the woods. What could possibly go wrong? Revised.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,285 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/6/2009 - Ashley W., Shepard (F) - Complete
Three Histories reviews
Three different Shepards, three diffrent histories. All in one volume for your reading pleasure! Reviews appreciated.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 5,767 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/30/2009 - Published: 7/29/2009 - Shepard (F)
Storm Warning reviews
An OC from a previous fic, Fade To Black, receives an airing and a fleshing-out of her background in this series of shortish chapters. Some canon characters appear as well. Check the notes in the first chapter for full details. Please R & R if you like.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 27,270 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/24/2009 - Published: 7/11/2009
More Days of Our Normandy Lives reviews
Another series of unconnected scenes with a view to showing the wackier side of life aboard the galaxy's favourite fastest ship in the fleet. In this series, Shepard receives the shock of her life, Liara learns how to throw a punch and more. Now updated.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,956 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 7/22/2009 - Published: 9/6/2008
Random Acts of Virmire reviews
Another take on 'the choice' and my first attempt at a parody. Special thanks to Knightfall whose recent fic on the subject put an idea in my head.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,193 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Published: 7/16/2009 - Shepard (F) - Complete
Catapult reviews
When Commander Shepard's older sister unexpectedly arrives on the Citadel, Shepard and Williams are catapulted into an adventure of not quite epic proportions but still fairly big. Rated M for some language and adult references. Reviews welcome. Complete.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 61,054 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 5/6/2009 - Published: 4/4/2009 - Shepard (F), Ashley W. - Complete
Fade To Black reviews
Post Sovereign. Captured by batarians, Shepard finds herself an unwilling participant in a brutal form of 'sport.' Her very survival is at stake as her captors aim to increase falling ratings. Complete.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 33,785 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/27/2009 - Published: 1/28/2009 - Shepard (F) - Complete
A Very Mass Effect Valentine's Day reviews
Shepard defeated Saren and the geth. Now he faces perhaps his greatest challenge: finding a Valentine's Day gift for his girlfriend.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,559 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/11/2009 - Shepard (F), Ashley W. - Complete
A Very Mass Effect Christmas reviews
It's Christmas Eve on the Citadel and an extremely unenthused Shepard is dragged off to sing Christmas carols by Chief Williams. Will the Commander embrace the spirit of the occasion?
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,400 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/18/2008 - Complete
Mass Effect: The Choices We Make reviews
A fanfic attempting to reveal the thoughts, feelings and motivations Shepard may have had regarding certain plot points during the campaign - I wanted to try to 'get inside' Shepard's head and explore why and how certain choices were made.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,637 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/12/2008 - Complete
Mass Effect: Old Soldiers reviews
Twenty years after the defeat of Sovereign, Shepard is forced out of retirement when a criminal group threatens the one closest to her.
Mass Effect - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,831 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/4/2008 - Complete
Mass Effect: Elevation reviews
A series of scenes mostly revolving around the many and long elevator rides in Mass Effect.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,508 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 13 - Published: 10/2/2008 - Complete
Kindred: Private Investigator reviews
Twenty years after her Embrace, a Kindred is a successful private investigator. These are some of her cases. Set around 2023.
Vampire - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,570 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 9/14/2008 - Published: 9/13/2008 - Complete
Vampire: No Rest for the Damned reviews
A Kindred attempts to take a nice holiday but discovers that there is no vacation from the Jyhad and is pulled into a night of 'festivities' when members of the Camarilla go rogue.
Vampire - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 11,944 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Complete
Hitman The Doctor is In reviews
In Salzburg, Agent 47 makes a housecall on a patient and administers his own brand of medicine to his target.
Hitman - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,814 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Complete
Vampire: Night of The Damned
Somebody's raising zombies in the city and the Camarilla and Anarchs are forced to band together to combat the threat. An assassination attempt against a powerful Ventrue leads to a confrontation with the Sabbat.
Vampire - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,952 - Favs: 1 - Published: 7/30/2008 - Complete
All in a Night's Work reviews
Recently sired Toreador Morgan picks up the phone and is drawn into the rescue of a young woman abducted by mobsters. Single-handedly, she attempts a rescue.
Vampire - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,085 - Reviews: 1 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
Mass Effect: Days of Our Normandy Lives reviews
A series of unconnected stories set during the Mass Effect timeline, pre-Virmire. Among them, Liara discovers Elvis, Wrex makes a new friend and Shepard displays unique gunnery skills, among others.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,926 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 13 - Published: 7/26/2008 - Complete
Mass Effect: Reborn reviews
An Aliens/Mass Effect fanfic. Shepard and the Normandy are sent to investigate a research station on Earth's Moon that the Citadel Council has lost contact with. Shepard discovers that the aliens are not the real danger.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,203 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/18/2008 - Complete
Dark Awakenings reviews
Inspired by the Vampire: Bloodlines PC game. The first few nights of a newly sired Kindred, as she is sent on a trial by the new Prince.
Vampire - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,845 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/9/2008 - Complete
Revan's Galactic Acquistions reviews
Sequel to Casino at the Edge of the Galaxy. Revan & Co return to Telos and after some housecleaning, Revan begins his business activities on Citadel Station. But the unexpected return of an old companion threatens to end everything.
Star Wars - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,567 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/29/2008 - Complete
The Casino at the edge of the Galaxy reviews
After defeating Kreia on Malachor V, an extremely drunk Exile encounters Revan and learns the real truth about his mysterious absence from the galaxy since the end of the Jedi Civil War.
Star Wars - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,320 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 10 - Published: 4/15/2008 - Complete