Jacobismyloverr840
hide bio
Follow . Favorite
Joined 04-09-08, id: 1547702, Profile Updated: 04-19-09
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

My names Brandi.

You could say I am obsessed with Vampires...And dont forget Werewolves. What can i say? Stephanie Meyer got me hooked=)

I love the Twilight series. I will mostly be writing stories for that. yeah...

so any ideas? Lemme know.

Fave movies...

1. Without a Paddle

2. Twilight

3. Pirates of The Carribean

4. Harry Potter

5. Dark Knight

Fave Books

1. Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse/Breaking Dawn

2. You Suck

3. The boyfriend list

4. Mediator series

5. A Walk To Remember

Fave Pairings

1. Jacob x Renesmee

2. Jasper x Alice

3. Edward x Bella

4. Rosalie x Emmett

5. Carlisle x Esme

92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your ass off.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binders withe doodles/love notes/comfessions of love/any other Twilght related thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you're at by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out copies of all the twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you go to the most expensive store within fifty miles of your home, try on almost every peice of clothing, then walk out with nothing, saying none of it was your style. Crazy is when you break a bone and laugh. Crazy is when you start saying different names from random shows wit your friend just to see who knows more names.Crazy is when you get so cought up by the characters in Twilight, you actually start to believe they are real. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your vampire boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Jacob Black is hot...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this and put it in your profile

If you think the Coa-coa Puff Turkey Bird thing shoud go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile

If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door

I live in a world of Rainbows, hearts and Unicorns. The rainbow is only in shades of grey and black, The hearts are broken and bleeding and the unicorn are cutting them selves with their horns... All in all it's my perfect life=D

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

if you are addicted to copy and pastes, copy and paste this into your profile

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

"When all else fails blow shit up."

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.

Although, chainsaw beats scissors, paper, AND rock!

"I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly"

You say tomato...I say fuck you

Memorable Quotes.

"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else." --Will Rogers

"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the 'up' button." --Sam Levenson

I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it." --Unknown

"Perfection is a waste of time." --Kim De Coite

"The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable." --Unknown

That is the truest sign of insanity--insane people are always sure they are fine. It is only the sane people that are willing to admit that they are crazy." --Nora Ephron

“You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.” - Unknown

“Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.” - Unknown

“He who laughs last didn't get it.” - Unknown

"Love your enemies! It really pisses them off"

"When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets."

"I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder."

"When life gives you lemons throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes."

"You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music." - Jim Carrey

"Join the dark side (we have cookies)"

Random!

To put it nicely, I hope you choke

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

i hate it wen the voices argue wit my imaginary friends

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that mother fucker upside the head

Questions.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Can vegitarians eat animal crackers?

More Random

When people say, "I’m so tired it's not even funny" or "my head hurts so much it's not even funny", why would it even be funny in the first place?
Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat Macaroni?
If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?
Can a person choke and die on a life savor?

What happens if you're on an airplane and you say "hi" to a friend who's named Jack?
What would happen if: Everyone was to flush their toilet at the same time?
If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?
Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?
If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?
If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?
- Unknown

In case you need further proof that the human race is
doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of
Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside.
(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how??)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
"Do not turn upside down".
Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating".
(And you thought??...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction
accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head
colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause
drowsiness.
(And I am taking this...because?)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use".
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)

On packet of Nobbys'
Peanuts:-
"Warning: contains nuts.
(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company; I blame the parents for
this one:
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable
you to fly".

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or
genitals".
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Oh him? He just has the most ah-dorable eyes you could ever fall for, and the cutest smile that will take your breath away And he has the ability to make you laugh when the world just wants you to frown.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

I'm the kind of person that walks into a door and apologizes.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

I'm Not Falling For You by ronOReds reviews
Bella get's picked to be on a dating reality show! How will the guys show their love and who will be the last one standing!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,235 - Reviews: 3283 - Favs: 2,567 - Follows: 733 - Updated: 11/12/2014 - Published: 12/17/2007 - Complete
Welcome to Drama Academy by twilightluver001 reviews
All the girls in East Coast Academy wanted one thing- the king, the playboy of the school,EDWARD CULLEN. What happens when the beautiful Isabella arrives and Edward is determined to make her his? Will she fall for the playboy? All HUMAN.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,055 - Reviews: 13049 - Favs: 6,192 - Follows: 2,782 - Updated: 11/7/2011 - Published: 12/31/2007 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Cullenary Educaton: Forks Sex Ed by MarcyJ reviews
Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 22,726 - Reviews: 2127 - Favs: 3,541 - Follows: 1,649 - Updated: 8/28/2009 - Published: 4/2/2007
Never play Truth or Dare with a vampire by Red Giraffes reviews
Yep! Another Truth or Dare story! What else is there to say beside's that one might die at the end of the day? Now COMPLETE!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 23 - Words: 19,196 - Reviews: 390 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/28/2009 - Published: 7/2/2007 - Complete
Heaven or Iowa? by BelleMoon reviews
Jacob Black has finally stopped running but in the small town of Fairfield, Iowa, will he meet the girl that he has unknowingly waiting for? I am a new writer and want your criticism. PLEASE RxR!*COMPLETE!*
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 27,588 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/1/2009 - Published: 5/2/2008 - Jacob - Complete
Jacob Black a story from Jacob Black's pov by Bethy Ramone reviews
So what would happen if Jacob lost all control? If he couldn't stand the site of Bella trowing everything away? What if he and Edward were at war...
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 11 - Words: 2,845 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/11/2008 - Published: 5/24/2008
Waiting in the Wings by marybelle reviews
Bella didn't jump alone. Edward hasn't come back... yet. Mid New Moon. Not like other cliches, you won't be disappointed. Sort of a mix of JxB and ExB. Now Complete!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 22 - Words: 37,467 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 9/27/2008 - Published: 2/2/2008 - Complete
Slight Insanity formerly Jasper & the Bookclub by RockstarLife reviews
When Jasper is offered a job at the Forks High School library he meets some strange stalker like girls. But what happens when these girls are not what the Cullens thought they were? randomness, and Cullen crazyness! formerly Jasper & the Book Club R&R! oo
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,863 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/5/2008 - Published: 4/12/2008
Wedding Night What happens next by MaddilynnCarol reviews
What happens on their wedding night and when they arrive home... Who is waiting for them?
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 26,233 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 5/8/2008 - Published: 3/21/2008 - Complete
Arising of a New Sun by TwilightFlutes reviews
My life has gotten slightly better after these couple of months. I still have my moments of sobbing in my room alone. But my personal sun, Jacob, always made it better. Although he could never replace Edward, I was glad to have him around.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,400 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/27/2008 - Published: 2/3/2008
I Lost My Way When I Lost You by wrecking reviews
Bella follows through with her plans to become a vampire, but things don't exactly work out with Edward. This causes her to remember another person that made her happy and to seek him out. Jacob/Bella
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,049 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/9/2008 - Jacob, Bella - Complete
Phone Calls by tongue tied 16 reviews
Jacob has a great night with Bella at the movies, but then his whole world is flipped upside down. A series of oneshots strung together to make quite an interesting story . . . Please Read and Review!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,693 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 7/20/2007 - Published: 7/12/2007
The Covenant II: The Ipswich Curse by RedRogue reviews
The sons of Ipswich have a new enemy, and some old ones... Caleb finds tragedy, Reid finds love, Tyler finds rage, and Pogue finds secrets. Like what is the Ipswich curse? What happens if their power's existence is exposed to the world? COMPLETE
Covenant - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 24 - Words: 43,783 - Reviews: 519 - Favs: 240 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 12/31/2006 - Published: 9/25/2006 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Puppy Love reviews
Bella's friend from Phoenix is coming to be a Bridesmaid for Bella's wedding. Jake comes back from his depression, and instantly sees her. Will sparks fly? JakexOC BellaxEdward Lemony in later chapter. Written before Breaking Dawn came out
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,949 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 4/19/2009 - Published: 4/22/2008
If Bella Never Met Edward reviews
WHat would happen if Bella never met Edward. If Edward didnt live in rainy Forks. Bella meets Jacob, and instantly finds she has a good friend. Dont worry, Edward might come on later....depends on where i wanna take this. JxB I suck at summaries.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,091 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 5/17/2008 - Published: 5/11/2008