Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter, and Avengers.
JANUARY FOURTEENTH, 2O19
Progress Report on FREAK, 6.28.17: Hey, so life's been a touch busy lately and monthly updates look like they won't be happening any time soon. I will, however, try my best to write regularly since this story is rather dear to me. I'll post again once the first arc is done, that way no one will be left hanging too horribly while I take forever to write the next portion. I've kind of been swallowed by Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, so I'm having issues getting back in touch with my roots, but rest assured, I'll at least have the first arc of this finished and posted before I seriously sit down to write for another universe.
Progress Report on FREAK, 1.14.19: So… Remember how I said I wouldn't seriously start writing in another fandom until after I'd finished the first arc of FREAK? Well, I went and made a liar of myself. I do not have the words to express to you all just how sorry I am for that. I've just been having a hard time recapturing the mindset I was in when I wrote FREAK. I was in a really dark place when I started it, and my life's gotten so much better since then. Which, you know, is good for me but bad for you guys. To solve this problem, here's what I'm proposing:
I'm looking for a co-author for FREAK.
That way we can finally get the ball rolling on this story again. I haven't been able to write a word for it in years, but everyday the ideas for it just keep on coming and evolving. This story my child, and I would love to see my vision for it actualized. If anyone's interested, PM me and we'll talk.
Progress Report on FREAK VS Loki Silvertongue, 1.14.19: As for FREAK VS Loki Silvertongue, I've basically got the next chapter of Loki and Aterre's story plotted out, so the writing will flow easily once it comes. I'm mainly waiting until I can be bothered to catch up on all the movies I'm behind on in the MCU before I start it, since I have absolutely no clue what happens after Ragnarok and I want to make sure what I have in mind will work before I commit stuff to paper. (No spoilers, people!)
A couple months ago I would ask myself the same question every single day: "Why does Severus Snape get up in the morning?"
And every single day, I could never come up with an answer, and I was getting so frustrated because Snape's at the epicenter of the first arc in FREAK and how could I not know something so crucial to his characterization! And each day the question was met with a silence that grew more and more frustrated--not to mention more and more pissed-off--that one day I finally snapped and yelled at myself, "Because he fucking can, bitch! What the hell else kinda reason does he need? Damn."
And at first, I just paused because I'm usually not the sort of psycho who yells into mirrors. Then, I shook my head in disgust because, seriously, what a freakin' cop out, right? But then, I really thought about it for a bit, and about just what it would mean. And finally, I realized that, cheap device though it was, it was exactly what my story needed.
Why I Love Spike:
As a character, he's all about becoming more than what he is, what he's told he is. Cecily tells him that he's beneath her, and that cuts him to the quick and stays with him for over a hundred years because being unworthy or inadequate are genuine insecurities, even fears, of his. As a man, they cripple him, making him the painfully shy, socially awkward mama's boy he is. As a vampire, he's finally able to move past it, feeling a sense of self-worth for the first time in his life, though Angelus is quick to learn that his feelings of inadequacy are still present, if slightly harder to get at.
However, when it comes down to it, he's the only one who ever thought he was worthy of anything at all. And when things start going to shit for him in Sunnydale, like failing to kill Buffy and Dru going back to Angelus, it just serves to reinforce those old notions of inadequacy he'd thought long buried and to fuck with the picture of himself that he'd had in is head for the last hundred years or so. That's why Dru leaving him the way she does breaks him up so much. It's why he treats Harmony so horribly, her very presence a continuous reminder of the disparity between what he thinks he deserves and what he actually has in reality, his every interaction with her an illustration of the war between his demon-fueled self-confidence and the recently rediscovered self-doubt he carried over from his human life.
Sunnydale continually challenges how he perceives himself, until finally, in one horrifying moment in Buffy's bathroom, clarity is reached and the vampire sees himself for the first time in his immortal life. He sees himself and must suddenly deal with the realization that his greatest fears have come true, that he is unworthy of his heart's desires, that he really has always been inadequate compared to the standards of those around him. He saw himself, the one thing a vampire should never be able to do, and was disgusted. He finally saw the man in the mirror and knew he had to change. He faced his fears, acknowledged his unworthiness, his many inadequacies, and he owned them, he overwrote them and decided that they would no longer define him.
I also love that his whole character arc is essentially the mirror image of Whedon and Co. deciding to keep Spike on the show in the first place. I'll forever be grateful to James Marsters for portraying Spike in such a way where his potential to be more than evil was evident from the start. He took a two dimensional villain and turned him into a beloved three dimensional antihero, from the Big Bad to a lost and lonely man full of love and hardly any sense. Bravo.
Why I Don't Hate Angel:
I think we can all agree that Angel has a lot more potential evilness inside him, be he soulful or soulless, than Spike at his worst. And yet, as soon as he's told it's even possible, he works constantly toward redemption, always wanting absolution, for the ghost of his father to finally say that he's proud of him, to finally feel like a man, a good man. Yeah, he fails, a lot, but that's what makes him compelling. He's always struggling to find enough faith in himself to make it through whatever challenge is before him, and the team around him struggles with the same thing. Sometimes he's deserving of their faith and sometimes not, but like a true family they manage to come back together and hold on to each other time and time again on the show.
It's so relatable, especially if you're a screw-up who's ever disappointed your parents, or pushed the people who love you away because you don't want to hurt them any more--because you're undeserving--only to have those people come back to you, to never give up on trying to save you, on trying to get you to save yourself. (Story of my life, really.)
And something else to realize about him is that he is naturally a rather shallow person. As a human he's pretty two dimensional, just a drunk layabout with daddy issues and a thing for barmaids and servant girls. Then losing his soul as a vampire only makes him even more shallow (in the sense of: "Daddy issues? I'll just kill my dad. There! No more daddy issues.") Gaining his soul back suddenly thrusts him into a depth of feeling he was never born with the temperament to handle in the first place. He has to go on the same sort of hero's journey as Buffy does, both going from an ordinary, simple, and simplistic person to a one-of-a-kind superhuman with the weight of innumerable lives to bear (though, granted, for him that weight is felt in a vastly different way than it is for her).
And honestly, finding a fifteen-year-old girl any kind of attractive is hardly even a blip on the pervert radar. And stalking done by vampires is admittedly not as creepy in my mind as perhaps it ought to be, so just whatever on that front.
Hi, I'm Hawa D.L.
Hit me up if you're bored, I guess.
I've an account on FictionPress and Elysian Fields as Hawa DL, Wattpad as HawaDL, and Archive of Our Own as Hawa_DL. Though I really haven't posted too much elsewhere, there are times when I'm away from this site for a while because I've fallen down the fanfiction rabbit hole on one of those other sites instead, so if you really want to get in touch with me and I'm not responding for whatever reason, you can always try me on one of them.
Also, I'm god-awful at updating. Just know that if I haven't posted anything--either here or in my stories--in six months, then real life has probably hit me like a ton of bricks; if I haven't posted even an author's note in a year, however, then consider the ideas posted below officially up for adoption.
Live long and prosper and all that jazz.
The Walking Dead
Hope -- Looking for a beta. Daryl/OC, slow burn, friends to lovers, set mid-S2 through the rest of the series, with Carol/Daryl to start, gender fluid!demisexual!OC (like, gender fluid enough to give pour Daryl an identity crisis lol). Quickly turning into an epic at over one hundred pages and counting, and I've hardly made a dent in my rather extensive outline. Now, I've clearly lost my mind with this story, because this OC I've created is very heavily based on me (like, super duper, insanely detailed, soul-baringly raw me), but this is definitely where my muse is at right now, guys, and let me tell you, it's been one hell of a ride so far. Not a lot of action here, focus is mainly on the relationships between the ensemble characters and the changes the OC affects in the plot. Rated M for just about everything M worthy.
Buffy: The Vampire Slayer
Stardust in Her Eyes -- Spike/Buffy, set S2. Written in response to a challenge posted on Elysian Fields. Not exactly an epic in terms of number of chapters, but they do each have some heft as far as word count goes. Herein, Buffy loses her Slayer powers when the next is Called at the end of S1. The story explores how this seemingly fortuitous change in events quickly becomes one of the worst things to ever happen to her, only then… Well. Maybe--just maybe--it really is rather fortuitous after all. Rated M.
The Lady in Mourning -- Spike and Buffy (not really a romance, but this is me, and I really just can't help myself sometimes), set post S5 to pre-resurrection. Originally written for EFs' 2O17 Reunion Challenge, but then I got married, quit my job, moved a thousand miles, and had to go job hunting, and wouldn't you know it? I missed the deadline. It's a short(ish) story in which Spike has a friend, a true one, one who's always been there for him whenever he needed her, a fellow immortal who's been haunting him since his human days. NOT an OC story, so just who is this mysterious woman in mourning clothes? Rated T.
FREAK -- Harry/Severus. Darkish!Harry. Now looking for a co-author. I can't believe my twisted mind, honestly, I can't. I think I was about a page or two into this before I realized I was writing about a psychotic narcissist who would somehow win the heart of the king of snark. Fuck me. xp Rated M, if that wasn't obvious.
FREAK VS Loki Silvertongue -- This was spawned purely by my desire to read a Loki/Harry fic and having one hell of a time finding one, so I decided to write it myself. The story does come with some heavy warnings in the foreword because it is, admittedly, a bit of a trip. It went from porn-with-a-bit-o'-plot to porn-with-extra-plot to plot-with-a-bit-o'-porn. I still like it though, so whatever. Figured I'd share. It can be considered a series of one-shots scattered throughout a slightly twisted version of the MCU, but I (obviously) have to watch some more of the movies before I continue it. And yes, this is an actual sequel to FREAK and not just a random spin-off idea, and no, there really aren't going to be any real spoilers. Rated M.
Phoenix Rising -- A cannon Snape-somehow-survived-the-end-of-DH fic. One that's hopefully different in that no one actually knows he's still alive and takes place almost completely apart from Britain and her neighbors. All about self-discovery and learning to live. Pretty different for me since there are very few external conflicts. Rated M for a little bit of everything M worthy, save gore and torture and rape. Ick. But there's definite drug and alcohol use and sex of a wide variety of sorts and occasional bouts of minor violence, mostly of the drunken brawl variety. Eventually SSxOFC. Mostly fluff I'm writing to take off stress.
The Best Story Ever -- What happens when my mind suddenly tried to put The Princess Bride, The Pirates of the Caribbean, drama in the primary form of war and politics, magic, HPxDM and HPxSS slash and myself as an SI/narrator together. At first I actually got a legitimate headache trying to imagine all that in one universe, but then one day I woke up and it just worked. Main pairing will be Harry/Draco though the first part will be Harry/Severus. Darkish!Harry. Rated M for rape, violence, gore, and alcohol use. I mean they're pirates; that's what they do. Though I might throw in a sincere lemon or two eventually.
Magnum Opus -- Set in the present in the cannon HP universe. Follows seven artistic and/or musical students from around the world and from all different walks of life as they gather at Beauxbatons Academy for the first Triwizard Tournament to be held in decades. Explores love and growth and spirituality. Based off comparing and contrasting the Seven Deadly Sins with the Seven Heavenly Virtues. Will take years to complete as I'm also composing songs and choreographing dance routines and drawing pictures to go into a series of Youtube videos corresponding to each chapter. Rated T as of now, may go up if themes get more intense later on.
Naruto's Clueless -- What happens when I fall asleep in the living room with my little sister watching Blue's Clues while reading Naruto fanfiction. Basically Naruto and Sasuke are best buds trying to make it through college in Tokyo. Deciding he needs some more cash, Naruto convinces Jiraiya, a private investigator, to take him on as an apprentice of sorts. While madness and hilarity ensue on the surface, they soon uncover terrific plots years in the making that threaten to destroy the city. Obviously AU. Main pairing Naruto/Sasuke among many others. Rated M mostly for violence, though there will be occasional drugs, alcohol, and sex.
Naruto and Hinata: Rise of the Namikaze: Volumes I & II -- This isn't mine but was actually the first Naruto fanfic I ever read. EVER. As such I am extremely fond of it, and when the original author, moraven, discontinued it and put it up for adoption I happily snapped it up. It's fairly long though so I'm still putting my own touch to things and adding all my favorite plot devices and whatnot. I'll probably begin posting this only when Volume I is complete. I want to do it justice. Still a long way to go on that front though. Rated M for sex and violence, what every good action story needs. lol
Well, that's it. Thanks for creepin'.