Allo all. I'm just getting into this fanfiction writing business and endevor to entertain to the best of my abilities.

Age: older than some younger than others.

Sex: hehe, may your imagination guide you.

Harry Potter:

I don't much care if there is are het/slash/no pairings so long as the story is well written and Harry isn't a cringing, whining, weak-willed pussy.

Elementary Calculations:

This story is not abandoned. Now that I actually have a job again and am not in danger of being evicted, I can work on this. School is also out for now, so I have time. Give me a week or two to dust off the next chapter, re-familiarize myself with the story, and do some editing. Thanks to everyone who is still with me after the last few months.

Naruto: this is a link to something that I found infinitly amusing.

http:///art/Naruto-Deidara-Lives-63271750

Quotes:

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

The optimist proclaims we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears it is true.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it everytime I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

I hear voices and they don't like you

Smile -- it confuses the enemy

I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas

Insanity is a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Who ever said anything was possible never tried nailing jello to a tree.

"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell cant paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that paper up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say "oh shit , I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, asshole."

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He/she won't expect it back.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Buy one for the price of two and get the second one free!

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature.

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together

The road to hell is ordered by the righteous, planned by the well-meaning, and paved with their good intentions.

Always be who you are. Those who matter don't care and those who care don't matter.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.

The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff...I laugh again.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

That which doesn't kill you...will probably try again.

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist. If you are scared now more than ever of dentists by learning this fact, put this on your profile.